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Hey guys, this is Andriy Snip. Thank you for watching and listening to Snip Reviews.
Today I am here with my friend Ante. How are you going, Andriy.
And we will be talking about building a social circle and dating girls from social circles.
So, Ante, imagine six months from now I am going to move to a new city, and I have a
vision of myself, moving in there, working on my computer, meeting girls through daygame,
but I don't have any vision of me and friends around me.
How would you think of moving to a new city and starting everything from scratch, and
building your social circle? I'd start by either joining a sporting team,
such as a soccer team, AFL team, or, if you are into martial arts -- BJJ. And also working
at a cafe -- I think it's a really good idea, because you can meet a lot of people, you're
exposed to a lot of people. And these are probably the best two ways to build a quick
social circle. Sweet. So, let's say I got myself a part time
job at a cafe, and so, what do I do? A good way to start talking to people who
are at the cafe just eating food is to simply just ask them "How's your meal been?" and
then you transition from there asking what they do, say they've got a nice jacket, are
they in marketing, and then you invite them to your own event, or your own thing. Such
as, say, a few of my friends are going to go see this new DJ that's playing at X club,
or we gonna go play soccer in the park, are you interested in coming?
Right, so you mentioned previously, that in addition to getting a (cafe) job, it's also
a good idea to have a bit of a life, and actually go out and do the things that are really interesting.
Yes, it is super important. Because at the end of the day, no one wants to hang out with
someone who's boring. If you ask someone how they are doing and they say "Oh, I am ok.
What you've been up to? I've just been working, work sh.t" -- you'll never want to hang out
with that person ever again. So, you've got to be interesting, you've got
to have things going on. Whether it's, you know, you like salsa dancing, you play the
piano, you play soccer, you rock climb, whatever it is. You've got to have things in your life
that contribute not just to your life, but to others.
Really good, yeah. You mentioned that you see yourself as a social connector. What does
it mean and what does it involve? I think the social connector is that person
that we all know, who seems to know everyone. And there is a few of them in every city.
They are just seem to be like a web, they attract people everywhere. And if you are
not one of those people, it's a good idea to find that person, offer them something
of value. I don't mean offer them money, I mean like being an interesting person that
they want to hang out with -- that's offering value. And from that way, you can meet a lot
of people through them. Sweet. So, you are saying that I don't have
to be super outgoing and extraverted, as long as I have something interesting to offer to
a social connector, I can actually get to know them and get to know their friends, right?
To any person, not just to social connector. Think of it this way: think of what you can
offer someone, not what you can get from someone, and people will be attracted to that, male
or female. Right. And the currency here is -- interesting
events, or places to go? It can be intellect. It can be a stimulating
conversation. It's just -- you've got to have value.
What if I am a person who does not have value? I just want to cry and crawl in a corner.
Stay in the corner! Because no one is going to hang out with you.
Oh, sh.t, that was tough. So, let's say we did the hard work, and we
are working somewhere fun, and we have friends, and we are going out, and there are girls.
How do we ask them out? How do we go from just knowing girls to actually dating them?
I think it's really simple. Myself, I just say "I like you. Would you like to go out
sometime?" or, even better, if I've got an event on, like say this week, there is a new
bar opening up where I live, I can say "There is a new bar opening up, you should come check
it out, bring some of your friends if you want". And that way I can not just bring a
girl I like, I am exposed to her social circle as well.
Yes. So, always in a social circle, I would be afraid, that if I ask a girl out, and she
does not want to come, I will get a lot of embarrassmet.
You could, but that's the risk you take. Fortune favours the brave, you know. You approach
a girl on the street, there is no guarantee that: one -- she'll give you her number, two
-- she'll call you back, three -- you'll sleep with her, four -- she'll be your girlfriend.
Odds are stuck against you. But that's the fun of it.
The reason I approach girls on the street is because if I am going to approach her and
she does not like me, I'll never going to see her again. In a social circle, if I ask
her and she does not want to go with me, everybody is going to know that I am an idiot.
I disagree with that. Because every guy is scared to talk to a girl. So, when I see a
guy who approaches a girl, even if he gets rejected, he's automatically got Status. Because
he's got balls. Everyone respects someone with balls. Women as well.
That's really cool. Next time I want to go after a girl, I won't give a *** and go after
a girl. It's really that simple. It's just "Hey, I
like you. Do you want to hang out some time?" If not -- no issues. You've got to realize
that not every girls is going to like you. You are only fifty percent of the equation.
You bring fifty percent, and they bring fifty percent, and it goes for both male and female.
And, I guess, the more often you do it, the less sh.t you give about it, is it right?
You just don't care, yeah. Yes. So, tell me, you just went overseas,
and you hang out there for a little bit, what was your experience there building your social
circle from scratch? I was really lucky actually. I met a soccer
player. An Australian soccer player living in Croatia. And his girlfriend was a coordinator
of all the Go Go dancers in Croatia. My first night in Croatia I was treated to VIP, I was
at the table with all the Go Go dancers, and then started hanging out with the Go Go dancers
and also cheerleaders, and stated seeing some of them. I was really lucky because I found
a connector in Croatia. Were you just lucky, or were you so assertive
that that luck struck you as a part of who you are?
I think people attract similar people. I think of myself as a connector and I think I draw
other connectors like that to myself. What is Go Go dancing?
The girls that dance in the clubs. You know in Europe, the girls that dance...
I am going to Europe to meet Go Go dancers. Another topic is am curious about, is... I
am a bit of introverted, I only have a few friends, but what about guys who already have
a social circle? Say, you grew up in a town, you know some people, but for whatever reason,
things are not happening -- you don't meet girls.
Do you think it's better to go out and expand your circle, move to a different circle of
friends, or to be a bit more assertive with the girls that you do know?
I think there is two points to that. One -- you are a product of your environment. So, if
the people you surround yourself with aren't the type of people you want to be -- change
them. And it sounds harsh, but it's the truth. Hang out with people who you aspire to be
like. Second, being in your comfort zone, in your
social circle, is going to always keep you in your comfort zone. You need to get out
of your comfort zone, to meet other people. Big one, yes. And it is another scary thing,
that is hard to do because it's scary, but it absolutely has to be done.
And the reason I do not have a lot of fear towards meeting new people because my job,
when I used to be young, taught me to have a tough skin. Do cold sales, do marketing.
If you do a job like that for six months, you are going to get really thick skin really
quickly. Yeah. Actually, at the moment, I am doing
a door to door job, and the reason I went and started doing it, because I wanted to
go through so many rejections, that I don't give anymore.
It's so true. Sounds like a really good interview. I am
sure guys you will find it valuable. And thanks a lot, Ante, for coming along tonight and
participating. No problem, Andriy.