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>>> TONIGHT, ON "RED EYE."
>> COMING UP ON "RED EYE,"
MONSTER BARTENDERS.
ARE THESE BEASTS TAKING JOBS
AWAY FROM THE HOTTER HUMAN
COUNTERPARTS?
WE PICK UP WHERE NO OTHER SHOW
LEFT OFF.
AND WHY IS IT IMPORTANT FOR
THE PRESIDENT AND JOE BIDEN TO
TAKE A ZUMBA CLASS TOGETHER
BEFORE THEY LEAVE OFFICE?
>> I WANT US TO BE ABLE TO SAY
YES WE DID.
>> AND FINALLY, NECK TIES.
HARMLESS PIECE OF CLOTH OR
POTENTIALLY LIFE-THREATENING
CHOKING HAZARD?
NONE OF THESE STORIES ON "RED
EYE" TONIGHT JIE. NOW LET'S
WELCOME OUR GUESTS.
SHE IS SO HOT THAT HOT WINGS
SERVE HER AT THEIR SUPER BOWL
PARTY.
THERE IS IS THE WAVE.
AND HE IS PLANING TO WATCH THE
KITTEN BOWL IN FOOTSIE
PAJAMAS. IT IS TV'S ANDY
LEVY.
IT IS BUCK SEXTON.
CO-HOST OF "THE REAL NEWS."
AND IF HILARITY WAS A DOZEN
ROSES HE WOULD COME IN A SHINY
BOX NEXT TO ME.
GAVIN McGUINNESS.
HIS MOVIE "THE BROTHERHOOD OF
THE TRAVELING RANTS" WHICH I
SAW AND ENJOYED IMMENSELY IS
NOW AVAILABLE ON NETFLIX.
I DID WATCH IT.
>> THANK YOU.
>> A BLOCK.
THE LEDE.
THAT'S THE FIRST STORY.
>> LIFE WITHOUT YOU WOULD BE
LIKE A BROKEN BAT.
POINTLESS.
>> IT WAS THE *** THAT
CAUSED THE RIPPLE.
IT IS THE 10th ANNIVERSARY
OF NEAP PELL GATE -- ***
GATE WHEN JUSTIN TIMBERLAKE
EXPOSED JANET JACKSON'S BREAST
IN THAT HALF TIME SHOW.
SOME WERE OUTRAGED AND THOSE
INVOLVED APOLOGIZED AND THE
REST OF US WENT ON-LINE AND
WATCHED IT A THOUSAND TIMES.
THE FCC CHAIRMAN AT THE TIME
SAYS HE THINKS THE WHOLE THING
WAS OVERBLOWN TELLING ESPN
MAGAZINE, QUOTE, I HAD TO PUT
MY BEST VERSION OF OUTRAGE ON
I COULD PUT ON.
PART WAS SURREAL, RIGHT?
LOOK, I THINK IT WAS DUMB TO
HAPPEN.
THEY KNEW THE RULES AND THEY
WERE FLIRTING WITH THEM.
MY JOB IS TO ENFORCE THE
RULES.
REALLY?
PRODUCERS OF THIS YEAR'S HALF
TIME SHOW PROMISED GREAT
PERFORMANCES AND HALF TIME
EFFECTS.
HERE IS A PREVIEW.
>> YOU DON'T NEED GLITZ AND
GLAMOUR TO MAKE A SPECIAL HALF
TIME HAPPEN FOR AMERICA.
YOU DON'T EVEN HAVE TO BE
AMERICAN IN MY VIEW.
GAVIN, YOU KNOW WHAT BUGS ME
ABOUT THIS IS THIS GUY
PRETENDS THAT HE REALLY WASN'T
UPSET 10 YEARS LATER.
>> THAT WAS A WEAK MOVE.
>> YES, IT WAS.
>> I FEEL UNCOMFORTABLE
TALKING ABOUT THIS.
EVERYBODY WHO TALKS ABOUT IT
STRANGELY DISAPPEARS.
HE WOULD ONLY TAKE ME THROUGH
A TRAP DOOR.
I SAID THIS IS FASCINATING.
I AM GLAD I AM SAYING IT ON
TELEVISION SO THEY CAN'T DO
ANYTHING.
>> WHAT IF THIS SHOW DOESN'T
AIR?
>> WE KNOW WHERE TO FIND YOU,
BUDDY.
>> IT IS A WEIRD, WEIRD THING,
JOANNE.
YOU WERE IN FIRST GRADE WHEN
THIS HAPPENED, OBVIOUSLY.
YOU DON'T EVEN REMEMBER WHAT
YOU WERE WATCHING.
>> I REMEMBER MY PARENTS
SCREAMED AND TOLD ME TO LOOK
AWAY, LOOK AWAY.
I TOLDLY LOOKED. -- I TOTALLY
LOOKED.
JANET IS THE REAL VICTIM
HERE.
I THINK THIS WHOLE SCENARIO
PROVES THAT JUSTIN IS RUINING
WOMEN'S LIVES.
THEIR CAREERS AND EXPECTATIONS
FOR MEN.
WHY ARE YOU NOT WEARING A SUIT
AND TIE?
>> THERE YOU GO.
IT IS TRUE THOUGH.
CAMERON DIAZ, WHAT HAPPENED?
>> RIGHT?
SHE USED TO BE ALL OVER THE
MAP AND HE BROKE HER HEART AND
SHE IS NOW, I DON'T KNOW,
CRIPPLED.
>> BRITNEY SPEARS.
BRITNEY SPEARS, REMEMBER?
SHE NEVER GOT OVER JT.
SHE SHAVED HER HEAD AND MARIES
***.
SHE DATES ***.
>> HAS CHILDREN.
>> THE CHILDREN THING.
>> DIDN'T JANET JACKSON GET
SUPER FAT?
>> SHE WAS ZOSTIG.
>> HAS ANYBODY EVER TRIED TO
RIP OFF YOUR HAIR AND WHAT
WILL WE FIND THERE?
THE MAP TO THE LOST CITY OF
ATLANTIS?
>> YOU WOULD FIND THE NUMBER
OF P O STIES IN THE SIGN OF
DOLLARS.
IT DOES COME OFF.
IT IS ATTACHABLE AND MACHINE
WASHABLE WHICH IS AWESOME.
THERE ARE TWO CRIMES HERE.
THE FACT THAT ANYBODY HAD TO
LISTEN TO ANY OF HER MUSIC IS
BRUTAL AND UNFAIR.
THE FACT THAT JUSTIN
TIMBERLAKE AFTER THIS SHAME
LESS MANEUVER MANAGES TO SNAG
JESSICA BIEL, THAT IS
INJUSTICE, MY FRIEND.
THAT NEVER SHOULD HAVE
HAPPENED.
MARY CANDICE FROM "SEVENTH
HEAVEN."
>> IF ONLY SHE WERE SINGLE.
>> SHE TOTALLY TWEETED AT ME
ONCE AND OFFERED ME A HAIR GEL
THING.
>> SHE WAS TRYING TO KILL
YOU.
ANDY YOU PICKETED JUSTIN
TIMBERLAKE'S HOME IN MALIBU.
YOUR OUTRAGE WAS REAL JIE. IF
THIS HAPPENED TODAY JT WOULD
NOT HAVE GOTTEN OFF SO EASY.
10 YEARS AGO EVERYONE DECIDED
IT WAS JANET'S FAULT.
I DON'T THINK -- THERE WERE
TOO MANY FEMINIST BLOGS OUT
THERE.
JT WOULD HAVE NEVER GOTTEN
AWAY WITH THIS.
>> *** SHAMING.
>> BY THE WAY.
IT WAS A BREAST.
WHO WAS HARMED BY THIS?
LITERALLY EVERY KID HAS SEEN A
BREAST.
>> AREN'T WE DESENSITIZED IN
THE POST TWERKING ERA?
>> AFTER MILEY CYRUS YOU CAN
POP OUT A BREAST WITH A PASTEY
NO PROBLEM.
>> IT WAS BASICALLY SAYING WE
DON'T CARE IF THERE ARE KIDS
IN THE ROOM.
WE WILL DO IT.
IT LEADS ME TO A BIGGER
POINT.
I DON'T THINK IT WAS
OFFENSIVE.
IT WAS A SIGN OF THE TIMES.
POP CULTURE SWALLOWED ANOTHER
PART OF FOOTBALL. THE SPORT
IS NOT ENOUGH.
YOU NEED GRAMMY STYLE
ENTERTAINMENT.
I THINK THIS IS HAPPENING
WHEREVER YOU GO.
DO I MAKE SENSE?
>> IT WAS AN UGLY WAY TO
PORTRAY A ***.
I WONDER IF YOU PULLED YOUR
*** OUT OF THE PAJAMAS FIRST
THING IN THE MORNING -- IT WAS
JUST HANGING OUT THERE.
>> TREMENDOUS METAPHOR.
>> IT WAS DEPRESSING. IT WAS
LIKE, I SAW HER *** THE WAY
GAYS SEE ***.
>> I HAD NO IDEA.
>> THAT'S HOW SHE PRESENTED
IT.
A MEDICAL THING.
>> WHAT YOU ARE SAYING -- IT
LOOKED LIKE A VERTICAL
MAMMOGRAM.
>> IT WAS LIKE A BAG OF SAND.
>> THAT'S WHY THEY CAN SAY IT
WAS AN ACCIDENT BECAUSE IT WAS
SO PLOPPED OUT.
>> I LOVE THE NFL PRETENDED TO
BE OUTRAGED.
THERE ARE SUPER BORE
COMMERCIALS THAT ARE FAR
RACIER THAN WHAT HAPPENED ON
THE SCREEN FOR THREE SECONDS.
OH, WE CAN'T BELIEVE THAT
HAPPENED.
FOR MICHAEL POWELL TO SAY THIS
WAS NO BIG DEAL, HE USED THIS
TO LAUNCH A HUGE CAMPAIGN
AGAINST SUPPOSED INDY SEN SEE
TO THE -- INDECENT SEE WHERE
THERE WERE A BUNCH OF
AFFILIATES WHO WOULDN'T AIR
"SAVING PRIVATE RYAN" BECAUSE
THEY WERE AFRAID MICHAEL
POWELL WOULD CRACKDOWN ON THEM
FOR INDY SEN SEE.
>> IF YOU LOOK AT THE
COUNTERPARTS YOU WATCH TV AND
SEE A NICE PAIR OF *** AND
THEY SELL IT ALL THE TIME.
NO PROBLEM.
THERE ARE KIDS THERE.
>> WE NEED TO GET RID OF ARTS
AND CULTURE.
GET RID OF IT COMPLETELY AND
WE WILL BE SAFE.
>> I THINK YOU ARE ABSOLUTELY
RIGHT.
NOW SHE IS SPEAK MY LANGUAGE.
IT IS A BOTHERSOME THING THIS
WHOLE ART STUFF.
IT WAS GREAT IN SCHOOL WHEN
YOU PAINTED STUFF AND PUT IT
ON THE FRIGE.
THEN YOU HAVE TO GET JOBS
MAKING BOWLS.
>> IS THAT WHAT IT WAS?
>> TECHNICALLY DANCING AND
SINGING IS IN THE OR THE
GENRE.
IT JUST LOOKED LIKE A COUPLE
OF ADOLESCENTS IN A BAD HIGH
SCHOOL PLAY.
>> I WANT TO MOVE ON.
THIS IS ANOTHER INTERESTING
SUPER BOWL TOPIC, OR ACTUALLY
IT IS ABOUT THE PUPPY BOWL.
THE TOLL OF THE PUPPY BOWL.
IT DRAWS BILLIONS OF VIEWERS,
BUT IS THERE A DARK SIDE?
A WRITER FOR THE NEW REPUBLIC
WONDERS IF WE CAN BE SURE
PUPPY FOOTBALL IS ENTIRELY
SAFE.
A VET IS ON SITE DURING
FILMING AS IS A MONITOR FROM
THE AMERICAN HUE -- HUMANE
ASSOCIATION.
THAT SOUNDS TROUBLING.
HE WORRIES THAT THE CONTEST
FEEDS OUR COUNTRY'S OBSESSION
WITH PUPPIES.
SOME HUMANS CANNOT RESIST
SAVING A SAD PUPPY THEY
SPOTTED THROUGH A PET STORE
WINDOW.
TELL ME ABOUT IT.
IT MAY HAVE FREED ONE PUP, BUT
IT SUPPORTED LARGE SCALE
COMMERCIAL DOG BREEDERS KNOWN
AS PUPPY MILLS.
LET'S LOOK AT SOME SO-CALLED
HIGHLIGHTS FROM LAST YEAR'S
PUPPY BOWL.
>>> WE WERE NOT SUPPOSED TO
HIRE THAT GOTH FOR OUR
PRODUCTION DEPARTMENT.
>> HORRIFIED.
ABSOLUTELY HORRIFIED.
>> I DON'T KNOW IF ANY OF THAT
IS TRUE.
WE HIRE A GOTH AND THAT'S WHAT
WE GET.
ALL HE LESSENS TO IS BALL
HOUSE.
JOANNE, THEY CLAIM THE PUPPIES
ARE SAFE, BUT THEY WOULD SAY
THAT, WOULDN'T THEY?
>> OF COURSE THEY WOULD.
JUST LIKE EVERYTHING ELSE IN
THIS COUNTRY IT IS CORRUPT.
BUT THERE IS A BIGGER ISSUE IN
THIS CRI. WE ARE SPECIESIST.
WHY IS THERE NOT A KITTEN
BOWL?
>> THERE IS A KITTEN BOWL.
>> REALLY?
>> I DON'T KNOW.
>> THERE IS A KITTEN BOWL ON
THE HOMEWORK CHANNEL.
>> NO ONE WATCHES THAT.
>> THERE IS NO SNAKE BOWL.
>> IT IS ALL ABOUT PUPPIES.
>> THERE IS NO TURKEY VULTURE
BOWL, BUCK.
>> EVERYONE IS TRYING TO COVER
UP WHAT A IS HAPPENING HERE
WHICH IS PUPPY CONCUSSIONS.
THE PUPPIES SEE A LITTLE
MILK-BONE AND GO HEAD TO HEAD
FOR EACH OTHER.
THEY LOOK ALL CUTE, BUT NO
HELMETS ON THE PUPPIES.
THE MORE IMPORTANT STORY, ONE
NOT COVERED IN THE MAINSTREAM
MEDIA AND BARACK OBAMA IS
USING THE IRS TO GO AFTER
PUPPY CONTESTANTS BECAUSE HE
SAID IT IS A POLITICAL
ACTIVITY BANNED UNDER NEW IRS
REGULATIONS.
I AM BREAKING THE STORY NOW.
BARACK OBAMA, ANTI-PUPPY AS
WELL AS HATING AMERICA.
>> WOW, BUCK SEXTON, YOU ARE
LIKE AN INVESTIGATIVE REPORTER
WITH GREAT HAIR.
GAVIN, WILL YOU BE WATCHING
THIS?
>> NO, I DON'T LIKE SPORTS.
>> NEITHER DO I.
>> I WISH THE PUPPIES THE
BEST, BUT I HAVE NEVER BEEN A
SPORTS GUY, AND I DON'T EVEN
KNOW THE TEAMS.
CONGRATULATIONS TRANSIENT
MILLIONAIRE PUPPIES PLAYING A
GAME WHERE YOU MOVE SOMETHING
AROUND AND YOU GO TO A 10 WITH
ANOTHER LOGO ON YOUR SHIRT.
>> BY THE WAY, THEY CAN'T EVEN
PLAY FOOTBALL?
>> IS THAT WHAT IT IS CALLED?
SOME OF THE GOLDEN RETRIEVERS
HAVE LITTERS OF PUPPIES THEY
CAN'T NAME THEM OR TAKE CARE
OF THEM AND LEAVE THEM
BEHIND.
IT IS NOT COOL.
>> LACK OF RESPONSIBILITY.
>> THERE ARE PUPPIES RUNNING
AROUND WITH OTHER PUPPIES.
>> AND THEY GO TO PUPPY STRIP
CLUBS WHICH MAKES ME SICK TO
MY STOMACH.
>> GREG, APPARENTLY I AM THE
ONLY ONE THAT DID RESEARCH AND
64% OF THE PLAYERS IN THE
PUPPY BOWL END UP WITH SEVERE
LONG-TERM BRAIN DAMAGE BECAUSE
OF CONCUSSIONS.
ANIMAL PLANET REFUSES TO ADMIT
CULPABILITY.
THEY ACTIVELY TRY TO SQUASH
THE TRUTH.
ONE MEDICAL EXAMINER SAID YOU
CAN'T GO AGAINST DISCOVERY OF
COMMUNICATIONS.
THEY WILL SQUASH YOU.
ONE FORMER PLAYER SAYS, QUOTE,
THE MINUTE YOU STEP ON THAT
FIELD YOU ARE ONLY ONE PLAY
AWAY FROM GETTING SERIOUSLY
INJURED.
BUT PEOPLE DON'T CARE.
THEY WATCH THE PUPPY BOWL FOR
THE VIOLENCE AND THE
SAVAGERY.
IT MAKES ME SICK.
>> IF YOU LOOK AT THIS, THE
AUTHOR MADE A GOOD POINT THAT
IT IS CALLED THE PUPPY BOWL.
IT IS NOT CALLED THE DOG BOWL
BECAUSE WE DON'T CARE ABOUT
CERTAIN THINGS WHEN THEY GET
OLDER.
TECHNICALLY SHOULDN'T THE
SUPER BOWL BE PLAYED BY
BABIES, JOANNE GNAW --
JOANNE?
>> ARE YOU OKAY?
WELL, IT IS NOT BEING PLAYED
BY 60-YEAR-OLD MEN.
>> THAT'S TRUE.
WHICH TECHNICALLY A DOG IS A
60-YEAR-OLD MAN.
>> YES, IN DOG YEARS.
>> IT CAN'T BE PLAYED BY
DOGS.
THEY HAVE VERY SHORT CAREERS.
IF YOU LOOK AT THEM AFTER
THREE, FOUR YEARS OF DOING
THIS, MOST CAN'T WALK.
>> THEY WILL BE BANKRUPT TWO
YEARS AFTER THEY RETIRE
BECAUSE A LOT ARE SO STUPID.
>> THEY WILL OPEN THEIR CAR
WASH AND THEIR MONEY WILL GO
DOWN THE DRAIN.
>> THEY GIVE AWAY THE MONEY TO
THEIR DOGS.
>> THEIR ENTOURAGE.
>> PEOPLE JUST MILKING THEM TO
DEATH.
LIKE WE HAVE DONE TO THIS
SEGMENT.
DID HER SHAWL GO AWOL?
IT IS DAY 732 OF -- LYNDSAY
LOHAN CLAIMS HALF OF HER
$75,000 FUR COAT WENT MISSING
AT A NEW YORK NIGHTCLUB.
SHE BLAMES INJURED SEATTLE
SEAHAWKS PLAYER.
WHO WOULDN'T?
THE ACTRESS WAS PARTYING WITH
SYDNEY RICE AND FRIENDS ON
WEDNESDAY NIGHT.
TMZ SAID SHE CALLED EVERYONE
TO HER TABLE TO SEE IF THEY
HAD THE COAT, BUT WASN'T ABLE
TO CONTACT RICE, SO OBVIOUSLY
HE IS GUILTY.
A SOURCE SAID, QUOTE, THERE
WAS NO FUR COAT.
LYNDSAY ARRIVED IN A LEATHER
JACKET WITH A SEPARATE LONG
FUR SHAWL.
THEY CAUGHT UP WITH A MEMBER
OF HER ENTOURAGE THE NEXT
DAY.
>> HI, MATE.
TO MY DRINKING.
TO MY DRINKING. [LAUGHING].
>> NOTHING LIKE AN ALCOHOLIC.
ALL RIGHT, THAT BRINGS OUT THE
BEST IN US.
I DON'T KNOW WHERE TO START.
SHE BLAMED AN A INJURED
SEATTLE SEAHAWKS PLAYER.
DON'T THEY ALL?
>> WHEN SHE IS NOT CLUBBING
BABY SEALS THIS IS WHAT
LINDSAY LOHAN IS UP TO.
I AM AMAZED SHE HAS A $75,000
FUR COAT AT THIS POINT AT
ALL.
SHE SHOULD BE BROKER THAN MC
HAMMER.
WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME SHE WAS
IN A MOVIE?
>> I HAVE A THEORY THAT SHE
BARROWED THIS AND SHE IS
TRYING TO MAKE SOME MONEY.
JOANNE, YOU WORK IN A CLUB.
SHE WAS BANNED --
>> LISTEN, YOU BAN PEOPLE ALL
THE TIME.
YOU ALWAYS BRING THEM BACK.
IT BRINGS YOU THE PRESS.
IT BRINGS MORE PEOPLE IN.
>> HAVE YOU EVER BANNED
SOMEBODY?
>> OH YEAH.
NOT ME PERSONALLY JIE. DID YOU
BAN NEB -- ANYBODY FAMOUS?
>> I SERVED FAMOUS PEOPLE.
THEY STILL REMEMBER WHEN I GO
UP TO THE STREET.
NO, THEY DON'T.
>> THAT'S A SHAME.
YOU SHOULD STOP FOLLOWING
THEM.
THAT'S CREEPY.
WHAT DO YOU THINK, GAVIN, DO
YOU THINK SHE MADE UP THE
STORY?
>> YEAH, OF COURSE SHE DID.
AS AN ALCOHOLIC THAT WAS OUR
SHIZNIT.
WE WOULD SAY, REMEMBER WHEN
YOUR SHAWL WENT ON FIRE?
LET'S SAY THAT BLACK DUDE TOOK
IT AND HE IS PROBABLY GOING TO
SELL IT.
THEY WOULD BE LIKE, DONE.
NOW WITH THESE NERDS AND THEIR
THEIRCCTV CAMERAS WE CAN'T DO
THOSE STORIES.
WE CAN'T EVEN DO COKE
ANYMORE.
YOU CAN'T CHEAT ON YOUR WIFE.
THE NERDS HAVE TAKEN OVER AND
RUINED OUR LIVES.
THERE IS NO MORE
PHILANDERING.
I LIKED LYING.
IT GOT ME OUT OF A LOT OF
TOUGH POSITIONS.
>> LAST WEEK YOU LOST YOUR
JACKET IN A BAR AND BLAMED A
GROUP OF TOUGHS.
BY THE WAY, I AM NOT JOKING.
HE BLAMED A A GROUP OF TOUGHS
FOR STEALING HIS JACKET WHICH
HE LATER FOUND IN HIS WIFE'S
CLOSET.
>> YOU CAN'T SAY THUG
ANYMORE.
>> YOU NEVER EVEN SAW ANY
TOUGHS.
>> MY WATCH WAS GONE, SO I
HAVE SEEN THEM ON TV WHERE
THEY DO THIS SNAKY THING.
I FOUND THE WATCH AND THE
BLAZER IN MY WIFE'S STUFF.
>> BUT THE NICE THING IS YOU
CALLED AND APOLOGIZED TO THE
OWNER OF THE BAR.
>> YES, BUT I WAS MAKING FUN
OF HIS ACCENT AND MAKING FUN
OF HIM FOR BEING DIVORCED AND
THAT WAS NOT COOL.
>> YOU KNOW WHAT HE SAID TO
ME?
I WAS HOPING HE WOULD GO HOME
WITH MY EX-WIFE.
THAT'S WHAT HE SAID ABOUT
YOU.
>> I'M SORRY, BUT DON'T YOU GO
YOU -- COME ON.
>> WE ARE TALKING ABOUT OTHER
THINGS.
ANDY, YOU LEFT A CROSS ON THE
BUS.
>> I HAVE LIVED IN NEW YORK
FOR 30 YEARS AND NEVER BEEN ON
THE BUS.
SUBWAY ALL THE TIME, BUT NEVER
THE BUS.
REMEMBER SUSAN SMITH?
THE COLORADO WOMAN WHO
STRAPPED HER KIDS INTO THE CAR
AND ROLLED IT INTO THE LAKE
AND TOLD THE POLICE SHE WAS
CARJACKED BY BLACK MAN?
NOTHING HAS CHANGED IN 20
YEARS.
LYNDSAY LOHAN IS BLAMING A
BLACK HAN FOR STEALING A COAT
THAT DOESN'T EXIST.
>> HOW DO YOU STEAL HALF A
COAT?
>> IT WAS A TWO PIECE.
I AM THINKING IT WAS A SHAWL
COAT THAT ATTACHES.
>> IT WAS VERY COLD OUTLAST
NIGHT.
SOMEBODY PERHAPS NEEDED IT FOR
JUST ST A AVING OFF
HYPOTHERMIA.
>> WOULDN'T YOU SAY THIS
PERSON PROBABLY REALLY NEEDED
MY COAT?
>> SHE SOLD THE COAT AND SHE
NEEDED A STORY.
THE PEOPLE THAT LENT IT TO
HER -- THAT'S MY THEORY.
>> SHE SHOULD HAVE SAID SHE
GAVE IT TO A BAG LADY WHO HAD
A NEWBORN AND THEY WERE
SHIVERING.
>> YOU KNOW WHAT, I DON'T CARE
WHAT THIS COSTS, I WILL SAVE
THIS BABY.
>> NOBODY WOULD BELIEVE
LYNDSAY LOHAN WOULD DO THAT.
>> COMING UP, SUPER BOWL
XLVI.
IT IS A YEAR AND THREE DAYS
AWAY.
PLAN NOW, EVERYONE.
I AM BUILDING A SPECIAL FOR
THE THE -- SPECIAL FORT OF
DISCARDED PILLOWS I FOUND ON
THE FREEWAY.
SHOULD CRIME ALERT AVOID USING
RACIAL DESCRIPTIONS 1234* OUR
--
>>> IS THERE MORE TO TELL
ABOUT UBL?
A CALIFORNIA STATE UNIVERSITY
TEACHER SEEN HERE LOOKING
TEACHERY CLAIMS IN A BOOK THAT
BIN LADEN WAS A FREEDOM
FIGHTER.
EMMETT EVANS A POLLY CAL
SCIENCE CLAIMS THE WORLD FOOD
SYSTEMS CLASS SHOULD READ HIS
WRITINGS BECAUSE NO ONE ELSE
WILL.
IT OFFERS A DIFFERENT TAKE ON
OSAMA'S ORGANIZATION.
THEY SAY OSAMA BIN LADEN IS AN
ATTEMPT TO FREE A COUNTRY AND
IN THIS CASE SAUDI ARABIA FROM
A CORRUPT AND REPRESSED REGIME
AND COLONIAL POWER, IN THIS
CASE THE U.S.
WHEN FOX NEWS ASKED HIM HE
QUOTED, QUOTE, WITH RESPECT TO
MY WRITING THEY ARE EMPIRICAL
AND NOT NORMATIVE.
SPEAKING OF THINGS THAT ARE
EMPIRICAL AND NOT NORMATIVE.
>> OH THEY NEVER LEARN.
BUCK, YOU WERE SAYING AS YOU
WERE WATCHING THIS, THE
PROFESSOR'S WRITINGS HAVE
CHANGED YOUR MIND ABOUT
AL-QAEDA AND AMERICA.
I WAS SURPRISED.
>> WHEN I WAS IN THE CIA WE
SHOULD HAVE BLOWN UP MORE OF
THEM.
THIS GUY IS VERY
REPRESENTATIVE OF THE BROADER
SENTIMENT ON COLLEGE CAMPUS
WHICH IS ANYTHING YOU CAN DO
TO TRY TO CHANGE THE
PERCEPTION OF AL-QAEDA IN SUCH
TO MAKE IT A FREEDOM STRUGGLE,
THEY TEND TO DO.
WHETHER YOU THAT SEQUESTERED
YOU HAVE TENURE AND YOU CAN
SMOKE BEFORE AND AFTER CLASS,
YOU DON'T HAVE A REAL JOB AND
YOU START TO THINK THESE CRAZY
THOUGHTS.
>> GAVIN, MY PROBLEM IS THE
WORD -- WELL, TWO THINGS.
IF THEY ARE ANY -- IF THERE
ARE ANY STUDENTS RELATIVES OF
9/11 VICTIMS, THEY WOULD -- I
WOULD WOULD -- THEY WOULD KILL
THE GUY .
NUMBER TWO, I THINK THAT WAS
IT.
NO, CALLING BIN LADEN A
FREEDOM FIGHTER, BIN LADEN WAS
NEVER FIGHTING FOR FREEDOM.
HE WAS FIGHTING FOR THE
OPPOSITE, A TOE TOTALITARIAN
TAKEOVER.
>> HE DOESN'T WANT FREEDOM.
THAT'S WHY HE IS FIGHTING.
IN A SENSE HE IS A FIGHTER OF
FREEDOM.
>> AND HE IS AN IMPERIALIST.
>> HE HE -- SHE A COLONIAL.
THEY THINK SPAIN BELONGS TO
THEM.
>> I'M WITH HIM ON THAT.
>> EMPIRICAL.
I AM EMPIRICAL AND NORMATIVE.
>> I HAVE SEEN COMEDIANS SAY
9/11 WAS A REWARD FOR OUR
FOREIGN POLICY.
BIN LADEN SAID IT WAS.
AIR GO THAT IS WHY IT
HAPPENED.
YOU SAY WHY DID THEY ATTACK
VANCOUVER?
WHY DID THEY DRIVE A FLAMING
CAR INTO THE AIRPORT AT GLASS
SCOW?
AND A WOMAN HAS A BURKE CAW
AND THEY SAY WHAT ARE YOU
DOING WITH PURPLE SOCKS?
THEY ARE INSATIABLE.
YOU CAN NEVER MAKE THEM
HAPPY.
>> THAT'S THE HARD PART.
YOU CAN'T MEET THEM HALFWAY.
>> WORST BOYFRIEND EVER!
>> WHAT DO YOU MAKE OF THIS,
JOANNE?
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF COLLEGE.
>> WELCOME TO COLLEGE.
YOU HAVE LIBERAL PROFESSORS.
THAT'S WHAT THEY DO, RIGHT?
>> DUMB THINGS.
>> EXPRU SUPPOSED TO QUESTION
IT.
THE KID WHO TOOK THIS CLASS,
THIS WOULD BE A MUCH BETTER
STORY IF HIS GRADE WAS
AFFECTED BECAUSE HE CHALLENGED
THE PROFESSOR.
IT WASN'T.
HE EVEN SAID MY GRADE WAS
MULTIPLE CHOICE TESTS.
I DID FINE.
I DON'T KNOW WHY HE IS
COMPLAINING.
WELCOME TO SCHOOL.
YOU GO TO THE PUB AND YOU
COMPLAIN WITH YOUR CLASSMATES
ABOUT THE PROFESSOR.
>> THERE ARE TWO ISSUES HERE,
GREG AND LET ME TELL YOU WHAT
THEY ARE. THE FIRST IS THE
PROFESSOR CLAIMING THE WHOLE
RIDICULOUS EMPIRICAL IS NOT
NORMATIVE.
IT IS A NARMATIVE STATEMENT.
>> I THOUGHT IT WAS NOT
NORMAL.
>> AND IT IS CONTRIDICTED BY
BIN LADEN'S OWN STATEMENTS.
AFTER 9/11 BIN LADEN SAID HIS
MOTIVATION FOR THE ATTACKS WAS
THE INJUSTICE AND TIERNEY OF
THE ISRAELI-AMERICAN ALLIANCE
IN PALESTINE AND LEBENON.
NOTHING ABOUT FREEING SAUDI
ARABIA FROM A REGIME.
THE FACT CONTRIDICTS WHAT HE
SAYS.
I AGREE WITH JOANNE.
AT LEAST THE GUY DIDN'T PUSH
THE STUDENTS FOR DISAGREEING
WITH THEM.
HE APOLOGIZED FOR NOT MAKING
IT CLEARER HIS COURSE HAD A
SLANT TO IT. I TOOK A CLASS
CALLED CAPITALISM.
I GOT IN THE CLASS AND WITHIN
A HALF HOUR I REALIZED THE
WHOLE CLASS WOULD BE TAUGHT
FROM A MARXIST PERSPECTIVE.
>> CAPITALISM WITH A "K."
>> I HAVE NO PROBLEM TEACHING
FROM A MARXIST PERSPECTIVE,
BUT YOU NEED TO SAY THAT.
>> I WAS 20 -- WHAT WAS I 19?
I TOOK A CLASS ON I THINK
HISTORY OF RELIGION.
I JUST THOUGHT IT WAS OH THIS
WILL BE INTERESTING BECAUSE I
WENT TO WELL YEARS OF CATHOLIC
SCHOOL AND THIS WILL BE FUN.
I HAD NO IDEA IT WAS LIKE THE
HISTORY OF EVIL RELIGION.
IT WAS JUST LIKE -- FROM THE
DAY IT STARTED IT WAS NONSTOP.
I DIDN'T KNOW ANY BETTER.
>> EXCEPT FOR ISLAM WHICH THEY
TEACH IS A RELIGION OF PEACE.
SOME OF THE EVIDENCE TO THE
CONTRARY SOMETIMES.
>> IT WAS ALL ABOUT THE
BIBLE.
>> YOU KNOW WHAT IS INCREDIBLE
ABOUT COLLEGE, NO MATTER HOW
CRAZY OUR STORIES ARE, MY
PROFESSOR WAS THE HEAD OF THE
COMMUNIST PARTY AND HE SAID IT
IS OKAY TO HAVE AN ABORTION UP
TO YEAR AFTER THE BABY IS
BORN.
IT IS LIKE STAR TREK AND
GENDER BIAS AND SCIENCE
FICTION IN BATHROOMS?
IT HAS GOTTEN WAY WORSE THAN
THE 1990s.
>> OR WAY BETTER.
I WOULD RATHER LEARN ABOUT
"STAR TREK" THAN GENDER NORM.
>> IF YOU HAD AN OPEN MIND
LESBIANS OF THE CARIBBEAN WAS
AN INTERESTING CLASS.
>> ON THAT NOTE, ARE YOUR
PLANTS WATCHING YOU UNDRESS?
A SHOCKING FIVE-PART SERIES
BEGINNING NEXT WEEK.
WHAT IS THE NUMBER ONE SNAG ON
SUPER BOWL SUNDAY?
YOU
>>> DOES THE AVERAGE MD KNOW
LESS THAN YOU AND ME?
A ACCORDING TO THE ON-LINE
ENCYCLOPEDIA THAT NEARLY
ANYONE IN THE WORLD CANNED DIT
-- CAN EDIT IS THE TOP SOURCE
OF HEALTH CARE INFORMATION FOR
DOCTORS AND PATIENTS.
NOW MED SCHOOL IS
UNNECESSARY.
PHYSICIANS ADMITTED THEY
CONSULTED WIKIPEDIA ON SERIOUS
ILLNESSES ESPECIALLY LESS
COMMON ONES.
FEEL FREE TO SEND ME PICTURES
OF ANY RASHES ON YOUR BUTTOCKS
AND I WILL DIAGNOSE THEM FOR
FREE.
I AM AN EXPERT.
DO YOU USE WIKIPEDIA TO
DIAGNOSE THE MALATIES.
>> I USE WEB MD.
IT IS MORE PROFESSIONAL.
>> RIGHT BECAUSE IT HAS MD IN
IT.
>> AND THROUGH THIS WEBSITE I
HAVE DISCOVERED I HAVE THYROID
PROBLEMS.
I AM NOT SURE WHICH ONE.
>> THEY ARE ALL THE SAME.
>> AND I HAVE BEEN GOING
THROUGH MENOPAUSE FOR THE PAST
SIX MONTHS.
>> GOOD FOR YOU.
>> THE PROBLEM WITH WEB MD IS
WHEN YOU LOOK UP A SYMPTOM AND
IT COULD GO -- GO-- THE COUGH CA
COLD OR CANCER.
>> EVERYTHING IS FATAL.
IF YOU LOOK UP SWOLLEN GLANDS
YOU WILL FREAK OUT SAYING I
HAVE THAT WEIRD DISEASE THAT
YOU CAN ONLY GET IF YOU WERE
THAT PART OF THE NILE RIVER
AND BITTEN BY THE WEIRD BUG,
AND MAYBE IT WAS WHILE I WAS
SLEEP AND THAT IS WHY THE
GLAND IS SWOLLEN.
>> OR IT IS AIDS.
>> I THOUGHT ONLY JEWS DID
THIS.
I ASSUMED WEB MD WAS A WEBSITE
FOR JEWS TO HAVE ON THEIR --
THEY CAN BASICALLY HAVE IT AS
THEIR HOME PAGE.
THIS IS WEIRD TO ME.
>> THE INTERNET HAS NOT BEEN
KIND TO INURE ROT
PARTICULARS.
GAVIN THERE WERE 71,000 ACTIVE
USERS AND NO CREDENTIAL
CHECKS.
IT MAKES SENSE THAT A DOCTOR
WOULD USE THIS.
>> WELL, IT DOES.
WHAT DOES THAT SAY ON BIT
COINS?
THERE IS AUTHORITY IN
NUMBERS.
I NOTICED LIBERALS ALWAYS DO
THIS.
THEY SAY, YEAH, IT IS ON
WIKIPEDIA.
YOU CAN TRUST THAT.
YOU CAN, MORON.
GO TO LIVER RIGHT NOW AND
CHANGE A IT TO THING THAT
DOESN'T CLEAN YOUR BLOOD AND
IT WILL BE GONE IN 60
SECONDS.
>> THAT'S WHAT I DON'T GET.
WHO IS DOING IT?
IT IS LIKE ELVES.
>> IT IS AN INCREDIBLY
EFFICIENT SYSTEM.
>> WHAT IF YOUR DOCTOR CHECK
ITSELF IN THE 60-SECOND
PERIOD.
>> THEY WILL SAY YOUR BLOOD IS
DIRTY.
LET'S GET RID OF THE LIVER.
>> AT SOME POINT YOUR DOCTOR
WILL HAVE A FILM IN ONE HAND
AND TWITTER IN THE OTHER AND
HE WILL SAY I THOUGHT IT WAS
THIS, BUT SOMEBODY TOLD ME --
>> LET ME ASK MY FOLLOWERS.
>> THEY WILL CROWD AROUND FOR
YOUR DIAGNOSIS.
>> THE THING IS, ANDY, REAL
DOCTORS DO NOT HAVE TIME TO
WRITE WIKIPEDIA ENTRIES.
WHO IS DOING THIS?
WHO IS DOING IT?
>> PEOPLE WHO HAVE TOO MUCH
TIME.
>> THEY ARE NOT INACCURATE.
>> FOR ME WIKIPEDIA IS A LINK
TO ACTUAL SOURCES.
IF I NEED TO LOOK SOMETHING UP
I MAY GO TO WIKIPEDIA FIRST
AND I WILL CHECK THE FOOT
NOTES AND THEN GO TO THE
PRIMARY SOURCES TO MAKE SURE
THE PERSON WRITING
WIKIPEDIA --
>> OH I CHECK WIKIPEDIA A LOT
AND IT TURNS OUT THERE IS
SOMETHING WRONG WITH MY
THYROID, I AM NOT SURE WHICH
WAY AND I HAVE BEEN GOING
THROUGH MENOPAUSE FOR THE LAST
SIX MONTHS.
>> THAT'S BEAUTIFUL.
>> I HAVE A THEORY THAT
WIKIPEDIA IS AS CLOSE AS YOU
GET TO GOD.
>> THAT'S ACTUALLY NOT CRAZY
TALK. GOD IS ALL OF OUR
BRAINS AND SORT OF COLLECTIVE
CONSCIOUSNESS.
>> IT IS FREAKING ME OUT.
>> THE FACT WE CAN AMALGAMATE
THIS TRUTH IS HEAVEN.
>> IT IS THE SINGULARITY WHEN
YOU CAN UP LOAD YOUR BRAIN ON
THED WITH.
EXCEPT YOU CAN'T HAVE HAIR ON
THE WEB, GREG OR A STAGGIN
WAGON.
>> IF YOU PUT ANY WORD INTO
WICK CAW PETTED -- WIKIPEDIA
SOMEBODY WILL HAVE DEETT --
DEVOTED TIME TO IT.
>> ISN'T IT SCIENTOLOGY AND
HOW IT SORT OF HAPPENED?
>> THAT IS L RON HUBBARD.
WE ARE TALKING ABOUT THE BIG
GUY.
>> OH.
>> WIKIPEDIA IS ALWAYS RIGHT.
ACTUALLY ON MY OWN PAGE IT
SAYS I AM RACIST AND SEXIST
AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW THAT.
I WAS LIKE, YEAH.
>> YOU KNOW THERE ARE MISTAKES
ON MY WIKIPEDIA PAGE AND I
CANNOT CHANGE.
THERE IS A QUOTE ON MY
WIKIPEDIA PAGE ABOUT SAYING
MUGWUMP LIBERTARIAN AND I
DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT IT IS.
IT IS FOOT NOTED TO AN EPISODE
OF "RED EYE" THAT I AM TOO
LAZY TO LOOK AT.
>> IT IS A HUGE PROBLEM THAT
YOU CAN'T LOOK UP THE SOURCE.
>> I WROTE YOUR WIKIPEDIA
PAGE.
>> YOU SAW INTO THE FUTURE.
>> NOW YOU CAN PROVE THIS AND
WE WILL EDIT IT OUT.
AFRICAN-AMERICAN ORGANIZATIONS
ARE PROTESTING THE USE OF RACE
IN DESCRIPTIONS OF SUSPECTS BY
CAMPUS POLICE.
THEY WROTE IN A LETTER TO YOU
HAVE THE OFFICIALS, QUOTE,
EFFORTS TO REDUCE CRIME SHOULD
NEVER BE AT THE EXPENSE OF OUR
BLACK MEN OR ANY GROUP OF
PEOPLE LIKELY TO BE TARGETED.
THE PRESIDENT OF THE
UNIVERSITY BLACK MEN'S FORUM
SAYS MEMBERS OF THE GROUP FEEL
THREATENED WHEN CRIME ALERTS
INCLUDE A RACIAL DESCRIPTION.
A SCHOOL OFFICIAL REPLIED THAT
PROFILING WILL NOT BE
TOLERATED ON CAMPUS AND,
QUOTE, SHE BELIEVES THAT THE
MORE INFO THE POLICE SHARE
ABOUT THE SUSPECT, THE
BETTER.
DO THESE GROUPS HAVE A RIGHT
TO BE ANGRY WHEN THEY USE
RACIAL DESCRIPTIONS?
>> NO.
IT IS CRIME AND IT IS ABOUT
THE SAFETY OF THE CAMPUS AND
IT IS AN INSTITUTION YOU ARE
AT.
WOULDN'T YOU WANT TO FEEL
SAFE?
RACIAL PROFILING IS HOW YOU
FIND THE CRIMINALS.
>> BUT I DON'T EVEN CALL THIS
RACIAL PROFILING.
>> IT IS CALLED A SCREPTION.
>> AND YOU HAVE TO -- IT IS
CALLED A DESCRIPTION.
>> I AM A SHORT GUY.
SHOULD I BE UPSET THAT
EVERYBODY IS THE AVERAGE
HEIGHT?
>> I CAN TELL YOU A TALE OF
TWO.
A COUPLE WEEKS AGO I WAS
WATCHING NEW YORK 1.
THEY HAD SOMETHING THAT HAD
DONE SOMETHING BAD IN BROOKE
11.
IT IS ALL ABOUT MEETINGS AND
UNION MEETINGS AND STUFF.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHY I WATCH
IT.
A GUY WAS ON THE LOOSE AND
ATTACKED SOMEBODY.
THE DESCRIPTION THEY GAVE WAS
5 FOOT 8 AND A HOODED
SWEATSHIRT AND JEANS.
THAT WAS IT.
MEANWHILE, SOMEBODY MAYBE LAST
WEEKEND IN THE WEST VILLAGE
WAS SUSPECTED OF PUBLIC
URINATION AND IT IS A SELLED
LOW FERS AND A TIE ON AND A
BLUE SWEATER.
IN THAT CASE WE CAN GIVE THE
DEETS.
>> SORRY ABOUT THAT.
YOU SHOULD HAVE GONE BEFORE
YOU LEFT.
>> FAIR POINT.
>> YES, IT WAS. GAVIN, I AM
GOING TO YOU TERRIFIED.
JIM NORTON MADE THIS POINT ON
TWITTER, THE TITLE OF THE
GROUPS THAT ARE MAD HAVE THE
WORD BLACK IN THEM.
IF THE GROUPS HAVE THE NAME
BLACK IN THEM HOW CAN THE
DESCRIPTIONS BE RACIST?
>> ON THIS CRUSADE TO END
RACISM , WE HAVE BEEN
SCREAMING WITH THE TORCHES AND
CHASING FRANKENSTEIN AND COME
UP AGAINST THIS BRICK WALL
CALLED REALITY.
THEY HAD A WOMAN SAYING NO ONE
AT MAYO GO CLASS IS -- AT MY
YOGA CLASS IS BLACK AND I AM
NOT OKAY WITH THAT.
IS SWIMMING RACIST?
STUDENTS AT UCLA WERE ALMOST
LYNCHING THIS PROF BECAUSE HE
WAS CHECKING SPELLING AND
GRAMMAR AND GOT BAD GRADES.
YOU HAVE STUDENTS AT THE
UNIVERSITY OF MICHIGAN
THREATENING PHYSICAL HARM IF
THE SCHOOL DOESN'T GET MORE
DIVERSE.
>> I THINK WHAT THEY SAID WAS
NOT PHYSICAL HARM.
THEY SAID ACTION.
>> PHYSICAL ACTION.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN?
>> ANDY, THOUGHTS?
>> NONE.
I WILL OFFER A BIT OF EMPATHY
FOR THE BLACK STUDENTS.
>> THAT'S GOOD.
>> I IMAGINE IT WOULD BE SUCK
TO BE A BLACK MALE ON THAT
CAMPUS WHEN A CRIME ALERT GOES
OUT WHEN THE SUSPECT IS A
BLACK MALE.
>> WELL GET MAD AT THE
CRIMINAL.
>> I COMPLETELY AGREE.
THERE WERE STUDENTS TALKING
ABOUT THE FACT THEY HAD BEEN
STOPPED BY THE COPS MULTIPLE
TIMES ON THE SAME DAY.
UNFORTUNATELY NOT REPORTING
THE RACE OF THE SUSPECT IS NOT
THE ANSWER.
THE ANSWER IS YOU DON'T REPORT
THE RACE AND YOU DON'T REPORT
THE GENDER. EVEN SPECIES IS A
PROBLEM.
I JUST THINK YOU SAY SOMETHING
SOMETHING ROBBED A STORE.
>> A LAW BREAKING ENTITY IS ON
THE LOOSE.
>> IF YOU ARE BLACK AND YOU
GET ON THE ELEVATOR AND A
WOMAN GOES LIKE THAT WITH THE
PURSE.
YOU DON'T SAY I AM NOT GOING
TO ROB YOU.
YOU SAY, JERK, YOU ARE GIVING
ME A BAD REP AND NOW EVERYONE
IS CLUTCHING THE PURSE.
WHY IS SHE THE BAD GUY?
>> BLACK PEOPLE REPORT THE
ONLY ONES THAT ROB PEOPLE.
>> I UNDERSTAND.
THE CRIMINAL RTZ BAD GUYS.
>> IF YOU FEEL BAD BECAUSE YOU
LOOK LIKE THE GUY WHO DID THE
ROBBING, GET MAD AT THE
ROBBER.
I AM JUST DESCRIBING HIM.
>> I AM SLOW TO SPEAK FOR THE
AFRICAN-AMERICAN COMMUNITY.
>> I AM NOT.
>> IT AFFECTS THOSE WHO ARE
ETHNICALLY AMBIGUOUS.
THEY ARE ALWAYS THE VICTIM.
>> THAT'S A GOOD WAY TO END
THE SEGMENT.
TIME TO TAKE A BREAK.
MORE STUFF WHEN WE COME BACK.
>>> THE MAYOR WHO LOVES CRACK
HAS JUSTIN'S BACK.
IT IS YET AGAIN -- WOW.
IT IS TIME FOR THE WEEKEND
EDITION OF -- SO AMERICA'S
FAVORITE MAYOR IS DEFENDING
JUSTIN BIEBER.
DURING A RADIO INTERVIEW ROB
FORD OFFERED SUPPORT TO HIS
FELLOW CANADIAN.
>> YOU KNOW WHAT, HE IS A
YOUNG GUY AT 19 YEARS OLD.
I WISH I WAS AS SUCCESSFUL AS
HE WAS.
SHE 19 YEARS OLD, GUYS.
THINK BACK TO WHEN YOU WERE
19.
>> FORD SAYS HE NEVER MET
BIEBER AND ISN'T A FAN OF HIS
MUSIC.
HE IS MORE OF A LED-ZEPLIN
KIND OF GUY.
THAT'S BECAUSE HE LOOKS LIKE
ONE.
A LITTLE WEIGHT JOKE THERE.
HE GO THE SENATOR'S THOUGHTS
ON DEPORTING BIEBER.
>> FROM THE LITTLE BIT I READ
IT SOUNDS LIKE HE HAS A LOT OF
PROBLEMS.
I HOPE HE GETS HELP FOR IT OR
HE WILL WIND UP IN A BAD, BAD
PLACE.
>> JOANNE, YOU ARE OFTEN
ENAMORED OF YOUNG POP STARS,
YOUNGER THAN YOU.
WE HEARD OF MANY AND IT NEVER
ENDED WELL WITH YOU.
>> THANKS FOR REMINDING ME.
>> IF YOU WERE IN BIEBER'S
CIRCLE AT THIS POINT, WOULD
THIS MAKE YOU HAPPY THAT FORD
IS OKAY?
>> YES.
HE WANTS BIEBER TO BE A PART
OF HIS REALITY SHOW.
SO IT IS MORE MONEY FOR HIS
CIRCLE. IT IS A GOOD THING TO
HAVE FORD ON YOUR SIDE.
>> I WOULD WANT FORD TO BE MY
ATTORNEY AT TRIAL IF NEED BE.
HE WOULD BE LIKE, I WOKE UP
WITH A MOUND OF COKE AND THREE
DEAD BODIES, COME ON, THINGS
HAPPEN.
IT CHANGES THE PERCEPTION OF
THE JURY AND BAM.
>> ANOTHER AMAZING IMPRESSION
BY YOU.
IT WAS LEAK I WAS THERE IN THE
PRESENCE OF MAYOR FORD.
IS THAT THE IMPRESSION YOU USE
FOR EVERYBODY?
MOTHER THERESA?
OH HEY.
GAVIN, SHOULD BIEBER -- CONT
HE REBEL -- SHOULDN'T HE REBEL
AGAINST FORD AND BECOME AN
UPSTANDING CITIZEN?
>> THAT WOULD BLOW SOME
MINDS.
>> I DON'T KNOW.
I DON'T WANT TO CRITICIZE THE
STORY, BUT IT IS AMAZING THAT
WE SPEND AND NOT JUST THIS
SHOW, BUT EVERYONE AT WORK IS
TALKING ABOUT IT.
SOME GUY SHOWS HIS PICTURE ON
HIS PHONE ABOUT HOW MILEY
LOOKS LIKE BIEBER AND HE SAID,
YEAH, THEY ARE BOTH TOTAL
IDIOTS.
DUDE, YOU ARE 35 YEARS OLD.
MY DAD WOULD NEVER SAY, THAT
BLOODY KID DID IT AGAIN.
I AM GOING TO RIP OUT MY TIGER
BEAT MAGAZINE.
DAVID CASSIDY IS A BLOODY --
MY DAD DIDN'T KNOW WHO THESE
PEOPLE WERE.
ALL ADULTS KNOW JUSTIN.
>> THAT GOES BACK TO MY POINT
ABOUT POP CULTURE HAS COVERED
EVERYTHING.
MY MOTHER WHO IS 89 AND KNOWS
WHO JUSTIN BIEBER IS SADLY.
>> AND IT IS THE CHICKEN OR
THE EGG THING TOO.
HE DOES HAVE INFLUENCE.
HE IS THE NUMBER ONE MOST
LOOKED AT THING ON YOUTUBE.
SO THIS GUY IS AFFECTING
HUNDREDS OF MILLIONS OF LITTLE
KIDS' LIVES.
SO IT DOES MAKE SENSE TO TALK
ABOUT IT.
>> HE JUST CONTRIDICTED
EVERYTHING HE SAID!
>> IT IS CRAZY WE ARE TALKING
ABOUT HIM, BUT THERE IS A
MATHEMATICAL EMPIRICAL
JUSTIFICATION.
>> CRAZY AND YET AWESOME.
>> EMPIRICAL OR ENORMATIVE?
>> EMPIRICAL.
>> WHAT DO YOU MAKE OF THE
CRAZINESS?
>> I THINK WHEN FORD SAYS HE
WISHES HE WAS AS SUCCESSFUL I
THINK HE WISHES HE HAD THE
ACCESS TO DRUGS AS JUSTIN
BIEBER.
HE WANTS TO DO IT MORE.
>> IF HE HAD HIS WAY HE WOULD
BE LIVING WITH BIEBER IN THAT
HOUSE AND THEY WOULD BE GOING
OUT EGGING THE NEIGHBORS
TOGETHER.
>> A GREAT REALITY SHOW.
>> CAN YOU IMAGINE ROB FORD
EGGING HOUSES WITH BIEBER AND
GIGGLING.
>> WE HAVE A PICTURE OF ROB
FORD PROBABLY LOVES WHICH IS
TICKLING BY ANOTHER OLDER
MAN.
WHO HASN'T FELT THAT BEFORE?
>> I DON'T LIKE THE ROB FORD
SLAMMING.
I DIDN'T SEE THIS MOCKERY WITH
MARION BERRY.
REAL ESTATE PRICES ARE THROUGH
THE ROOF.
EVERYTHING -- THE ECONOMY IS
ROCKING THERE.
HE TOTALLY DISMANTLED THE
UNIONS.
THE ONE TIME HE WAS PUNISHED
FOR THE CRACK THING THE
AIRPORT FELL APART BECAUSE HE
WAS NOT IN CONTROL.
WHEN HE GETS IN TROUBLE THE
CITY SUFFERS.
>> A LOT OF CANADIANS LIKE
HIM.
>> ARE YOU ENDORSING CRACK?
>> CRACK IS A VERY INTENSE
DRUG.
IF YOU WANT TO SOBER UP A BIT,
SURE, HAVE A PUFF.
BUT NO.
WE USED TO DO PAM COOKING
SPRAY WHEN WE WERE WASTED IN A
PLAYS STEEK BAG.
>> I DIDN'T REALIZE FORD IS
ONLY 44 YEARS OLD.
I HAD NO IDEA.
>> THAT'S WHAT HAPPENS WHEN
YOU GAIN A LOT OF WEIGHT.
>> HE DOESN'T LOOK A DAY OVER
50.
>> HOW HAPPY CAN YOU BE?
HE IS LIKE A BIG, GIANT
PANDA.
>> THEY ARE CUTE THERE, BUT
WHEN THEY GET HUNGRY, YOU
DON'T WANT TO BE NEAR THEM.
>> HE WAS PICKING OUT A
WEDGY.
>> HE IS A WEDGE PICKER.
EVERYBODY HAS THOSE.
ONCE YOU GET TO A CERTAIN
LEVEL OF THE COMING UP, THE
LAST STORY.
>>> BRAND NEW "RED EYE"
RETURNS ON MONDAY.
WE HAVE PATTI ANN BROWNE AND
ANDREA
>> AND NOW A STORY HANNITY WAS
TOO AFRAID TO COVER.
ACCORDING TO NEW RESEARCH,
VEGETABLE RTZ MOST COMMON FOOD
CONSUMED ON SUPER BOWL
SUNDAY.
27% WILL EAT ONE VEGGIE THE
DAY OF THE BIG GAME WHILE 22%
SNACK ON CHIPS AND 18% PIZZA
AND 16% SOUP.
13% WILL CONSUME ALCOHOL AND
SOD SODOMIZE A TURTLE.
>> HOW DO THEY EVEN DO THAT?
>> THAT IS 100% OF THE PEOPLE
WHO CONSUME ALCOHOL WILL BE
SADDAM MYSELFING TOUR -- SAW
DODD MYSELFING TURTLES.
>> IS IT ONE TURTLE?
>> THE SAME TURTLE.
>> YOU KNOW, JOANNE, IS IT
SAFE TO GUESS THAT THE REASON
WHY THE NUMBER OF VEGETABLES
IS SO HIGH IS THAT WOMEN ARE
AT THESE PARTIES?
>> PEOPLE DON'T KNOW WHAT A
VEGETABLE IS.
YOUR SPINACH DIP IS NOT A
VEGETABLE.
THE CELERY AND BLUE CHEESE
DRESSING IS NOT A VEGETABLE.
THAT'S WHERE PEOPLE ARE
GETTING THE NUMBERS.
IT IS A VEGETABLE, BUT IT IS
NOT GOOD FOR YOU.
YOU THINK PEOPLE ARE BEING
HEALTHIER FOR THE SUPER BOWL.
THEY ARE NOT.
>> THEY THINK IT CANCELS OUT.
WHEN YOU STUFF YOUR FACE WITH
POUNDS AND POUNDS OF FRIED
CHICKEN WINGS AND YOU HAVE
BLUE CHEESE SMEARED OUGHT OVER
YOU LIKE MOISTURIZER AND IN
YOUR HAIR TO HOLD IT PERFECTLY
EXPRKTS REALITY IS YOU THINK
YOU EAT A FEW CELERY STALKS
AND EVERYTHING IS COOL, MY
UNDERSTANDING IS THAT THAT IS
FROM A NUTRITIONAL STANDPOINT,
FALSE.
>> IF YOU WANT TO BE ON A DIET
X THE WAY TO DO IT IS TO BE
THE BARTENDER.
YOU WON'T HAVE TIME TO TAKE A
SIP OF WATER LET ALONE DRINK
OR EAT.
>> THAT'S A FUN TIP.
>> THAT'S WHAT I WILL BE DOING
ON SUNDAY.
>> THAT SOUNDS LIKE A TIP YOU
WOULD GET FROM MAD DO MOI SELL
ON HOW TO DO A SUPERBO WL
PARTY.
>> I AM SICK OF AMERICANS
TALKING ABOUT WHAT GOES INTO
THEIR BODY.
PIG OUT.
IT IS ONE DAY.
GO BOUGH BANANAS.
>> BANANAS?
>> IT IS NOT WHAT YOU PUT IN
YOUR BODY.
IT IS WHAT YOU DO WHEN IT IS
IN YOUR BODY.
WE HAVE TO STOP TALKING ABOUT
I NEED MORE GLUTEN AND I HAD
TOO MUCH SUCTROCE.
EAT LIKE A PIG.
BOXERS HAVE CAKE FOR DINNER.
THEY HAVE 37 PANCAKES BECAUSE
THEY ARE WORKING OUT ALL DAY.
>> NOT ALL OF US CAN BE BOXERS
, ANDY.
>> WALK TO WORK.
TAKE A BIKE TO WORK.
>> I HATE TO BE THE GUY WHO
READ THIS STORY.
>> WE HAVE 45 SECONDS.
>> THE NUMBER OF PEOPLE'S
EATING HABITS ON SUPER BOWL
SUNDAY INCLUDES THE PEOPLE WHO
WATCH THE GAME AND PEOPLE WHO
DON'T.
IT IS WHAT THEY EAT ON THAT
DAY AND WHAT PEOPLE WHO WATCH
THE SUPER BOWL EATS.
>> WHO DOESN'T WATCH THE SUPER
BOWL?
>> I DON'T.
I GO SHOPPING BECAUSE THERE IS
NEVER ANY LINES WHERE I GO
SHOPPING.
>>
♪ THE LONELIEST GUY.
>> WINGS, PIZZA, CHIPS, DIP
AND THAT'S ALL YOU ARE ALLOWED
TO EAT.
THAT'S IT.
>> I WODN'T KNOW.
I WILL BE IN BED CRYING MYSELF