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Mister Fazu?
We have the results of your exam
And?
It's possible that you have...
...you have Chronic Death Syndrome
Oh no... that's what I had feared
Well,
The symptoms include, and aren't limited to...
Death.
Oh no... death... God, no!
Father, father!
You've recieved a letter that says
that you have a spot on Survivor!
Mr. Fazu, you musn't go on the show
I doubt that you will...
"Survive!"
No, really, you're going to die.
Dad! I could go in your place!
If I took your place, I could win a million dollars!
This is the happiest day of my life!
Mulan, come back!
I don't even matter to my only daughter...
As soon as we arrived at the camp,
Shang really took control of the tribe
He has a natural ability to lead the team
I don't know what it is...
Maybe it's because of his guns...
So, if we want to defeat the Huns,
We're going to have to
make some changes
If they had sent your father,
this wouldn't be a problem, but...
No woman has ever won this competition.
So... what are you saying?
I'm not saying anything.
I'm asking...
How can I make
A man...
Out of you?
Let's get down to business!
To defeat the Huns
Did they send me daughters?
They seem like cattle.
You're the most pathetic girl I've ever met
And I won't be satisfied...
Until I make a man out of you
Calm like the forest...
But burning within
If you don't want to die,
You must find your center
You'll be ready for battle
Just like I promised to you
Soon, I will make a man out of you
We will be like a raging river
With the force of a great typhoon
All the power of a great fire,
Hidden like the dark side of...
The moon!
More, Mulan... if we don't have 500 logs
by the end of the afternoon,
We'll lose the firebuilding competition
Yes sir, I...
Aaaaahhh!! Aaaaghh!
Did you hear that? What was it?
Help! Help me! H-ahhh!
It was horrible, horrible!
There were so many!
What? What happened?
They came from the trees!
They took Jeff!
Calm down, man
Tell us exactly what happened.
The... the huns... they took Jeff Probst,
The host of the show!
But... But why?
Because they're communists!
They released me...
...so that I would deliver a message
And what is it?
It's a map! Should we go?
Well, I'm here to kick ***,
And learn Spanish.
And... I haven't really learned any Spanish.
Let's go!
Atila! This injustice will not be tolerated!
Where is Mr. Probst?
He's safe...
For now...
I challenge you to an invincibility battle!
If we win, you must return Mr. Probst to us,
And leave the island forever!
You mean like the song?
Not even a little bit like the song!
...and if I win?
In that case, our lives will be forfeit.
Ha ha. Agreed.
We will meet tomorrow, at high noon.
Goood, ahahahahahaha!
Ah... Shang... Mulan...
I didn't think you'd have the balls to show up
If we hadn't come,
We wouldn't have been able to kick your ***!
We should begin the competition.
It will be a test...
...of strength, resistance, and willpower.
We will shoot each other with cannonballs.
The first to fall loses.
In that case, retrieve the cannon!
You may shoot first.
And last!
[Loads Cannon]
You'll need more than that to defeat me!
[Loads Cannon]
Hahahahahahaha!
I promise, the next one will be the last!
Loads a banana into the cannon
Hurk!
Mulan... remember your training...
Avenge me!
[Death Rattle]
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
Atila, you cheated!
The competition is finished.
No! Fight me like a man!
Interesting line... for a woman!
***! Shoot me if you dare!
With pleasure...
Hiiiiiiiiiiiiyah! [Karate Chops Banana]
No... NO!
It's impossible!
Nothing's impossible...
For a man!
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
Now, I have a body to bury,
And a man to rescue.
Thank you master...
You have taught me much.
Mr. Probst! Mr. Probst!
Now, Jeff Probst, you are free.
Thank you Mulan...
I will never forget what you've done here.
Look behind you! What is it?
Oh my God... It's Bilasaur! (The Pokemon named after our Spanish teacher)
I never thought I'd see it...
Bilasaur?
Yes.
They say that after God flooded the Earth,
He created Bilasaur,
To show that it would never happen again
This is a magical day.
Agreed. And all thanks to you.
[Inception!]