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For me the choice was at first I think, started
out or at least in my head, just with wanting to lose weight
but along the way I think the eating disorder
became more of a coping mechanism for me in
dealing with the stress and pressure I felt.
While many people will follow diet and exercise plans at some point in their
lives, most do not develop
eating disorders. But unfortunately, that's not the case for some who are
genetically vulnerable or
at risk for a variety of other reasons. Instead of following cues from the body
and mind about hunger and health,
rigid rules about food and appearance are created,
the eating disorder takes control.
I would constantly be thinking about how I looked and how others see me and
how I couldn't eat in front of other people
and just so many of the rules that came along with
the eating disorder. Eating disorders, often associated with depression
and anxiety,
develop from a combination of biological, psychological and
socio- cultural factors.
It doesn't help to tell someone "just eat."
These disorders are serious mental illnesses that are so strong;
they can override the survival instinct. On some level I was aware that it would
lead to death.
It doesn't seem realistic
almost...like you don't really like to think about those things.
Having an eating disorder
is very lonely a lot of the times and just trying to stay afloat I guess
was really hard. Everyday life was a struggle
and I didn't know if I was ever going to recover.
Because college students are in the typical age range and undergo
significant life transitions,
they are more at risk to develop eating disorders.
Left untreated, eating disorders can interfere with the body's systems
and become chronic and even lead to death. Early identification and treatment is
crucial
and leads to better outcomes. Eating disorders
are not phases; they have the highest mortality rate of
any psychiatric condition. The hope and
courage came from thinking that
there had to be something more I think. That I think there were many times where, I didn't
that I think there were many times for
necessarily not want to be here,
but I just didn't want to be in the eating disorder. So it's just like imagining that there
had to be something else.
Here's the good news, with treatment, complete recovery is possible.
The healthy, spirited self is not gone; it's eclipsed by the power of the eating
disorder.
With help, you can restore to a healthy weight,
be grateful for your body, feel feelings,
think more realistically, connect with people who matter
and live a life of meaning. I am just coming to terms with myself, just
accepting myself and
gaining more self confidence I think.
I just want to sort of release those
worries that I have about all those doubts
and just be happy with who I am.
Right now I'm in probably the best place that I ever remember being in life.
I just got so much of my life back.