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*theme music snippet, circa season 3*
Hello, and welcome to "Is it a Good Idea to Microwave This?" I'm your host, Jory Caron.
I'm your sidekick, Riley McIlwain.
And I'm Jonathan Paula. Today, we are going through all of the donations and items we will be featuring and microwaving in season 9.
Jory: Well, not ALL of them. There are a couple of "surprise secret items"!
Riley: WHOO!
Jory: Is it hot in here, or is it just me? This is a thermometer.
Jon: Donated by FosDoNuT.
Riley: Oh, check out these little Zhu Zhu pets.
Jon: (as Zhu Zhu pet) Oh! Try me, try me, try me!
Jon: Those are donated by Janet LaCava.
Jory: An electric razor, donated by Chris Tredwell.
Jon: Oh, give me that. I'm the one with the actual beard here!
Jon: This "Back to the Future" replica time machine from part III was donated to the show by myself.
Jon: Where we're going, we don't need donations!
Riley: No, WHEN are we going? When are we going?
Jon: WHEN are we going!
Riley: We have these, uh... (shakes bag) Popcorn, donated by Gregory Davidson.
Jory: Next, we have this Harry Potter figurine and all of these candles.
Jon: AW!
Riley: Hey, guys, just Quidditch, alright? Quidditch! Just Quidditch!
*all give fake laughs*
Jon: These three cans of Reddi Whip whipped cream were donated by Darthmeg.
Jon: (to Jory) Alright, open wide!
*Jory mutters in protest*
Riley: This smoke detector right here? Charles Coy. Ready?
*Riley makes fart sound*
*Jory makes smoke detector beeping sounds*
Riley: There's smoke coming from my butt!
Jory: Evacuate the house! (makes more beeping sounds)
Riley: Don't breathe this!
Jory: These are "Twilight" figurines donated by JTGOD.
Jon: (as Bella figurine) Oh, love me, Edward, love me!
Jory: Say it, say it!
Riley: (as Edward figurine) I'm a vampire!
Jon: This absolutely piece-of-crap Flip camera was donated by our friend Grace VanDerenter.
Jory: Are you kidding? That's high-tech equipment right there.
Jon: This is one of my favorite cameras ever, man! Aw, check it out! Take a... Oh, I can't take photos with it? Alright, well, just go over there and I'll zoom in... Aw, I can't zoom in? [Beep] it!
Riley: Over here I have these STUPID Bandz! Oh, I'm sorry, SILLY Bandz, donated by Tommy.
Jory: We have a lava lamp, donated by Emmett Gordon.
Jon: Jory, haven't we already done a lava lamp in season 3?
Riley: Not in HD, 1080p widescreen, for your viewing pleasure!
Jon: Oh! Alright!
Jon: Another item donated by myself to the show- tampons! 'Cause I just, uh, have these lying around!
Riley: Wait- YOU donated that?
Jon: What? No!
Jory: Oh, that's a beautiful Christmas tree donated by a nice fan.
Jon: firetruckprime donated this Barney doll.
Jon: (in stupid-sounding Barney voice) I love you! Would you like to come back to my room and play a special game?
Riley: If you're a guy like me, you like class, like this box of wine over here.
Jon: (in snooty waiter voice) Sir, your white Zinfandel.
Riley: (snootily) Ah, yes! Mm-hmm! (sniffs wine box) Mmm... Donated by us. Mmm, yes...
Jon: Like sands through the hourglass, so are the days of our microwaves.
Riley: Next we have this fire alarm here, like, this commercial-grade school fire alarm donated by alarm997, very appropriately, if I may add.
*Jory makes obnoxious fire alarm siren noises*
Jory: Evacuate the building!
Jory: We have these magic grow turtles. When you put them in the water, they grow 600 times.
Riley: 600%!
Riley: (to Jory) No, 600%!
Jory: Yeah, that would make more sense, wouldn't it? Just like me! Ladies...
Jon: Our next donation is this beefy guy right here, the car battery to my car.
Riley: I hate that thing!
Jory: Is it supposed to be wet right there?
Jon: Yeah, it's probably battery acid. Just ignore it!
Riley: And then CIA operative Michael Yasko, Jr. happened to spare some of his smelling salts, 'cause, if any of us pass out, we could just, you know...
Riley: And then seize up and die! Thanks!
Jory: This is donated by Srotagstudios.
*Riley and Jory take turns humming Conan O'Brien's theme song*
Jon: We have these three rolls of duct tape donated by LazerDuckStudios.
Jon: Riley, here- grab this one, and let's get going on Jory!
Jory: Uh, what do you mean?!
Riley: (in Old Spice commercial voice) Hello, ladies. Look at your keyboard, now back at me, now back at the monitor. Here we have Old Spice body wash donated by me. Ladies?
Jory: Just when you thought we couldn't microwave another light bulb...
Jon: Aaron Sisemore sent us this xenon bulb. It arcs in the middle!
*Jory and Riley say "it arcs" in electricity-type sounds*
Jory: Beer...
Jon: It's what's for dinner!
Jory: Tonight!
Riley: What?!
Jon: Sam Adams Light- always a good decision!
Jory: (to Riley) Not for you!
Jon: This one was donated by us.
Riley: (in exaggerated Boston accent) Beer!
Jory: It's just something I had lying around!
Jon: And that is the last item we have to show you for season 9. As Jory mentioned, there are a few surprises in store, and you'll have to wait to find out what those are, because the season starts up in just a few days on October 29th!
Until next time, I'm Riley McIlwain.
I'm Jory Caron.
I'm Jon Paula. Hope to see you then, folks! 89 00:04:28,91 --> 00:04:305,91 *end credits play*
Jory: (in Old Spice commercial voice) Does your keyboard smell like ***? It doesn't have to!
*Click on the season 6 donation video to find out why Pinkie Pie will soon pinkie-die inside Jackie!*