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ANY MAN WHO HITS MY WIFE
HE'S OUR SON.
WHY DO YOU ANSWER
I'M A PSYCHIATRIST.
"WITH HIS SELF-DEPRECATING SENSE OF HUMOR
"AND EYES THAT OFFER MORE THAN A GLIMPSE
"INTO THIS MODEST DOCTOR'S SOUL, ONE WOULD NEVER IMAGINE
"DR. ROLAND BURTON IS ONE OF THE LEADING EXPERTS
ON POST-TRAUMATIC STRESS DISORDER."
(Claudia Joy) WE WERE ALL AT LUNCH
THEY THINK IT'S AN ANEURYSM.
THIS IS NOT YOUR OPPORTUNITY TO REPLACE ME, CLAUDIA JOY.
LENORE IS SPREADING A RUMOR ABOUT YOU.
SHE GOT KICKED OUT OF HARVARD.
I WAS CRAMMING ONE NIGHT, SEVEN STRAIGHT HOURS.
I GOT IN MY CAR AROUND 3:00 A.M.
IT WAS JUST A SECOND WHEN MY EYES CLOSED.
CLAUDIA JOY KILLED SOMEONE.
(Michael) GENERAL GRAYSON, MRS. GRAYSON,
IT'S AN HONOR TO HAVE YOU HERE.
PLEASE ALLOW ME TO INTRODUCE
A PLEASURE, COLONEL.
GENERAL, MA'AM.
THIS IS MY HUSBAND DR. ROLAND BURTON.
ROLAND'S A LEADING EXPERT ON POST-TRAUMATIC STRESS DISORDER.
DIDN'T I READ ABOUT YOU IN "NATIONAL DISPATCH"?
YOU REMEMBER, HUGH, THAT ARTICLE I SHOWED YOU ON P.T.S.D.?
I DO. EXCELLENT WORK, DOCTOR.
YOU BET.
SHALL WE GO?
MAJOR FRANK SHERWOOD--
RESCUED FROM THAT DOWNED BLACK HAWK IN IRAQ.
HIS SON IS IN BASIC AT FORT BENNING.
MAJOR SHERWOOD.
GLAD TO HAVE YOU BACK HOME.
THANK YOU, SIR.
HOW'S YOUR SON DOING? FORT BENNING, ISN'T IT?
THAT'S CORRECT, SIR.
WHAT'S HIS SPECIALTY?
INFANTRY, SIR.
CHIP OFF THE OLD BLOCK, HUH, MAJOR?
YES, SIR.
WHY DO YOU THINK THE GRAYSONS ARE HERE?
WELL, HE SAID ROUTINE POST INSPECTION.
BUT YOU'RE RIGHT. WITH BAKER ILL, THE TIMING IS ODD.
GENERAL.
(chuckles) I HOPE YOU'RE SAVING ROOM FOR PRALINES.
NOW HOW DID YOU KNOW THAT PRALINES
A GENERAL'S WIFE HAS TO HAVE HER SOURCES, DOESN'T SHE?
OH, ISN'T THAT THE TRUTH? (laughs)
I APPRECIATE YOUR THOUGHTFULNESS, MRS. BAKER,
BUT I DOUBT THAT MY WAISTLINE WILL.
(laughs)
MAY I EXCUSE MYSELF?
SURE.
OH, I'M SO SORRY GENERAL BAKER COULDN'T BE HERE TONIGHT.
IT'S MY FAULT ENTIRELY.
HE WANTED TO LEAVE THE HOSPITAL,
BUT I INSISTED HE STAY AND GET HIS REST.
WELL, WE'RE LOOKING FORWARD TO SEEING HIM TOMORROW.
CERTAINLY.
OKAY.
VICTORIA, I BELIEVE CLAUDIA JOY HAS A FEW THINGS
(Victoria) OH, GOOD.
(Michael speaks indistinctly)
OW!
SIT STILL.
CAN THIS NOT WAIT UNTIL TOMORROW?
NO. GENERAL GRAYSON COULD DROP BY AT ANY MINUTE.
YOU HAVE TO BE PREPARED.
WHEN'S THE LAST TIME YOU WASHED YOUR HAIR?
JUST BEFORE I HAD BRAIN SURGERY.
YOU COULD AT LEAST USE A COMB.
LENORE, WILL YOU P--
LOOK, WE HAVE WORKED TOO LONG AND TOO HARD TO GET THIS POST.
WE'RE NOT GONNA LET IT SLIP THROUGH OUR FINGERS.
YOU SHOULD HAVE SEEN MICHAEL HOLDEN
WORKING THE GENERAL TONIGHT.
NOW LOOK, I'LL DO MY PART.
I'LL WIN VICTORIA OVER, BUT YOU HAVE TO CONVINCE THE GENERAL
THAT YOUR ANEURYSM WAS JUST A-A MINOR SETBACK...
(chuckles)
AND THAT YOU'RE READY TO GO BACK TO WORK,
BETTER THAN EVER.
I'M TIRED, LENI.
WELL, YOU'LL FEEL BETTER IN THE MORNING.
I MEAN I'M TIRED OF ALL THIS, THE ARMY.
SOMETIMES...
I THINK I JUST DON'T GIVE A DAMN ANYMORE.
(telephone rings)
SERGEANT POLARSKI'S RESIDENCE.
MARILYN, IT'S LENORE BAKER.
AM I CATCHING YOU AT A BAD TIME, DEAR?
UH, NO, NO. WOW. UM...
I HEARD SOMETHING MORE TODAY FROM MY IVY LEAGUE FRIEND
ABOUT CLAUDIA JOY HOLDEN.
I'M ALL EARS.
♪♪♪
SHE DIDN'T KILL THAT PEDESTRIAN BECAUSE SHE WAS TIRED.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN? I THOUGHT SHE WAS STUDYING LATE
AND GOT IN THE CAR AND...
THAT'S WHAT CLAUDIA JOY WANTS YOU TO BELIEVE.
SHE WASN'T ALONE.
WHAT?
THERE WAS A MAN WITH HER.
(chuckles) OH, YOU'RE JOKING, RIGHT?
LET'S JUST SAY CLAUDIA JOY
DIDN'T HAVE BOTH HANDS ON THE WHEEL.
OH.
UH-HUH.
THE RUMOR IS THAT GENERAL GRAYSON ISN'T JUST HERE
FOR A ROUTINE INSPECTION,
BUT THAT THE ARMY MIGHT ACTUALLY REPLACE GENERAL BAKER.
WELL, THAT'S KIND OF KICKING A MAN WHEN HE'S DOWN, ISN'T IT?
WELL, I HEARD IT WAS ALREADY IN THE WORKS BEFORE THE ANEURYSM.
MY OPINION IS THAT OUR COMBAT READINESS
IS NOT WHAT IT NEEDS TO BE.
THE POST COULD DO BETTER.
AND MICHAEL HOLDEN WAS UNFAIRLY PASSED OVER LAST TIME.
(sighs)
WHICH MEANS YOU COULD BE STAYING ON AS DEPUTY COMMANDER.
HOW DO YOU FEEL ABOUT THAT?
WELL, WE'VE BEEN TALKING ABOUT A FAMILY, JOAN.
I KNOW.
I JUST THOUGHT THIS ASSIGNMENT WAS SUPPOSED TO BE TEMPORARY.
BUT IF YOU'RE HOLDEN'S X.O...
ROLAND, THINGS HAVE BEEN HAPPENING SO FAST.
HEY, LOOK, COLONEL HOLDEN REALLY WENT TO THE MAT FOR ME.
I OWE HIM MY CAREER.
BEING X.O., IT'S... IT'S LIKE A DREAM OPPORTUNITY.
LOOK, YOU'RE THE MOST IMPORTANT THING IN MY LIFE,
AND... I WANT YOU TO BE OKAY WITH THIS.
WELL, HOW CAN I BE UPSET
WHEN THE ARMY RECOGNIZES MY WIFE'S TALENTS?
THAT'S JUST THE TIP OF THE ICEBERG.
CLAUDIA JOY'S FATHER, THIS BIG JUDGE IN PHILLY,
(laughs)
STOP.
SUCH DRAMA. BUT GET THIS.
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED HOW AMANDA HOLDEN
DOESN'T LOOK A THING LIKE HER FATHER?
(gasps)
(Pamela) OH, NO, YOU DON'T!
HEY, GILLIGAN!
"GILLIGAN"?
DIDN'T SEE YOU.
(man) YOU GONNA MOVE YOUR CAR?
GIVE IT A REST!
WHAT'S THE BIG DEAL?
THE BIG DEAL S
THIS IS DISASTER NUMBER TEN ON MY LIST OF THINGS TODAY,
AND IT ISN'T EVEN NOON YET.
MY WATER HEATER'S BROKEN, I CAN'T FIND MY CELL PHONE,
AND NOW I GOTTA BUY FIVE BAGS OF FLOUR SO MY KIDS CAN MAKE
(horns honking)
SO ARE YOU GONNA MOVE THIS DAMN CAR,
OR ARE WE GONNA STAND HERE DOING THE HULA ALL DAY?
WHAT'S YOUR NAME?
OH! FORGET IT.
(horns honking)
YEAH, NICE HORN.
WHAT ELSE DID YOU GET FOR CHRISTMAS?
(Lenore) THIS IS MY PRIDE AND JOY.
(Victoria) IT'S ABSOLUTELY BEAUTIFUL, LENORE.
QUITE INSPIRING.
THANK YOU.
I CAN'T BELIEVE HOW MUCH YOU'VE ACCOMPLISHED
IN SUCH A SHORT PERIOD OF TIME.
WELL, I HAD HELP, OF COURSE, PLANTING IT.
THE DESIGN WAS ENTIRELY MY OWN CREATION, THOUGH.
OOH! YOU ARE A WOMAN OF MANY TALENTS.
OH... (laughs)
WHEN IT COMES TO GARDENING, I'M ALL BLACK THUMBS.
IT'S GENERAL BAKER'S INFLUENCE.
HE WANTS EVERYTHING ON POST TO SHINE TO PERFECTION...
EVEN MY NAILS.
AND IN YOUR HUSBAND'S ABSENCE,
HOW IS COLONEL HOLDEN PERFORMING?
COLONEL HOLDEN?
I THINK HE'S BEEN PERFECTLY ADEQUATE.
NO, MORE THAN ADEQUATE. COMPETENT. YEAH.
OH.
AND IS THAT GENERAL BAKER'S OPINION AS WELL?
OH, MY HUSBAND ISN'T A COMPLAINER, VICTORIA.
YOU WON'T FIND HIM NITPICKING
ABOUT CERTAIN STANDARDS THAT MIGHT BE SLIPPING.
AND CLAUDIA JOY?
I--SHE SEEMS LOVELY.
OH, A PEACH. (chuckles)
AND I WOULDN'T BELIEVE A WORD
OF WHAT'S GOING AROUND ABOUT HER.
OH, WELL, I HAVEN'T HEARD. WHAT...
YOU HAVEN'T HEARD?
I SHOULDN'T HAVE SAID ANYTHING.
OH... DON'T BE SILLY.
NOTHING ENLIVENS POST LIFE MORE THAN A LITTLE DIRT.
NOW COME ON, COME ON, GIVE.
(chuckles) WELL, NOTHING'S BEEN SUBSTANTIATED... YET.
AND I'VE ALWAYS BELIEVED THAT PEOPLE SHOULD NOT BE
HELD ACCOUNTABLE FOR WHAT THEY DID WHEN THEY WERE YOUNG.
MM-HMM.
HEY.
(Pamela) HEY. GLAD YOU COULD MAKE IT.
HEY.
YOU ARE GONNA NEED THIS.
OHH. LET ME GUESS. LENORE BAKER.
OKAY, HOW BAD?
THERE'S A NEW RUMOR GOING AROUND ABOUT YOU.
I HEARD IT AT THE HOSPITAL.
WELL, WE ALL KNOW THAT RUMORS CAN GROW.
AND THAT LENORE BAKER IS FULL OF FERTILIZER.
OKAY, PLEASE TELL ME WHAT'S GOING ON.
OKAY, UM, THE WAY THAT I HEARD IT WAS
YOU WERE RIDING SIDESADDLE WITH YOUR LAW PROFESSOR
WE ALL KNOW THE TRUTH, CLAUDIA JOY.
WE ALL KNOW IT WAS LENORE BAKER, AND I JUST SAW HER KISSING UP
TO SOME IMPORTANT-LOOKING BLONDE LADY.
VICTORIA GRAYSON, GENERAL GRAYSON'S WIFE.
WHOEVER IT WAS,
LENORE WAS ALL OVER HER LIKE FLEAS ON A HOUND.
IT IS SO OBVIOUS WHAT LENORE IS DOING.
SHE'S USING YOU TO UNDERMINE MICHAEL
SO BAKER REMAINS POST COMMANDER.
SO SERIOUSLY, WHAT DO YOU WANT TO DO HERE?
MICHAEL AND I AGREE THE ONLY WAY TO DEAL WITH A RUMOR
OH, NO. NOT IN MY WORLD. I SAY WE FIGHT FIRE WITH FIRE.
(Claudia Joy) UH, I CAN'T DO THAT.
I SHOULD LET THEM, BUT I CAN'T... AMANDA?
WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?
MOM, UM, THEY'RE SAYING THAT DAD IS NOT MY REAL FATHER.
IS THAT TRUE?
SO THAT'S IT. I MADE A TERRIBLE MISTAKE,
AND AN INNOCENT PERSON DIED BECAUSE OF IT.
BUT YOU WERE ALONE IN THE CAR?
YES.
AND LET THERE BE NO DOUBT, I AM YOUR FATHER.
HOW COME YOU DIDN'T TELL US BEFORE?
WE WANTED TO PROTECT YOU.
AND WE NEVER THOUGHT THIS WOULD BE A FACTOR IN YOUR LIVES.
SO WHY DID IT HAPPEN NOW?
(Michael sighs) WHEN YOU ACHIEVE A CERTAIN LEVEL OF SUCCESS,
THERE ARE PEOPLE WHO GET ENVIOUS,
SOMEBODY'S JEALOUS OF MOM?
(Amanda) WHO?
IT'S...
(Michael) AMANDA--
HEY, AMANDA! IT'S NOT IMPORTANT WHO IT IS.
WHAT IS IMPORTANT, AMANDA, IS AT TIMES LIKE THESE,
WE CLOSE RANKS AS A FAMILY.
WE LOVE EACH OTHER.
WE TRUST EACH OTHER, RIGHT?
AND THAT GIVES US THE STRENGTH TO GET THROUGH.
I BELIEVE IN YOU, MOM.
(Emmalin) ME, TOO.
OH, THANK YOU.
OH.
SHE HAS GONE TOO FAR.
IT'S ONE THING TO GO AFTER ME. I CAN HANDLE IT.
WHEN YOU BRING OUR DAUGHTER INTO IT, NOT OKAY.
DID YOU HEAR WHAT I SAID?
I HEARD.
WHAT IS IT?
NOTHING.
(sighs) MICHAEL...
YOU KNOW WHAT I THINK ABOUT LENORE BAKER,
AND WHAT SHE'S DONE THIS TIME IS INEXCUSABLE.
MEANING?
ME?
I DID?
YEAH, AT GENERAL BAKER'S PROMOTION CEREMONY,
WHEN I PUBLICLY DEFENDED MY HUSBAND.
YOU--THAT'S NOT DEFENDING ME. THINK ABOUT IT.
YOU DECLARED WAR WITH THE WOMAN, AND GUESS WHAT?
YOU'RE SAYING THIS IS MY FAULT NOW?
YES, THIS WHOLE THING COULD HAVE BEEN AVOIDED,
BUT YOU JUST COULDN'T RESIST FIRING THE FIRST SHOT!
I DID NOT FIRE THE FIRST SHOT, MICHAEL!
SHE DID, WHEN SHE CALLED YOU A RACIST AND TOOK AWAY
YOUR CHANCE AT A PROMOTION. DO YOU REMEMBER THAT?
I DO, I DO. BUT ALL I'M SAYING IS,
WE'RE PLAYING A VERY DANGEROUS GAME
YES, WE ARE.
AND WE SHOULDN'T BE. YOU SHOULD'VE WALKED AWAY THEN,
CLAUDIA JOY, AND WE SHOULD WALK AWAY NOW.
(telephone rings)
(heavy breathing)
(telephone ringing)
OH.
UNH-UNH.
DON'T YOU GET IT. NO. (laughing)
NO, NO, NO.
ALL RIGHT.
(ring)
(sighs)
MAJOR SHERWOOD.
YES, SIR.
I UNDERSTAND.
YES, SIR. THANK YOU, SIR.
YOU'RE DEPLOYING.
YEAH.
WE'RE ON NOTICE, ONE WEEK.
NOW...
COME ON.
IT'S NOT LIKE WE HAVEN'T BEEN THROUGH THIS BEFORE.
WHAT ABOUT OUR SON?
YOU NEED TO SEE JEREMY BEFORE YOU GO.
YOU'RE BOTH ARMY. IT'S WARTIME.
IS THIS HOW YOU WANT TO LEAVE THINGS?
(sighs)
(both laughing)
I DIDN'T HEAR IT.
WHOO!
WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT A NIGHTCAP?
UH, I'VE GOT A NIGHTCAP ALL PLANNED OUT FOR YOU ALREADY.
MM.
I WAS THINKING, UH, ICE CREAM?
OH, I WAS THINKING WHIPPED CREAM.
MM-HMM. WE CAN DO THAT. (laughs)
(laughs)
YOU WANT CARAMEL OR HOT FUDGE?
MM-HMM.
HEY, WHEN DID YOU GO TO A HOTEL?
IT WAS A FEW WEEKS AGO.
OH, WHILE I WAS AWAY?
YEAH.
SOME KIND OF DOCTORS' CONVENTION OR SOMETHING?
OR WERE YOU GETTING A LITTLE SOMETHING-SOMETHING ON THE SIDE?
I, UH...
WHO IS SHE?
THE MAGAZINE REPORTER.
NICE.
SO I'M AWAY GETTING HELP,
AND YOU'RE HERE SLEEPING WITH SOMEONE ELSE.
DO YOU LOVE HER?
NO. IT WAS A ONETIME THING.
IT JUST HAPPENED.
WHY?
WHY? AFTER EVERYTHING THAT WE'VE BEEN THROUGH TOGETHER, WHY?
IT WAS A MISTAKE.
"IT WAS A MISTAKE. IT JUST HAPPENED."
YOU SOUND LIKE EVERY CLICHé IN THE BOOK!
WHY DON'T YOU START OVER AND TELL ME THE TRUTH?
WHAT DO YOU WANT TO KNOW, JOAN?
I MEAN...
WHAT WAS SHE LIKE?
IS SHE PRETTY? SEXY?
I MEAN, WHAT WAS SHE LIKE IN BED?
NO. I'M NOT GONNA DO THIS, JOAN.
I SAID IT WAS A MISTAKE. NOW CAN'T WE JUST--
WHAT, FORGET ABOUT IT? MOVE ON?
YOU CHEATED, ROLAND.
HOW MANY TIMES DID YOU TELL ME
THAT YOU WOULD NEVER HAVE AN AFFAIR,
THAT YOU WERE NOT THAT GUY?
APPARENTLY YOU ARE THAT GUY.
OKAY. YOU WANT TO KNOW?
SHE WAS BRIGHT AND FUNNY, AND YEAH, SHE WAS SEXY.
AND WE LAUGHED, AND WE TALKED. WE HAD FUN, JOAN.
AND YOU KNOW WHY?
BECAUSE FOR ONCE IT WASN'T ABOUT THE ARMY.
IT WAS ABOUT ME, AND I WAS FLATTERED.
SO YOU SLEPT WITH HER?
AND YOU'VE JUST BEEN LYING TO ME ALL THIS TIME?
LOOK, I DIDN'T TELL YOU BECAUSE...
I DIDN'T WANT THIS TO HAPPEN.
I DIDN'T WANT YOU TO HAVE TO CARRY THIS AROUND.
WELL, AS YOU WOULD SAY, ROLAND, I'M FLATTERED.
EXCELLENT SHOOTING, MA'AM.
THANK YOU, SERGEANT.
OUTSTANDING WEAPON. SHALL WE?
OF COURSE.
I LIKE TO CHECK OUT THE LATEST ORDNANCE.
VERY IMPRESSIVE.
NOT REALLY.
MY FATHER AND GRANDFATHER WERE BOTH MILITARY.
WHILE ALL THE OTHER GIRLS WERE OUT DOING THEIR NAILS,
I WAS LEARNING HOW TO ASSEMBLE A COLT .45
(laughs)
SO TELL ME, CLAUDIA JOY, WHAT DO YOU THINK OF GENERAL BAKER?
WOW. YOU DON'T BEAT AROUND THE BUSH, DO YOU?
NEVER SAW THE POINT.
YOU SHOULD SPEAK TO MY HUSBAND ABOUT THAT.
OH, MY DEAR... (chuckles)
WE WIVES KNOW WHERE ALL THE BODIES ARE BURIED.
AND SURELY YOU KNOW MY HUSBAND IS HERE TO DETERMINE
WHETHER YOUR HUSBAND SHOULD REMAIN IN COMMAND.
SO... WHAT KIND OF A JOB WAS GENERAL BAKER DOING
BEFORE HE FELL ILL?
AS FAR AS I CAN TELL, GENERAL BAKER HAS DONE
AN EXEMPLARY JOB AS POST COMMANDER.
AND HIS WIFE, HOW DOES SHE REPRESENT FORT MARSHALL?
LENORE... IS A DEVOTED WIFE
WHO HAS GIVEN A GREAT DEAL OF HERSELF
FOR THIS POST AND THE ARMY.
GOOD. GOOD.
THAT'S MY IMPRESSION, TOO.
YOU KNOW, SOMEONE ONCE TOLD ME THAT GETTING OLDER
IS LIKE BEING PUNISHED FOR A CRIME YOU DIDN'T COMMIT.
OH... (chuckles)
(laughs)
(engine turns over)
I'VE INSTITUTED AN IMMEDIATE REVIEW
OF OUR ABILITY TO DEPLOY FORCES,
UNITS, WEAPON SYSTEM AND EQUIPMENT
VERY GOOD, COLONEL.
MAKE THAT TWO?
EXCUSE ME, MISS.
(chuckles)
YES, SIR?
YOU RAN OFF YESTERDAY BEFORE I COULD SAY GOOD-BYE.
YOU KNOW MRS. MORAN, MAJOR?
WE MET YESTERDAY.
GENERAL GRAYSON, THIS IS PAMELA MORAN.
THE BEST OF THE BEST.
YOU MUST BE VERY PROUD.
UH, I AM, SIR, YES.
(Major) I'LL JUST BE A MINUTE, SIR.
(Michael) GENERAL?
I'M THE NEW PUBLIC AFFAIRS OFFICER ON POST.
YOU BUSY LATER TODAY?
UH, WELL, MY KIDS ARE IN CAMP UNTIL 3:00.
EXCELLENT. I'LL SEE YOU AT 1400 HOURS AT THAT ADDRESS.
OR DO YOU WANT TO STAND HERE AND DO THE HULA?
UH, UM, 1400 HOURS IS FINE...
SIR.
(knock on door)
MAJOR SHERWOOD, SIR.
AMANDA.
I WAS SUPPOSED TO MEET MRS. SHERWOOD.
UM, WE WERE GONNA GO TAKE A WALK, BUT...
YEAH, MRS. SHERWOOD JUST CALLED.
SHE'S BEEN DELAYED AT THE HOSPITAL,
BUT SHE'S ON HER WAY.
(chuckles) COME ON IN.
COME ON.
HAVE A SEAT.
OH, THAT'S OKAY.
I BROUGHT SOME PICTURES TO SHOW MRS. SHERWOOD.
THEY'RE OF JEREMY AT FORT BENNING.
SO YOU'VE... YOU'VE BEEN TO SEE HIM?
YES, SIR.
WOULD YOU LIKE TO SEE THEM?
HEY, SORRY I'M LATE.
OH, NO PROBLEM.
YOU LADIES HAVE A NICE WALK.
CHECK, 1-1. CHECK.
CHECK, 1-1. CHECK.
1400 ON THE NOSE. THAT'S A GOOD SIGN.
GOOD QUESTION.
LET'S START OVER. MAJOR NED CASEY.
PAMELA MORAN. SO WHAT THE HELL IS THIS PLACE?
YEAH, ONCE.
BORED THE HELL OUT OF ME.
(chuckles) ME, TOO. I'D LIKE TO FIX THAT, BOOST MORALE.
I'M LOOKING FOR SOMEONE TO SPICE UP THE AIRWAVES
FOR AN HOUR A DAY.
ME?
NO. (laughs) I DON'T KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT RADIO.
YOU DON'T HAVE TO.
YOU KNOW HOW TO TALK. YOU PROVED THAT YESTERDAY.
YESTERDAY I WAS HAVING A REALLY BAD DAY.
NO NEED TO APOLOGIZE. I LIKE YOUR STYLE, PAMMY.
PAMELA.
IT'D BE A TRIAL RUN.
YOU READ THE NEWS,
BUT DO IT IN YOUR OWN VOICE, PUT YOUR OWN TWIST ON IT.
INTERESTED?
NOTHING.
NOPE.
YOU MIGHT HAVE HEARD THE ARMY'S ON A TIGHT BUDGET RIGHT NOW.
SO LET ME GET THIS STRAIGHT.
YOU WANT ME TO DO YOU A FAVOR
WHAT DO YOU SAY?
NO, THANKS.
(door opens)
I'M GOING TO SEE JEREMY.
OH, THANK YOU.
ALL RIGHT, NOW I CAN'T PROMISE ANYTHING, OKAY?
(door closes)
OH, LENORE, COME ON IN.
ARE WE STILL ON FOR TEA?
OH, THAT TEA TALK WAS JUST SMOKE SCREEN.
I'M THINKING WINE.
YOU ARE WICKED.
OH, YOU DON'T KNOW THE HALF OF IT. (laughs)
OH.
OH, DEAR. I HAVE TO GO SIGN FOR A FAX.
IT NEVER ENDS, DOES IT?
NEVER EVER.
I'LL BE RIGHT BACK.
WELL, THAT'S DONE. ARE WE GOOD TO GO?
VERY GOOD.
JUST LIKE THAT, A MAN OFFERS YOU YOUR OWN RADIO SHOW,
IT WAS THE NEWS. IT WASN'T MY OWN RADIO SHOW.
PAMELA MORAN ON THE AIR? YOU'D BE RUNNING THAT SHOW IN A WEEK.
WHY NOT?
BECAUSE I'VE NEVER DONE IT BEFORE, THAT'S WHY NOT.
OH, YOU'RE CHICKEN.
NO. NO.
AM NOT.
LOOK, EVERY TIME I OPEN MY MOUTH,
MM-HMM.
THAT'S ALL I DO.
PAMELA MORAN.
(groans) MARILYN POLARSKI.
I HEARD YOU HAD A VISITOR RECENTLY, A GUY NAMED SCOTT.
OH, YOU ARE SO NOT GOIN' THERE.
HONEY, I'M NOT JUST GOING, I'M ALREADY THERE.
OH, WELL, DON'T LOOK AT ME.
YEAH.
NOT HAVING PIZZA AT HOME WITH SCOTT AND THE KIDS.
EXCUSE ME? HOW WOULD YOU EVEN KNOW THAT?
OKAY, IT'S TIME TO LEAVE.
I'M GETTIN' A RASH.
OH, WELL. ANOTHER TIME THEN?
BYE.
SO YOU STILL THINK HAVING YOUR OWN MICROPHONE
TO TELL THE WORLD OFF IS A BAD THING?
OHH.
THE POTLUCK SUPPER WILL BE ON SATURDAY AT 6:00 P.M.,
SO GET THERE EARLY, BECAUSE YOU KNOW WHAT THEY SAY--
THE EARLY BIRD GETS THE WORM.
AND THE ALL-WOMEN'S BELL CHOIR
HAS COME UP WITH THE SALAD EXTRAVAGANZA...
PAMMY, COME IN!
IT'S OKAY?
SOUNDPROOF. TALK AWAY.
OKAY, WELL, FIRST THING, IT'S PAMELA, NOT PAMMY. OKAY?
AND SECOND THING, IF THIS THING WORKS OUT,
I'M GONNA NEED CHILDCARE ALLOWANCE AND GAS MONEY.
ANYTHING ELSE?
YES. I WILL READ YOUR NEWS, BUT I WANT MY OWN SHOW
WHERE PEOPLE CAN CALL IN AND TALK ABOUT THE DAY-TO-DAY
THE ARMY HAS RULES.
I GET THAT. I WILL STAY WITHIN THE RULES.
BUT WE NEED OUR OWN OUTLET, AND RIGHT NOW,
I DON'T KNOW. THAT'S--
ALL RIGHT, WELL, THAT'S THE DEAL,
(man) NOW THE "BINGO" OF BINGO NIGHT IS NOW BUNCO.
SO THAT MAKES IT NOW "BUNCO NIGHT."
"BUT WHAT KIND OF A GAME IS BUNCO ANYWAY?" YOU MAY ASK.
WELL, I'M GLAD YOU DID, BECAUSE IT HAS SOMETHING TO DO
TAKE IT.
IT'S SIMPLY OFF THE HIZZY.
BACK TO YOU, FRED. UM. OH, WE STILL HAVE TIME? OKAY.
(men shouting indistinctly, whistle blows)
COME ON! COME ON! MOVE--MOVE IT! MOVE IT!
(whistle blows)
(man) YOUR MAMAS AREN'T HERE TO TAKE CARE OF YOU.
MOVE IT UP IN THE BACK THERE. LET'S GO! PICK IT UP!
ONE, TWO, THREE.
ONE, TWO, THREE.
(man) DROP YOUR PACK!
(man) ...TWO, THREE!
ONE, TWO, THREE!
ALL RIGHT, MEN, AT EASE.
(men shouting indistinctly)
(man) GET DOWN ON THE GROUND.
SHERWOOD, FALL OUT
(men shouting indistinctly)
(man) HERE WE GO! COME ON.
(man shouting indistinctly)
AFTERNOON, SIR.
(indistinct shouting continues)
I'VE BEEN DRIVING FOR HOURS
TRYING TO MAKE SENSE OF THIS WHOLE THING.
DON'T RIGHT INTERRUPT ME.
AND I HAVE JUST ONE QUESTION FOR YOU.
WHY?
WHY WOULD YOU EVER HIT YOUR MOTHER?
I DON'T KNOW, SIR.
THAT'S NOT GOOD ENOUGH, BOY.
THAT'S THE SAME QUESTION I ASK MYSELF EVERY DAY,
AND I NEVER GET AN ANSWER.
SHE DIDN'T DO ANYTHING WRONG. I WAS JUST ANGRY.
ANGRY ABOUT WHAT?
I DON'T KNOW.
I JUST FELT SO MUCH PRESSURE, SIR.
JUST... PRESSURE.
PRESSURE? EVERYONE FEELS PRESSURE. THAT'S NO EXCUSE.
BOY, I'LL TELL YOU ONE THING, IF I HAD BEEN HERE,
YOU WOULD NEVER HAVE HIT YOUR MOTHER.
I KNOW THAT, SIR.
(man shouts indistinctly)
WELL, THAT'S IT, ISN'T IT?
I WASN'T HERE.
I WASN'T AROUND ENOUGH TO TEACH YOU THE THINGS
YOU'VE BEEN A GOOD FATHER, SIR. THIS IS MY FAULT.
NO. NO, YOU WERE ANGRY WITH ME,
AND YOUR MOTHER BECAME THE TARGET.
IT WAS WRONG. I KNOW THAT.
STOP CALLING ME "SIR."
I'M YOUR FATHER.
NOW CARRY ON, SON.
(man) LET'S GO! LET'S GO!
(men shouting indistinctly)
I'M SORRY.
ME, TOO.
I SHOULDN'T HAVE PUT IT ON YOU LAST NIGHT. IT WAS UNFAIR.
BUT IT WAS ACCURATE.
YOU ASKED ME NOT TO SPEAK TO LENORE BAKER,
AND I DID ANYWAY.
THEN YOU WOULDN'T BE THE WOMAN I FELL IN LOVE WITH
AND HAVE STAYED IN LOVE WITH FOR 18 YEARS.
OH, YOU STILL USING THAT OLD LINE, HUH?
STILL WORK?
EVERY TIME.
MM.
(man) ELSEWHERE SMALL CRAFT WARNINGS
ARE STILL IN EFFECT FOR LOCAL HARBORS.
BOATERS SHOULD TAKE EXTRA CAUTION
IN VENTURING OUT FOR PLEASURE...
WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN?
WE'RE GONNA BE LATE.
UH, FOR WHAT?
FAREWELL DINNER FOR GENERAL GRAYSON. DID YOU FORGET?
NO, I JUST FIGURED YOU'D RATHER GO ALONE.
ALONE? NO.
ROLAND, YOU'RE MY HUSBAND.
LOOK, I'M STILL UPSET,
BUT I KNOW HOW HARD IT'S BEEN ON YOU
WITH ME BEING GONE FOR TWO YEARS.
I KNOW THAT I WAS MESSED UP WHEN I CAME HOME.
JOAN, I--
WAIT, LET ME FINISH. I WANT THIS MARRIAGE TO WORK.
I AM WILLING TO PUT THIS INCIDENT BEHIND US.
I KNOW IT'S NOT GONNA BE EASY, BUT WE'RE WORTH IT.
UM--
WE ARE WORTH IT. WE ARE WORTH FIGHTING FOR.
SO LOOK, WHY DON'T YOU JUST GO UPSTAIRS AND GET CHANGED
I CAN'T DO THIS, JOAN.
JUST GO OUT AND MAKE SMALL TALK, ACT LIKE EVERYTHING'S OKAY.
ROLAND, I SAID WE COULD WORK THIS OUT.
AND WHAT I CAME HOME TO TELL YOU
IS THAT I'M NOT SO SURE THAT WE CAN.
I'VE BEEN THINKING, TOO.
AND YOU'RE RIGHT, JOAN, I'M NOT THAT GUY.
WHEN I MARRIED YOU, I MADE A COMMITMENT,
AND I BROKE IT.
AND I'VE BEEN ASKING MYSELF WHY.
WHY WAS I OPEN TO HAVING AN AFFAIR?
IT'S BECAUSE I'VE BEEN AVOIDING THE TRUTH, JOAN.
I HAVEN'T BEEN HAPPY IN THIS MARRIAGE FOR A WHILE--
AND NOW--JUST PLEASE--
AND NOW WITH YOU AND YOUR LIFE GOING IN ONE WAY
AND MINE GOING ANOTHER, HONESTLY, I DON'T KNOW
WHAT WE HAVE TO OFFER EACH OTHER ANYMORE.
I THOUGHT WE WERE BACK TO THE WAY IT WAS, ROLAND.
NO, NO. I THINK WE SHOULD SEPARATE.
SEPARATE?
YEAH.
LET'S NOT MAKE ANY HASTY DECISIONS.
IT'S NOT. I'M SORRY, JOAN.
I'M GONNA STAY IN A HOTEL TONIGHT.
ROLAND? ROLAND!
I'M SORRY.
(soft piano jazz playing)
(indistinct conversations)
(Victoria) AND THE CHILDREN WERE SO EXCITED...
(laughs) ALL DUE RESPECT, SIR,
UH, YOU MIGHT BE RIGHT.
FRANK, HE DID OUTRANK YOU,
SO I'M PRETTY CERTAIN IT WAS YOU WHO HAD THE PROBLEM.
I STILL GOT A SCAR FROM IT...
WHAT'S THE SCOOP ON, UH, POST COMMANDER?
IS THE EVIL EMPIRE WINNING?
UH, MICHAEL THINKS SO.
MM.
AND?
WELL, HE WOULDN'T TELL ME EXACTLY WHAT THEY SAID,
BUT I THINK WE HAVE OUR FAMILY BACK.
OH, DENISE, THAT'S WONDERFUL. I'M SO HAPPY FOR YOU.
THANK YOU. ME, TOO. (chuckles)
EVERYTHING ALL RIGHT, BURTON?
PERFECTLY FINE, SIR.
WHERE'S ROLAND?
HE WASN'T FEELING WELL, SIR.
SORRY TO HEAR THAT.
THERE YOU ARE.
YOU CAN'T ESCAPE ME, GENERAL.
MRS. BAKER, THOSE PRALINES ARE OUT OF THIS WORLD.
I TOLD YOU. ALL THE GOOD FOOD COMES FROM CHARLESTON.
YOU'RE MAKING A BELIEVER OUT OF ME.
NOW I DON'T WANT TO PRESUME,
BUT I KNOW IF GENERAL BAKER WERE HERE THIS EVENING,
WHAT'S THAT?
YOU CAN COUNT ON HIM FOR SUPPORT.
SUPPORT FOR WHAT?
ONE OF YOUR FAVORITE PROJECTS, OF COURSE.
PROJECT WINDFALL.
HOW DO YOU KNOW ABOUT WINDFALL?
OH, WE HAVE OUR WAYS. (chuckles)
IS EVERYTHING OKAY, GENERAL?
EXCUSE ME.
(music continues)
WHAT'S GOING ON?
I DON'T KNOW.
EXCUSE ME, MA'AM, WOULD YOU COME WITH US, PLEASE?
WHAT?
MA'AM, THIS WAY, PLEASE.
WE DON'T WANT TO USE FORCE.
EXCUSE ME.
YEAH.
(mouths words)
WOULD SOMEBODY PLEASE TELL ME WHAT THIS IS ABOUT?
I AM THE WIFE OF GENERAL THEODORE BAKER.
I WILL NOT SIT DOWN!
NOT UNTIL YOU EXPLAIN TO ME WHY I WAS HUMILIATED
AND BROUGHT TO THIS PLACE LIKE SOME COMMON CRIMINAL.
HOW DID YOU LEARN ABOUT PROJECT WINDFALL?
I DON'T NEED TO TELL YOU THAT.
ACTUALLY, YOU DO. IT'S HIGHLY CLASSIFIED INFORMATION,
AND YOUR KNOWLEDGE AND OPEN DISCUSSION OF IT
CONSTITUTES A BREACH OF NATIONAL SECURITY.
VICTORIA! HI.
LOVE YOUR GARDENIAS.
THANK YOU. I THOUGHT YOU'D LEFT.
OH.
YOU MAY NOT KNOW THIS, BUT SEVERAL YEARS AGO,
YOUR HUSBAND DID GENERAL GRAYSON
A GREAT SERVICE IN THE FIELD IN KOSOVO.
NO. NO, MICHAEL'S NEVER SAID ANYTHING.
THAT DOESN'T SURPRISE ME.
WE NEVER UNDERSTOOD WHY GENERAL BAKER
GOT THE NOD HERE INSTEAD OF MICHAEL.
BUT THAT MISTAKE HAS BEEN RECTIFIED.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN?
WELL, I SIMPLY LET LENORE BAKER'S
WORST INSTINCTS PLAY THEMSELVES OUT.
YOU TOLD LENORE CLASSIFIED INFORMATION?
OH, NO, NO, NO, NO. I DIDN'T TELL HER ANYTHING.
SHE LOOKED AT A FILE INSIDE MY HUSBAND'S BRIEFCASE.
BUT IF SHE ADMITS IT,
MY HUSBAND WILL DENY EVER HAVING HAD SUCH A FILE.
REALLY? WHY?
BECAUSE HE DIDN'T.
I MADE THE FILE AND PUT IT THERE.
PROJECT WINDFALL WAS A WEAPONS PROGRAM
THAT WAS ABORTED TWO YEARS AGO.
THE ONLY REASON I KNOW ABOUT IT
IS BECAUSE MY HUSBAND TALKS IN HIS SLEEP.
I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO SAY.
DON'T SAY ANYTHING.
IF I WERE YOU, I WOULD BE ON MY WAY TO A SPA
FOR A CHEMICAL PEEL AND A FULL BODY MASSAGE.
BUT THAT'S ME.
YOU TAKE GOOD CARE OF THAT HUSBAND OF YOURS.
AND NOW FOR THAT GOOD-BYE.
(chuckles)
(chuckles)
AND THE HIGH SCHOOL SENIORS WILL BE WASHING CARS
AT THE CORNER OF WILSON AND JESSOP DRIVE
STARTING AT 2:00.
SO CAR WASH, PEOPLE. GO.
OKAY.
UH, SO MUCH FOR ANNOUNCEMENTS.
NOW FOR A LITTLE CALL-IN SEGMENT
THAT I'M CALLING "HAVE AT IT, WITH PAMELA MORAN,"
WHERE WE TALK ABOUT US, THE ARMY WIVES,
AND WHAT WE GO THROUGH...
LIKE HOW IT FEELS
TO BE A SINGLE MOM,
EVEN WHEN YOU'RE MARRIED.
OR BETTER YET, WHAT IT FEELS LIKE TO BE THE MISTRESS,
'CAUSE THE ARMY IS THE WIFE,
AND SOMETIMES THAT *** GETS ALL THE ATTENTION.
(laughs)
YOU KNOW, THEY SAY, "MISSION FIRST, PEOPLE ALWAYS,"
BUT THAT'S CRAP.
AND WHAT THE HELL DOES THAT MEAN, ANYWAY?
BECAUSE... THE ARMY COMES FIRST,
PERIOD,
AND... WE DEAL WITH IT, OR WE MOVE ON.
(woman) ♪ ANYONE... ♪
AND IT DOESN'T MATTER IF YOUR SPOUSE
WEARS SERGEANT STRIPES OR... OR A COLONEL'S EAGLE...
BECAUSE WORRYING ABOUT YOUR SOLDIER AT WARTIME
FEELS EXACTLY THE SAME.
SO FORGET RANK,
'CAUSE PEOPLE ARE JUST PEOPLE.
♪ IT'S ENOUGH FOR ME, BABY, IT'S ENOUGH ♪
AND, UH, SPEAKING...
OF WHICH,
I KNOW WE ALL LIKE TO GOSSIP,
BUT COME ON, FOLKS.
CAN WE JUST STOP ALL THE LIES AND INNUENDOES
ABOUT A CERTAIN COLONEL'S WIF?
I MEAN, WHAT THE HELL, FOLKS?
DID WE ALL LOSE DIRECTION TO THE HIGH ROAD, OR WHAT?
♪ HERE'S A LITTLE TIME ♪
♪ WE CAN BORROW ♪
♪ FORGET ALL OUR TROUBLES ♪
♪ IN THESE MOMENTS SO FEW ♪
♪ ALL WE'VE GOT RIGHT NOW ♪
♪ THE ONLY THING THAT ♪
♪ ALL THAT WE REALLY HAVE TO DO ♪
(telephone ringing)
OH!
♪ HEAVENLY DAY... ♪
UH... HI.
THIS IS "HAVE AT IT." YOU ARE ON THE AIR.
HI, MISS JANE. WHAT'S ON YOUR MIND?
Well, I'm eight months pregnant,
And I got a 2 year old, and I went to the P.X. on payday,
OH, WELL, THERE'S YOUR FIRST MISTAKE.
UNBELIEVABLE LINES ON PAYDAY. WAIT A DAY, SWEETHEART.
Yeah. Well, I had to park way in the back.
By the time I made it to the front--
That's right.
YOU KNOW, WHEN I WAS PREGNANT WITH TWINS,
I PEED MY DAMN PANTS BEFORE I GOT TO THAT FRONT DOOR.
MAYBE WE CAN SEE ABOUT GETTING SOME SPOTS RESERVED IN FRONT
Really? You think you could do that?
I CAN ASK.
I MEAN, I CAN HAVE AT IT.
♪ GOT NOTHING TO TELL YOU, I GOT NOTHIN' MUCH TO SAY ♪
(telephone ringing)
♪ ONLY I'M GLAD TO BE HERE WITH YOU ♪
♪ ON THIS HEAVENLY, HEAVENLY... ♪
HI. THIS IS "HAVE AT IT." YOU ARE ON THE AIR.
(woman) Hey, Pamela. My husband deployed two weeks ago.