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* i'm going down
to south park *
* gonna have
myself a time *
* friendly faces
everywhere *
* humble folks
without temptation *
* going down
to south park *
* gonna leave my
woes behind *
* ample parking
day or night *
* people spouting
"howdy neighbor" *
* headin' on up
to south park *
* gonna see
if i can't unwind *
* tim-Tmah tim-Mah,
tim-Mah tim-Mah timmy tim-Mah *
* so come on down
to south park *
* and meet some
friends of mine *
You wanted to see me,
principal victoria?
Yes, mr. Garrison,
have a seat.
Mr. Garrison, some time ago
you asked to be promoted
From teaching kindergarten
back to the 3rd grade.
I'm aware of that.
I want to come clean with you
and tell you that back then
Some of us were uncomfortable
with your *** preferences.
It was wrong of us, and i
want to make it up to you.
Wow, that's really
great to hear.
As you know, the position
of 4th grade teacher
Has become available,
And we'd like to
offer you the job.
Oh, for real?!
You're not kidding?
We in administration see now
that you are an individual
With your own preferences,
and we respect that.
Oh, this is all just-
A dream come true!
Thank you,
principal victoria!
I'll do a great job!
I know you will!
You're sure
this for real?
I mean, i'm not just gonna get
fired again for being gay tomorrow?
It's for real,
mr. Garrison.
Oh, great!
With all the
new laws
We could never fire you
for being gay now-
You'd be able to sue us
for millions of dollars.
Right, i-
What, what was that?
Well, i was just saying that the
policies have really changed.
You know, if we fired you
for acting gay next time,
You'd be able to sue the school
district for lots of money.
Oh, right, right.
How, how much
money exactly?
Oh, well, there was the
case out in minnesota
Where the guy was awarded
25 million i think.
You-You don't say.
Well, thanks,
principal victoria.
Holy moly!
I've gotta find a way to
get fired for being gay!
M'kay, kids, i know the past few
weeks have been really hard
With the death of your
teacher, ms. Choksondik.
That's funny!
But the principal has finally
hired a teacher to take her place.
So i want you all to
give your best behavior
To your new 4th grade teacher,
mr. Garrison.
Awwww!
Not him!
Thank you,
mr. Mackey.
Good luck, m'kay.
Okay, children, now for
those of you who are new,
My name is
mr. Garrison.
Where's mr. Hat, sir?
Well, i was informed
that 4th graders
Are a little too old
for mr. Hat.
Two-Year-Olds are
too old for mr. Hat.
But it's okay, because i found
a new teacher's assistant.
Say hello to-
Mr. Slave.
Hi, kids.
Hmm.
So that's mr. Slave,
the teacher's assistant.
Or, as i like to write for
short- The teacher's ***.
Oh, jesus christ.
Okay, mr. Slave, go sit
until i need you.
Ah!
Dude, i think that mr. Slave
guy might be a- Pakistani.
I'm not saying the rest of the
school year is going to be easy.
In fact, it's going
to be long and hard-
Really long
and really hard.
Oh, jesus christ.
The first thing we're gonna
be learning about
Is communist russia.
No, kenny- What are you
doing, kenny?
Now, stalin was a big
silly when he...
Kenny, no!
Don't do it, kenny!
Eric, did you just throw
a paper airplane?!
No, it was kenny!
Very funny, eric,
kenny's dead!
Yeah, but cartman
drank kenny's remains
And now kenny's soul is
trapped in cartman's body.
Yeah!
That does it!
I will not put up with
foolishness in my class!
It's time
for punishment.
Take it, mr. Slave!
Oh!
Oh, it hurts!
I will not put up
with tomfoolery
In my classroom,
children!
Mr. Slave, put this rubber
ball in your mouth.
Take that, slave,
take it!
This should get me
fired for sure!
I really enjoyed
the imagery
In the last chapter
of this month's book.
Yes, and i really saw the
entire book, thematically,
As a take on
corporate america.
I think in the
fourth chapter,
When nancy drew discovers
the bloody glove
In the cheerleader's locker,
That was just a brilliantly
written passage.
So full of metaphor!
Hey guys,
can we talk to you?
Oh, hi, boys!
How was school?
Uh, not cool.
Great.
We're having our book-Of-
The-Month club meeting,
So why don't you boys
go outside and play.
Was it me or did you all
think that nancy drew
Solved the riddle of elephant
mountain a little too easily?
Oh yes.
For sure.
No, no,
he said not cool.
We got our new
teacher today.
It's mr. Garrison,
our old 3rd grade teacher.
Uh-Huh.
Well, he has this new
teacher's assistant,
And they're both-
Totally gay.
Kyle!
You know better than to
discriminate against homosexuals!
Yeah, but these guys
are really super gay.
I'm surprised
at you, stanley.
I really thought you knew how to
accept people for who they were.
Yeah, but, dad-
No buts, stanley.
We're not raising our kids
to be discriminators.
That's right, i think it's time
you kids took a little trip
To the museum
of tolerance.
Welcome to the
museum of tolerance.
Here we try to educate you
on the dynamics
Of racism and prejudice
in america.
Ow!
Now, did you know that words
we use can show intolerance?
Let's begin our tour with a walk
through our "tunnel of prejudice"
To show you what
it can feel like
To be discriminated
against.
***!
Beaner!
***!
***!
***!
***!
Cracker!
Oh man,
this is awesome!
Now you know
how it feels.
I wanna ride again!
I wanna ride again!
We are now entering the
"hall of stereotypes".
These wax figures represent
How some intolerant people
have labeled minorities.
Here, we see a black person
eating chicken and watermelon,
A stereotype that hurts the
african-American community.
What other stereotypes
do you see here?
Ah, here's the arab
as a terrorist.
That's right,
but of course we know
That not all arabs are
terrorists, don't we, kids?
Well, there's an asian man
with a calculator.
That's right, not all
stereotypes are negative.
But even a positive one, like
"all asians are good at math"
Is harmful to society.
Look!
A covetous jew!
Very good, young man.
The idea that jews are
only interested in money
Is very old indeed.
Ah, here's a good one.
It's the stereotypical
"sleepy mexican".
Wha- What?
Oh man,
what time is it?
I'm sorry, i thought
you were a wax sculpture.
No, man,
i'm the janitor.
I'm supposed to be cleaning
but i'm so tired.
Ooh, i so sleepy.
This is our
discovery wing.
Take your time at the computer
displays, because you see,
Being tolerant
you must also learn
To respect people who are small,
people who are disabled,
Even people who are overweight,
like this young man here.
Ay!
You other boys have probably
called this young man names
Like "tubby", or "lard butt"
or "fat ***".
Fat ***-
That's a good one.
Yeah, have to
remember that.
But you must learn be tolerant
of his differences as well.
If he chooses
to eat fatty foods,
That's his life choice.
I'm not fat...
I have a different
life choice.
And we won't belittle you
for eating
Lots of cookies
and cakes and pies.
Dude, tolerance
kicks ***!
That's our cartman.
Well, that's the end
of our tour.
Now do you see why tolerance
is so important, boys?
I guess.
We have to accept people
for who they are
And what they like to do.
Hey! What the hell
are you doing?!
I was just-
There's no smoking
in the museum!
But i'm not
in the museum.
Get out of here,
you filthy smoker!
Yeah,
dirty lungs!
Go ahead and kill yourself,
stupid tar breath!
***!
Get outta here!
Well, have a great day,
everybody.
Now you boys can go and give
your teacher and assistant
The respect they
deserve, right?
Yeah.
Okay, children,
let's take our seats.
Apparently none of you tried
to get me fired yesterday,
So i guess we're just
gonna have to go on
And learn more today.
Now, who can tell me
what happens to water
When we heat it up
in the bunsen burner?
It evaporates!
Good, butters.
Now, if we take the glass tube
of the bunsen burner,
We can also see how
other things react.
Evaporation is an
exothermic reaction-
So now let's look at
an endothermic one.
Mr. Slave,
position 7, please.
Now i'm gonna put the glass
tube into mr. Slave's tight ***.
The heat from
mr. Slave's ***
Will act as our new
conductor of energy.
Ahh!
Okay, now butters,
Could you bring over
lemmiwinks for me, please?
Sure!
Oh, no.
No, no, no, no, no.
Newton was the first to discover
that for every action
There is a reaction-
Thank you, butters-
Now what do you think
is gonna happen
When i introduce the
element of the gerbil
To the endothermic heat
of mr. Slave's ***?
Well, let's see.
Ahh!
Oh, jesus.
Jesus christ!
Lemmiwinks, no!
Hello there,
children!
Hey, chef!
How's it going?
Bad.
Why bad?
Chef,
we're intolerant.
Intolerant of who?
Gays, i guess.
Now why do you wanna go
be intolerant
Of gay people,
children?
I thought you knew
better!
Well, we didn't
think we were,
But mr. Garrison has
this new assistant,
And we're really
uncomfortable around them.
Children,
a lot of times,
The reason people get
uncomfortable around gay people
Is that they have
some issues themselves.
You have to ask yourself,
"what is it about their behavior
That for some reason
makes me uncomfortable?"
Well, i guess
it's mostly the way
Mr. Garrison stuck a gerbil
up mr. Slave's ***.
Right, and you see,
children,
That's why you need to-
Whoa, what?!
Are we
homophobes now?
We don't wanna be
gay bashers, chef!
Children, there's a big
difference between gay people
And mr. Garrison.
Do you
understand that?
No.
You children just
take your lunches.
I'm gonna have a talk
with the principal.
I'll take three
lunches today, please.
You don't need
three lunches, eric,
You're fat enough
as it is.
It is my
life choice, chef,
And if you don't tolerate it
i'll report you to the s.C.C.
That was a brilliant idea
Having me put a gerbil
up your ***, mr. Slave!
Now we'll get fired
for sure!
Well, it wasn't the first
small animal i put up my ***.
Mr. Garrison to the
principal's office, please.
That's it!
They're gonna fire me
for being gay!
25 million,
here we come!
Don't forget,
i get half!
Ooh!
Ooh, jesus christ.
Lemmiwinks, you must find
your way out of this place
Or you will surely die.
This way has been closed off
by the great sphincter.
To escape, you must journey
upward through dark reaches
Of the intestine
and past the stomach.
Who am i?
Just a friend.
Heed my words, lemmiwinks,
your time is running out.
Make for the
large intestine.
All will be
made clear then.
* a great adventure
is waiting for you ahead *
* hurry onward, lemmiwinks
or you will soon be dead *
* the journey before you may be
long and filled with woe *
* but you must escape
the gay man's *** *
* so your tale
can be told *
* lemmiwinks, lemmiwinks
lemmiwinks, lemmiwinks *
* doot doot doot
do do doo *
* doot doo do doo
You wanted to see me,
principal victoria?
Oh, yes, mr. Garrison,
have a seat.
Oh dear, sounds like
i'm getting fired.
* doot doot doot doot
do-Do-Do doo *
Mr. Garrison, chef has
brought it to my attention
That some of the students
are a bit... uncomfortable
About certain aspects of
your teaching methods.
Oh, no,
you're firing me?!
Oh well, i can't stop
being who i am.
I can't help the way
god made me.
Guess i just have to go!
No, no, no!
We're not firing you.
You're not?
No, we're sending chef
to a tolerance seminar.
Sending chef to
a tolerance seminar?!
You got to be
crazy!
You've demonstrated
a lack of tolerance
For mr. Garrison's
behavior.
In fact, i believe you
used to words "sick ***"
To describe his
conduct in class.
He is a sick ***!
Yeah!
I just wanted to give you
an opportunity
To apologize to mr.Garrison
before i sent you away, chef.
Kiss my black ***!
Parents, i had to call you
in here because your boys
Have refused
to attend class
With their homosexual
teachers, m'kay.
We're not staying in class
another minute
With those queermos!
Well, i really thought
you boys learned something
At the museum of tolerance.
But apparently
all you learned
Was new words to call
your poor teachers!
But they killed
lemmiwinks!
Shut your mouth,
butters!
You'll speak
when spoken to!
Yes, sir.
Mr. Mackey, we've done
everything we can
To raise compassionate
children.
We don't know
where else to turn!
Well, there is an intensive
seminar camp.
It's a bit severe, but it
might be the only way, m'kay.
That sounds
good to me.
Me too!
Then it's settled.
Boys, you're going
to tolerance camp!
Tolerance camp?
Velcome to tolerance camp.
You are here because you would
not accept people's differences.
Because you refused to
accept the life choices
Of your fellow man.
Well, those days
are now over.
Here you will vork,
every hour of every day
Until you submit to being
tolerant of everybody.
Here, intolerance...
will not be tolerated.
God dammit!
How'd it go?
This is unbelievable,
mr. Slave!
It seems no matter what i do
i can't get fired!
The principal
didn't fire you?
No!
The parents felt so bad that
their kids didn't want to
Attend my class anymore
That they want to give me the
"courageous teacher" award
This friday at the
museum of tolerance!
Oh, jesus christ.
I mean, i stuck
a gerbil up your ***
And they want to give me
a *** medal!
Well, it sounds to me
like the principal
Is just hiding things
from everybody.
What you need to do is
let the parents see
What kind of demented
*** you are.
Oh, well- Hey,
that's right, mr. Slave.
The parents have to
see for themselves.
The award ceremony!
We'll put on a show
they'll never forget!
Ooh, jesus christ.
* lemmiwinks journeyed
a distance far and fast *
* to find his way out of
a gay man's *** *
* the road ahead is filled
with danger and fright *
* but push onward, lemmiwinks
with all of your might *
Lemmiwinks!
You are coming to the entrance
of the small intestine.
There you must seek out
the sparrow prince.
* the sparrow prince lies
somewhere way up ahead *
* don't look back, lemmiwinks
or you'll soon be dead *
* lemmiwinks, lemmiwinks
the time is growing late *
* slow down now
and seal your fate *
I am the sparrow prince.
Long has my spirit been
trapped within this place.
Before you lies the maze
of the small intestine.
One path leads to the stomach,
the other to certain doom.
Take with you
this helmet and torch.
Let them be your guide.
* take the magic helmet torch
to help you light the way *
* there's still a lot of ground
to cross inside the man so gay *
* ahead of you
lies adventure *
* and your strength
still lies within *
* freedom from the *** of doom
is the treasure you will win *
Today we will be using
ze finger paints.
You vill make a painting that
shows people of different races
And *** orientations
getting along.
Finger paint.
Finger paint!
You will not make any
distinction between
People of different color,
People with different
*** preferences.
You will accept
everyone!
What are you
finger painting?!
Uh, a bear?
Ein bear?!
Ein bear has nothing
to do with
Accepting people
of different races!
I didn't know what
else to paint!
Start over!
You vill finger paint
what we tell you!
Go!
Faster.
Faster!
Fasterrrr!
Ah!
Faster!
Are you done?!
What is it?
What have you done?!
People of all
colors and creeds
Holding hands
beneath a rainbow!
Good!
That wasn't so hard,
was it?
Now do it again!
Faster!
Fasterrr!
There, i've done it,
mr. Slave-
The perfect plan
to get us fired!
You finished your
costume design yet?
Almost, i just have to
get through the-
Oh- Jesus christ.
What's the matter?
Just a bit of
an upset stomach i guess.
Well, here,
take a pepto pill.
I can't have my teacher's
*** under the weather.
Oh, jesus christ.
* lemmiwinks came to
the stomach dark *
* 'neath the depths of
the lungs and heart *
You chose your path
wisely, lemmiwinks.
I am the catatafish.
* catatafish of the
stomach's cove *
If you answer
this riddle
The esophagus
will let you pass.
* catatafish's riddle
will soon be told *
Everything in order?
Yes, mein fuhrer.
Ve are making the prisoners
make macaroni pictures
That illustrate diversity
in the vorkplace.
Excellent.
Doh!
Kyle!
Kyle, you have to keep making
your macaroni pictures!
Can't... glue...
Anymore.
The guards
are coming, kyle.
Glue, glue damn you!
Take zis one away,
he is done for.
Butters?
No more...
arts and crafts.
Oh jesus.
We have to
get out of here.
Please don't tell them
that we're hiding here!
We can't work any more,
we'll die!
What?! What?!
Oh, uh, nothing!
I was just getting
back to work.
What is in there?
Nothing!
Get back to work.
Yes, sir!
Phew...
Heh-Heh, heh-Heh...
Eww!
Ohh!
Hey, i was just
kidding!
There's actually two girls
hiding down there!
Hey!
Tonight, we are here to honor
an amazing 4th grade teacher
With the
"courageous teacher" award.
Herbert garrison came out
about two years ago.
Since then, he has
faced adversity,
He has even faced ridicule
by some of his students.
Oh randy, i'm so
ashamed of our son.
It is my honor to present the
courageous teacher award to-
Herbert garrison.
* dump de dump
de dumpity dump de dump *
* dumpity dump
Get along,
little slave.
Oh my god.
That's what our boys
were talking about?
Ding ding!
Ding ding!
He is so
courageous.
Say, mr. Slave...
Yes, mr. Garrison?
I had a dream last night
that you were a real ***.
Really?
Why would you dream that
i was being an ***?
No, no-
I was the ***.
Oh, that is
so courageous.
What an amazing
human being!
Uh, i'm very happy
to get this award.
But you know what
makes me even happier?
Sucking balls.
Ahhh...
It isn't working!
Sing your song,
mr. Slave!
I've got a little-
Ooh! Oh, jesus christ.
What's happening
in there?
Hang on, lemmiwinks!
You solved the
catatafish's riddle!
Now your trials are
nearly through!
Oh, i should have
never shoved
All those poor animals
up my ***!
Uh-
Courageous.
So courageous!
God dammit, don't you
people get it?!
I'm trying to get
fired here!
Oh, that's courageous.
Look, this kind of behavior
Should not be acceptable
from a teacher!
Yeah, jesus christ.
But the museum tells us
to be tolerant.
Yes, the museum!
The museum tells us!
Tolerant,
but not stupid!
Look, just because you
have to tolerate something
Doesn't mean you
have to approve of it!
If you had to like it, it'd be
called the museum of acceptance.
Tolerate means you're just
putting up with it.
You tolerate a crying child
sitting next to you on the airplane,
Or you tolerate
a bad cold.
It can still
*** you off!
Jesus-Tap-Dancing-Christ!
He's right.
Our boys didn't
hate homosexuals,
They just hated the way
this *** was acting.
We've gotta get
our boys back!
Huh!
So now can i please get fired
and get my $25 million?
No, no, i think i have
a better idea.
We're sorry, boys,
why didn't you tell us
Your teachers were acting
so over the top?
Yes, you boys don't know
how much we've suffered!
Come on, let's go.
But this is insane!
I'm sorry,
mr. Garrison,
But it's obvious you aren't
tolerant of your own behavior.
Vhat do we have here,
new recruits?
I assure you, the next veek
will be nothing
But pain and suffering!
Oooh, this could be
kind of fun.
Ohh!
* lemmiwinks has made it out
the tale is nearly through *
Great job,
lemmiwinks!
Thanks to you,
we are all free.
But your adventures
are just beginning.
For you are no ordinary
gerbil, lemmiwinks,
You are-
The gerbil king.
All hail the gerbil king!
* now that you're
the gerbil king *
* there's more
adventures to go on *
* fly away to faraway lands
and to the setting sun *
* there's still so many enemies
and battles yet to fight *
* for lemmiwinks
the gerbil king *
* to be told
another night *
* lemmi, lemmi
lemmiwinks *
* lem, lemmiwinks
lemmiwinks *
* lem, lem lemmiwinks
lemmiwinks, lemmiwinks *
* lemmiwinks, lemmiwinks
* gerbil king *
Ohh, jesus!
Jesus christ, ohh!