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So, Monster Energy Drinks.
I would rather
choke down
a warm mug of cat ***
seasoned with an entire shaker of salt
sucked through a straw green onion
than even attempt
to drink this garbage.
Folks, I would rather jam an old straw
into one of Kirstie Alley's sweaty, gelatinous fat rolls and suck down pounds
upon pounds of hot, sour, and chunky goo
right down my gullet
than drink this ***-tasting energy drink. Ya,
that's how bad I think Monster Energy Drinks suck.
And
it's not just the taste.
This stuff is astronomically unhealthy for you.
In fact,
let me read this article here that I just got, I just pulled up, just came up here
recently. I'll link it in the description, I'm just gonna read a little snippet here.
Okay, um,
what do we got.
"The mother of teenager Alex Morris
who died from cardiac arrhythmia last year
is suing Monster Beverage Corp. for the death of her son.."
Now, listen to this part right here.
"She claims wouldn't have died
if he hadn't consumed 2 cans of Monster Energy Drink everyday
for the past three years
before his death."
Everyday,
2 cans for three years.
And it killed him.
And this isn't, this isn't the first,
ladies and gentlemen.
This is the sixth death
that this ***-in-a-can
was linked to
in less than three years.
Folks this stuff has no nutritional value, it's worse than drinking pop, it
tastes like ***,
and has been linked
to six deaths in three
years.
Think about it this way here folks.
Drinking a Monster is kind of like listening to Asking Alexandria.
You shouldn't do it,
in the majority of people who do do it are 12 and under.
Now granted that most of the people who died
as a result of this
crapola
had some sort of pre-existing condition,
I understand that.
But that does not
change the fact
the this crap
is astronomically unhealthy for you.
And don't think
that I'm just throwing Monster under the bus, oh no, no.
Let's see, whatddo we got? Red Bull,
5 Hour Energy, Vault, Rockstar, Amp, all those
chemically unswallowable excuses for a beverage
are also in play for this video. Hell,
the FDA is already
investigating 13 deaths
linked to 5 Hour Energy.
Now there are some people
that think this ***
is good for you
because it gives you energy.
And it couldn't be farther from the truth
ladies and gentlemen.
There's a reason why you feel like you just got back from a date with Chris
Brown
after you drink this schlockey.
It's because most of the
"energy"
comes from sugar,
caffeine, gaurine, and a long list
of other unhealthy chemicals.
Let me set one thing
here straight ladies and gentlemen.
There is a huge
difference. A huge, astronomical difference
between energy drinks
and sports drinks.
For the most part sports drinks are beneficial for you, you know they hydrate
you a great deal you know. Most of them, you know, not all of them. Some of them do have
a, um,
a lot of sugar added, I do realize.
While energy drinks give you nothing more than regret,
nausea, and a few minutes shaved off your life.
Kind of like watching a RayWilliamJohnson video.
But I've told you enough
about how I'd rather chug a vat of motor oil then drink this ***.
So that begs the question, why?
Why is this stuff still on the shelves you may ask
if you're a smart individual.
Why doesn't the company do more to enforce
that this is God awful for you.
Because,
like all of today's crappy 2-bit musicians,
they don't give a ***,
they don't give two ***, they don't give a rat's
***
about you, the buyer
outside of what's in your pocket.
They know it's awful for you,
they make it.
but they also know it's in demand and teens, blissfully unaware of what they're putting in
their bodies
need something to help them stay up
passed a healthy type for sleep,
will buy it.
This is the very same reason
that they sell cigarettes,
alcohol, tobacco, Jeff Dunham DVD specials.
All of these things that they know
are horrible for you, but they sell them anyway
because they know you're ignorant enough to purchase it. And hell,
even if it did say
"WARNING: THIS PRODUCT MAY CAUSE DEATH" right there on the label
do you really think
today's teens would listen?
the label already says against drinking 48 oz. a day,
yet there are some teenagers who ignore that.
Now of course i'm not talking about all teens, I know
very well that there are some intelligent people out there who do
drink monster energy, and that's fine.
I you don't know what you're putting your bodies then this video isn't
directed towards you, no. But,
some teenagers these days
are wasting their lives
doing drugs and knocking *** up at
15, 14, you name it.
Do you honestly think
a little energy drink will phase them?
And these companies know and take advantage of that.
So unless these people
who carelessly drink this, for lack of better words, sludge
realize that what they're putting in their bodies is ***, Monster
and all these other energy drink companies will continue to exploit that and
sell their crap-drinks, their ***-drinks to the public.
So, don't be surprised the next time a teenager croaks because of this
*** drink
that it will still be on the shelves
for years and years to come.
And as much as I hate to say this...
I don't think this death was the company's fault,
this one in particular.
Because
he did-
he did drink
48 oz. a day, that was that was his limit according to the story.
But he did it for three years
folks.
And he kicked the bucket,
cardiac arrhythmia
because of the drink.
But did the company tell him
to drink
a can of Monster, 2 cans of Monster, sorry,
everyday
for three years?
And that's what sucks about this. You know, it's like Casey Anthony and O.J, you know
they did it, you know they're responsible for it.
But you just don't-
you don't have
enough evidence pointing towards them.
By a water instead guys,
it's cheaper.
Unless it's that hilariously overpriced Fiji ***.
Thanks for watching folks,
and have a good day.