Tip:
Highlight text to annotate it
X
>> INSTRUCTOR: Alright, so this video is all about vague descriptions.
Well, what is a vague description?
That's what happens when your writing lacks specific or concrete details.
Without specificity, your writing can get really overgeneralized,
and that makes it both inaccurate and overall uninteresting.
Now, this is not always a bad thing. Vague descriptions aren't always wrong.
Especially when you're dealing with fiction writers.
Sometimes they will use very vague descriptions to build up suspense,
or if you have a character that's falling unconscious, things may get vague.
But they're doing that for a reason.
When you're dealing with academic writing,
usually your vague description is just going to interfere
with your overall purpose.
Now, how can you tell if you have a vague description?
Well, the first thing you want to do is read your writing with your audience in mind.
Are they going to be able to see what it is you're talking about?
And when I say "see," I mean literally see it.
And you might want to share your writing with a reader
and just ask them where there are things vague,
where do things get unclear.
So let's see what I mean with an example.
Take this sentence: "The car arrived."
That is really, really vague.
Okay, so there are like some cars, and they're arriving,
and I don't know if there's traffic involved,
I have no idea really what that means.
What I picture in my head might not be what you intended.
It will definitely be different than what other readers of your paper will picture.
So let's look at this one instead:
"The red Porsche slid gracefully into the tight parking spot."
Well, there is is. Now I know what I am looking at.
I know what color it needs to be, I know where I am on the street--
that is a really specific, concrete image.
So, common types of vague descriptions:
usually they don't include these sensory words, and when I say "sensory words,"
I mean sight, sound, smell, taste, and touch.
Because if you say something like "The room was dirty",
well my version of dirty and your version of dirty could be very different.
So I could say something like "The room was strewn with trash
and smelled like a public bathroom."
So I just gave you sight and smell.
Another problem you may run into is when you use nonspecific adjectives:
"good", "bad", "okay", "pretty", "happy", "sad".
Well, my "good movie" is different from your "good movie."
And my "nice car" is definitely different from your "nice car."
So you can say something a little more specific, like
"I drove a fast car." Okay, fast is a little relative,
but it's better than "I drove a nice car."
My nice car might be a Mini Cooper, whereas your nice car might be a Cadillac.
Those are two very different things. So that's the problem with vague descriptions.
Also, you want to watch out for qualifiers.
Things like sort of, kind of, generally.
If you don't have any more explanation, then that's a problem.
I don't know what you sort of, kind of mean.
"This textbook is sort of interesting."
Is that a good thing, is that a bad thing? I'm really not sure.
Another issue is poor word choice or overall wordiness.
It makes your meaning really vague.
For instance: "Jeff performed timely inspections on key nodes
in strategically vital business units by engaging and applying
client feedback to operationally important points of contact with customers."
I have no idea what I just said right there.
There's way too many words going on.
I know the point is that Jeff reviewed customer feedback
and revised policies on responsiveness to customer feedback.
But for that first one, it's just way too wordy.
So what can I do to revise a vague description?
Well you can tackle the problems we just talked about.
Add some sensory words that refer specifically to sight, sound,
smell, taste, touch. Instead of saying, "I walked into a room,"
say "Quietly, I walked into a dank, heavily furnished room."
Or you can get rid of all of those "good" "bad" "okay" "pretty" "happy" "sad"
generic, non-specific adjectives, like "The cake tasted good."
"Good" doesn't really give enough detail.
That's very different than "The strawberry cake tasted fresh and tart."
Well, now I have some specifics there.
Or you can get rid of "sort of" "kind of" "generally":
"I kind of said I was sort of down."
I have no idea what you mean. Did you say it? Did you not say it?
Are you sort of down? Or are you not?
If you say "I hinted I was unhappy," now I know what you mean.
So you want to avoid vague descriptions.
You want your reader to have a clear, specific picture
of exactly what you are writing about.