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- PREVIOUSLY ON THE REAL HOUSEWIVES OF NEW JERSEY...
- KATH, I'M SORRY. I DO WANT TO MOVE FORWARD.
- TERESA APOLOGIZED.
THAT'S A LOT OF GROWTH ON HER PART.
- TO FAMILY. - CHEERS, GUYS! CIN-CIN!
I'M LOOKING FORWARD FOR IT TO BE LIKE OLD TIMES.
- AND I WANT TO DO SOMETHING FUN WITH YOU.
I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU.
BECAUSE OF THE SITUATION OF THE PARENTS,
I AM NOT AS CLOSE TO GIA AS I SHOULD BE.
- THAT'S GOOD.
- WE'RE WITHIN A 30-DAY WINDOW.
- THAT'S GOOD, 'CAUSE I'M STARVING.
LITTLE TOWN IS BASICALLY
A CONSTRUCTION SITE AT THIS POINT,
AND BLK IS STILL NOT IN A POSITION
WHERE WE CAN TAKE MONEY FROM IT.
- YOU SAYING [bleep] IN NAPA, THAT'S WHEN I GOT PISSED OFF.
- THAT'S ALL [bleep] WATER UNDER THE BRIDGE NOW.
NO BIG DEAL.
- THE CHEATING WITH MY HUSBAND--
- WE'VE ALL SAID HURTFUL THINGS.
- THIS IS MY THING, JACQUELINE.
I REALIZE THERE'S EVIL PEOPLE OUT THERE,
AND I JUST FEEL LIKE YOU'RE ONE OF THEM.
- OH, MY GOD, I THINK SHE'S A SOCIOPATH.
- IT'S [bleep] [bleep] UP.
[upbeat music]
- LOVE ME OR HATE ME... [chuckles]
I ALWAYS SPEAK THE TRUTH.
- SEXY LIFE, LOYAL WIFE.
TAKE A PAGE FROM MY BOOK.
- HATERS ARE GONNA HATE.
[screams]
BUT I JUST LOVE, LOVE, LOVE.
- I'VE FACED MY SHARE OF CHALLENGES,
BUT I'M TOUGHER THAN I LOOK.
- IF YOU CAN'T TAKE THE HEAT,
GET OUT OF MY KITCHEN.
♪ ♪
- YOU AND ME ARE DIFFERENT.
LIKE, YOU HIT BELOW THE BELT.
- WE WERE BOTH ANGRY. I GET THAT.
- DID I HURT YOU? - YEAH.
- OKAY, HOW DID I HURT YOU?
I FEEL LIKE YOU WANT TO SAY SOMETHING,
BUT YOU'RE, LIKE, HOLDING BACK.
W-WHAT DID I DO TO YOU?
- DO YOU FEEL LIKE I WAS THERE FOR YOU?
I TRIED TO HELP YOU AS MUCH AS I COULD.
- YEAH.
- BUT I FEEL LIKE YOU DIDN'T APPRECIATE ME
TRYING TO HELP YOU.
AND THE ONE THING THAT HAD UPSET ME,
WHEN I GUESS YOU WERE TELLING YOUR FAMILY,
YOU KNOW, "INSTEAD OF BEING ON TWITTER,
WHY DOESN'T SHE WORRY ABOUT HER SON?"
DON'T IMPLY THAT THAT'S WHERE MY FOCUS IS,
BECAUSE IT'S NOT.
YOU HAVE NO IDEA WHAT I GO THROUGH WITH MY SON
ON A DAILY BASIS.
[crying] YOU HAVE NO IDEA.
- MY SON REALLY MADE ME REALIZE, YOU KNOW,
WHAT'S BULL[bleep] AND WHAT'S NOT, YOU KNOW?
- I MEAN, IS IT-- IS IT PROGRESSING?
I MEAN, ARE YOU GETTING SOMETHING DONE, OR...
- YEAH, HE'S DEFINITELY WAY BETTER THAN HE WAS,
BUT TAKE TEN STEPS FORWARD AND THREE STEPS BACK.
- WELL, I KNOW A FEW PEOPLE THAT HAVE AUTISM.
THEY DON'T HAVE IT BAD,
BUT I MEAN, THEY'RE, LIKE, SUPER SMART IN, LIKE,
A LOT OF THINGS, AND THEN, LIKE, KIND OF, LIKE,
A LITTLE OFF ON OTHER THINGS, YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN?
I HAVEN'T SEEN YOUR KID, SO I DON'T REALLY KNOW
HOW HE IS, OR, YOU KNOW?
- YEAH, EVERYBODY SEEMS TO THINK THAT WE CAN RECOVER HIM,
BUT IT'S GONNA TAKE A LOT OF WORK
AND A LOT OF PATIENCE, YOU KNOW?
- NO, ABSOLUTELY.
- I KNOW YOU HAVE PROBLEMS, YOU KNOW, WITH YOUR SON,
AND I'M SORRY, AND YOU KNOW-- I DON'T WANT YOU TO CRY.
AND NOW YOU'RE MAKING ME UPSET.
I MEAN, JACQUELINE, WE WERE FRIENDS FOR OVER TEN YEARS.
I USED TO WAKE UP, YOU WERE THE FIRST PERSON I'D TALK TO.
I--YOU WERE LIKE MY SISTER, MY BEST FRIEND...
LIKE, YOU KNOW, I REALLY LOVED YOU.
I SWEAR I WOULD NEVER, IN A MILLION YEARS,
HURT YOU, YOUR KIDS, OR YOUR HUSBAND.
I WAS UPSET, YEAH.
I WAS BLAMING YOU BECAUSE I DIDN'T TALK TO MY BROTHER.
BUT WE'RE GOING AROUND IN CIRCLES,
AND IT'S, LIKE, NOTHING'S GETTING RESOLVED.
- WHERE DO WE GO FROM HERE?
LIKE, WHAT DO WE DO?
- I JUST WANT US TO BE CIVIL.
I DON'T WANT YOU TO FEEL UNCOMFORTABLE.
I'M NOT GONNA FEEL UNCOMFORTABLE.
WHEN WE SEE EACH OTHER, LET'S SAY, "HI," YOU KNOW?
- REGARDLESS OF WHAT I'VE SAID WHEN I WAS HURT OR ANGRY,
GOING FORWARD, I'M NOT DOING ANYTHING TO HURT YOU.
I'M NOT.
- THAT'S ALL I ASK.
IF SOMETHING BOTHERS YOU, INSTEAD OF--
LIKE, 'CAUSE THEN YOU GET ANGRY AND IT BUILDS UP--
JUST TEXT ME.
- SO WE'RE AT A GOOD PLACE NOW?
- YES. - AN UNDERSTANDING?
- I-I'VE BEEN AT A GOOD PLACE.
I HOPE YOU'RE AT A GOOD PLACE.
- I'M AT A GOOD PLACE.
- I JUST WANT HER TO LEAVE ME ALONE
AND NOT TO SAY ANYTHING NEGATIVE ABOUT ME,
AND I THINK WE SHOULD JUST BOTH
BE HAPPY FOR EACH OTHER AND MOVE ON.
- I SEE YOUR HAIRS ARE ALL STILL IN PLACE...
- YEAH. - SO EVERYTHING WENT OKAY?
- HOW'S IT GOING? - SIT DOWN.
- HI. - OH, THANK YOU.
- WHAT HAPPENED UP THERE? EVERYTHING ALL RIGHT?
- YEAH, IT WAS GOOD.
- IT FEELS GOOD THAT EVERYBODY'S MADE SOME KIND OF PEACE NOW,
BUT I DON'T THINK WE COULD EVER
GET OUR RELATIONSHIP BACK TO WHERE IT WAS.
- I MADE SURE I TOLD JACQUELINE,
"STOP ABOUT THE CHEATING RUMORS."
- AND, YOU KNOW, I'M REALLY SORRY IT GOT TO THAT PLACE.
IT GOT REALLY UGLY, AND--
- I FORGOT ABOUT IT ALREADY, JACQUELINE.
I REALLY DID.
- ALL RIGHT.
- ALL RIGHT, I'LL DRINK TO THAT.
[glasses clink]
- WHAT'S UP THERE, BOSS MAN?
I HEARD YOU GOT YOUR FRIEND BACK.
YOU HAPPY YOU GOT YOUR FRIEND BACK?
- LITTLE SHORT, ITALIAN MASON, THERE.
- OH, JOE GIUDICE. [laughter]
WE HAD A NICE TALK.
I THINK THE BEST THING THAT HAPPENED
WAS THAT JACQUELINE AND I
WEREN'T ABLE TO GO ON THAT RETREAT.
CAN YOU IMAGINE IF I WAS THERE AND THERE WAS A BRAWL?
IT WOULD'VE GOT NASTY AS HELL.
- I'D HATE TO SEE YOU COME BACK ALL LUMPED UP.
[laughs]
- ANYWAY, I SAW THE EMAIL FROM THIS BICYCLE THING.
- MM-HMM. - DID YOU TALK TO THEM?
- YEAH, IT'S LIKE A REALLY UPSCALE SPIN CLASS.
AND FOR ALL THEIR NEW YORK AND NEW JERSEY GYMS,
THE WATER THEY PUT ON THE BIKE IS GONNA BE BLK.
- RIGHT NOW, I'M REALLY EXCITED ABOUT WHERE BLK IS HEADED
BECAUSE WE'RE FINALLY IN AN OFFICE,
WHICH MEANS I'M NOT FREEZING ALL DAY
AT MY GRANDMOTHER'S OLD HOUSE.
ALL RIGHT, LET'S GO TO GRANDMA'S CRAFT ROOM.
- THAT'S NOT GRANDMA'S CRAFT ROOM ANYMORE.
- IT'S KINDA HARD TO TAKE IT SERIOUSLY AS AN OFFICE
BECAUSE I USED TO, LIKE, [bleep] MY PANTS THERE,
AND LIKE-- [laughs]
AND, LIKE, OPEN CHRISTMAS PRESENTS.
DO YOU GUYS WANT TO BREAK THIS BAD BOY IN?
OUR FIRST MEETING?
WE'RE MAKING A LOT OF PROGRESS,
BUT THERE'S STILL SO MANY THINGS YOU NEED TO DO
TO MAKE SURE THE BRAND KEEPS SELLING,
AND THAT IS NOT AN EASY THING TO DO.
- YOU KNOW, RIGHT NOW,
WE'RE GETTING A LOT OF MOMENTUM WITH THE BRAND.
SO WE GOTTA MAKE ALL THIS [bleep] HAPPEN.
I'M A LITTLE CONCERNED, ACTUALLY,
BECAUSE LITTLE TOWN IS RIGHT DOWNSTAIRS FROM YOUR APARTMENT,
SO YOU GUYS ARE BASICALLY GOING TO BE LIVING
IN YOUR [bleep] RESTAURANT.
BUT YOU HAVE RESPONSIBILITIES HERE.
THIS IS LIKE YOUR WIFE. THIS BUSINESS IS YOUR WIFE.
- SO BASICALLY, LITTLE TOWN'S KINDA LIKE OUR GUMAD...
- RIGHT. - AND THIS IS OUR WIFE.
- YEAH, SO DAYTIME IS FOR THE WIVES.
NIGHTTIME IS FOR THE GIRLFRIENDS.
- NIGHTTIME'S FOR THE GIRLFRIENDS.
- RIGHT, BUT YOU GOTTA MAKE SURE THAT YOUR WIFE
IS YOUR TOP PRIORITY, BECAUSE LITTLE TOWN
WILL OPERATE JUST FINE WITHOUT YOU,
BUT BLK WILL SUFFER WITHOUT YOU.
- BLK IS OUR MAIN ***.
THE RESTAURANT?
THAT'S JUST OUR SEXY LITTLE THING ON THE SIDE
THAT WE SPEND OUR NIGHTS WITH.
FOR MY FUTURE WIFE OUT THERE.
[laughs]
I ALREADY HAVE HOW I'M GONNA CHEAT ON YOU
FIGURED OUT, WHICH IS GOOD.
- IF I GO TO [bleep] LITTLE TOWN
AND I SEE YOU SITTING THERE AT 2:00 IN THE MORNING,
I'M GONNA DRAG YOU OUT.
- WHAT ARE YOU DOING THERE AT 2:00 IN THE MORNING?
- YEAH, RIGHT. - I'M LOOKING FOR YOU.
- [screams] MILANIA!
THAT HURT.
- YA-YA-YA!
- GET HER, GET HER, GET HER. THAT'S RIGHT.
[laughter and shouting]
- WHAT WAS THAT? [laughs]
- DON'T ASK ME.
I HAVE VERY DYSFUNCTIONAL SISTERS.
- SHH.
- G, WHAT ARE YOU DOING WITH YOUR UNCLE TODAY?
- WE'RE GOING TO THIS GO-KARTING PLACE,
AND, LIKE, I GUESS HANG OUT.
- HOW LONG HAS IT BEEN SINCE YOU GUYS HUNG OUT?
- ME AND HIM HAVEN'T HAD ONE-ON-ONE TIME
SINCE, LIKE, I WAS FIVE.
- WEREN'T YOUR MOM AND HIM IN, LIKE, THIS BIG FIGHT?
- YEAH, AND THEN, LIKE, IT WORKED OUT.
LIKE, THEY WENT TO THIS, LIKE, TRUST THINGY
IN, LIKE, THE WOODS, AND I GUESS THEY--
[laughs] THEY WORKED IT OUT.
- IT'S GREAT THAT MY BROTHER'S SETTING UP THIS TIME WITH GIA.
THIS PAST YEAR, YOU KNOW,
HE'S BEEN A LITTLE DISTANT, A LITTLE COLD,
BUT EVEN THOUGH THINGS WEREN'T GOOD BETWEEN ME AND HIM,
THAT DIDN'T MEAN THAT HE NEEDED TO STOP HANGING OUT WITH GIA.
- IT'S GOOD THAT YOU GUYS ARE GETTING CLOSE.
- YEAH, IN THE BEGINNING OF THE YEAR,
WE WEREN'T CLOSE AT ALL.
LIKE, WHEN I WAS YOUNGER, I WAS IN LOVE WITH HIM.
- [shouts] - GET AWAY!
MOM! I'M NOT KIDDING!
SHE'S LIKE A FIVE-YEAR-OLD, I SWEAR.
- I'VE NEVER BEEN HERE BEFORE.
- OH, MY GOD, THEY HAVE EVERY BRA SELECTION
YOU COULD POSSIBLY THINK OF.
- I SEE. GREAT.
- THEY HAVE FAKE-BUTT ***.
I ALWAYS WANTED TO TRY ONE OF THOSE ON
AND JUST SEE WHAT IT DOES.
- GO FOR IT. [laughter]
ARE YOU GONNA ZUMBA?
- YOU KNOW ME, I DON'T LIKE TO DO THAT IN FRONT OF PEOPLE.
IT'S EMBARRASSING.
BUT TERESA AND I NOW, I FEEL LIKE WE'RE IN A GOOD PLACE.
I MEAN, WE'LL GO AND, YOU KNOW, HANG OUT.
- I--JUST A WEEK AGO, IT DIDN'T SEEM LIKE IT WOULD EVER...
- I KNOW. - COME TO THIS.
I'M HAPPY TERESA INVITED US TO HER CHARITY ZUMBA EVENT.
IT JUST MOVES THINGS ALONG IN THE RIGHT DIRECTION.
BUT I DON'T THINK THAT I'M GOING TO BE ABLE TO KEEP UP.
I HAVE TWO LEFT FEET.
- I NEED, LIKE, A BUTTON-UP PAJAMA.
SOMETHING LIKE THIS.
I NEED TO GET ACCESS TO MY...
♪ STOMACH ♪
- WHY?
- I'VE DECIDED I'M GONNA GET A TUMMY TUCK.
- ARE YOU KIDDING? YOU LOOK GREAT.
- WELL, I CAN'T WEAR A BATHING SUIT
OR, YOU KNOW, LIKE, A BIKINI OR ANYTHING.
'CAUSE, LIKE, EVEN WHEN I LOSE WEIGHT AND GET FIT,
MY BELLY BUTTON STILL SAGS.
- SO WHO'S DOING IT?
- A FRIEND OF MINE DID THE SAME PROCEDURE...
- MM-HMM. - WITH THE SAME DOCTOR
IN BEVERLY HILLS.
- WAIT, WAIT, WAIT.
I GOTTA WRAP MY HEAD AROUND ALL THIS.
[laughter]
YOU'RE GETTING A TUMMY TUCK,
AND YOU'RE GOING TO CALIFORNIA TO HAVE IT DONE?
- GOING TO CALIFORNIA.
- IS CHRIS COMING WITH YOU?
- NO, 'CAUSE HE HAS TO WATCH THE KIDS.
- WOW. YOU ARE BRAVE.
I THINK IT'S A GREAT IDEA THAT SHE GOES TO L.A.
BECAUSE SHE REALLY NEEDS A BREAK.
DAY IN, DAY OUT, TAKING CARE OF NICHOLAS.
SHE'S KIND OF PUT HERSELF ON A SHELF A LITTLE BIT
AND NOT TAKING CARE OF HER OWN NEEDS.
SO I'M EXCITED FOR HER.
HOW DOES CHRIS FEEL ABOUT YOU HAVING THE SURGERY DONE?
- HE DOESN'T THINK I NEED IT, BUT HE'S LIKE,
"IF THAT'S WHAT YOU FEEL LIKE,
YOU KNOW, YOU WANT TO DO, THEN..."
- HE'S VERY SUPPORTIVE THAT WAY.
- HE'S VERY SUPPORTIVE. - YEAH.
RICH TRIED TO TALK ME OUT OF IT FOR 20 YEARS.
- YEAH.
- BUT AFTER MY DOING MY NOSE, I'M LIKE,
I KNOW WHAT I HAD, AND NOW I KNOW WHAT I HAVE.
- IT WAS ENOUGH THAT IT MADE YOU FEEL GOOD.
- YEAH.
- I WANT TO DO THIS FOR MYSELF.
THIS IS THE YEAR, LIKE, EVERYTHING THAT I FEEL
I'M HAVING A STRUGGLE WITH, I WANT TO FIX.
I'M GETTING RID OF ALL THE BAGGAGE IN MY LIFE.
THE OTHER THING I'M GONNA DO...
- WHAT?
- I'M GOING TO DO MY NECK.
- WHAT ARE YOU GONNA DO YOUR NECK?
- LIKE--LIKE, TIGHTEN IT.
- IT'S NOT HANGING. - IT'S LIKE--
LIKE...
- WHY DO I NEED TO LOOK DOWN THERE?
NOBODY ELSE SEES IT.
- UH, DO YOU EVER RIDE YOUR HUSBAND?
I THINK IT'S BEAUTIFUL WHEN PEOPLE CAN GROW OLD GRACEFULLY.
I JUST WANT TO FIGHT IT.
- [screams]
[clatter]
- HA!
- [screams]
[screams]
[knocking]
ZIO JOE'S HERE.
HEY, YOU. - HEY, WHA--
WHAT ARE YOU DOING? - [laughs]
HI, HONEY.
- WHAT'S UP? - WHAT'S UP?
- WHERE'S GIA? SHE'S GETTING READY?
- YEAH. WHAT ARE YOU GUYS DOING?
- WE'RE GONNA GO GO-KARTING.
WHOA. - [laughs]
- SO THIS IS GOOD, YOU KNOW?
I'M LOOKING FORWARD TO HANGING OUT WITH HER,
AND, YOU KNOW, I HAVEN'T--
I HAVEN'T BEEN REALLY TOO CLOSE TO HER
IN A LONG TIME, YOU KNOW?
WHEN THINGS WERE GOOD WITH TERESA AND I,
I SPENT A LOT OF TIME WITH GIA,
BASICALLY GREW UP WITH GIA.
I KNEW EXACTLY EVERYTHING SHE WAS DOING, HER FIRST WORDS.
IT'S REALLY SAD, AS HER GODFATHER, HER UNCLE,
I DON'T KNOW WHO SHE IS.
I DON'T KNOW WHO SHE'S GROWN UP TO BE.
SO, YOU KNOW, I REALLY WANT TO SPEND SOME TIME WITH HER NOW.
LOOK AT YOU.
- EXCUSE ME, UNCLE JOE.
- WHAT'S UP, BABE?
YOU READY TO PARTY?
MAYBE I'LL TAKE YOU OUT TO A CLUB TONIGHT, ALL RIGHT?
- NO CLUBS.
YOU'RE GOING GO-KARTING. I'M JEALOUS!
HAVE FUN.
[clatter]
[gasps] OMG.
NOT THE CHANDELIER.
- SORRY!
- COMING UP NEXT...
- KIDS SAID, "YOUR UNCLE'S A MANIAC."
I BASICALLY JUST, LIKE, BROKE DOWN IN TEARS
'CAUSE I DIDN'T KNOW WHAT TO DO.
- WHAT DO YOU GUYS WANNA DO TONIGHT?
IT'S THE WEEKEND. GREG'S LAST WEEKEND.
HEY, BUDDY! - HEY, GIRLS.
LOOK AT ALL THIS BEER. HOW MANLY.
- YEAH, WE'RE BRO-ING THE [bleep] OUT.
- THERE'S ONLY SO MUCH MORE TIMES OF BRO-ING OUT
BEFORE WE CAN BRO NO MO'.
- EVERYONE LOVES ME AND WANTS TO SEE ME BEFORE I GO.
I THINK IT'S VERY NICE.
- YOU'RE NOT GONNA SEE LITTLE TOWN OPEN.
- I KNOW, I'M SAD.
AL, CAN YOU PROMISE ME YOU'LL HAVE FUN WHILE I'M GONE?
- GREG FOUND A JOB OUT IN SAN FRANCISCO.
IT'S GONNA SUCK, YOU KNOW, NOT HAVING HIM AROUND.
WHY'D YOU BRING THE DOG?
- WITH THE JUSTIN BIEBER HOODIE.
- SHE'S GONNA-- SHE'S GONNA LIVE HERE.
- WHY IS THE DOG LIVING HERE? - JUST, COME ON, HOLD HER.
- SHE'S GONNA PEE ON ALL OF YOUR STUFF.
- RELAX, RELAX, RELAX.
DELORIS, YOU WILL NOT BE MISSED.
I KNOW, LIKE, THE WAKILES WANT TO SAY GOOD-BYE.
THE GORGAS WANT TO SAY GOOD-BYE.
- ARE WE HAVING A CANCER HANG? - WHAT IS THAT?
- YOU KNOW, WHEN, LIKE, PEOPLE ARE DYING OF CANCER
AND EVERYONE WANTS TO HANG OUT WITH THEM ALL THE TIME
BECAUSE THEY'RE GONNA BE DEAD?
- THAT WAS SUCH A *** THING TO SAY.
[laughter] GOD.
- SO ALL YOU'RE GONNA BE SEEING IS THE BACK OF ME,
LIKE THIS-- PSHHH!
- HOW YOU DOING, MAN?
I WANT THE FASTEST CAR. GIVE HER THE SLOW CAR.
- WANT A SLOW ONE? - YEAH.
- OKAY. - ALL RIGHT?
- HE THINKS THAT HE'S GONNA KICK MY ***,
BUT THAT'S THE OPPOSITE.
- GIA IS BECOMING A TEENAGER, SO SHE HAS THAT ATTITUDE,
BUT THIS IS OUR OPPORTUNITY TO BOND.
WATCH OUT, GIRL.
YOU'RE GONNA GET YOUR *** WHIPPED.
- YOU'RE SO ANNOYING.
- WHERE YOU GOING?
YOU'RE NOT GETTING IN FRONT OF ME, GIRL.
OH, THAT'S CHEATING!
- GET OUT OF THE WAY.
- WHO'S THE MAN? WHO'S THE MAN?
I'M THE MAN! YES, I AM!
- OH, CRAP. UGH!
- WHERE'S GIA?
- WHOA.
- I AM THE CHAMPION.
YO... BANGIN', BABY!
YO, HOW'D YOU LIKE LOOKIN' AT MY ***, HUH?
- UH, NOT REALLY.
- ONE DAY, BABY. ONE DAY, YOU'LL BEAT ME.
- [laughs] - ONE DAY.
WHAT--YO, DO YOU-- WHA--WHAT DO YOU WANT?
YOU WANT TO EAT SOMETHING? YOU WANT PIZZA?
ALL RIGHT, GIVE HER A SLICE. SHE'LL HAVE A SLICE.
- THE RIGHT THING TO DO, AS AN UNCLE, YOU KNOW,
YOU ALWAYS LET THE KIDS WIN, BUT, MM-HMM, NOT HERE.
THE GODFATHER IN THE HOUSE. SCARFACE, YOU KNOW?
IT WAS FUN, RIGHT?
- UH-HUH.
- YOU'RE CHERISHING THESE MOMENTS.
YOU'RE GONNA REMEMBER THAT FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE, YOU KNOW?
BUT I WANT YOU TO BE, LIKE, NORMAL WITH ME.
I DON'T WANT YOU TO FEEL A DISTANCE WITH ME.
YOU JUST HAVE THAT ATTITUDE NOW, I GUESS, RIGHT?
YOU JUST GOT THAT, LIKE...
LIKE, YOU GOT THAT ATTITUDE.
YEAH, BUT I LOVE ZIA MELISSA DEARLY, BUT LIKE,
DON'T YOU FEEL, IN A WAY, THAT, LIKE,
WHEN I WAS LITTLE LITTLE,
LIKE, IT WAS DIFFERENT.
- WHAT WAS? - EVERYTHING.
LIKE, YOU USED TO COME OVER EVERY DAY.
- YOUR MOM CHANGED, I CHANGED.
PEOPLE CHANGE, IN LIFE, A LITTLE BIT.
- BUT DIDN'T YOU REALIZE,
WHEN YOU AND MY MOM WERE *** FOR TAT OR WHATEVER,
THAT DISTANCED EVERYONE?
- LIKE WHO?
- LIKE THE COUSINS, EVERYONE.
- MY RELATIONSHIP WITH GIA HAS CHANGED
BECAUSE, YOU KNOW, ONCE THE PARENTS FIGHT AND ARGUE,
IT COMES DOWN TO THE CHILDREN,
AND, YOU KNOW, THEY'RE HEARING THAT THEIR PARENTS
ARE BADMOUTHING THEIR UNCLE.
SO THE CHILD'S GONNA BELIEVE CERTAIN THINGS
BECAUSE THEY LISTEN TO THEIR PARENTS.
- YOU KNOW, LISTEN, I WOULD'VE NEVER IMAGINED
WE WOULD'VE HAD A SITUATION LIKE THAT, YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN?
IT JUST--IT-- THINGS HAPPEN, HON, YOU KNOW?
THINGS HAPPEN IN LIFE, AND--
- I KNOW YOU WERE LIKE,
"YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT'S GOING ON,"
BUT LIKE, I KNEW WHAT WAS GOING ON.
'CAUSE ME AND MY MOM, WE TELL EACH OTHER A LOT.
AND SO WHEN SHE GETS UPSET AND SHE CRIES, IT'S LIKE--
IT WOULD JUST FRUSTRATE ME TO SEE MY MOM UPSET.
- YEAH, BUT THERE'S TWO SIDES TO EVERY STORY, RIGHT?
AND SO DON'T ALWAYS LISTEN TO, LIKE, OTHER PEOPLE.
IF SOMEBODY SAYS, "LISTEN, JOE'S A BAD GUY,"
MAKE YOUR OWN ASSUMPTION.
- THE THING THAT STUCK IN MY HEAD THE MOST
WAS THE CHRISTENING,
AND YOU WERE SAYING, LIKE, CRUEL THINGS TO MY MOM,
AND I WAS RIGHT THERE, PULLING HER AWAY.
- YEAH, BUT I DIDN'T SEE YOU.
- I WAS RIGHT THERE, PULLING MY MOM AWAY.
- TERESA, DO WHAT YOU DO EVERY DAY.
JUST WALK THE [bleep] AWAY.
- STOP! - WHAT ARE YOU DOING, TERESA?
WHAT? - STOP.
- DIDN'T I SAY CONGRATULATIONS AT THE CHURCH?
[pounding table]
- NO, NO. NO, NO, NO, IT'S OKAY.
- WELL, LISTEN, WE'RE NOT ALL INNOCENT.
I'M NOT GONNA SAY I'M RIGHT,
YOUR MOM'S WRONG, YOUR DAD'S WRONG.
IT'S JUST, THINGS HAPPEN.
- BUT IT DEFINITELY WASN'T THE RIGHT PLACE AND TIME,
'CAUSE IT WAS YOUR SON'S CHRISTENING,
AND IT HURT NONNA AND NONNO THE MOST.
THEY DEFINITELY DIDN'T RAISE YOU AND MOMMY TO BE LIKE THAT.
- I REMEMBER, LIKE, WHEN I WAS 12.
I PRETTY MUCH KNEW EVERYTHING THAT WAS GOING ON.
I DID KNOW EVERYTHING THAT WAS GOING ON.
AND GIA'S, YOU KNOW, SHE'S PRETTY SMART,
AND I THINK SHE UNDERSTANDS.
I'M SURE IT BOTHERS HER,
AND, YOU KNOW, I'M SURE IT UPSETS MY BROTHER TOO.
- IT DIDN'T ONLY AFFECT,
LIKE, NONNA AND NONNO OR ANYBODY.
IT AFFECTED, LIKE, ME, 'CAUSE, LIKE,
KIDS SAID STUFF AT SCHOOL, LIKE...
"YOUR UNCLE'S A MANIAC,"
AND THEN I WOULDN'T FIGHT BACK.
SO I BASICALLY JUST, LIKE, BROKE DOWN IN TEARS
'CAUSE I DIDN'T KNOW WHAT TO DO.
♪ WAKING UP IN THE MORNING, THINKING ABOUT SO MANY THINGS ♪
♪ I JUST WISH THINGS WOULD GET BETTER ♪
[sniffling]
- AWW.
- AWW, WHY ON YOUR BIRTHDAY? [all awwing]
- WHAT? WHY ARE YOU CRYING?
- YOUR UNCLE'S NOT A MANIAC.
HE DOESN'T JUST JUMP OFF THE HANDLE FOR NO REASON.
YOU KNOW, SOMETIMES, HOW I REACT, IT'S DISGUSTING,
AND I'M GONNA BE THE FIRST ONE TO ADMIT
I'M EMBARRASSED OF MYSELF.
I DON'T WANT MY NIECES TO KNOW THEIR UNCLE THAT WAY,
AND I AM GONNA CONTROL MYSELF.
WHATEVER IT TAKES, I'M GONNA TRY IT.
- BUT LIKE, ARE YOU UNCOMFORTABLE
TALKING ABOUT THIS?
- IN WAY, YES, BECAUSE--
I WANT YOU TO LOVE ME. I WANT YOU TO KNOW I LOVE YOU.
I LOVE YOUR MOTHER. YOUR MOTHER LOVES ME.
WE'RE GOING THROUGH THIS SITUATION.
AND TO ME, I THINK WE'RE ALL RIGHT, AND THAT'S IT.
RIGHT? - RIGHT.
- SO WE HAD A NICE DAY, AND IT SHOULDN'T STOP, RIGHT?
NEXT TIME-- WE SHOULD COME BACK
WITH ANTONIA AND GINO, DRIVING.
- YEAH, THEY'LL LOVE IT.
- WE'LL BRING, LIKE, MILANIA AND GABRIELLA.
- YEAH.
- BAM!
YOU EVER NEED SOMEBODY TO TALK TO,
YOU CALL ME, ALL RIGHT? - I WILL.
- COMING UP NEXT...
- JACQUELINE CALLED ME A "SOCIOPATH"?
- YEAH. - CAN YOU DEFINE THAT WORD?
- I THINK YOU SHOULD JUST GOOGLE IT.
- WHAT IS THE MEANING OF A "SOCIOPATH"?
[ding] - CHECKING ON THAT.
- THE BUS IS SUPPOSED TO BE HERE IN TEN MINUTES.
WHERE IS DADDY?
I-IS EVERYBODY READY TO DO ZUMBA?
- I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT ZUMBA IS.
- IT'S DANCING.
- TODAY, WE'RE ALL GOING TO A ZUMBA EVENT
FOR THE NEPHCURE FOUNDATION.
THIS CHARITY'S REALLY DEAR TO MY HEART,
AND I HOPE WE RAISE A LOT OF MONEY.
JACQUELINE'S SUPPOSED TO BE HERE,
MELISSA AND ZIO JOE, KATHY.
- WHO'S KATHY?
- YOU KNOW KATHY AND RICHIE?
- NO. - THAT'S MOMMY'S COUSIN.
YOU HAVEN'T SEEN THEM IN A WHILE.
WE USED TO ALWAYS GO SWIMMING IN THEIR POOL.
- OH, MY GOD! ROSIE!
[all scream]
[laughter]
- WHEN YOU SEE 'EM, YOU'LL KNOW.
NOW THAT EVERYTHING'S GOING WELL BETWEEN ALL OF US,
THE NEXT STEP IS SPENDING MORE TIME WITH EACH OTHER.
- LAST TIME WE WERE HERE, JOE, YOU WERE IN DIAPERS.
NO. [knocking]
- HI. - [laughs]
- HI. - HI, GUYS.
- [kiss] - NOW YOU KNOW WHO RICHIE IS?
- LOOK AT HER.
- OH, YEAH. NOW SHE'S LIKE, "YEAH."
- WHAT'S UP? - HEY, GIA!
- HOW YOU DOIN'? WHAT'S GOING ON?
- HI, HONEY. OH, MY GOD, YOU GOT TALL.
JOEY DEFINITELY REACHED PUBERTY!
- LOOK AT YOU, HOW TALL YOU GOT.
YOU LOOK SO PRETTY.
- I'M, LIKE, THE SMALLEST IN MY GRADE.
- I KNOW, BUT FROM THE LAST TIME I SAW YOU,
YOU GOT TALL.
I CAN'T EVEN REMEMBER
THE LAST TIME I'VE SEEN TERESA'S KIDS.
WHEN GIA WAS BORN, WE USED TO DO A LOT TOGETHER WITH MY KIDS,
HOLIDAYS AND VACATIONS.
I MEAN, WE WERE TOGETHER EVERY WEEKEND.
IT'S HEARTBREAKING BECAUSE THE SAME THING
HAPPENED WITH TERESA AND I WHEN WE WERE GROWING UP.
WE LOST TOUCH BECAUSE OUR PARENTS WEREN'T TALKING.
SO THE DISAPPOINTING THING IS WE HAVEN'T LEARNED ANYTHING.
HELLO! LET'S WAKE UP HERE.
- ALL RIGHT! ROSIE'S DOING ZUMBA TOO?
- HOW ARE YOU? - [laughs]
- ROSIE...
- KATHY'S SISTER.
IT'S HER REAL NAME.
YOU HAVEN'T SEEN HER IN A WHILE EITHER, RIGHT?
YOU READY TO DO ZUMBA? - I GUESS.
- OH, I LIKE YOUR SNEAKERS. - OH, THANK YOU.
- [laughs] DO YOU WANT SOMETHING TO DRINK?
- I'LL HAVE A GLASS OF RED WINE.
- NOW YOU GUYS ARE MAKING ME DRINK.
GIVE ME A LITTLE BIT OF THAT [bleep].
- [laughs]
- [shouting]
- [laughs] - HEY, GIRLIES.
- [squeals] - HEY.
- HI, ANTONIA.
- MILANIA! MILANIA!
- HELLO! - HI.
- HI. - HI.
- WHEN I WAS TALKING TO GIA, I REALIZED THAT,
AS A BROTHER TO TERESA, NO MATTER WHAT,
WE'RE ALWAYS GONNA PROBABLY ARGUE OR FIGHT.
BUT I AM GONNA TRY TO KEEP THAT RELATIONSHIP
WITH MY NIECES.
THAT'S MY GOAL AS AN UNCLE.
- HI, BROTHER.
- OH, YOU GOT FOOD. BEAUTIFUL.
- YEAH. HI, HON. - HI.
- HOW ARE YOU? - OOH, FOOD.
[indistinct chatter]
- HI. - WELL, HELLO.
HOW ARE YOU?
MY GOD, YOU'RE ALMOST AS TALL AS ME.
[laughs]
OH, WOW, LOOK AT YOU. OH, MY GOSH.
YOU GOT SO BIG AND YOU GOT SO BIG.
OH, MY GOD, SO BEAUTIFUL.
- HI.
- SHE'S TALL.
WHEN THE ADULTS ARE FEUDING,
IT'S KIND OF A RIPPLE EFFECT WITH THE KIDS.
I HAVEN'T SEEN ALL THE GIRLS IN A LONG TIME.
- AND JACQUELINE WAS READING THE BOOK!
IT WAS TORTURE!
- I FELT LIKE WE WERE ALL FAMILY,
AND YOU'RE RIGHT, I SHOULDN'T HAVE DONE THAT.
- I DON'T NEED TO GET NO LESSON.
- I ALWAYS THOUGHT TERESA AND I WOULD BE FRIENDS FOREVER
AND I'D WATCH HER KIDS GROW UP.
BUT LAST YEAR,
I THINK IT WAS JUST AN UGLY TIME FOR ALL OF US,
AND I FEEL LIKE I'VE MISSED OUT ON,
YOU KNOW, SOME OF THEIR GROWING UP.
[horn honks]
- ALL RIGHT, GUYS, COME ON.
WE GOTTA GO. COME ON, GUYS.
- HOPEFULLY, I WON'T EMBARRASS YOU WITH MY ZUMBA SKILLS.
- IS IT WEIRD THAT JACQUELINE'S IN MY HOUSE?
KINDA.
BUT I HAVE TO SAY, IN ANOTHER SENSE,
IT FEELS NORMAL.
IT'S WEIRD AND NORMAL.
- HOW THE HELL ARE THEY GONNA FIT OVER THERE?
- WE'LL MOVE OVER. - ALL RIGHT, COME ON.
GET YOUR FAT *** OUT OF THE WAY.
[laughter]
- JACQUELINE, I'M GLAD YOU'RE HERE.
- [laughs]
- SO YOU HASHED THINGS OUT? - YEAH.
- LISTEN, I'M OVER THAT BULL[bleep] ANYWAY.
- BUT THE OTHER NIGHT,
JACQUELINE CALLED ME A "SOCIOPATH"?
- YEAH.
- CAN YOU DEFINE THAT WORD?
'CAUSE I'VE HEARD OF A PSYCHO ***,
BUT I'VE NEVER HEARD OF A SOCIOPATH, SO...
- I THINK YOU SHOULD JUST GOOGLE IT.
- WHAT IS THE MEANING OF A "SOCIOPATH"?
[ding] - CHECKING ON THAT.
- "A PERSON WHO LACKS A SENSE OF MORAL RESPONSIBILITY,
OFTEN ANTISOCIAL AND LACKS SOCIAL CONSCIENCE."
LIKE, WHAT THE [bleep] IS THAT?
I KNOW I'M NOT A SOCIOPATH, BUT I DON'T WANT TO GO THERE.
WE'RE MAKING PROGRESS, AND WE ARE MOVING FORWARD.
I DON'T WANT TO GO BACK TO THAT PLACE, CAPISCE?
- DOES ANYBODY REALLY CARE WHEN YOU GET CALLED A NAME?
I MEAN, I REALLY DON'T.
- YOU TOLD ME YOU DID.
YOU'RE ALL LIKE, "YOU CALLED ME NAMES."
- NO.
- YOU CALLED HER EVIL, RIGHT?
- BUT AFTER SHE CALLED ME A SOCIOPATH.
- ♪ STICKS AND STONES MAY BREAK MY BONES ♪
♪ BUT WORDS WILL NEVER HURT ME ♪
- ENOUGH OF THAT [bleep].
LISTEN, CAN YOU, LIKE, DO THE POLE ONE TIME?
- NO! ARE YOU CRAZY? - COME ON.
- YOU SON OF A ***, LET ME SEE YOU DO THE POLE.
- YAY, MILANIA.
[laughter]
- OH, HOW I MISS THE POLE.
SONS OF ***.
- ALL RIGHT, COME ON, AUDRIANA. GO, BABY.
- I DON'T KNOW HOW TO DANCE.
I'M, LIKE, THE WORST DANCER IN THE WORLD.
- HI, MATTHEW.
YOU GONNA DO ZUMBA?
[laughter] HI!
- TERESA AND JOE! - HI.
- HI, GUYS. WHAT'S UP, MAN?
- HOW YOU DOING, MICHAEL? - GOOD TO SEE YOU GUYS.
I GOT INVOLVED WITH THE NEPHCURE FOUNDATION
AFTER I MET MATTHEW AND HIS FAMILY.
HE HAS THIS RARE KIDNEY DISEASE, AND MATTHEW TOUCHED MY HEART
'CAUSE I HAVE DAUGHTERS AROUND THE SAME AGE.
I TOLD HIM HE'LL HAVE ME FOR LIFE UNTIL WE FIND A CURE.
EVERYBODY CAN ZUMBA. YOU'RE GONNA HAVE A BLAST.
ALL RIGHT, GOOD. LET'S ZUMBA, GIRLS.
[dance music]
♪ ♪
- COME ON, JACQ, I'M DANCING WITH YOU.
[laughs]
STOP TRYING TO MAKE ME DO IT.
LET ME-- [laughs]
♪ ♪
- YOU KNOW, IT WAS ONLY A FEW WEEKS AGO WHEN JOE AND JOE
WERE AT EACH OTHER'S NECKS.
AND NOW, THEY'RE DANCING TOGETHER FOR A GOOD CAUSE.
IT'S AMAZING HOW THINGS CAN TURN AROUND SO QUICKLY.
♪ ♪
[cheers and applause]
- GOOD JOB, GOOD JOB.
I WAS SWEATING MY *** OFF.
- AHH!
- OH, MY GOD. - ISN'T HE SO SWEET?
YOU KNOW, IT BREAKS MY HEART 'CAUSE, YOU KNOW,
HE'S A LITTLE BOY, AND THAT'S WHAT, LIKE, KILLS ME.
THIS IS FUN, RIGHT?
EVEN THOUGH YOU THINK I'M A SOCIOPATH.
- [laughs]
- MAYBE I MISJUDGED YOU.
I'M SORRY.
- I MEAN, I NEVER DID ANYTHING TO HURT YOU,
AND YOU-- AND I HOPE YOU KNOW THAT.
- I'M WATCHING TERESA AND JACQUELINE
INTERACT WITH ONE ANOTHER.
IT'S A LITTLE RAY OF HOPE
THAT THINGS COULD GET BACK TO, YOU KNOW, WHERE THEY WERE.
- I'M JUST GLAD WE'RE WHERE WE ARE NOW.
[laughs]
IT SEEMS LIKE TERESA'S IN A BETTER PLACE
AND THAT SHE'S BEING MORE REAL,
AND I MISS THAT SIDE OF TERESA.
BUT THERE'S STILL A PART OF ME,
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO TRUST IT.
I'M A LITTLE CONFLICTED.
I FEEL LIKE EVERYONE'S STARING AT US.
[laughs]
- I'M DYING OF THIRST. YOU WANT TO GET SOME WATER?
- OH, YEAH.
- COMING UP NEXT...
- IT'S LIKE SHE'S BEING THE RESPONSIBLE ONE
AND I'M ON SPRING BREAK.
- SINCE WE'RE TALKING ABOUT NAME-CALLING...
- YEAH.
- YOU STILL HAVEN'T APOLOGIZED TO ME!
AND I'M OLDER THAN YOU,
AND YOU BETTER RESPECT YOUR SISTER.
- [laughs]
- WHEN I GET MAD, I'LL CALL EVERYBODY NAMES.
DUH-DUH-DUH-DUH. IT'S A NAME.
- HERE'S TO THE SOCIOPATHS, THE IDIOTS, THE SCUMBAGS,
THE BUTCHIE BOYS,
TO THE HORSEY-FACES, AND TO JOSEPHINE.
- HEY.
- HELLO. - HI, GUYS.
- OH, THE WAKILES HAVE ARRIVED.
- OH, I LIKE THE BLACK AND WHITE.
YOU LOOK LIKE A COOKIE.
- I'M A-- [laughter]
- HOW ARE YOU DOING?
- YOUR HAIR LOOKS GOOD LIKE THAT.
- THANK YOU.
all: HEY!
- THERE HE IS.
- OH, MY GOD, WHAT A GLAMOROUS THRONE.
- GREG BENNETT, WHAT ARE YOU GONNA DO IN SAN FRANCISCO?
- I DREAM ABOUT LEAVING NEW JERSEY ALL THE TIME,
BUT I WOULD NEVER HAVE THE BALLS TO ACTUALLY DO IT.
BUT I THINK GREG'S GONNA GO THERE LIKE MARY TYLER MOORE
AND JUST, LIKE, THROW A HAT IN THE AIR,
AND THEN HE MIGHT JUST COME RIGHT BACK HOME.
- IT'S FUNNY HOW TIME CHANGES AND LIFE BRINGS YOU GIFTS.
AND I THINK, IN MY WORLD--
[voice breaking] I HATE TO SEE YOU GO.
[crying, laughing]
BUT YOU HAVE TO GRAB THE BRASS RING.
HAVING SAID THAT,
I GOT YOU SOMETHING THAT WILL ALWAYS REMIND YOU OF US.
- IS IT A BRASS RING?
[laughter]
DO I OPEN IT RIGHT NOW?
- YES, I WANT YOU TO OPEN IT.
- I WOULD HELP YOU,
BUT YOU HAVE TO LEARN TO DO THINGS ON YOUR OWN.
YOU KNOW WHAT I'M SAYING? - YES, I KNOW.
I NEED TO LEARN TO DO THEM ON MY OWN.
AWW. - AWW.
WHAT IS IT?
- I WAS LOOKING FOR MY APARTMENT,
AND I SAW THIS GRAFFITI,
AND I TOOK A PICTURE OF IT BECAUSE IT REMIND ME...
[exhales] OF WHAT CAROLINE SAID TO US
OVER AND OVER AND OVER AGAIN THE DAY WE MOVED IN:
"TAKE CARE OF EACH OTHER."
AND THAT'S WHAT WE DID.
- GREG AND ALBIE HAVE BEEN FRIENDS FOR MANY YEARS,
AND HE'S LIKE A THIRD SON TO ME.
SO MY HEART IS BREAKING
BECAUSE IT'S LIKE ONE OF MY BABIES IS LEAVING.
- SO YOU INVITED ALL OF US HERE.
HOW COME JOE AND TERESA AREN'T HERE TODAY?
- I DIDN'T THINK THEY'D EVEN WANT TO COME.
- WHERE'S JACQUELINE AND CHRIS?
- SHE'S PROBABLY PACKING, JACQUELINE.
SHE'S GOING TO CALI TOMORROW.
- HEY! [overlapping greetings]
- HI! HOW ARE YOU?
- GREG, I GOTTA GIVE YOU A HUG.
- NOW WAIT, WHEN-- WHEN ARE YOU ACTUALLY FLYING?
- FRIDAY.
- YOU'RE GONNA LOVE IT.
- I CANNOT BELIEVE YOU'RE REALLY GOING TOMORROW.
- FREAKIN' DOING IT. [laughs]
- DO YOU REALIZE THE SCOPE OF WHAT YOU'RE ABOUT TO DO?
- [laughs]
THIS IS THE BIGGEST THING YOU CAN DO.
- WAIT, WHAT ARE YOU GETTING DONE?
- UNBELIEV--FOR WHAT?
- YOU'RE GONNA DO THE TUMMY TUCK?
- THIS IS A HUGE SURGERY.
- YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT THE SAME PERSON
THAT STARTED DOING SIT-UPS,
LIKE, THE SECOND CJ WAS BORN.
- DO YOU REMEMBER WHEN WE HAD TO RUSH HER TO THE HOSPITAL
AFTER HER *** JOB BECAUSE ONE WAS THIS BIG
AND ONE WAS NORMAL BECAUSE SHE DID TOO MUCH?
- ARE YOU GOING TO CALIFORNIA FOR THIS?
- I'M GOING TO BEVERLY HILLS. [clicks tongue]
MY BAGS ARE PACKED. THE HOTEL'S BOOKED.
MY PARENTS DROVE OUT THERE. ASHLEE'S WAITING ON ME.
I MEAN, COME ON, I GOTTA GO. I GOTTA DO IT.
- AND WILL YOU STAY WITH THE BOYS?
- I'M GONNA BE HOME, YEAH. - YOU'RE GONNA BE ALONE?
- IT'S TEMPORARY. SO I'LL CRY FOR A FEW DAYS.
[laughs]
- YOU DON'T TELL HER SHE'S HOT?
- SHE DON'T LISTEN TO ME.
- JACQUELINE IS SO BEAUTIFUL.
I DON'T REALLY THINK SHE NEEDS PLASTIC SURGERY.
BUT SHE'S BEEN IN A LITTLE BIT OF A SAD PLACE, UM,
GOING THROUGH EVERYTHING SHE'S GOING THROUGH.
SO GOD BLESS HER. SHE WANTS HER SEXY BACK.
- HEY, LET'S TALK ABOUT GREG.
- I KNOW, THAT'S WHAT WE'RE HERE FOR.
- GREG. WE'RE GONNA MISS YOU, GREG.
- I LOVE YOU GUYS.
- I HOPE THEY'RE READY FOR YOU, PAL.
- I HOPE YOU CAN MEET SOME DYSFUNCTIONAL PEOPLE LIKE US.
- OH, MY GOODNESS, I COULD ONLY BE SO LUCKY.
- IN SIX MONTHS, HE'S GONNA THINK
WE'RE ALL [bleep]HOLES HERE.
- IN SIX MINUTES, HE'S GONNA THINK WE'RE ALL [bleep]HOLES.
- TIME FOR A TUMMY TUCK!
I WANT THEM TO TAKE ALL OF IT AWAY.
SUCK IT OUT. I DON'T GIVE A CRAP.
JUST GET RID OF IT.
HEY! [laughs]
[kissing]
OH, I'M SORRY. OH, THEY CAN FIX THAT HERE.
LOOK WHO I BROUGHT! - HI!
HOW ARE YOU? THIS IS SO EXCITING.
- BEST PART OF THE TRIP
IS THAT I GET TO SPEND SOME TIME WITH ASHLEE.
I LOVE THE RELATIONSHIP WE HAVE NOW.
IT'S NOT THE FIGHTING THAT IT USED TO BE.
YOU DON'T APPRECIATE A *** THING
ANYBODY DOES FOR YOU-- NOTHING!
I THINK YOU SHOULD GO TO CALIFORNIA
AND FIGURE OUT WHAT LIFE'S ABOUT.
AND YOU TELL ME HOW EASY IT IS.
I THINK SHE NEEDED THAT TIME AWAY TO GROW UP,
AND MAYBE I WAS HOLDING HER BACK A LITTLE BIT, BEING MOM.
YOU KNOW, IT WORRIED ME SICK,
BUT I THINK IT WAS THE BEST THING.
YEAH, HE'S DOING SO GOOD.
OH, MY GOD, I SHOULD CALL THEM. OH, MY GOD.
I JUST WANT TO CHECK IN.
[phone line trilling]
- HI, MOM. - HEY, BABE.
WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
- [laughs] - MULTIPLY DECIMALS?
OKAY, I GOTTA GO. - YEAH.
- CJ, DO YOU MISS ME?
- [laughs]
I JUST WANTED TO CALL AND LET YOU KNOW
I GOT HERE SAFE AND I LOVE YOU.
BYE.
- SINCE I'VE BEEN OUT IN L.A.,
THE MAIN THING I'VE BEEN DOING IS BLOGGING
FOR A WEBSITE CALLED BUZZNET.
I THINK IT'S BEEN GOOD BEING ON MY OWN,
BUT OF COURSE I MISS MY FAMILY AND MY BROTHERS.
- HEY! - [laughs]
- YOU'RE A LONG WAY FROM HOME, HUH?
- YES, I KNOW.
- ALL RIGHT. - LET'S GO DO THIS!
[laughs]
SURGERY IS SERIOUS, ESPECIALLY A TUMMY TUCK,
BUT I DON'T CARE.
I'M GETTING RID OF MY EXTRA SKIN.
I'M HAVING SOME TIME TO MYSELF.
SO WHAT IF I HAVE TO CUT MYSELF OPEN TO DO IT?
- WELL, LET'S TAKE A LOOK.
- THIS IS SO HUMILIATING FOR ME.
- OH, LOOK WHO HAS A TATTOO.
- I'M TIRED OF FEELING NOT CONFIDENT
AND HAVING THIS, AND HAVING TO HIDE THIS,
EVEN FROM MY HUSBAND.
LIKE, I WEAR THE LITTLE NIGHTIE DRESSES
THAT I CAN PULL UP AND PULL OUT.
- WHAT ARE YOU PULLING OUT?
- OH, GOD, I FORGOT YOU WERE HERE.
TURN AROUND.
LIKE, WHAT ABOUT MY NECK?
- WE GO RIGHT BEHIND THE EAR
AND WE TIGHTEN UP THE SKIN A LITTLE BIT.
- IS SHE GONNA HAVE, LIKE... - NO.
- WHAT ABOUT MY HEAVY UPPER EYES?
- NO, NO. - CAN I--
- ABSOLUTELY NOT.
DON'T DO WHAT YOU DON'T NEED.
- YOU KNOW, IT IS SURGERY, AND IT'S A BIG SURGERY.
YOU KNOW, BAD STUFF CAN HAPPEN.
THERE'S RISKS FROM THE ANESTHESIA,
BRUISING, SWELLING, YOU KNOW, INFECTIONS, BLEEDING.
- IT'S RISKY BUSINESS.
- WHERE DO I SIGN UP? [laughs]
- WELL, I WILL SEE YOU TOMORROW.
I WOULD EAT KIND OF LIGHT TONIGHT.
- LIKE, SO NO FAJITAS FOR HER?
- NO, I'D TRY TO GO EASY ON IT.
- TEQUILA? - ALCOHOL WOULD DEHYDRATE YOU.
- NO? DARN IT! - I WOULDN'T.
- [coughing]
- OH, BOY.
YOU WERE COUGHING ALL NIGHT LONG AND I FELT BAD FOR YOU.
YOU WERE VERY WARM. YOU FEEL SICK ALL DAY?
JACQUELINE HAS BEEN GOING THROUGH A HARD TIME WITH NICK,
SO I WAS HAPPY TO SEE HER GO OUT THERE
AND JUST SPEND SOME TIME WITH HERSELF.
BUT I'M HERE JUGGLING WORK
AND THE BOYS AT THE SAME TIME,
AND I GOTTA TELL YOU, IT'S NOT EASY.
[doorbell tones]
HEY. - HEY!
- CJ DOESN'T FEEL WELL. - AWW.
- HE'S GOT A FEVER OR SOMETHING.
- [laughs] AWW, CJ.
WHAT'S THE MATTER, BUDDY?
DOES YOUR BELLY HURT?
IT'S A LITTLE WARM.
WHAT HURTS YOU?
YOU DON'T KNOW?
- NICK, NO.
- [fussing]
- [coughing]
- CAN I GET YOU GUYS STARTED WITH SOMETHING TO DRINK?
- TEQUILA FOR EVERYONE?
- CLUB SODA FOR ME, PLEASE.
- I'LL HAVE A WATER WITH LEMON ALSO.
- I'LL JUST HAVE A WATER, PLEASE.
- OH, MY GOD.
- DID Y'ALL WANT TO GET SOME DINNER?
- TACO SALAD.
- YEAH, YEAH.
- HOLD ON, PAUSE.
HE SAID SHE'S NOT ALLOWED TO HAVE SHOTS.
I'D RATHER HER NOT BE TAKING A SHOT OF TEQUILA RIGHT NOW,
BUT, YOU KNOW, MAYBE SHE IS NERVOUS,
AND THAT'S HER WAY OF JUST TRYING TO BE,
LIKE, COMFORTABLE.
- YOU BEING LEGAL NOW, NOT HAVING SHOTS...
- UM, I'M 22. LIKE, I HAD THE CRAZY TIME.
AND I REALLY DON'T DRINK A LOT.
I MEAN, YOU KNOW, 'CAUSE, LIKE, WORK AND EVERYTHING.
YOU JUST SEEM SO MUCH MORE GROWN-UP...
- AWW. - AND MATURE.
- THANK YOU. - YEAH.
- I DEFINITELY UNDERSTAND YOU AND DAD A LOT MORE NOW.
- I FEEL LIKE IT'S ROLE REVERSAL RIGHT NOW.
LIKE, SHE'S, LIKE, WORRYING ABOUT MY SURGERY,
NOT DRINKING,
AND I'M LIKE, "WHOO-HOO! I'M JUMPING IN! WHOO!"
YOU KNOW?
IT'S LIKE SHE'S BEING THE RESPONSIBLE ONE
AND I'M ON SPRING BREAK.
WHOO! WHOO! WHOO! [laughs]
[laughter]
- [coughing]
- HAS HE SPOKEN TO MOM?
GRANDPA? - NO.
- NOBODY? - NO.
- WELL, WHAT THE HECK IS THAT ABOUT?
- I DON'T KNOW.
- I CAN TELL YOU WHAT HE HAS,
'CAUSE I CAN TELL BY HIS BREATH.
HE MIGHT HAVE STREP.
- [groans weakly]
- I THINK HE'S GONNA FEEL MUCH BETTER
AFTER HE TALKS TO MOM.
- [sighs]
- EXCESS BAGGAGE, IF YOU WILL.
- JESUS.
YOU KNOW WHAT'S GOING TO HAPPEN OVER TIME?
YOU'RE GOING TO KEEP HAVING THIS DONE,
AND PRETTY SOON, YOUR *** ARE GOING TO BE UP HERE.
[laughter]
IT'S MAJOR SURGERY, YOU KNOW?
AND IT'S NOT LIKE HE'S REPAIRING A BUICK.
WE DON'T WANT TO SEE YOU GO UNDER THE KNIFE.
- HE DOESN'T UNDERSTAND.
- YOU KNOW, I DON'T HAVE ANY HAIR,
BUT I'M NOT DOING A TRANSPLANT.
I HAVE A HUMP IN MY NOSE, I'M NOT FIXING THAT.
- SHE WAS LIKE, "I NEED IT!" I'M LIKE, "NO."
I'M LIKE, "YOU NEED A KIDNEY TRANSPLANT."
- RIGHT.
- LIKE, "YOU'RE CHOOSING TO HAVE A NEW STOMACH."
- THAT'S THE WAY I LOOK AT IT.
- IT SCARES ME, 'CAUSE IT'S SURGERY.
- IT SCARES THE HELL OUT OF ME.
- WHY DOESN'T IT SCARE ME?
- 'CAUSE YOU'RE CRAZY. - [laughs]
- I UNDERSTAND MY DAD BEING WORRIED.
THINGS COULD GO WRONG,
BUT THINGS COULD GO WRONG IN YOUR LIFE
IN ANY SITUATION.
AND I'M MORE EXCITED ABOUT THE OUTCOME
THAN WORRYING ABOUT THE ACTUAL PROCEDURE ITSELF.
- OOH. - WOW, THAT'S A BIG TACO SALAD.
- ARE YOU SURE YOU CAN EAT THAT BEFORE SURGERY?
- THE LAST SUPPER.
- YOU'RE A CLASSY BROAD, YOU ARE.
- HONEST TO GOD, YOU ARE SICK, YOU KNOW THAT?
- [laughs]
COMING UP NEXT...
- IT'S TAKING A LITTLE BIT LONGER
THAN THE DOCTOR THOUGHT IT WAS GONNA TAKE.
- PEOPLE HAVE DIED ON THE OPERATING TABLE BEFORE.
IT'S ALWAYS CONCERNING.
- I HOPE SHE DOESN'T EXPECT ALL THIS FAT TO BE GONE.
YOU KNOW, WE GET THIS ON 60-YEAR-OLDS.
I'M JUST WORRIED ABOUT HER PULLING OUT HER BELLY,
ASHLEE PULLING OUT HER BELLY, AND THEN A COMPARISON
OF A 42-YEAR-OLD WITH A 22-YEAR-OLD.
DID YOU SEE HER DAUGHTER'S NECK?
LIKE A GREEK SCULPTURE.
SHE'S 22 AND SHE'S HOT AND SHE KNOWS IT.
- LAST NIGHT, I DIDN'T THINK I WAS GONNA CRY OR ANYTHING
BECAUSE SHE WAS SO CALM, BUT IN THE CAR ON THE WAY BACK,
I-I ACTUALLY CRIED, 'CAUSE I WAS WORRIED ABOUT HER.
I WAS JUST PICTURING GETTING, LIKE, A PHONE CALL OR SOMETHING,
ESPECIALLY WHILE I'M AT WORK.
LIKE, WHAT ARE, LIKE, THE RISKS
IF YOU'RE CUT OPEN FOR THAT LONG?
- I WANT TO SEE THE DOCTOR COME THROUGH
WITH A SMILE ON HIS FACE.
- HOW MUCH LONGER ARE WE GONNA BE, DO WE KNOW?
- COULD BE ANOTHER TWO HOURS.
- WHEN I TELL HER HOW MUCH SKIN CAME OFF THIS LEFT SIDE,
SHE'S GONNA FREAK.
- NO, SHE'S NOT SAD ABOUT LOSING HER TATTOO.
- WHOEVER DID IT, I COULD BETTER.
[phone rings]
- HEY, CHRIS, HOW ARE YOU?
- EVERYTHING'S GOING WELL SO FAR?
- IT'S TAKING A LITTLE BIT LONGER
THAN THE DOCTOR THOUGHT IT WAS GONNA TAKE.
- ANY TIME ANYONE IS PUT OUT WITH ANESTHESIA,
IT'S ALWAYS CONCERNING.
- PEOPLE HAVE DIED ON THE OPERATING TABLE BEFORE,
AND THAT'S WHAT I'M AFRAID OF HAPPENING.
AND THAT'S BULL[bleep].
- ALL RIGHT, ALL RIGHT. WE'LL CALL YOU.
BYE-BYE.
- AH! HI!
- WELL, EVERYTHING WENT FANTASTIC.
SHE'S STABLE IN THERE,
SO I CAN TAKE YOU INTO THE RECOVERY.
ALL RIGHT, WHY DON'T YOU COME ON IN.
A COUPLE VISITORS HERE. THEY SAY THEY KNOW YOU.
- OH, HI! - HI!
- SO HOW ARE YOU FEELING?
- REALLY GOOD.
- HE SAID YOU DID GREAT.
- DO YOU WANT ME TO CALL DAD?
- YEAH, PLEASE. - YEAH?
[phone line trilling]
- HELLO. - DAD?
- YES.
- IT WENT-- IT WENT GOOD.
HERE, HOLD ON. SAY HI TO DAD.
I KNOW MY MOM IS IMPULSIVE,
BUT I HOPE THIS IS HER LAST SURGERY.
YOU KNOW, YOU NEVER KNOW WITH HER.
WE'LL SEE.
LET ME HOLD THIS FOR YOU.
IS SHE OKAY? - YEAH.
- [laughs]
SHE TOTALLY JUST FELL ASLEEP.
- NEXT TIME, ON THE REAL HOUSEWIVES OF NEW JERSEY...
- I THINK WE CAN GET YOU DOWN TO THE TEST KITCHEN.
- I DON'T REALLY WANT TO GO BACK.
- YOU HAVE TO SPEAK UP, EVEN IF IT'S YOUR HUSBAND.
GOTTA CHOP HIM DOWN A LITTLE BIT.
- DO YOU HAVE THE COJONES TO SAY NO?
- THREE YEARS AGO, I HAD A RING PICKED OUT.
AND NOW, I REALLY JUST DON'T CARE.
- ALL RIGHT, SHE'S HERE. WELCOME HOME.
- IT'S, LIKE, REALLY ODD THAT I'M COMING OUT WITH THIS BOOK
ALL ABOUT MY MARRIAGE, AND THEN ALL OF THE SUDDEN,
IT'S, LIKE, THESE RUMORS COME OUT.
AM I A CHEATER?
DID YOU JUST SAY I DID MEET MY EX?
- YEAH, I WAS THERE WITH YOU THAT NIGHT.
- DON'T YOU DARE LIE. - MELISSA GORGA.
THE ACADEMY AWARD GOES TO YOU. THANK YOU, JESUS.
- I WAS ASKED ABOUT CERTAIN THINGS FROM YOUR PAST.
- WHO ASKED YOU THESE QUESTIONS?
- TO LEARN MORE ABOUT THE REAL HOUSEWIVES,
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