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- Welcome to the "Ellen DeGeneres Show,"
for many of you at home
your local news will be coming up after my show,
but until then, let's pretend that the freeways are clear,
nothing's on fire, everybody's getting along.
[laughter and applause] All right?
It's all good.
Oh, I'm so excited that you're here,
and I'm excited that Kim Kardashian West is here.
[cheers and applause] I am.
Kim, she's my friend,
she's a successful business woman,
she's a fashion icon,
she, of course, is known as the selfie queen.
Long may she reign over all Instagram.
[laughter]
Kim has a new book out,
it's made entirely of selfies.
The book, it gives people a behind the scenes look
at Kim's life, which normally you could only see
on Kim's reality show, [laughter]
or Kim's sister's reality show,
or Kim's other sister's reality show,
so, we really get a glimpse of what we wouldn't see.
Kim, she might take the most selfies,
but everybody loves to take selfies.
They're fun, they're easy to take,
but they're also...deadly.
[dramatic music]
This is true,
according to a new study,
this year more people will die
from taking selfies than shark attacks.
That's true. People are taking selfies
in dangerous places like on cliffs or next to morning tra--
like, trains that are moving.
\#WHATSTHATHORN
[laughter]
It's such a big problem
that other countries have started warning people
about the dangers of selfies.
This is absolutely real. This is not a joke.
This is a brochure on selfie safety from Russia.
This is the--the Russian police put this out.
I don't speak Russian, it's not my language,
but I think we can all figure out what they mean.
Here's the first warning right here.
[laughter]
Yep. Do not take a selfie with a tiger.
First of all, seems like Russia doesn't only have
a problem with selfies, it has a much bigger problem.
Tigers just roaming loose.
Here's another warning.
[laughter]
Don't take a selfie with your gun.
You can always remember it with this rhyme:
Don't take a photo of a gun in your face
because you might accidentally shoot yourself in the face.
[laughter]
Here's one more warning from Russia.
Don't take a selfie while climbing power lines.
[laughter]
There's something missing from this picture,
I think this is what causes it, Russian ***.
[laughter]
That's how you get up the power lines.
"That seems like a good idea."
So, I think we've learned something,
and it's: only take selfies
with lions, bazookas, and tequila.
And that concludes our safety briefing,
and now we shall all dance together.