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(grunts) AAH!
(grunts) AAH!
ARE YOU READY FOR THE MAYHEM?!
(grunting)
AS 24 COMPETITORS FALL HEADLONG...
INTO A BATTLE FOR $50,000...
ON THE WORLD'S LARGEST AND MOST EXTRAORDINARY OBSTACLE COURSE.
WE'LL SEE MAGNIFICENT FALLS...
SENSATIONAL TUMBLES...
(screams)
ONLY OUR MIGHTIEST FOUR WILL ADVANCE
TO THE MOST CHALLENGING OBSTACLE COURSE OF ALL--
THE WIPEOUT ZONE.
THE EPIC COMPETITION BEGINS NOW.
ONE WILL BECOME A CHAMPION,
BUT ALL...
WILL WIPEOUT.
(woman) I NEED MY MOM.
HELLO, AMERICA, AND WELCOME TO "WIPEOUT."
I'M JOHN ANDERSON, AND WITH ME, AS ALWAYS--
TONIGHT WE'RE DOING A SPECIAL CROSSOVER EPISODE
WITH ONE OF MY FAVORITE SHOWS, "GREY'S ANATOMY."
MM, PATRICK DEMPSEY'S COMING?
NO, BUT ALL NIGHT LONG,
I'LL CALL YOU McFOUR-EYES, AND YOU CALL ME McHOT PANTS.
UH, NO, I WON'T, AND NO, YOU CAN'T.
TONIGHT 24 MEN AND WOMEN WILL BRAVELY TACKLE
THE BIGGEST OBSTACLE COURSE EVER ASSEMBLED.
HOW ABOUT McAWESOME? McHANDSOME? McBIG BALLS?
McSTOP IT.
THE LAST ONE STANDING AT THE END OF THE DAY
BUT IN ORDER TO GET THE CASH,
THEY'LL HAVE TO CONQUER THE WIPEOUT QUALIFIER.
KNOCK ON OUR DOORS, AND THEY'LL RING YOUR BELL.
OUR WIPEOUTS NOW COME IN A RAINBOW OF COLORS.
FOLLOWED BY THE BIG BALLS
LOOK, THEY'RE SO EXCITED, THEY'RE JUMPING UP AND DOWN.
THEN IT'S ON TO THE EARTH-MOVING SHAKE-A-LATOR.
THAT IS A 9.0 ON THE WIPEOUT SCALE.
'ROUND AND 'ROUND SHE GOES.
OF OUR STARTING FIELD OF 24 COMPETITORS,
ONLY THOSE WITH THE TOP 12 TIMES WILL MOVE PAST THE QUALIFIER
WELL, JOHNNY, LET'S GET STARTED.
NOW WAITING AT THE TOP OF THE COURSE
IS OUR FIRST COMPETITOR OF THE DAY,
(smacking)
AND A LITTLE SPICY?
THIS IS ANDREA MANSOOR, AND SHE SAYS
EARLIER OUR McSIDELINE REPORTER JILL WAGNER
SPOKE TO HER ABOUT IT.
OKAY, SO, UH, ANDREA, WHAT DO YOU DO FOR A LIVING?
UM, I'M UNEMPLOYED. I DON'T DO ANYTHING.
I REALLY DO. (chuckles)
UM, I'M ACTUALLY GONNA GET A NOSE JOB.
(bell dings)
IT'S PERFECT FOR OUR "GREY'S ANATOMY" TIE-IN.
ANDREA WANTS A NOSE JOB,
AAH!
THE DOOR KNOCK WILL PROVIDE A MILD ANESTHETIC.
(thud)
(laughs) WHOA. THAT'LL PUT HER UNDER.
JOHN, SHE SHOULD NOT HAVE CHOSEN NUMBER 2.
SHE WAS HAMMERED... BY, YOU KNOW, A GIANT HAMMER.
YEAH. ALL RIGHT, ANDREA,
NOW THAT YOU'RE FEELING A LITTLE WOOZY,
IT'S TIME TO CONSULT WITH OUR EAR, NOSE AND THROAT SPECIALIST,
THE SUCKER PUNCH.
AAH!
AAH!
(slo-mo) AAH!
OH, MY GOSH. THIS IS RIDICULOUS!
ANDREA, THERE IS NOTHING RIDICULOUS
ABOUT OUR BIG BALLS... EXCEPT NOW THEY MOVE UP AND DOWN,
I'M GONNA COME AND JUMP ON YOU!
YES, JUMPING IS THE PREFERRED METHOD
AAH!
AND THAT IS THE PREFERRED METHOD FOR FALLING OFF THE BIG BALLS.
(clank)
NOW ON TO DR. SHAKE-A-LATOR,
WHERE ANDREA WILL GET A FULL FACIAL REALIGNMENT.
SHE SIMPLY NEEDS TO MAKE IT FROM ONE SIDE TO THE OTHER
(laughs)
MM.
HOPING HER FACE DOESN'T BECOME A PICASSO PAINTING
AAH!
OHH, McSHAKE-A-LATED!
AAH!
YEAH, SHE NEEDS TO STOP TOUCHING THAT HONKER
(creaking)
FINAL OBSTACLE HERE--
GET THROUGH ONE OF THE SHAPES AND MAKE IT
(swish, tap)
OW!
(laughs) OOH.
SHE NIPPED, TUCKED AND ROLLED HER WAY
OW!
SO NOW SHE'LL HAVE TO GO OVER TO THE ALTERNATE ENDING SPOT.
ANDREA--GONNA FINISH WITH A TIME OF AROUND 4 1/2 MINUTES.
AND WITH A BRAND-NEW NOSE, "WIPEOUT" STYLE.
NOW HOLD YOUR HEAD UP HIGH
(boing)
WHOA. I THINK WE WENT McOVERBOARD.
(squeak, boing)
(military march plays)
OOH, JOHN, SHE'S TOUGH. WHAT IS SHE, LAW ENFORCEMENT?
THAT'S JILL'S JOB, TO GET ANSWERS TO YOUR QUESTIONS.
I'M A MIDDLE SCHOOL P.E. TEACHER.
(John H.) OKAY, NOW I'M SCARED.
YOU KNOW WHAT? NEVER GIVE UP. NEVER SURRENDER.
(John H.) DEBORAH'S CLASS MAY BE READY FOR A DODGEBALL WAR,
(grunts)
(laughs) OHH! TAKE THAT, YOU P.E. TEACHERS!
NOW WHO'S THE SCRAWNY LITTLE WUSS
(grunts)
ARE YOU HAVING GYM CLASS FLASHBACKS, JOHNNY?
(smack)
OOH.
(laughs, normal voice) NOW MIGHT BE A GOOD TIME
(panting) NEVER GIVE UP. NEVER SURRENDER.
(grunt)
DEBBIE, YOU'RE RIGHT.
UH-OH.
WAIT A MINUTE.
NEVER GIVE UP. NEVER SURR--
OHH! DEBORAH HAS GOT ENOUGH DETERMINATION
FOR A 50-FOOT TALL WOMAN.
THAT WAS JUST A METAPHOR, JILL.
NEVER GIVE UP! NEVER SURRENDER!
MAYBE THE SHAKE-A-LATOR WILL SHAKE HER CONFIDENCE.
(squeaking, whirring)
NEVER GIVE UP!
WELL, YA NEED TO GET UP AND JUMP ACROSS.
OKAY! (grunts)
AH.
DEBORAH NEEDS TO PICK UP THE PACE HERE.
(Jill) NEVER GIVE UP! NEVER SURRENDER!
(Deborah) NEVER GIVE UP!
(grunts)
(laughs)
JILL, DEBORAH BLACKWELL TOOK HER SHOT...
BUT SHE NEVER GAVE UP
(kisses)
YEAH, UH, LET'S GO BACK TO THE TOP OF THE COURSE.
I'M GONNA ROCK THIS COURSE! (singsongy) YEAH.
WOW. LOOKS LIKE HOOTIE ATE THE BLOWFISH.
JOHN, THIS IS ACTUALLY SCOTT GRIGGERS.
OH, GREAT.
WELL, LET'S SEE IF "MR. FIX-IT" CAN FIX THESE TRICKY DOORS.
(thud)
OHH!
THE DOOR KNOCK UNHINGING MR. FIX-IT'S PARTS.
HEY, WAIT A MINUTE. I'M STARTING TO THINK
JUST NOW FIGURING THAT OUT, ARE YA?
(contestants grunt and scream)
YOU ARE A HUMAN CALCULATOR, MY FRIEND.
CONTESTANTS STRUGGLING ALL ACROSS OUR COURSE TODAY.
AAH!
(laughs) WHOA. DID SHE JUST TAKE A DOOR WITH HER?
AT THE SUCKER PUNCH, THEY'RE EITHER HITTING THE CANVAS...
OR GETTING PAINTED LIKE ONE.
AAH!
AAH!
OHH!
(squeak)
(laughs) OH!
ARR.
(imitates contestant's groan)
(crunch)
♪♪♪
(thud)
(laughs) OHH.
(fanfare playing)
HEY, MAYBE A SUPERHERO CAN TACKLE THIS COURSE.
THIS IS JASON DE MURO, AND HE HAS SUPER POWERS,
BUT IN CHEMISTRY.
JILL FOUND OUT HE RECENTLY WON A SCIENCE FAIR.
UM, WE DID A-A MICROSCALE METHOD
(John H.) THIS GUY IS SUPER BORING.
SO BASICALLY, LIKE, WE WOULD TAKE, LIKE,
(John H. snoring)
(snorts, yawns) OH, I GUESS HIS SUPER POWER
...EQUATIONS.
YEAH, THEY WERE-- THEY'RE AWESOME. THEY'RE COOL.
(creaking)
LET'S SEE IF... (deepens voice) CAPTAIN CHEMISTRY
(laughs) THAT'S A GOOD ONE.
I THINK HE'S GONNA NEED TO CALL HIS SIDEKICK,
DUN-DA-DA-DA! OW.
MM. OOH.
DUN-DA-DA-DA! OW.
(explosion)
(screaming)
(deepens voice) CAPTAIN CHEMISTRY!
LET'S SEE IF 19-YEAR-OLD MARATHON RUNNER ASHLEY MORGAN
YOU KNOW, JOHN, OUR COURSE IS KINDA LIKE A MARATHON,
AAH!
HAMMERS?
AAH!
DON'T KNOW. JILL?
(Russian music playing)
(Russian accent) THANK YOU.
(whoosh)
AND WHEN I WIN AND TAKE YOUR MONEY,
I'M GONNA HAVE A BEAUTIFUL AMERICAN BABY.
(boing)
OF COURSE IT'S GONNA BE BEAUTIFUL.
AND I ALREADY HAVE A NICE-- REALLY NICE *** DONOR...
(bloop)
AND I THINK, UH, MY COUNTRY WILL BE PROUD OF ME.
WOW. A-AND WHERE ARE YOU FROM ORIGINALLY?
(missiles firing and whistling)
IT'S A COMMUNIST C--
OKAY, I SHOULDN'T SAY THAT. (laughs)
(explosions)
ALL RIGHT, JILL, HERE COMES OUR "*** MOMMY"
RIGHT UP TO THE DOOR KNOCK.
IF SHE CAN PASS THROUGH THE IRON CURTAIN,
SHE'LL BE ONE STEP CLOSER TO WINNING THAT BABY.
MM. OHH, BABY!
OHH.
(grunts)
WELL, LET'S HOPE YANA'S LUCK IMPROVES WITH THE SUCKER PUNCH.
(laughs) NO, IT ISN'T.
(smack)
THE SUCKER PUNCH...
(grunts)
(grunting)
WHO HAS BEEN ON THE SHAKE-A-LATOR
(whirring, squeaking)
OHH.
IF YOU EXPERIENCE A SHAKE-A-LATOR
BOY, OH, BOY, OH, BOY.
DIFFERENT COMMERCIAL THERE, McGENIUS.
HOWEVER, IT APPEARS RONALD'S FINALLY GETTING UP
(thudding)
I DON'T KNOW, JOHN.
(grunting and groaning) AAH!
AAH! AH. AH. AH.
PERHAPS THIS WOULD BE A CONVENIENT TIME
TAKE A BREAK? I CAN'T STOP WATCHING.
(thudding and whirring continues)
(Ronald) AAH! (grunts)
(thudding and whirring continues in distance)
MM... NO, I DON'T THINK SO.
OKAY. WELL, I WAS WORRIED THERE FOR A MINUTE.
(woman) AAH!
AND A WHOLE LOT MORE WIPEOUTS RIGHT AFTER THIS.
♪♪♪
(rhythmic thudding and whirring in distance)
WELCOME BACK TO "WIPEOUT," WHERE WE HAVE 24 COMPETITORS
ALL VYING FOR $50,000, BUT ONLY 12 OF THEM
WILL TAKE THE NEXT STEP AND INTO OUR NEXT ROUND.
WAIT A MINUTE. IS HE STILL UP THERE?
(snaps fingers) HAND ME THE REMOTE TO THIS THING.
JOHNNY, I'LL TAKE CARE OF THIS.
(clicks switch)
IS INCREASE THE SPEED JUST A LITTLE BIT.
(grunting) AAH! AAH.
(thudding speeds up)
AAH!
ALL RIGHT. PROBLEM SOLVED. JILL, WHO'S NEXT?
ALL RIGHT. THANK YOU, FELLAS. I'M DOWN HERE WITH KODI ELZIE.
THE FLUFFY DIVA IS HERE. YEAH! (laughs)
(stretch, pop)
'CAUSE I GAINED SO MUCH WEIGHT.
I'M LIKE, SO WHAT? I'M STILL CUTE.
I'M STILL A DIVA, SO, HEY, AND NOW I'M JUST A FLUFFY DIVA.
SO $50,000 IS A TON OF MONEY.
WHAT DO YOU PLAN ON BUYING FIRST?
UH... LIPO. (laughs)
(John H.) NO, YOU CAN'T TAKE THE FLUFF
LET'S WATCH HOW THE DIVA DOES AGAINST THE DOOR KNOCK.
THE DIVA WILL PREVAIL! WHOO!
THAT'S THE ATTITUDE, KODI. THERE'S NO "YOU" IN WIPEOUT.
(thud)
AH.
OHH! AH!
(thud)
SORT OF LIKE, YOU KNOW, FLUFF IN AN OLD CUSHION.
WELL, IT LOOKS LIKE...
SHE'S ABLE TO FLUFF HERSELF UP.
YEAH, SHE'S DOING GREAT, AND I'M SURE THAT FLUFFY EXTERIOR
(smack, squeak)
OHH!
OHH! OHH.
OHH. (laughs)
JOHN, GETTING THE STUFFING KNOCKED OUT OF HER.
GOTTA IMAGINE THIS IS WHAT IT'S LIKE
(panting) THAT'S-- THAT'S CRUEL. OHH.
HEY, JOHN, WHO'S THIS TINY LITTLE GUY?
WELL, AT 5'4",
THIS IS OUR SMALLEST MALE COMPETITOR OF THE DAY,
AND AS JILL DISCOVERED, HE'S A TINY MAN WITH A BIG NAME.
OKAY, GUYS, I'VE GOT JOEL GRANDE DOWN HERE WITH ME.
THANKS, JILL, FOR HAVING ME.
OKAY, SO, JOEL, TELL US SOMETHING
UH, WELL, I USED TO WORK FOR A CANDY COMPANY.
YOU DID? LIKE A-- LIKE A CHOCOLATE FACTORY?
(high-pitched voice) MAYBE. (laughs)
(John H.) AW, HE'S ADORABLE. CAN I TAKE HIM HOME?
(Jill) DADDY, I WANT AN OOMPA LOOMPA.
(John A.) SO WE HAVE AN 80-POUND OOMPA LOOMPA
AND A 1,000-POUND HAMMER.
(thud)
OHH! (laughs)
(thud)
OOMPA LOOMPA. LOOMPADEE DOO,
(grunts)
(thud)
(grunts) AAH!
AAH! AH!
(laughs)
JOHN, UP AHEAD ON THE COURSE, 42-YEAR-OLD KURT FULLER.
HE'S TAKING QUITE A RIDE ON THE SHAKE-A-LATOR.
(thud, squeak)
(laughs)
BEFORE HE WENT HEAD OVER HEELS,
NOW I UNDERSTAND THAT YOU'VE GOT
ABSOLUTELY, JILL. EVERY SATURDAY MORNING,
I GET UP EARLY AND I FEED THE BIRDS,
(crow caws, splat)
AW, YOU'RE LIKE CINDERELLA.
(John A.) KURT FULLER
(Jill) GO, KURT!
OH, JOHN, THAT'S A SYMPTOM OF THE BIRD FLU.
WELL, LET'S HOPE HE HAS ENOUGH ENERGY TO TAKE FLIGHT.
COME ON! (grunts)
(laughs) OHH!
AAH!
(grunts) AAH!
KURT FULLER PERCHED AT THE FINISH SPOT
(bird squawks, splat)
JOHN, LET'S CHECK OUT HOLLY HANSON,
WHO SAYS SHE'S GOING TO USE HER SWISS HERITAGE
HAVE THE SWISS EVER CONQUERED ANYTHING?
(screams)
AH, JUST THE COCOA THING, REALLY.
YEAH, I LOVE THOSE.
BOASTING THAT SHE'S GOT IT IS SARA HASTINGS,
AND, JOHN, SHE'S ALSO GOT A NICKNAME--"CHEWY."
JILL, HELP US OUT.
OKAY, GUYS. I'VE GOT SARA HASTINGS DOWN HERE WITH ME.
WELCOME TO THE SHOW, SARA. ARE YOU A BIG FAN?
(imitates Chewbacca grunting)
ALL RIGHT. SO I-I KNOW YOU'VE THOUGHT OF A STRATEGY, RIGHT?
(John H.) HEY, ASK HER WHY THEY CALL HER "CHEWY."
SO ALL OF YOUR FRIENDS AND YOUR FAMILY,
DO THEY KNOW YOU'RE COMING ON THE SHOW?
(imitates Chewbacca grunting)
GOOD JOB, CHEWY!
(John H.) YEAH, SHE'S HOPING THAT THE BIG BALLS
WISH I HADN'T.
OH!
(bleep)
HEY, CHEWY CAN SPEAK.
WELL, JILL, MAYBE OUR LAST CONTESTANT FRANK BEASLEY...
CAN CLEAN IT ALL UP AND CONQUER THIS COURSE.
(loud rumbling)
HUH. YOU DON'T SAY.
(air horn blows)
JILL, YOU OKAY DOWN THERE?
WELL, AT LEAST THE WIND DIED DOWN. (chuckles)
(John H.) WELL, JILL, YOU DON'T HAVE TO WORRY FOR LONG,
BECAUSE FRANK BEASLEY IS ABOUT TO GET THE WIND
KNOCKED OUT OF HIM BY OUR DOOR KNOCK.
OH! OH, MY GOD. HE'S LIKE A HEAVY METAL NINJA.
OH! AIR KNOCK. THAT'S NOT SUPPOSED TO HAPPEN.
FRANK ESCAPING AND HEADS OVER TO THE SUCKER PUNCH WALL.
AND HE LOOKS TO BE CLIMBING THE WALL.
YEAH, HE'S PUTTING UP QUITE A FIGHT...
BUT HE IS GETTING POUNDED.
OHH! THE FORBIDDEN SPEED BAG.
OH! AND HE'S STILL GOING, JOHNNY.
HE'S NOT A FORCE OF NATURE. HE'S A FREAK OF NATURE.
(rumbles)
ALL RIGHT, THIS GUY'S STARTING TO FREAK ME OUT A LITTLE BIT.
(grunts)
AH, BUT HE'S NO MATCH FOR THE BIG BALLS.
FRANK IS CRAZY.
WELL, HE'S MAKING GOOD TIME APPROACHING THE SHAKE-A-LATOR,
(whirring)
HE'S QUICKLY AROUND TO THE BACK SIDE,
BUT IT'S THIS FINAL LEAP THAT GIVES EVERYBODY TROUBLE.
OH!
WOW. HE'S FLYING THROUGH THE COURSE.
WELL, UNLESS THE SHAPE-SHIFTER
SENDS FRANK TO ANOTHER DIMENSION,
HERE HE GOES.
OH!
TALK ABOUT A SQUARE DUDE IN A ROUND HOLE.
BUDDY, THIS AIN'T A FERRIS WHEEL, HUH?
TWO MORE TICKETS, OR YOU GOTTA GET OFF.
YES!
"FREAK OF NATURE" FRANK BEASLEY WILL BE MOVING ON,
AND I'LL BE FINDING A HIDING SPOT WHERE HE CAN'T FIND ME.
ALSO MOVING ON,
WE'VE GOT CAPTAIN CHEMISTRY JASON DE MURO,
OOMPA OOMPA JOEL GRANDE,
DEBORAH "NEVER GIVE UP, NEVER SURRENDER" BLACKWELL,
*** MOMMY YANA ZHERNOVA AND SCOTT "MR. FIX-IT" GRIGGERS.
AND WHEN WE RETURN, OUR 12 CONTESTANTS
AAH!
OHH!
♪♪♪
HELLO AGAIN, AND WELCOME BACK HERE TO "WIPEOUT."
WE STARTED WITH 24 CONTESTANTS, BUT AFTER OUR QUALIFIER,
WE ARE DOWN TO 12. LET'S TAKE A LOOK AND SEE WHO'S LEFT.
WE HAVE FRANK "FREAK OF NATURE" BEASLEY,
CAPTAIN CHEMISTRY JASON DE MURO
WE ALSO HAVE
DEBORAH "NEVER GIVE UP, NEVER SURRENDER" BLACKWELL,
(imitates Chewbacca grunting)
(crow caws, splat)
FINE CONTESTANTS ALL OF THEM, BUT NOT ALL OF THEM CAN STAY.
OH, SWEET, SWEET DOUBLE CROSS.
DOUBLE THE WIPEOUTS, QUADRUPLE MY PLEASURE.
YOU SEE, IT'S FUNNY BECAUSE IT'S NOT ME.
ARE YOU TRYING TO CALL ME FAT?
HERE'S HOW THE DOUBLE CROSS WORKS.
OUR 12 CONTESTANTS STAND ON A 10-FOOT-HIGH STARTING PLATFORM
AS FOUR PLANKS MOVE IN A CIRCULAR MOTION.
CONTESTANTS MUST JUMP ON TO ONE OF THE GREEN PLANKS TO BEGIN,
THEN USE THE ONE RED PLANK TO GET OFF TO THE FINISH PLATFORM.
ADDING TO THE INTRIGUE OF IT ALL, JOHNNY,
THERE ARE FOUR SWEEPER ARMS
MM.
AAH!
IT MEANS YOU HAVE TO START THE WHOLE THING ALL OVER AGAIN.
IT'S A SINGLE HEAT WITH THE FIRST SIX TO MAKE IT ACROSS
IT'S LIKE A HUMAN FOOD PROCESSOR. MM-MMM!
OUR CONTESTANTS ARE ON THAT PLATFORM AND READY TO GO.
ALL RIGHT. LET'S GET DOWN TO THE ACTION.
JOHNNY, I HAVE NOT SEEN A LIVELIER BUNCH OF CONTESTANTS
GOOD LUCK, YOU GUYS!
ME FIRST. OH, ME FIRST. COME ON, COME ON!
THERE'S THE HORN. THE GAME HAS BEGUN.
(man shouts indistinctly)
I DON'T KNOW IF THEY'RE WAITING FOR THE RIGHT MOMENT
OH, IT'S DEBORAH MAKING THE BOLD FIRST MOVE.
THE P.E. TEACHER FAILS THE DOUBLE CROSS
JOEL "OOMPA LOOMPA" GRANDE WITH AN ATTEMPT.
OH!
OH! AND VERUCA ASSAULTED BY THE SWEEPER ARM.
LET'S LOOK AT THAT IN WONKA VISION.
OOH!
BY OUR EVERLASTING CONTESTANT STOPPER.
(screams)
MR. FIX-IT SCOTT GRIGGERS. RATCHETING IT UP FOR AN ATTEMPT.
AND MR. FIX-IT GETS PLASTERED.
CAPTAIN CHEMISTRY, FASTER THAN A SPEEDING BULLET--
OOH, DISCOVERED THE CHEMICAL FORMULA FOR "OW."
OOH! CHEWY, MAKE THE JUMP TO LIGHT SPEED.
OOH. CUT DOWN BY OUR LIGHTSABER.
THE OOMPA LOOMPA MAKING A DARING DASH ON THE GREEN PLANK
AND IS FINALLY TO THE CENTER.
NOW REMEMBER, HE HAS TO EXIT OFF THE RED PLANK.
OH!
TAKES THE WONKAVATOR DOWN TO THE BOTTOM FLOOR.
MARATHONER--OOH! HITS THE WALL. AAH!
THE WALL HITS HER. THE DOUBLE CROSS MAKING SURE
OUR MARATHONER SHOULD HAVE CROSS-TRAINED FOR THIS--
DOUBLE CROSS-TRAINED.
(squeals)
(grunts)
LOOKIT, JOHNNY, THE SWEEPER ARM
(vulture squawks, splat)
JOHN, THE BIRDMAN LEAVES THE CENTER LIKE A BAT OUT OF--
OH, THERE WE GO! HE'LL BE THE FIRST ONE TO MAKE IT.
WHOO-HOO! YEAH!
AND IS THE FIRST TO ADVANCE.
(shouts indistinctly)
CAPTAIN CHEMISTRY TO THE CENTER NOW.
HE'S GOT TO WAIT FOR THAT RED PLANK, THOUGH,
(laughs)
OH, YEAH, DID I FORGET TO MENTION THAT?
YOU SEE, THE PLATFORM TILTS RANDOMLY,
MAKING IT A PARTICLE COLLIDER FOR...
JOEL GRANDE GIVING IT A TRY-- LINES UP THE RED PLANKS,
YEAH!
WHOO!
YOU MEAN $50,000.
COME ON!
NOW IT'S FREAK OF NATURE FRANK BEASLEY
AND DEBORAH BLACKWELL. I DON'T THINK THAT PLANK IS BIG ENOUGH
I DON'T THINK IT'S BIG ENOUGH FOR EITHER OF THEM.
UNFORTUNATELY, THAT'S ALSO GRAVITY'S MOTTO.
IT'S A BIRD. IT'S A PLANE. NO, IT'S CAPTAIN CHEMISTRY,
OH, WOW!
AND THAT LEAVES THREE SPOTS.
(Jill) OHH!
YEAH!
(Joel) SECOND TIME!
I LOVE THIS THING, AND IT'S ESPECIALLY GRATIFYING
TO SEE FRANK WIPING OUT HERE,
MR. FIX-IT FOLLOWS HIS BLUEPRINT,
TRYING TO BUILD TOWARD A VICTORY.
(man) COME ON, COME ON, COME ON!
PLEASE LET IT TILT. PLEASE LET IT TILT.
HE MAKES IT.
JUST IN TIME TO BE OUR FOURTH ACROSS.
*** MOMMY YANA ZHERNOVA RUSHIN' TO THE CENTER. OHH!
DOWN SHE GOES.
WE BROUGHT THE HAMMER, AND OUR RUSSIAN BROUGHT THE SICKLE.
WITH TWO SPOTS LEFT TO GO, FREAK OF NATURE BEASLEY
(man) RUN! GO, BABY!
YEAH! YEAH!
I DON'T LIKE THAT THING VERY MUCH.
SORRY, SIR. WE'LL MAKE SURE NOTHING ANGERS YOU
IN THE NEXT ROUND. (chuckles nervously)
YEAH?
ONLY THE FINEST ATHLETES CAN ADVANCE,
AND BY FINEST ATHLETES I MEAN OVERWEIGHT MIDDLE-AGED GUYS
ONE SPOT LEFT TO GO, AND OUR MARATHONER--OOH!
(contestants all shouting at once)
(screams)
OHH!
(chuckles) OH! SO CLOSE, JOHNNY. JUST SWISS MISSED IT.
SO WE HAVE TWO LADIES GOING HEAD-TO-HEAD
FOR THAT LAST SPOT WITH A SHOT AT $50,000 ON THE LINE.
"NEVER SURRENDER" BLACKWELL MAKES A BREAK FOR IT!
(screams) YEAH!
WONDER WHAT SHE'S GONNA SAY NEXT?
NEVER GIVE UP! NEVER SURRENDER!
"TARNATIONS"?
APPARENTLY, SHE ALSO DOESN'T GIVE UP ON EXCLAMATIONS
SHE'LL BE JOINING THE OOMPA LOOMPA JOEL GRANDE,
CAPTAIN CHEMISTRY JASON DE MURO,
KURT "THE BIRDMAN" FULLER, OUR MR. FIX-IT, SCOTT GRIGGERS,
AND OF COURSE FREAK OF NATURE FRANK BEASLEY.
BUT BEFORE THEY CAN GET TO THE WIPEOUT ZONE
(yelps)
(screams)
WE ARE BACK ON "WIPEOUT"...
WHERE IF YOU'RE UP FOR THE CHALLENGE,
WE WILL KNOCK YOU DOWN AND MAKE FUN OF YOU
HALF OF OUR 12 SECOND ROUND CONTESTANTS
WERE DOUBLE-CROSSED, LEAVING US SIX PEOPLE STILL IN THE RUNNING
FOR THE $50,000 PRIZE. HERE'S A LOOK AT 'EM.
DEBORAH "NEVER GIVE UP, NEVER SURRENDER" BLACKWELL,
JOEL "OOMPA LOOMPA" GRANDE...
(deepens voice) CAPTAIN CHEMISTRY JASON DE MURO,
(bird squawks)
(Frank grunts)
THE FREAK OF NATURE, FRANK BEASLEY.
BUT IF OUR CONTESTANTS WANT TO MOVE ON TO THE WIPEOUT ZONE,
THEY'D BETTER BE WEARING SOME SUNSCREEN,
YEAH, NO FUN IN THE SUN TO BE HAD HERE, JOHNNY.
MNH-MNH.
OUR CONTESTANTS WILL ALL BE ON OUR BEACH PARTY SPINNER
AH, BUT THEY'VE GOTTA JUMP OVER THE SWEEPER ARM
AS IT SWINGS AROUND. GO UNDER IT OR INTO THE WATER,
AND YOU ARE OUT. THERE'S ALSO A $1,000 BONUS UP FOR GRABS
WE WILL PLAY FOUR ROUNDS,
AND THE WINNER OF EACH OF THOSE ROUNDS
FILLS ONE OF THE SPOTS AVAILABLE IN THE LATE-NIGHT BONFIRE
KNOWN AS THE WIPEOUT ZONE.
ALL RIGHT, TIME TO GET THINGS STARTED.
OUR CONTESTANTS' ENDLESS SUMMER IS ABOUT TO GET ENDLESSER.
JOHNNY, LOOKS LIKE THE FINAL SIX ARE UP
YOU KNOW, THIS IS A LITTLE INTENSE.
WELL, FRANK, IT'S GONNA GET EVEN MORE INTENSE
YOU KNOW, JOHNNY, WHEN I WAS A KID,
(alert whoops)
YEAH, BUT THEY DIDN'T KNOW.
AND WE ARE OFF.
OH! OOMPA LOOMPA SMACKED DOWN. IS HE EVEN TALL ENOUGH
OOH!
BEACH BALLS ARE FLYING, AND SO IS MR. FIX-IT.
WELL, OOMPA LOOMPA'S ABOUT 3 FEET TALL.
THERE'S NO WAY HE'S GONNA MAKE IT OVER A 4-FOOT BAR--
AND MR. FIX-IT IS PURE PUTTY IN OUR SWEEPER'S ARMS.
LET'S HOPE HE WEATHERPROOFED HIMSELF.
NOW OUR LIFEGUARDS ARE FULLY TRAINED IN C.P.R.
THAT'S RIGHT, AS IN "CONTESTANT PELTING REPEATEDLY."
(grunts)
JOHN, THE BEACH PARTY'S IN FULL SWING.
THESE FOUR ARE TAKING THE HITS BUT STAYING FOCUSED.
YEAH, FRANK WITH A CRAZED LOOK IN HIS EYE,
NO, I THINK HE'S EYING THAT RING.
CHA-CHING! 1,000 BUCKS WILL BUY FRANK
(whoosh)
FRANK WISELY TOSSES THE RING
OH!
OH! LORD OF THE RINGS, HE'S DONE.
WHOA INDEED, JILL.
OOH-RAH!
(Frank grunts in falsetto voice)
AAH!
IF HE GOES ANY FURTHER, HE MIGHT BE LORD OF THE NEUTERED.
(grunting)
(chuckles)
(grunting)
(groans)
BIRDMAN OUT FOR THIS ROUND.
GUYS, IT'S DEBORAH AND JASON, NECK AND NECK.
(grunts)
(deepens voice) CAPTAIN CHEMISTRY...
OHH!
NEVER GIVE UP! NEVER SURREN--
THERE'S YOUR ANSWER, JOHNNY.
WHOA! WOW!
WELL, AS WE SEE IT AGAIN, JOHNNY, YOU NOTICE HERE
CAPTAIN CHEMISTRY WAS ON HIS WAY OUT,
SO IN THAT CASE, DEBORAH WAS ALREADY THE WINNER.
(chuckles) OH! YEAH, LOOK AT IT.
ALL RIGHT, WE'RE ON TO ROUND TWO.
(screams indistinctly)
(falsetto voice) COME ON!
JOHNNY, ROUND TWO IS UNDERWAY,
BUT OUR CONTESTANTS STILL LOOK TIRED FROM ROUND ONE.
(squeaks)
RIGHT ON CUE. OHH!
OHH, OOMPA LOOMPA'S DOWN AGAIN.
(boing)
OH! CAPTAIN CHEMISTRY REGAINS HIS pH BALANCE.
OH, BUT OUR CHEMISTRY SUPERHERO TAKES ANOTHER CHEMICAL SPILL.
BIRDMAN SMACKED WITH A WET TOWEL.
AND NOW HE'S FLYING BLIND AGAIN.
UH, WOULDN'T THAT MAKE HIM A BAT MAN?
THE BIRDMAN OUT FOR THIS ROUND.
AND NOW WE ARE JUST DOWN TO THREE.
THE OOMPA LOOMPA FALLS IN THE DRINK. HE IS OUT.
OH!
(slide whistle slides)
THAT MEANS FREAK OF NATURE IS MOVING ON TO THE WIPEOUT ZONE.
NOW, JOHN, I'M HOPING YOU TWO CAN MAKE NICE.
I LOVE YOU GUYS. THIS IS QUITE A CONTRAPTION.
YEAH, WE LOVE YOU, TOO, FRANK.
OOH-RAH!
OKAY, JOHNNY, READY FOR ANOTHER GO,
AND IT DOESN'T APPEAR OOMPA LOOMPA HAS GROWN ANY
NO, LOOK AT HIM.
(alert whoops, whistle blows)
NO HEIGHT DIVISIONS IN "WIPEOUT," THOUGH.
YEAH, AND WENT SOUTH FOR THE REST OF THE ROUND.
OOMPA LOOMPA SIDE BY SIDE WITH THE BIG BOYS.
(screams)
OHH! THE OOMPA LOOMPA LANDS ON HIS FACE.
OOMPA LOOMPA, DOOMPADEE DOO, THE SWEEPER ARM'S GOT
AND THIS TIME, THE CANDY MAN LEVELS THE HANDYMAN.
HE'S IN FOR A WONKA WASH.
(boing)
CAPTAIN CHEMISTRY BOOKS A PLACE IN THE WIPEOUT ZONE.
YEAH!
(laughs) OH!
(laughing)
THREE CONTESTANTS LEFT, JOHN. NO MORE SECOND CHANCES.
AND MR. FIX-IT AND THE BIRDMAN BETTER WATCH OUT
ALL RIGHT, THIS IS OUR FINAL ROUND.
HEY NOW, AMERICA! THIS IS WHAT IT'S ABOUT.
(John H.) WHEN FRANK TALKS TO AMERICA,
(alert whoops, whistle blows)
(boing)
BIRDMAN HOPING THIS WON'T BE HIS SWAN SONG
ON OUR COURSE TODAY. BUT HE NEEDS TO GET UP QUICK!
(grunts)
OH! HE'S DOWN AND OUT.
MR. FIX-IT AND OOMPA LOOMPA NECK AND NECK,
(woman) OH, NO!
OH!
(grunts)
OOMPA LOOMPA DOWN AGAIN, RECOVERING.
OH, THE SWEEPER ARM NAILS 'EM! WOW! BOTH MEN ARE DOWN.
WE HAVE A PHOTO FINISH.
(grunts)
BUT MR. FIX-IT HITS THE WATER FIRST,
AND IT'S THE OOMPA LOOMPA WHO WINS A GOLDEN TICKET
TO THE WIPEOUT ZONE.
(high-pitched scream)
JOINING OOMPA LOOMPA WILL BE
DEBORAH "NEVER GIVE UP, NEVER SURRENDER" BLACKWELL,
(Frank grunts)
STICK AROUND, BECAUSE THE FINAL FOUR
(grunts)
THE WIPEOUT ZONE, WITH A SHOT AT WINNING 50,000 BUCKS.
♪♪♪
WE ARE BACK ON "WIPEOUT." GLAD THAT YOU ARE, TOO,
BECAUSE IT'S TIME FOR OUR FINAL FOUR CONTESTANTS
THAT'S RIGHT. WE HAVE SAVED THE BEST FOR LAST, PEOPLE.
IT IS A FINALE SO OVERLOADED, IT LOOKS LIKE WE'VE GOT
IT'S THE WIPEOUT ZONE,
AND IT BEGINS AT THE DREADMILL LAUNCH,
WHICH FAST-TRACKS OUR FINALISTS TO A 40-FOOT DROP WHICH ENDS
THEN IT'S ON TO OUR GUT BUSTER--
NEXT UP,
THEY'LL HAVE TO CLIMB THE SINISTAIRS
AND FOR THE FINAL STRETCH,
IT'LL BE A BATTLE THROUGH THE GAUNTLET.
THEY'LL HAVE TO WEAVE THROUGH THE CRANKSHAFT,
DODGE OUR BLADES OF FURY AND FINALLY CROSS
OUR EXTREME SEESAW-- THE BRUISING *** TOTTER--
FOUR CONTESTANTS REMAIN,
AND THE ONE WITH THE BEST TIME GOES HOME 50 GRAND RICHER.
UP FIRST-- IT'S OUR CAPTAIN CHEMISTRY!
HE'S HOPING TO HAVE THE RIGHT HYPOTHESIS
DUN DA-DA-DA!
OUR SCIENCE SUPERHERO JASON DE MURO
OH!
AAH!
HE FOLLOWED IT UP WITH EXPLOSIVE PERFORMANCES
YEAH!
ALL RIGHT, JASON IS LOADED UP.
(beeping)
(lasers firing)
CRASHING THROUGH THE SHEER DESCENT WATERS,
THE KEY HERE IS SPEED, JOHN.
THE FASTER YOU RUN, THE FURTHER YOU'RE LAUNCHED
INTO THE WIPEOUT ZONE
AND THE CLOSER YOU LAND TO THE NEXT OBSTACLE.
JASON'S NOW ON HIS WAY UP TO THE POWERFUL GUT BUSTER.
YEAH, HE'S GOTTA MAKE HIS WAY
NEARING THE TOP.
OH! OVERSHOOTS THE MARK A BIT, MANAGES TO HOLD ON.
THAT OBSTACLE NOT AS EASY AS JASON MADE IT LOOK THERE.
YEAH, AND ONLY A MINUTE AND 15 SECONDS.
BUT HE'S GETTING BLASTED WITH WATER.
HE TIMES THAT JUMP WELL AND BEGINS THE ASCENT.
NOW, JOHN, THE STAIRS ARE REALLY THE EASY PART.
IT'S THE SWEEPER ARMS YOU HAVE TO WATCH OUT FOR.
OHH!
POW! HE IS DOWN. LET'S TAKE A SECOND LOOK.
YOU KNOW, IN SCIENCE TERMS,
AAH!
YEAH, YOU CAN SEE HE LOOKS EXHAUSTED
WHOA!
CLIMBING UP A LITTLE MORE CAUTIOUS.
HE FELT THE POWER OF THOSE SWEEPER ARMS ONCE.
HE'S NOT GONNA MAKE THAT MISTAKE AGAIN.
HE IS FORGING AHEAD. NOW HE'S REACHED THAT TOP STEP,
AND HE MAKES IT LOOK EASY.
HIS REWARD IS FACING THE GAUNTLET.
THERE'S A SCIENCE TO MAKING IT ACROSS,
AND IF HE SEES THE PATTERN, IT SHOULD BE NO PROBLEM AT ALL.
YEAH, THAT'S WHAT HAPPENS
WHEN YOU DON'T SEE THE PATTERN, MY FRIEND.
YOU ARE GONNA TAKE A KNOCK TO YOUR HEAD
JASON CLEARLY WINDED NOW,
TRYING TO FIND THE RHYTHM OF THIS OBSTACLE.
LOOKS LIKE HE MAY HAVE FIGURED IT OUT.
AND NOW HE'S ON TO THE BLADES OF FURY.
DOESN'T WAIT, KNIFES RIGHT THROUGH.
ALL THAT'S LEFT NOW IS THAT *** TOTTER.
AAH!
AAH!
OH, LOOK AT THIS. FLINGS HIM RIGHT INTO THE DRINK.
YEAH, JASON QUICKLY LEARNS THAT THE *** TOTTER
IT IS A LONG SWIM BACK. THAT'LL COST JASON A LOT OF TIME.
UP NOW FOR HIS THIRD ATTEMPT.
CROSSING BY THE CRANKSHAFT WITH EASE,
THROUGH THOSE BLADES OF FURY EFFORTLESSLY.
AND NOW CLIMBING BACK ON THE *** TOTTER.
UHH!
OH!
HE SLIPPED BACKWARDS BUT MANAGE TO HOLD ON.
YEAH.
YEAH! UHH!
A TIME OF 10:14.
HOPING TO BRING HIM DOWN-- P.E. TEACHER
WHAT IN TARNATION?
UHH!
LIVED UP TO HER MOTTO THE ENTIRE DAY,
OH!
AND EVENTUALLY MUSCLING OUT COMPETITION AT THE BEACH PARTY
NEVER GIVE UP! NEVER SURRENDER!
ALL RIGHT, JOHN, DEBORAH IS UP.
(beeping)
AND DEBORAH IS OFF.
(lasers firing)
AAH!
SHE HAS LIFTOFF AND BOUNCES INTO THE WIPEOUT WATER
AAH!
GOOD AIR. THAT LANDS HER RIGHT IN LINE WITH THE NEXT OBSTACLE.
NOW SHE'S SPRINTING UP TO THE GUT BUSTERS.
SHE'S USING SPEED AND DARING.
LOOKS LIKE DEBORAH'S GONNA TAKE THE SAME APPROACH.
BUT REMEMBER, THOSE BLOCKS ARE SUPER SLICK.
OHH! AND SHE IS BLASTED BY WATER THERE.
OHH!
AAH!
YEAH, TAKE A LOOK HERE.
YOU CAN SEE DEBORAH'S HASTE AND A BLAST OF WATER
CAUSED HER TO SLIP RIGHT OFF THAT BLOCK.
AFTER THAT SLIP, IT KIND OF LOOKS LIKE
DEBORAH'S BEING A LITTLE BIT MORE CAUTIOUS.
SHE LOOKS KINDA WOBBLY.
(John H.) OHH!
BUT SHE HANGS ON.
AN AMAZING RECOVERY, THOUGH. FINALLY, SHE'S ACROSS.
AND WHAT TOOK JASON A LITTLE OVER A MINUTE
HAS TAKEN DEBORAH FOUR AND A HALF.
GETTING SO CLOSE. SHE PREPARES TO TACKLE THE SINISTAIRS.
I'LL TELL YA, JOHN. THE WIPEOUT ZONE IS RELENTLESS.
SHE BEGINS HER CLIMB NOW. NEEDS TO NEGOTIATE FIVE STEPS
WHILE AVOIDING THOSE SWEEPER ARMS ON BOTH SIDES.
(thunder rumbles)
SHE'S PRACTICALLY SPRINTING TO THE TOP.
WOW, SHE HANDLED THESE SINISTAIRS
UHH!
SHE'S SAVED HERSELF A LOT OF TIME
SPRINTING UP THOSE SINISTAIRS.
YEP. NOW SHE HAS TO FACE THE GAUNTLET.
FIRST UP, THE CRANKSHAFT.
SHE'S GOTTA MAKE SENSE OF THAT ROTATION.
UH-OH! AAH!
OH! A LITTLE HESITATION.
SHE'S LIFTED UP AND THROWN DOWN INTO THE WATER.
YEAH, THE CRANKSHAFT REMINDING DEBORAH
OH! AAH!
SECOND ATTEMPT ON THE CRANKSHAFT.
SHE'S NOW ABOUT 40 SECONDS BEHIND JASON'S PACE.
LOOKING PRETTY GOOD SO FAR.
THIS IS WHERE SHE STUMBLED LAST TIME.
NOW UP ONTO THE BLADES OF FURY.
CAN'T AFFORD TO WASTE TIME.
OHH! DEBORAH GETS SLAMMED!
OUR BLADES SENT HER BACK INTO THE WATER,
AND WITH A LONG SWIM BACK, DEBORAH HAS PROBABLY ONLY GOT
ONE SHOT LEFT TO CHALLENGE JASON.
$50,000 ON THE LINE.
OUR ONLY FEMALE IN THE WIPEOUT ZONE
MAKING HER WAY THROUGH THE CRANKSHAFT ONCE AGAIN,
ON TO THOSE BLADES OF FURY.
DEBORAH CUTTING THROUGH THE SECOND SET,
AND NOW FACING THE *** TOTTER.
ANY WIPEOUT HERE AND IT IS ALL OVER FOR DEBORAH.
A LITTLE MORE THAN 30 SECONDS TO GO.
DEBORAH EYEING A HUGE UPSET.
THE *** TOTTER LOOKING RELENTLESS
AND THROWING HER AROUND. TIME RUNNING DOWN FOR DEBORAH.
SHE'S GOTTA MAKE A MOVE.
THE *** TOTTER TRYING TO THROW HER.
INCHING TOWARDS THAT EDGE.
SHE'S ACROSS BUT DOWN.
SHE NEEDS TO GET HER FEET ONTO THAT FINISH PLATFORM.
NEVER GIVE UP! NEVER SURRENDER!
WITH A TIME OF 10:05,
DEBORAH "NEVER GIVE UP, NEVER SURRENDER" BLACKWELL
COMES FROM BEHIND BY JUST 9 SECONDS.
FANTASTIC STUFF. BUT IT THE TIME GOOD ENOUGH?
UP NEXT, OOMPA LOOMPA JOEL, FREAK OF NATURE FRANK,
AND THE HUNT FOR $50,000.
♪♪♪
♪♪♪
WELCOME BACK TO "WIPEOUT," WHERE WE ARE IN THE MIDDLE
OF AN INCREDIBLY CLOSE AND EXCITING COMPETITION
BLAH, BLAH, BLAH. 50 GRAND ON THE LINE.
TO THE LEADERBOARD, ANDERSON!
AS YOU SEE, DEBORAH BLACKWELL THE CURRENT LEADER.
FREAK OF NATURE'S STILL TO COME.
BUT UP NEXT, OOMPA LOOMPA JOEL GRANDE.
LET'S TAKE A LOOK AT HIS DAY SO FAR.
WHOO!
AH!
HE BROUGHT HIS GAME FACE TO THE BEACH PARTY,
(high-pitched scream)
OUR LEADER WATCHING AS THE LAUNCH SEQUENCE BEGINS.
(beeping)
THE DREADMILL'S ARMED, THE COUNTDOWN UNDERWAY.
(lasers firing)
AND JOEL IS OFF.
AAH!
AND BOUNCING INTO THE WATER BELOW.
UNFORTUNATELY, JOEL DOESN'T PUT THE PEDAL TO THE METAL UP TOP,
AND HE FALLS A BIT SHORT ON THE NEXT OBSTACLE BELOW.
JOEL'S OUT OF THE WATER HOWEVER AND ON TO THE GUT BUSTERS NOW.
HIS HEIGHT A SLIGHT DISADVANTAGE,
BUT MAYBE HE CAN MAKE THAT UP WITH SPEED.
JOEL'S TAKING SOME PUNISHMENT TO THE MIDSECTION HERE.
HE'S ON HIS FEET, BLASTED BY WATER.
HOPPING, LOOMPA'ING.
OHH!
OH! THAT WON'T DO IT. A CRASH LANDING.
JOEL TRYING TO LEAP TO SAFETY,
OHH!
HAS TO START BACK AT THE BEGINNING
FOR A SECOND ATTEMPT. MAYBE A LITTLE MORE CAUTIOUS.
AAH! UHH!
A BLAST FROM THE WATER CANNON. HE SLIPS.
OH, AND NOW HE'S DRENCHED.
JOEL COMPLETELY MISTIMED THAT JUMP,
AND HE ENDS UP IN THE DRINK,
JOEL'S THIRD TRY ON THE GUT BUSTERS NOW.
AT 5:30, HE HAS FALLEN WELL BEHIND DEBORAH'S PACE.
OH.
SLIPPING ACROSS. HE GOT VERY LUCKY.
(whirring)
A MINUTE OFF THE PACE,
BUT DEBORAH MADE UP A LOT OF TIME HERE.
LET'S SEE IF JOEL CAN DO THE SAME.
WHAT WE'RE LOOKING FOR HERE IS A CLEAN RUN UP THE SINISTAIRS.
PULL THAT OFF, AND HE'S RIGHT BACK IN THE RACE.
AAH!
OH! THE SWEEPER ARM SWEPT HIM RIGHT OFF THE STAIR.
LET'S GET ANOTHER LOOK AT THAT.
YEAH, HE MAY HAVE A LOW CENTER OF GRAVITY,
AHH!
AND HE JUST TUMBLES INTO THE WATER BELOW.
OUR GRANDE CONTESTANT HAS A TINY MARGIN FOR ERROR.
AND A WIPEOUT, THAT WOULD BE DEVASTATING TO HIM.
HE HAS ONLY 2 MINUTES
AND A WHOLE LOT OF WIPEOUT ZONE LEFT TO TAKE THE LEAD.
HE'S DOING EVERYTHING HE CAN
AS THOSE SWEEPER ARMS TRY TO TAKE HIM DOWN.
(thunder rumbles)
♪♪♪
WAITING THERE... AND HE IS SAFELY ON.
DEBORAH LOOKING ANXIOUS, BUT THE TIME'S ON HER SIDE.
OOH!
OH!
JOEL GOES TOE TO TOE WITH THE CRANKSHAFT,
WHICH LANDS AN UPPERCUT,
AND HURLS HIM INTO THE WATER.
ONLY 10 SECONDS LEFT.
♪♪♪
STILL GIVING EFFORT ON THAT CRANKSHAFT.
OH!
OH! AND INTO THE WATER ONE LAST TIME.
AND JOEL IS FINISHED.
DEBORAH'S TIME NOW LOOKING VERY STRONG.
DOES ANYONE HAVE WHAT IT TAKES TO BEAT IT?
(Frank roars)
UH-OH.
(grunts)
POSTED AN UNNATURAL TIME ON THE QUALIFIER.
DESPITE HIS SCARY PERFORMANCE ON THE DOUBLE CROSS,
HE RODE A WAVE OF MOMENTUM THROUGH OUR BEACH PARTY
OOH-RAH!
♪♪♪
(grunts)
THE LAUNCH SEQUENCE IS INITIATED.
(beeping)
YEAH, I'LL SAY.
A SURPRISINGLY TIMID START, HE BARELY GETS ANY AIR,
AND THEN CRASHES INTO THAT WATER.
YEAH, IT LOOKS LIKE FRANK SLIPPED ON HIS LAUNCH,
CAUSING A BUMPY FLIGHT DOWN INTO THE WATERS BELOW,
LEAVING HIM WELL SHORT OF HIS TARGET.
FRANK UP TO THE GUT BUSTERS WOW. HE IS JUST FLYING, JOHNNY.
I TOLD YA. HE'S A SUPER FREAK.
UHH!
OH!
BUT WHAT A GREAT TUMBLE FORWARD, RIGHT ONTO THAT LAST BLOCK
AND TAKES ADVANTAGE, JUMPING SAFELY ACROSS.
AND HE IS BY FAR THE QUICKEST TO THE SINISTAIRS SO FAR TODAY.
TRYING TO TIME IT OUT. FRANK DOMINATING SO FAR.
IT'S LIKE HE'S ON AN ESCALATOR. HE'S NOT EVEN FLINCHING.
IS--IS HE SHAKING HIS FIST? AM I IN TROUBLE?
DEBORAH'S TIME IS WHAT'S REALLY IN JEOPARDY HERE.
A LITTLE OVER A MINUTE IN,
WHOA!
OH!
OH! FRANK SUFFERS HIS FIRST WIPEOUT OF THE NIGHT.
FRANK TRYING TO LEAP OVER THE BAR, BUT GOT CAUGHT
AND RODE THAT CRANKSHAFT ALL THE WAY INTO THE WATER.
FRANK FINALLY LOOKING HUMAN,
AND HE'S GOTTA LEARN YOU CAN'T DICTATE TO THE CRANKSHAFT.
YOU HAVE TO COOPERATE WITH IT. HE IS THROUGH.
NOW IT'S THE FREAK OF NATURE VERSUS THE BLADES OF FURY.
NOW HE IS STARING DOWN THE *** TOTTER.
HMM.
FRANK MAKING A MAD DASH AT $50,000.
OH! HE'S CATAPULTED INTO THE WATER.
YOU GUYS SUCK!
FRANK IS JUST TOSSED FROM THE TOP OF THE *** TOTTER,
(grunts)
NOW FACING THAT LONG SWIM BACK.
FRANK FINALLY LOOKING A LITTLE SPENT,
BUT HE STILL HAS ABOUT 5 MINUTES TO BEAT DEBORAH'S TIME.
ONTO THAT CRANKSHAFT, TAKING IT VERY CAUTIOUSLY.
THERE YA GO. HE'S ACROSS.
BUT HIS ARCH NEMESIS THE *** TOTTER REMAINS.
THIS IS RIDICULOUS.
NO, HE'S NOT!
UNBELIEVABLE!
FANTASTIC FINISHING RUN! GAME OVER!
YOU JUST WON $50,000! YOU'VE JUST WON "WIPEOUT"!
(roaring) YEAH!
WOW! THAT WAS AWFULLY IMPRESSIVE, JOHN.
I THINK I JUST WET MY PANTS.
YOU'RE INCREDIBLE, MY FRIEND. WELL, THAT'S GONNA DO IT FOR US.
JOIN US NEXT WEEK WHEN WE HAVE 24 NEW CONTESTANTS
TAKING ON EVEN CRAZIER NEW OBSTACLES.
UNTIL THEN, I'M JOHN ANDERSON...
AND FOR JILL WAGNER,
I'M JOHN HENSON SAYING GOOD NIGHT AND BIG BALLS.
♪♪♪
OH! AAH!
UHH!
AAH!
AAH!
AAH! AAH!
♪♪♪
(clank)
NEVER GIVE UP! NEVER S--
UHH!
(clank)
(roaring) YEAH!