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You know, there�s certainly something to be said for supporting a platform. Especially
in this world where a two-year-old device is already obsolete. It�s kinda nice to
see a game coming to DSiWare in 2013.
It�d be even nicer if it were good.
Speaking of obsolete...there�s something very 2010 about California Super Sports. It�s
kind of a throwback to the glory days of the Nintendo Wii. Back when that platform was
rolling strong, there were also a lot of developers who thought, �Meh, let�s just make a sports
minigame compilation.� This game feels like all those games.
Wrapped up into one...somehow lesser game.
So it all starts with text. Like any great game. And it tells you about how...you�re
in California, and it�s time to play sports. There are six sports to play, none of which
is a sport, per se. I mean, dodgeball? Lawn darts? Listen, if roller blading�s a sport,
every teenager who lived in 1993 was a world-class athlete.
Now, before we get to the minigames individually...some general things. First, this is a game with
many problems, but the biggest one is its controls. It�s almost like they were designed
to be as unintuitive as possible. I mean, think about Wii Sports. That game�s biggest
strength was its ease of use, its simplicity. In California Super Sports, just playing the
game is a challenge, because the controls are a mess.
And you know the worst part? Three of the games? Use the exact same controls. In croquet,
lawn darts and shuffleboard. And sometimes, it works. You have to tap the X to start your
swing, then you have to drag back to power your shot...then, you have to flick forward,
but it only works sometimes. Especially in croquet, it�s really inconsistent.
Fortunately, the other three at least control better. Target practice is a matter of just
tapping the screen, so that works great. Rollerblading is this stylus-moving minigame similar to
a game like Elite Beat Agents, only less interesting. And dodgeball...man.
Actually, dodgeball�s kind of a mess, too.
Of course, in its defense, dodgeball is also the most substantive game in the whole package.
It�s one of the only games that has anything resembling, like...action. So on that basic
level, it�s at least more interesting than the others. But the gameplay�s just a strange
series of tumbles and glitches and awful camera angles...
This isn�t even Average Joe. This is his cousin Awful Jim.
The game�s characters aren�t very good, either. They kinda look like Bratz dolls,
or something...and not in a good way. The graphics aren�t great, but...it�s a DSI
game, so there�s some leniency there. The art, on the other hand, gets no such leniency.
It feels like something you would�ve found in the bargain bin five years ago, let alone
as a brand-new release for the Nintendo DSi.
It�s one thing to do a simple minigame collection. That�s fine. But when you take a simple
minigame collection and replace multiplayer with awful controls...well, that�s another
thing entirely. California Super Sports is a fun thought, but when your best minigame
is target practice...might be time to think harder.