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(Ted: Were you always this short?)
(Benny: No)
(Benny: You were just always above me)
(Music)
In your mind anyway
That's funny you can be funny
No funny business
Do you have keys?
Ah
God how drunk are you?
I'm drunk enough to let you take me home
This is cozy isn't it?
Really cozy
Why don't you stay right there
Stay right there while I open the door ok?
Ok ok
Hello
Ooh!
(door closes)
You know what?
You're not so bad looking for a hobo
As usually your flattery needs work
Now I think you should get off of me don't you?
Oh I don't know
You're not so bad looking for a hobo
I get that a lot
Do you know that I am unemployed and single?
And that Ted has a new girlfriend?
You do know you're not Ted's old girlfriend right?
Yes but
It was nice to have somebody to do things with
Ooh Marty what are you doing?
Marty?
(snoring)
Martin?
(typing)
Great work on the pest control proposal
Thanks Mr. Weston
I was afraid it was dead on arrival…
We're giving you the account
It's a big one
Take a real man you sure you're up for it?
Absolutely I…yes thank you Mr. Weston
Don't thank me just do a good job
I will I will do a great job
You're doing well here
We like your midwestern nice guy approach
Snows the clients
Keep it up
Thank you for putting so much trust in me
I won't let you down
There it is
That 'aw shucks' crap
Brilliant but uh
Save it for the clients
Around here you can be a regular guy
Now get to work Adams
Yeah
Thank you Mr. Weston
(music)
Oh
Mm
Uh
Oh
Ooh I always wondered what you would look like in the morning
I will never think about it again
Benny!
What the hell are you doing here?
Oh my God I feel like death
Saving your life
Someone had a little too much to drink
Please tell me it was all a terrible dream
It was all a terrible dream
Except for the getting fired part
Thank you
Uh
Anything else from that dream you remember?
The girl
You mean Ted's girlfriend?
She's not his girlfriend yet
That name
Chicken?
Henny!
Ah what a terrible terrible name
Do you have a right side of the bed?
Actually I was sleeping on the floor
Oh that's where you landed
You were too heavy for me to lift so I just let ya
Let ya sleep there
You brought me home and stayed the night?
I slept here on the couch
Which is unbelievably comfortable
The pillows are so like fluffy
I'm glad Benny I'm now though you can go
What are you going to do now Marty?
I mean have you thought about it?
What about doing a blog?
You could do a blog
I can't even think about it right now Benny
Even my fingernails hurt
I think maybe a novel
Or a play you've always wanted to write
You could go on unemployment and be a tortured writer!
It's so romantic
It's like a movie
(music)
Are we at the part where you leave yet?
Ok ok!
I'm going
But um...
Are you sure there's nothing else you remember about last night?
Ok take a hot shower and eat something
Things won't look so bad
(Benny: By the way um…)
(Benny: You've had arugula in your teeth all night so you should…)
(Benny: Try to remember more things about your evening)
(door shuts)
Hey Benny! What are you doing here?
Playing nursemaid
Not my favorite role but necessary
Oh he's still brooding
Thanks for the heads-up
Good morning!
Loud morning shhhhhhh
Sorry
Just wanted to see how you were doing after last night
I haven't seen you that bombed since college
It was more fun in college
No jobs
Just boring classes that were supposed to prepare us for life
Waste of money
Things will get better
You could come work at the shop
Just while you're figuring things out
You want some coffee?
Sure
Oh I don't know
God I don't know if I should have any
I didn't mean to stump you with such a difficult question
Hey um Marty?
There's um
Been some developments
What?
Yeah you put on a few pounds but you look good
No
(hums rockabye baby)
You're having a breast reduction
Marty!
I'm having a baby
Ok take two
Marty I'm having a baby!
A real baby?
Well yes I'm going to have it tested but I'm assuming
It's going to be real
Well that's great hon!
I know right!?
YEEEEEEEEEE!
Val's pregnant
That's huge! Congratulations!
Yeah thanks man thanks
So why am I freaking out?
I mean I know it could be new dad nerves or whatever
But I think it's more than that
No no this sounds totally natural
Yeah?
Yeah
I mean it could be because she surprised me right?
It's a huge surprise to spring on somebody like that
Yeah totally
I mean it could be because we've only been married a few months right?
Yeah it could be that I mean it's all of it's new
Could be any of those things!
Yeah yeah
No it's not that!
That's the thing I think it's something more
I don't think I'm ready Ted
Baby's not coming tomorrow Eddie
You're gonna have time to wrap your head around it and adjust
Yeah yeah that's a good point
I mean cause a man is supposed to have a family right?
That's what men do right?
I don't know about that
I mean my boss thinks I'm Stuart Smalley
What? Why?
You know I'm very caring and compassionate with the client
He said that's why I booked a huge account
That's great right?
Ahhh
Why do I feel like you feel?
***!
Being a man is
It's hard
No no no this is silly this is silly
I just booked the biggest account of my career
You're gonna be a dad
We should be out celebrating
We should be
Doing it up
Yeah man
You are totally right!
We should be living it up right now
We should be so…
I mean these are milestone days for us right?
Yeah
Promotion
This is great
It's gonna to be alright
It's gonna to be alright
(music)