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X
IS ON.
QUIT FOOLING AROUND AND GRAB A SEAT.
WHOA!
TONIGHT IT'S "AMERICA'S FUNNIEST HOME VIDEOS"
$100,000 EXTRAVAGANZA.
SO WHY NOT TAKE US OUT FOR A TEST DRIVE?
COME ON. A LITTLE SPIN COULDN'T HURT.
ALL YOU GOT TO DO IS HOP ON...
AND LET YOURSELF GO.
SO KISS ALL YOUR INHIBITIONS GOODBYE...
'CAUSE TONIGHT WE'RE OUT OF CONTROL...
ON "AFV's" $100,000 SHOW.
AND NOW A MAN WHO LOVES TO GIVE AWAY LARGE SUMS OF MONEY
TOM BERGERON.
THANK YOU. THANK YOU.
THANK YOU VERY MUCH.
OH, PLEASE, PLEASE. THANK YOU.
OH, THAT'S GOOD. HAVEN'T SEEN THAT IN A WHILE.
THANK YOU VERY MUCH. THANK YOU.
GOOD EVENING, EVERYBODY.
WELCOME TO A VERY SPECIAL EPISODE.
YOU CAN TELL IT'S A VERY SPECIAL EPISODE
BECAUSE I'M DRESSED LIKE A MAITRE D'.
TONIGHT, OUR $10,000 WINNERS WILL BE DUKING IT OUT
UNTIL THERE'S ONLY ONE LEFT STANDING,
AND THAT ONE GOES HOME WITH $100,000
IN COLD AMERICAN CASH. YES!
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]
THAT'S -- THAT'S THE SAME AMOUNT OF MONEY COLBY WON
AND YOU DON'T HAVE TO SPEND
42 DAYS IN THE OUTBACK WITH JERRI.
SO GET READY. THE FINALISTS ARE BACKSTAGE
WRITING THEIR ACCEPTANCE SPEECHES.
IN THE MEANTIME, LET'S TAKE A LOOK AT THIS.
WHEN HE'S ON A PLATE AND SURROUNDED BY POTATOES,
HE'S NOT QUITE AS SCARY, IS HE?
OKAY, SAY WHEN.
HA HA.
ARE YOU TAKING A BATH?
YOU SHOULD ALWAYS HAND-WASH YOUR DELICATES.
[ SHIVERING ]
I THINK THEY DO BETTER IN WARM WATER.
I'M GOING TO GET YOU.
THEY SAY SHE GOT HER MOTHER'S NOSE
AND HER FATHER'S CHIN.
OH, YEAH.
HA HA HA. THANKS.
SOME PEOPLE ARE WALKING ACCIDENTS.
THEY'RE JUST LIKE LIGHTNING RODS FOR BAD LUCK.
YOU KNOW THE TYPE.
EVEN BLACK CATS ARE AFRAID TO WALK IN FRONT OF THEM.
IT'S GOOD TO HAVE A FRIEND LIKE THAT
SO THAT WHEN SOMETHING REALLY BAD HAPPENS,
IT HAPPENS TO THEM.
LET'S MEET SOME OTHER MASTERS OF DISASTER.
THE KEY TO A SUCCESSFUL RUN IS VISUALIZATION,
OR HURLING YOURSELF DOWN THE MOUNTAIN
AND HOPING FOR THE BEST.
YOU KNOW WHY THEY CALL THEM SOUS CHEFS?
'CAUSE THAT'S WHAT YOU END UP DOING.
IT'S A POWERFUL PITCH
WHEN IT CAN BREAK YOUR TV SCREEN.
THIS MIGHT NOT LOOK DANGEROUS,
BUT THERE ARE A LOT OF SOCIAL SECURITY CHECKS
RIDING ON THIS GAME.
RIGHT NOW
THERE'S A CROWD OF ANGRY SENIORS STORMING THE STAGE.
WHEN BIKING, KEEP YOUR EYES PLASTERED ON THE ROAD.
ALL RIGHT. OKAY.
WE'VE BEEN HAVING FUN LAUGHING AT VIDEOS,
BUT LET'S NOT FORGET WHY WE'RE HERE --
TO FATTEN SOMEONE'S BANK ACCOUNT TONIGHT.
HERE'S OUR FIRST SET OF FINALISTS,
ONE OF WHOM COULD SOON BE MAKING A VERY LARGE DEPOSIT.
3, 2, 1...
[ SCREAMING ]
WHOA, WHOA, WHOA, WHOA!
OKAY, OKAY, OKAY, OKAY!
[ Laughing ] OKAY.
HA HA HA.
OH, GOD, I STILL HAVE A FEAR OF FALLING.
OH! WHOA. HA HA.
OH, GOD. OH, GOD.
I THOUGHT IT WAS GOING TO HELP. IT DIDN'T. OH, GOD.
OKAY, I'M READY FOR IT TO QUIT NOW.
HA HA HA.
WHOO! WHOO! WHOO! OKAY.
MAKE IT QUIT. MAKE IT QUIT. HA HA.
OH. OH. OH.
NEVER, EVER, EVER AGAIN
AM I GOING TO GET ON THIS THING.
HE DOESN'T DO A GREAT JOB ON THE LAWN,
BUT HE DOES PUT ON A HECK OF A SHOW.
HEY, SHE FIGURED OUT
HOW TO GET HER BALL CLEAN.
NOW SHE'S GOT TO FIGURE OUT HOW TO GET HER BALL BACK.
OH-HO. OKAY.
HA HA.
MY FAVORITE VIDEOS ARE THE ONES
WHERE PEOPLE HAVE A GENUINE EMOTIONAL RESPONSE,
LIKE YOU'VE SEEN -- THEY'RE ECSTATIC.
THEY'RE HORRIFIED. THEY'RE HUMILIATED.
IT'S LIKE WHEN I WAS SINGLE.
YOU LAUGH. IT'S TOO TRUE, UNFORTUNATELY.
LET'S CHECK IN WITH SOME FOLKS
WHO WEAR THEIR EMOTIONS ON THEIR SLEEVES.
SOMETIMES, EMOTIONS WORK IN HARMONY --
CONCENTRATION...
FRUSTRATION... AND DOGGED PERSISTENCE.
WATCH HOW QUICKLY INDIFFERENCE CAN TURN TO TERROR.
[ TRAIN WHISTLE BLOWS ]
JOYFUL, PLAYFUL, ELATED, DIZZY.
NOTHING CAN INDUCE A CASE OF THE ***
LIKE A FRIEND WITH A RAT.
ALL RIGHT, EASY DOES IT, WILLIE.
STAND UP AND PULL.
SILLINESS...
EMBARRASSMENT...
PULL. PULL.
DESPERATION...
PULL.
COME ON. PULL.
YOUR HAIR'S IN HERE.
OKAY. COME ON. PULL.
AND, FINALLY, RELIEF.
DON'T GO AWAY.
"AFV's" $100,000 SHOW IS COMING RIGHT BACK.
WHEN WE GET A REALLY SPECIAL VIDEO,
WE LIKE TO CALL IT "A WATER COOLER TAPE"
BECAUSE VERY LIKELY YOU'RE GOING TO BE TALKING ABOUT IT
AT WORK TOMORROW AROUND THE WATER COOLER
WHILE YOU HAVE ME ON HOLD FOR 45 MINUTES,
LISTENING TO THE MUZAK VERSION OF KORN'S "FREAK ON A LEASH"
WHEN ALL I REALLY WANTED IS A SIMPLE SOFTWARE FIX!
BUT I DIGRESS.
PAY ATTENTION.
YOUR OFFICE SOCIAL LIFE DEPENDS ON IT.
SEEMS LIKE THEY JUST START RIDING ON TWO WHEELS
AND THEY WANT TO MOVE ON TO ONE.
THAT'S A NIGHTMARE.
BOB AND JOE BELIEVE IN PUTTING THEIR WOMEN ON A PEDESTAL.
[ RIBBIT ]
[ RIBBIT ]
[ RIBBIT ]
UH-OH. NOW YOU'RE GOING TO GET LENS WARTS.
[ CROAKING ]
SO WHAT DO YOU WHEN YOU'RE LOSING 2-0?
YOU KNOW, WHEN YOU REACH THAT AGE,
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN THROUGH A LOT OF IT.
OKAY, NOW BEFORE WE CAN GIVE AWAY $100,000,
YOU GOT TO SEE ALL THE PLAYERS.
HERE ARE THE NEXT SET OF FINALISTS. WATCH CLOSELY.
SEE IF YOU CAN SPOT ANY FUTURE MONEYBAGS.
GIVING HER A BATH.
WANT A LITTLE BATH?
LOOK IT. SHE'S SWIMMING.
SHE'S NOT EVEN IN THE WATER YET.
LIFT HER UP HIGHER. LIFT HER UP HIGHER.
[ Laughing ] LOOK AT HER SWIM.
HA HA.
LET ME PUT HER OVER THE TOILET.
LET'S SEE IF IT WORKS OVER THE TOILET.
FLUFFY, WANT TO TAKE A BATH?
WANT TO TAKE A BATH?
HA HA.
SHE'S SWIMMING.
GET A LITTLE CUP OF WATER. SEE IF SHE SWIMS OVER THAT.
WANT TO TAKE A BATH? HUH?
THOUSANDS OF YEARS OF EVOLUTION WORKING PERFECTLY.
OUR LADY OF THE IMMACULATE COMBUSTION.
WHAT WE NEED HERE IS A LITTLE MORE AIR.
WELL, WE CAN USE THIS AT THE BAKE SALE.
♪ I-I HAVE THE FA-A-ITH ♪
♪ THAT SEES THE INVISIBLE, EXPECTS THE INCREDIBLE ♪
♪ AND RECEIVES THE IMPOSSIBLE, WHO-O-O-A ♪
♪ I-I HAVE THE FA-A-ITH ♪
♪ THAT SEES THE INVISIBLE ♪
♪ EXPECTS THE IN-CRED-I-BLE, EH-EH-EH-EH-EH-EH ♪
♪ AND RECE-E-IVES THE IMPOSSIBLE, WHO-O-A ♪
[ UNINTELLIGIBLE ]
THE TERM "RENAISSANCE MAN" USED TO BE HIGH PRAISE.
IT MEANT A MAN WHO PERFORMED BRILLIANTLY
IN A NUMBER OF DIFFERENT FIELDS.
NOW AVERAGE GETS BY.
TAKE ME, FOR EXAMPLE. I HOST TWO SHOWS.
[ LAUGHTER ]
HERE ARE SOME RENAISSANCE MEN IN THE CLASSICAL SENSE.
THEY CAN DO IT ALL.
SOME MEN ARE COLLECTORS.
THEY HAVE A HARD TIME THROWING ANYTHING AWAY.
WHOA!
GOOD JOB, JIM.
OH, WE GOT IT.
SOME FELLAS LIKE TO FOLLOW A RECIPE.
SOME JUST COOK BY TASTE.
EVERYBODY NEEDS THEIR EIGHT HOURS,
BUT AT THE DINNER TABLE?
EVEN WHEN HE'S ASLEEP, HE'S THE LIFE OF THE PARTY.
SIMON SAYS, "DUH."
EVERYTHING IN LIFE IS ABOUT BALANCE.
THERE IT IS. OH, YES, INDEED.
DOING VERY GOOD, TWEET. WONDERFUL.
OKAY. SHELLY?
DO NOT -- DO NOT HURT --
WHY ARE YOU TALKING TO YOURSELF?
I'M NOT TALKING TO MYSELF. I'M TALKING TO TWEET.
I'M TALKING TO THE FILM RIGHT THERE. YOU SEE?
OH.
OKAY, NOW YOU DON'T GET BEHIND THE BIRD.
OH. IT POOPED. YOU OKAY?
OH, HELP ME!
HELP ME. HELP ME.
IT'S ALL RIGHT, DARLING.
IT'S NOT.
YOU'RE NOT GOING -- YOU'RE NOT GOING TO DIE, OKAY?
WE'VE GOT POOP HERE ON SHELLY, BUT DON'T WORRY ABOUT IT.
[ CRYING ]
WE ARE GETTING CLOSER TO VOTING,
BUT THERE CAN BE NO VOTING UNTIL WE'RE FINISHED WATCHING.
SO IF YOU LIKE TO WATCH, ENJOY OUR NEXT SET OF FINALISTS.
LOOK AT THIS!
I WAS TRYING TO LOOK BACK WHEN YOU WERE KISSING ME,
AND IT JUST ROLLED HIS HEAD UP IN THE WINDOW.
[ Laughing ] I CAN'T GET IT OUT.
HEY.
YEAH.
JUST GOT THE VIDEO CAMERA. HA HA HA.
OH, HIS HEAD'S HURTING. WE GOT TO GET HIS HEAD OUT.
HOW DO WE GET IT OUT? SHOULD WE BREAK THE WINDOW?
YOU'RE NOT BREAKING THE WINDOW.
WELL, WHAT ARE WE GOING TO DO?
I DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU WERE PLANNING ON THAT ONE, BRO.
I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU DID THIS.
YOU SHOULDN'T HAVE STUCK YOUR HEAD IN THE WINDOW.
YOU SHOULDN'T HAVE ROLLED MY HEAD UP IN THE WINDOW.
WHAT ARE WE GOING TO DO?
HOLD ON. LET ME SEE IF I CAN GET IT OUT.
NO, NO, NO! NO, NO, DON'T. YOU'RE GOING TO BREAK IT.
DON'T BREAK IT. DON'T BREAK IT.
SHE DID SOMETHING. I THINK IT BLEW A FUSE OR SOMETHING.
I DIDN'T WANT IT TO GO OFF IN GEAR OR SOMETHING.
WHAT DO I DO, TODD?
WAS IT A FUSE?
I DON'T KNOW, MAN.
I'LL -- I'LL TAKE THE CAMERA. HERE.
OKAY, OKAY.
OH, MY GOD. I CANNOT BELIEVE THIS.
WELL, I GUESS IT'S UNDERNEATH THE DAMN DASH.
JUST A MOMENT.
YEAH, WHERE'S THE FUSE BOX?
I DON'T KNOW. THIS HASN'T HAPPENED BEFORE.
THIS IS REALLY CUTTING OFF THE CIRCULATION IN MY HEAD.
PUSH THEM -- THOSE TWO WERE LOOSE, WEREN'T THEY? OKAY.
[ BEEPING ]
I'LL TRY.
GET IT? I CAN'T SEE.
CAN YOU REACH THE BUTTON?
OH!
HA HA HA. OH, MY GOD. OKAY.
ALL RIGHT, WE'VE GOT HIM OUT.
OH, LIKE SOMEONE BACKED UP ON MY HEAD.
OH, MAN.
HA HA.
HEY, GET THIS ON FILM.
JASMINE, COME BACK AROUND HERE.
OOPS. WHY DID YOU DO THAT?
WHY DID YOU DO THAT?
I DIDN'T.
YOU DID DO IT. YOU JUST DID IT.
COME HERE, BABY.
WHEN CHARLES DARWIN FIRST PUBLISHED
HIS THEORY OF EVOLUTION, PEOPLE WENT BANANAS.
NOW IT'S AN ACCEPTED FACT THAT MAN DESCENDED FROM APES,
AND, FACE IT, SOME HAVEN'T DESCENDED VERY FAR.
ONLY A FEW STRANDS OF DNA SEPARATE US
FROM OUR NEAREST RELATIVE.
WE'RE CLOSER THAN YOU THINK.
ANOTHER CEO FROM A FAILED DOT-COM
FINDS A NEW LINE OF WORK.
LOOK. CURIOUS GEORGE FOUND WALDO.
HE MIGHT BE OUT OF CHIPS, BUT HE AIN'T OUT OF MOVES.
THE MOST AMAZING THING ABOUT THE GREAT APES?
THEY'RE SO MUCH LIKE US.
"AFV" IS COMING RIGHT BACK.
ALL RIGHTY. YOU KNOW WHERE WE ARE?
WE'RE AT THE HALFWAY POINT --
THAT MUCH CLOSER TO GIVING SOMEONE $100,000.
IF YOU LISTEN CAREFULLY, YOU CAN HEAR THE FOOTSTEPS
OF IRS AGENTS AS THEY SURROUND THE BUILDING.
DON'T LET THAT DISTRACT YOU, THOUGH.
WE'VE GOT MORE VIDEOS TO WATCH.
EVEN IN THE ZOO,
NOBODY LIKES IT WHEN YOU CUT IN LINE.
IT'S IMPORTANT TO STRETCH AFTER ANY EXERCISE...
AND THEN COOL DOWN.
YEAH, IT'S COOL. IT'S FUNNY.
AFTER MANY YEARS OF TRYING,
MR. AND MRS. CLAUS WERE FINALLY BLESSED
WITH TRIPLETS.
GOOD THING HE'S THINNER THAN WHEN HE WENT IN THERE.
I THINK THAT'S THE FIFTH RULE OF COMEDY --
ALWAYS END THE PACKAGE WITH THE PORT-A-POTTY CLIP.
YOU EVER GO TO A RESTAURANT, STUDY THE MENU,
AND JUST WHEN YOU KNOW WHAT YOU WANT TO ORDER,
THE WAITER COMES BY WITH THE SPECIALS?
YOU GOT TO START FROM SQUARE ONE.
THAT WAS NOT A "HOLLYWOOD SQUARES" REFERENCE,
THOUGH I'M NOT ABOVE SLIPPING THEM IN.
WELL, JUST WHEN YOU THOUGHT YOU HAD YOUR FAVORITE FINALISTS
PICKED OUT, HERE ARE SOME MORE TO CHOOSE FROM.
THIS IS EMILY, MARY CLAIRE,
GRACE, AND ANNE. OKAY.
DADDY'S GOING TO MAKE YOU LAUGH NOW. READY?
[ MAKES GURGLING SOUND ]
[ GURGLING SOUND ]
[ GURGLING SOUND ]
[ GURGLING SOUND ]
DADDY'S JUST A REGULAR STAND-UP COMEDIAN, ISN'T HE?
STEPHANIE AND MATT, AND I LOVE YOU SO MUCH.
AND I HOPE YOU HAVE A LOT OF --
WHO WAS THAT?
[ PANTING ]
[ SNORTS ]
[ SNORTING ]
[ SNORTS ]
ALL SEASON LONG WE SHOW DOG CLIPS
TO PANDER TO THE DOG OWNERS.
THEN WE SHOW CAT CLIPS TO PANDER TO CAT OWNERS.
WE'VE STILL GOT SOME PANDERING LEFT IN US,
SO LET'S WATCH SOME DOGS AND CATS TOGETHER.
YOU CAN TRAIN A DOG TO FETCH OR SIT...
OR FETCH A PLACE FOR YOU TO SIT.
YOU KNOW, ALL BABIES NEED MILK TO GROW.
THEY'RE PROBABLY PART OF THE SAME LITTER.
EVERY DOG'S A SLED DOG.
IT'S JUST THAT SOME LIKE TO PULL,
AND SOME LIKE TO PUSH.
YOU KNOW THE PHRASE "AGILE AS A CAT"?
IT DOESN'T APPLY TO ALL OF THEM.
WILL YOU PASS OUT THE PRESENTS, PLEASE?
DOGS CAN BE LOYAL, TRUSTWORTHY,
AND PSYCHOTIC.
HE'S RIGHT -- IT IS TWO DAYS BEFORE CHRISTMAS.
I GUESS SHE DOESN'T WANT YOU TO PASS OUT THE PRESENTS.
EVERYBODY KNOWS CATS HATE WATER...
COME ON. OKAY!
EXCEPT WHEN THEY'RE ON VACATION.
ALL RIGHT. YAY!
OKAY. YAY! HEY!
WE'VE ASKED AN UNBIASED OBSERVER
WHICH ANIMAL HE THINKS IS THE FUNNIEST.
[ GIGGLING ]
NOW, THE TECHNICAL JOB DESCRIPTION
AS HOST OF "AFV" IS TO INTRODUCE CLIPS,
BUT I'VE TAKEN IT ON MYSELF TO DO MORE THAN JUST THAT.
I WANT TO GIVE REALLY BASHFUL PEOPLE
A CHANCE TO MAKE THEIR NATIONAL TELEVISION DEBUT.
HERE I HAVE REALLY BASHFUL LAURA.
REALLY BASHFUL LAURA, WHERE ARE YOU FROM?
LOS ANGELES.
REALLY BASHFUL LAURA IS FROM LOS ANGELES.
AND IS THIS THE FIRST TIME
YOU'VE EVER BEEN ON NATIONAL TELEVISION?
NO.
NO.
WHEN WERE YOU FIRST ON NATIONAL TV?
"PRICE IS RIGHT."
OKAY, APPARENTLY THE PRICE IS WRONG FOR LAURA RIGHT NOW,
SO LET'S WATCH THESE CLIPS.
BO DOESN'T KNOW WHAT HE LIKES BEST --
SLEDDING, SKATEBOARDING,
SLEDDING...
ALL RIGHT.
OH, HAND SHADOWS. I LOVE THESE.
SHE'S GOOD.
HOME!
HER BATTING AVERAGE MAY NOT BE GREAT,
BUT SHE'S GOT PLENTY OF SAVES.
SHE'S BEEN ANGRY EVER SINCE SHE WAS TRADED FROM THE ANGELS.
ANY EGG HUNTER WILL TELL YOU THERE'S ONLY ONE WAY
TO TELL IF THEY'RE HARD-BOILED OR NOT.
HELP HER, MOM.
I KNOW WHAT YOU'RE DOING AT HOME.
YOU'RE TRYING TO FIGURE OUT WHO'S GOING TO WIN.
YOU'VE PICKED YOUR FAVORITES.
MAYBE YOU EVEN HAVE A FEW BUCKS RIDING ON IT.
WELL, COOL YOUR JETS. YOU HAVE NOT YET SEEN
OUR FINAL FINALISTS.
I BIT RIGHT HERE,
AND THEN I PULLED REALLY HARD, AND IT SLIPPED OFF.
WELL, MAYBE IT'S HARDER FOR YOU.
MAYBE DADDY SHOULD TRY.
NO.
NO? RELAX.
HOW ABOUT MOMMY?
MOMMY'S REALLY GOOD.
SHE PULLED SIX OF MY TEETH. SHE'S PRETTY GOOD.
I THOUGHT I PULLED ALL YOUR TEETH.
NO, YOU DIDN'T PULL ANY OF MINE.
THIS IS REALLY --
YOU'LL GET IT OVER WITH, ANDY.
WHY DON'T YOU LET ONE OF US HELP YOU?
OKAY, OPEN UP SO I CAN GET THE TISSUE OUT.
OKAY. OKAY, ONE...
TWO...THREE...
ALL RIGHT.
AAH!
HAPPY, ANDY? HERE, YOU CAN HOLD IT,
BRIAN, GET AWAY.
IT DOESN'T HURT.
MR. WADE, I'M HONORED TO PRESENT TO YOU THIS AWARD.
WELL, THANK YOU VERY MUCH. I'M PROUD TO ACCEPT THIS AWARD
FOR 820 DAYS ON THE JOB WITHOUT AN ACCIDENT.
AAH!
OKAY, BACK HER UP.
MAKE HER GO BACKWARDS.
HEY!
I READ THAT WE ONLY SPEND 3% OF OUR TIME OUTDOORS.
WE'RE EITHER IN THE HOUSE, THE CAR, AT SCHOOL, THE OFFICE,
IN JAIL -- ALTHOUGH THERE, YOU DO GET
THAT HOUR OUT IN THE YARD EVERY DAY.
3% JUST ISN'T ENOUGH, SO WE'VE GOT SOME CLIPS
OF THE GREAT OUTDOORS, AND WHO KNOWS?
TOMORROW -- 4%.
THERE'S NOTHING LIKE THE OLD SWIMMING HOLE
ON A HOT DAY.
AND IF YOU FORGET YOUR TOWEL, YOU CAN AIR DRY.
LOOK -- MOTHER NATURE SAID, "PULL MY FINGER."
OH, I HOPE HE'S USING SNOW TIRES.
THIS KID LOVES THE SAND DUNE SO MUCH,
HE WANTS TO TAKE IT HOME...
YAY! OHH!
IN HIS MOUTH.
AREN'T I SO BAD FOR A LITTLE BOY?
MORE RAIN! MORE RAIN!
[ THUNDER CRASHES ]
YOU SHOULDN'T GO OUT THERE.
IT'S SCARY.
OKAY, OUR STUDIO AUDIENCE IS SOON GOING TO HAVE TO VOTE.
IT'S AN AWESOME RESPONSIBILITY.
I DON'T WANT TO GET YOU ALL STRESSED OUT.
JUST RELAX. CLEAR YOUR MIND.
YOU CAN FALL TO PIECES LATER WHEN YOU GET HOME.
[ PIANO MUSIC PLAYING ]
ALL RIGHT, YOU CAN FEEL IT IN THE AIR --
THE EXCITEMENT, NERVOUSNESS, ANXIETY.
THE SINGLE HAIR ON MY BACK IS BRISTLING WITH EXCITEMENT.
LET'S RECAP THE FIRST SEVEN OF OUR FINALISTS.
IN RANDOM ORDER, THEY ARE...
"NO HEADROOM," SENT IN BY TODD AND SHARON SWAN...
"PEDAL PUSHER," SENT IN BY STEVEN AND MICHELLE MARR...
"THE QUAD SQUAD," SENT IN BY STEVE AND ALLISON MATHIAS...
"MOW-DOWN," SENT IN BY DEBBIE WHITAKER...
"SAVIOR APPLAUSE," SENT IN BY ZACK HAYSLETT...
"SUPER SCOOPER," SENT IN BY JAMES YATES...
AND "MYSTERY KISSER," SENT IN BY STEPHANIE OWENS.
THOSE ARE THE FIRST OF OUR FINALISTS.
WE'LL SEE THE REST IN A MOMENT,
BUT BEFORE WE DO, I WANT TO TALK TO THE NOMINEES,
BECAUSE SOON ONE OF THEM
IS GOING TO BE SITTING ON A VERY BIG WALLET.
HAVE YOU THOUGHT ABOUT WHAT YOU'RE GOING TO DO
WITH THAT WINDFALL? MAYBE SEND YOUR KIDS TO COLLEGE,
GET GRANDMA THAT OPERATION SHE NEEDS.
MAYBE SHE DOESN'T EVEN NEED IT. YOU CAN BUY IT FOR HER ANYWAY.
YOU GOT THE MONEY NOW.
WE'VE WHIPPED UP A FEW OTHER SUGGESTIONS FOR YOU.
TAKE A LOOK.
FOR YOUR NEXT TRIP WITH YOUR JET-SETTING FRIENDS,
WHY DON'T YOU BUY YOUR OWN PLANE?
YOU CAN PICK UP A USED ONE FAIRLY REASONABLY.
AN EXOTIC VACATION TO MACHU PICCHU
MIGHT BE JUST WHAT THE DOCTOR ORDERED.
100 GRAND CAN GO A LONG WAY
WHEN YOU'RE REMODELING YOUR HOME.
OH!
JUSTIN!
WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
WAIT WHEN MOMMY COMES HOME.
AND WHY DON'T YOU KICK OFF YOUR CELEBRATION
BY THROWING A BLACK TIE AFFAIR
WHERE YOU CAN INVITE ALL THE RIGHT KINDS OF PEOPLE?
AND IF YOU STILL HAVE A HANKERING TO SPEND SOME GREEN,
YOU COULD BUY YOUR GUINEA PIG A TRAMPOLINE,
AND THEN A DOG TO BOUNCE IT.
ALL RIGHT, NOW THAT WE'VE SHOWN YOU
SOME WAYS TO SPEND THE MONEY,
LET'S SEE WHO MIGHT BE SPENDING IT.
OUR REMAINING FINALISTS IN RANDOM ORDER ARE...
"TELL THE TOOTH," SENT IN BY BETH AND SEAN KERRICK...
"BULLDOG DAY AFTERNOON," SENT IN BY DAVID COMEAU...
"HOLY SMOKES," SENT IN BY HOLLY AND SHANON ELLIOTT...
"BABY SHOWER," SENT IN BY LYLE AND VALERIE BITTMAN...
"SLINGSHOT HEARD AROUND THE WORLD,"
SENT IN BY ALICIA BARBOUR...
"TROUBLED DOG OVER WATER,"
SENT IN BY ANN AND CRAIG NOLL...
AND "DOWN IN THE BAYOU,"
SENT IN BY LYNN WADE.
OKAY, OKAY. ALL RIGHT, STUDIO AUDIENCE,
NOW'S THE TIME. I HOPE YOU'RE READY.
YOUR VOTE IS ABOUT TO CHANGE SOMEONE'S LIFE.
VOTE FOR YOUR FAVORITE CLIP NOW.
OKAY, NOW IT'S TIME TO ANNOUNCE THE WINNER.
I WANT TO SAY TO THE NOMINEES,
YOU'RE ALL WINNERS. THERE ARE NO LOSERS HERE.
IT'S JUST THAT SOME OF YOU WIN T-SHIRTS,
AND ONE OF YOU WINS $100,000.
THE WINNER OF THE $100,000 IS...
"THE QUAD SQUAD," SENT IN BY STEVE AND ALLISON MATHIAS
FROM LEXINGTON, SOUTH CAROLINA. WHERE ARE YOU?
COME OVER HERE.
COME ON OVER HERE. COME ON, COME ON.
CONGRATULATIONS.
CONGRATULATIONS. LINE UP OVER HERE.
LOOK AT THIS. HOLY MACKEREL!
ALL RIGHT.
STEVE, I KNOW --
BY THE WAY, YOU KNOW WHAT?
I WANT YOU TO KNOW THAT THE $100,000
IS GOING TO GO A LONG WAY TO PAY FOR THE KIDS' THERAPY,
BECAUSE THEY'LL NEVER BE ABLE TO LOOK AT STREAMERS
OR CONFETTI AGAIN. DO YOU HAVE ANY PLANS FOR IT AT ALL?
THE KIDS.
THE KIDS. YEAH. ABSOLUTELY.
BIGGER HOME. YOU KNOW WHAT?
YOU GUYS ARE WONDERFUL. WE ALL JOIN AMERICA
IN CONGRATULATING YOU, AND GOOD LUCK WITH THE KIDS.
GIVE THEM A HAND, WON'T YOU?
VERY NICE.
VERY NICE. YOU KNOW, I LOVE GIVING AWAY MONEY.
HERE'S SOMETHING ELSE I'M GOING TO GIVE AWAY --
A LITTLE ADVICE. LOG ON TO abc.com,
KEYWORD "AFV" TO SEE SOME VIDEOS
THAT WILL MAKE YOUR DESKTOP SMILE.
REMEMBER -- IF YOU GET IT ON TAPE,
YOU COULD GET IT IN CASH. GOOD NIGHT, EVERYBODY.
ALL OF OUR FINALISTS, COME ON DOWN. COME ON DOWN.