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Your identity? Unnamed humanoid. Your objective? Collect the rings. The reason? I don’t know,
because it’s fun? If you’re looking for the humanoid’s motivation, well...this probably
isn’t a game for you. But if you’re down for a retro punch square to the face, this
ode to the old-school leaves one hell of a bruise.
It’s a right-hook of retro! It’s Crosstown for the Xbox 360.
Since it was released in 2009, you might call this an “old game” by downloadable standards.
And since it looks like it’s running on an Apple IIe, it feels even older. This is
another one of those games I like to refer to as “modern retro,” new releases that
take inspiration—in some cases, entire concepts—from bygone eras of game design.
But what makes this one unique is how genuine it feels. If you told me Crosstown is actually
an obscure late seventies arcade game, I’d have no reason to doubt you.
Unless your fingers were crossed. In which case, you’re a jerk.
So Crosstown is this weird city with 40 different levels. Evidently, in the future, cities have
levels. And it’s your job to collect four rings scattered across each of them, which
is easier said than done when you’re being chased by Neeners and Aggrogators and Dogdozers
and Bouncebacks...
What’s next? Snozzwangers and Vermicious Knids?
See, just about every level introduces a new enemy with new abilities, some of which really
force you to change your approach. In fact, things start off kind of slow, with your enemies
confined to the maze the same way you are. But it’s not long before new foes are walking
through walls, creating new ones and blowing others up. And that’s when things get really
frantic, and Crosstown shows its true colors.
In fact, in some of the later levels, you have to deal with enemies that create walls,
destroy walls, expel lasers and spawn walking explosives, all the while dodging the occasional
laser of your own, which comes back at you if it goes off the screen.
So will you rage quit? Probably. Will you swear at your television? Oh, for sure, but
in a good way. And yeah, Crosstown is infuriating...but that’s in a good way, too. Factor in its
endless mode and multiplayer, and this is actually a nice little package for such a
retro game. It even has a special ending for those of you finish the game without dying.
Good luck with that. It’s Pac-Man meets Robotron meets torture.
In a good way.