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Nourishing means to give water, light, air, and is like to nourish the unconscious. How?
Giving the affection mainly. The word affection comes from the Latin: AD-FERO and means to
go toward. Is what brings us toward. The child has to feel the affection. The important thing
is that the parents has to experience this love first and in a strong manner: so make
it to go out from his heart, make it to go out from the tone of the voice and make it
go out especially from the eyes. That is to say the child should see this affection. You
may say: “But he knows that I love him!” No, the child says: “how can I understand
that you love me?” He wants to see it, to feel it. If you think that he knows, it is
like a dish of pasta: he knows that is there but he cannot eat it he needs to put it inside.
If we are able to love our child, then he will be able to love himself. This is very
important. Control means to keep inside, keep inside fears. The fear of the child, is for
him, enormous, terrible. We should put it inside our heart, hold it inside, warm it,
contain it and manage it to make him feel, trough our heart and our eyes, that that fear
is not destructive. It will not destroy the world , it’s a thing that we can manage.
Nothing has happened! Everything is ok! If we feel it inside ourselves and we do not
frighten ourselves, also the child is not frightened he stays calmed. In psychoanalysis
is called: REVERIE. This should be done with the anxieties, with the anguishes, with the
fear of facing the world, of walking and also with the desire of not studying than should
be contained, held inside, because the child has to understand that this thing is fundamental
for his life. If we succeed to contain him, he will succeed in containing his fears, his
anguishes, his emotions and will succeed to manage them. Esteem. Esteem the child. We
have to feel that the child is capable, we have to esteem his capacity. How? Always in
a practical manner, by doing something. You may say: “But he knows that I esteem him!”
No, no if you don’t ask him to do something, if you do everything for him: it means that
you do not consider him, that he is not capable, that you consider him as a child too small,
an incapable one that needs of someone that do things for him. So you give to him a negative
message, the trust in himself doesn’t work, and you didn’t help him. On the contrary
help him: cook with him, ask him an opinion about a picture, look with him the motors
of the car. These are things that you can begin to understand. We see how to nourish
other things. The respect. Respect means to consider and to accept the needs of the child,
in a true relation. Respect his need of seeing the world, respect his need of someone that
listen to him, respect his Ego, consider him, talk each other. If we respect him, he will
succeed in respecting himself. Appreciation. Make him feel that he has a big value. The
quality does not depend from what he does, it’s a quality in itself. The child is a
quality per se, do not test him, no marks, no examinations. If he reach an achievement,
it appraise his personality. If he becomes able to cook, to do sports, this activate
his personality, his capacity and his quality. If we succeed in appreciating him he will
succeed in appreciating himself. The protection. The protection is fundamental and is typical
of the parents. The parents have to protect their child, like a greenhouse protect the
little plant. We take care of him when he feels bad, we put the safety belt to protect
him from a danger and particularly we are close to him in front of the television. Nowadays
too much horror film with zombies, vampires, can activate in the children to a negative
parts and to serious anguishes: is necessary that someone explain him, protect him, help
him.