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(Irwin) JOANIE AND I USED
TO PLAY THIS GAME
WHEN WE WERE YOUNGER-- REMEMBER OUR LITTLE GAME?
LET'S SEE IF WE CAN DO THAT AGAIN.
ARE YOU READY? I'LL START.
YOUR TURN.
YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO DO IT FASTER!
(loud pounding)
(all laughing)
BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM!
(Brian) I CAN'T BELIEVE WHAT I JUST SAW.
HOLY (bleep)
I JUST GOT MY TESTOSTERONE SHOT.
FRISKY TODAY.
HE'S RARING TO GO!
(chicken clucks)
(clock ticks)
(slurps)
SECURITY.
(slurps)
(growls)
(camera clicks)
(alarm ringing)
(insect buzzes)
(man) HEY, CAPTAIN, WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
I'M GONNA MAKE A SEMI-TRADITIONAL INIPI LODGE.
WHAT'S AN INIPI LODGE?
YOU'LL SEE.
HEY BRIAN...
YES.
COULD YOU POUR THIS IN A STYROFOAM CUP?
I DON'T KNOW HOW CLEAN THESE ARE.
IT'S CLEAN.
WHY YOU GOT HURT THE ENVIRONMENT FOR?
THAT'S THE WHOLE PURPOSE.
YEAH.
(door opens)
GUESS WHAT I FOUND GOING THROUGH THE BASEMENT?
ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
MY OLD CAMPING GEAR.
I HADN'T USED IT IN SO LONG, I FORGOT I HAD IT.
OH, MY GOD.
I'VE NEVER EVEN USED SOME OF THIS STUFF.
LOOK, EVEN AN OLD PAIR OF BINOCULARS.
DO THOSE STILL WORK?
YEAH, THEY WORK.
THOSE LOOK LIKE A TOY, IRWIN.
THEY'RE NOT, THEY'RE ARMY. DON'T YOU SEE THE COLOR?
THEY'RE PAINTED TO LOOK LIKE ARMY.
YEAH.
DO YOU HAVE A POT AND A PAN IN THE BACK THERE?
WELL, WHY WOULDN'T HE? HE'S GOING CAMPING.
MAJOR HAD BEEN WANTING TO GO CAMPING FOR QUITE A WHILE.
I'VE GOT A FISHING NET AND A FISHING ROD.
HE WOULD TELL ME ABOUT HIS DAYS AS A BOY SCOUT,
AND THAT GOES WAY BACK TO THE '40s, I GUESS.
WELL, LIKE, YEARS AGO.
THIS BECOMES A FRYING PAN.
SO I THOUGHT I'D GO AHEAD AND INVITE HIM
TO JOIN ME THIS WEEKEND.
(man) SO YOU AND MAJOR KOPLAN ARE GONNA HAVE A BOYS' WEEKEND.
A LITTLE BOYS' WEEKEND, BUT, UH,
WE ALSO DECIDED TO INVITED DENNIS AS WELL
SINCE HE IS NOW A MAN, SO TO SPEAK.
(Dennis) THIS IS PRETTY AWESOME
BECAUSE THIS IS MY FIRST BOYS' NIGHT OUT.
I'VE NEVER BEEN OFFICIALLY A BOY.
(bleep)
(Irwin) SOMETHING YOU CAN ALWAYS USE--
(Joan) A ***.
I'VE GOT A FOG HORN, JUST TAKES A LITTLE PRESSURE.
NO!
DON'T BLOW IT.
DON'T DO THAT!
(horn shrieks)
JESUS (bleep)!
(laughs)
WELL, IT'S REALLY DESIGNED TO IDENTIFY YOUR LOCATION.
REALLY, THAT'S RIDICULOUS.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW IF SHE CAN HEAR NOW.
ALWAYS NEED ROPE ON A CAMPING TRIP.
WHAT ARE YOU GONNA DO WITH ROPE?
HANG A FEW RATTLESNAKES UP.
I DON'T LIKE SNAKES.
MY WIFE IS SO VASTLY AFRAID OF THE OUTDOORS.
WHAT ARE YOU GONNA DO IF IT'S LIKE "DELIVERANCE,"
YOU GET TWO OR THREE YOKELS THAT APPROACH YOU
AND WANT YOUR MONEY, YOU KNOW?
AND SINCE SHE WON'T GO,
I REALLY HAVEN'T BEEN CAMPING IN DECADES.
OH, MY GOD.
THAT'S A REAL DAMN MACHETE YOU'RE GONNA WALK AROUND WITH?
SOMEBODY COULD TAKE THAT IN BACK OF YOU AND STAB YOU WITH IT.
(Brian) CHIEF IS JUST PARANOID
THE MAJOR IS GONNA GET HURT GOING OUT IN THE WOODS.
SHE'S GOT THESE RANDOM THINGS THAT'S, LIKE, COULD HAPPEN.
YOU CAN GET LYME POISONING.
IF YOU HAVE TO GO ACROSS A BRIDGE WHERE THERE'S WATER,
THAT'S DANGEROUS.
A MOUNTAIN LION COULD GRAB YOU BY THE THROAT AND KILL YOU.
THERE'S BEARS AROUND HERE AND WOLVES.
BUGS THAT CAN BITE. BIRDS OF PREY.
A MILLION SPIDERS. AND SNAKES.
I WOULDN'T GO OUT THERE WITHOUT A GUN.
YOU KNOW, WE'RE ONLY GOING FOR ONE NIGHT TO A CABIN.
I DIDN'T KNOW THAT.
I MEAN, THE CABIN IS PRETTY MUCH FULLY FURNISHED.
OH.
WE'RE TAKING BABY STEPS.
(door opens)
(Dennis) HEY.
(dog barks)
LAMB!
WHAT YOU GOT?
WE GOT HIM A SATCHEL.
DIESEL?
YEAH.
WHAT IS GONNA HAPPEN WITH PATROLLING
WHILE YOU'RE OUT THERE IN THE WOODS?
EVERYTHING IS HANDLED.
WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO DO? I'M GONNA BE BY MYSELF.
(Brian) THAT'S WHY WE'VE WAITED SO LONG TO DO THIS TRIP.
YOU'RE ABLE TO SCOOT AROUND BY YOURSELF NOW.
ALL RIGHT.
MAYBE ME AND YOU CAN GO DO SOMETHING.
THEY'RE HAVING A BOYS' NIGHT. LET'S HAVE A GIRLS' NIGHT.
THAT'D BE COOL.
IT WOULD BE.
I APPRECIATE IT, BUT I'M MORE OF A LONER.
HELL, WE CAN GO TO MY MOM'S.
CAN WE DISCUSS IT LATER?
COME ON.
AND THEN WE CAN HAVE, LIKE, A PAJAMA PARTY
OR SOMETHING LIKE THAT.
PLAYING DRESS-UP.
YUP.
PRACTICE YOUR KISSING SKILLS, TICKLE FIGHTS.
WHAT ABOUT LAMB CHOP? I DON'T WANT TO BRING HER OUT
WHEN I DON'T KNOW WHAT'S GONNA GO ON.
I GOT EVERYTHING SET UP.
GIRLS' NIGHT. YEAH?
FINE, I'LL DO IT.
OKAY.
IT'LL BE FUN.
YOU CAN TELL 'EM HOW TO MAKE GOOD SEX.
I ONCE LIVED IN A TEEPEE WITH MY FAMILY,
BUT THAT WAS 13 YEARS AGO.
I DO MISS THE FEELING OF BEING PRESENT ON THE EARTH.
YOU CAN CONCENTRATE BETTER.
(Lamb barks)
(Joan) STAY! GET IN.
HEY! GOOD MORNING, GANG!
HEY.
YOU READY FOR SOME SERIOUS CAMPING?
(grunts)
WHAT THE HELL IS THIS?
IT'S JUST MATERIALS TO BUILD WITH.
WELL, WHAT ARE YOU SUPPOSED TO BUILD?
I'M GONNA PREPARE SOMETHING SPECIAL FOR THE GUYS.
YEAH, WELL, GUESS WHAT, GUYS? THERE'S SNAKES IN THE WOODS.
YOU KNOW THAT?
THEY'RE USUALLY UNDERGROUND NOW.
IF IT'S A NICE DAY, THEY COME OUT.
ALL RIGHT, COME GIVE ME A HUG AND A KISSY.
HAPPY GIRLS' NIGHT, BABE.
OH!
(car starts)
DON'T DO ANYTHING STUPID, PLEASE.
BYE, JOANIE.
HOW LONG IS THE DRIVE?
(Brian) ABOUT TWO HOURS.
OH, THAT'S FREAKIN' LONG.
WELL, WE'RE ON OUR WAY.
HMM.
♪ I'M A RAMBLING WRECK FROM GEORGIA TECH ♪
♪ AND A HELL OF AN ENGINEER ♪
♪ HELL OF A HELL OF A HELL OF A HELL OF A ♪
♪ HELL OF AN ENGINEER ♪
TO ALL, UM, GOSH...
SO THIS WAS A FIGHT SONG?
OH, YEAH.
IT'LL GET US INTO THE CAMPING SPIRIT.
♪ I'M A RAMBLING WRECK FROM GEORGIA TECH ♪
♪ AND A HELL OF AN ENGINEER ♪
(both) ♪ A HELL OF A HELL OF A HELL OF A HELL OF A ♪
♪ A HELL OF AN ENGINEER ♪
♪ LIKE ALL THE JOLLY GOOD FELLOWS ♪
♪ I DRINK MY WHISKEY CLEAR ♪
(all) ♪ I'M A RAMBLING, GAMBLING SON OF AN ENGINEER ♪
♪ HELL OF AN ENGINEER ♪
I ALMOST SAID SON OF A ***.
HELL OF AN ENGINEER. DAMN IT.
WE'RE HERE. WHAT DO YOU THINK?
PRETTY NICE SCENERY, HUH?
THAT'S PRETTY, YEAH.
WHOA, LOOK AT THIS.
ARE WE SERIOUS ABOUT THIS?
I THOUGHT THIS WAS GONNA BE A REAL CAMPING TRIP, GUYS.
THIS IS A SURPRISE.
THIS IS NOT A CABIN. THIS IS A REGULAR HOUSE.
(cat meows)
IT EVEN COMES WITH ITS OWN CATS.
(meows)
WHAT YOU SAY, KITTY?
THIS IS ABSOLUTELY INSANE.
NICE.
LUXURY CAMPING.
HOW RIDICULOUS.
"HOT TUB TOWELS."
SO THERE'S A HOT TUB?
YEAH.
OH, MAN!
I'M SURPRISED YOU DIDN'T EGG CHIEF TO COME ALONG
ON THIS ONE WITH THIS.
WELL, NO, THIS IS A GUY THING.
THIS IS NOT A GUY THING. THIS IS NOT A GUY THING.
THIS IS REALLY SOMETHING.
I'M GONNA TAKE A LOT OF PICTURES ON THIS TRIP.
MM. MNH-MNH.
(Joan) ARE YOU EATING MY CLOTHES?
DON'T DO THAT. THAT'S AMAZING.
WANT SOME COFFEE, LAMB?
(sighs)
UP UNTIL JUST A COUPLE MONTHS AGO
THERE'S NO WAY THAT I COULD'VE STAYED BY MYSELF.
IT WOULD'VE BEEN A DANGER.
I COULDN'T WALK AT ALL HARDLY.
I THOUGHT I WAS READY FOR A WHEELCHAIR.
THAT'S ALL CHANGED.
CHOPPY, MOVE OVER.
MY MEDICINE WAS UP ENOUGH TO
WHERE I DON'T NEED ANYBODY HERE.
(coughs and sighs)
(man) SO YOU'RE JU GONNA SIT HERE TODAY
WHILE THEY'RE AWAY CAMPING?
NO, I'LL GO TO THE OFFICE.
I GOT THE KEY TO THE OFFICE.
I'LL JUST WATCH TV THERE OR SOMETHING.
LET'S GET THE (bleep) OUT OF HERE.
(barks)
WOW, YOU COULD HANG-GLIDE OFF OF THESE ROCKS.
LET ME GET A PICTURE.
I GOT IT.
ALL RIGHT, YOU READY GO GET THAT GEOCACHE?
OKAY.
HE'S BEEN TALKING ABOUT GEOCACHING FOR WEEKS NOW,
AND I DIDN'T KNOW WHAT IN THE DEVIL HE'S TALKING ABOUT,
SO I FIGURED I'LL WAIT, YOU KNOW, I CAN WAIT.
WHAT IS A GEOCACHE?
SOMEBODY HID THIS ITEM,
RECORDED THEIR COORDINATES
AND YOU HAVE TO USE A GPS TO FIND IT.
OKAY.
(Brian) I STARTED GEOCACHING ABOUT FOUR OR FIVE YEARS AGO.
SOME ARE REALLY HARD TO FIND, SOME ARE REALLY EASY.
IT'S ALL ABOUT THE HUNT
AND GETTING OUT AND SEEING NATURE.
IT'S LIKE CLIMBING MOUNT EVEREST.
NOT MANY PEOPLE HAVE DONE THAT.
THINK THAT'S IT?
THERE'S SOMETHING THERE.
IT'S GOT A LITTLE TOY TRUCK IN THERE, A LITTLE BOOT,
HOW ABOUT THAT?
IT'S LIKE AN EASTER EGG HUNT FOR KIDS. (laughs)
IT'S READY TO GO, JUST PRESS.
YEAH!
WHAT IN THE HELL?
LOOKS LIKE A SPACESHIP LANDED WHILE WE WERE GONE.
I'M GONNA GET A SNAPSHOT OF THIS.
YOU'RE GONNA SLEEP OUT HERE IN THIS THING?
NO, THIS IS FOR ALL OF US.
FOR ALL OF US?
I'M A LITTLE BIT CONCERNED BECAUSE I'VE HEARD STORIES
WHERE HE'S BUILT TEEPEES AND HE'S ATE MICE
AND TOOK A (bleep) INSIDE OF IT.
LOOKS PRETTY COOL.
I HAVE NO INTEREST OF TAKING A CRAP IN A TEEPEE.
YOU GUYS ARE GONNA HAVE YOUR FIRST EXPERIENCE
IN AN INIPI LODGE.
"KIWI," YOU SAID?
INIPI.
OH, INIPI.
THIS ONE IS NOT TOTALLY AUTHENTIC,
BUT IT'S BASED ON LAKOTA TRADITION...
OKAY.
TAKING HEATED ROCKS FROM A FIRE.
OH.
POUR WATER ON TOP OF 'EM, AND THEREFORE STEAM.
SOUNDS GOOD.
IF YOU DON'T MIND ME IN BRIEFS.
(Joan) I KNOW THAT DIESEL'S ASKED YOU
TO HANDLE PATROL TONIGHT.
(man) RIGHT.
AS FAR AS TAKING CARE OF LAMB CHOP,
SHE PROBABLY WILL TRY TO BITE YOU.
OKAY.
I'M TRUSTING YOU WITH A MAJOR PART OF MY LIFE.
I WOULD BE COMPLETELY DISGUSTED
IF SOMETHING HAPPENED TO LAMB CHOP ON YOUR WATCH.
SHE MEANS THE WORLD TO ME.
I THINK I'VE GOT IT.
(Irwin) IT'S HARD TO MOVE IN THIS THING!
IT'S GOT SO MUCH CURRENT COMING ONE WAY OR THE OTHER.
(Dennis) MAJOR HASN'T HAD A CAMPING EXPERIENCE
SINCE THE TRUMAN ADMINISTRATION,
AND NOW HE'S IN A HOUSE IN THE WOODS.
HIS HOUSE IS NEXT TO WOODS, TOO.
ALL RIGHT, DINNER SHOULD BE READY.
(Irwin) WOW.
I THOUGHT I'D BRING SOMETHING OF A NATURAL WORLD
TO THE EXPERIENCE.
GOT THE PSYCHEDELIC LIGHTS GOING IN HERE NOW.
WE READY TO GO?
HOPEFULLY, IT WON'T RAIN.
(Lamb Chop barks)
THEY'VE HAD SOME SUSPICIOUS ACTIVITY,
SO... WE NEED TO BE WATCHING.
LOOKS OKAY.
NOTICE THESE BIG TIRES?
NOTHING GOING ON BACK THERE.
I USE THE CRUISE CONTROL.
LOOKS LIKE FUEL AND OIL LEAKS.
LOOKS LIKE IT'S UNLOCKED.
COME ON.
GOOD GIRL, YES, YOU ARE.
(growls)
OUCH!
(woman) WE'RE JUST GONNA DO
A LIGHT SPRAY ON YOU.
THAT'S JUST GREAT.
(Christa) THIS IS STOP NUMBER ONE, GIRLS' NIGHT,
AT MY MOM'S TANNING SALON,
AND CHIEF IS GETTING HER FIRST SPRAY TAN.
OH, GOD.
IS IT COLD?
I'M FREEZING.
OH, BOY. (sighs) OH, GOD, I'M COLD.
WE'RE ALMOST DONE.
GONNA GET PNEUMONIA.
YOU'RE DONE. YOU'RE DONE.
WHEN YOU GET UP IN THE MORNING,
YOU'RE GONNA LOOK DARKER THAN WHAT YOU ARE NOW,
AND YOU'RE GONNA BE, LIKE, OH, MY GOD.
YEAH, DON'T FREAK OUT.
RIGHT.
BECAUSE IT GETS REALLY DARK.
YEAH.
OH, BOY.
BYE, JOAN.
BYE, THANK YOU.
(Irwin) I'D LIKE TO PROPOSE A TOAST TO A LITTLE FREEDOM
THAT WE GET FROM THE LADIES.
HEY, I HEAR THAT.
OH, YEAH.
I'M SURE CHIEF BUSTS YOUR BALLS.
CHIEF BUSTS MY BALLS.
CHIEF BUSTS YOUR BALLS.
THIS IS A NON-BALL-BUSTING EVENING THEN.
THAT'S RIGHT.
I'VE BEEN AROUND GUYS, AND I'VE BEEN IN THE WOODS,
BUT MOST OF THE TIME I WAS THE ONLY... FEMALE,
AND I WAS LEFT OUT OF CRITICAL CONVERSATIONS,
SO THIS IS THE FIRST REAL BOYS' NIGHT OUT.
WELL, HERE.
CHEERS TO DIESEL'S FIRST GUYS' NIGHT.
OH, YEAH.
MMM. MM.
DELICIOUS, BRIAN.
I CAN TASTE THE JALAPENO
WITHOUT EVEN EATING THE JALAPENO--
CAN I ASK YOU SOMETHING?
MM?
WHEN YOU EAT, WHY DO YOU MAKE *** NOISES?
MMM.
MMM.
MMMMM.
MMM!
(slurps) IS THAT BETTER?
(all laughing)
(Christa) WHERE THE (bleep) DID I PUT MY PHONE AT?
(woman) CALL IT.
WAIT, WHERE'S MY DRINK?
I JUST WANT TO SHOOT IT.
SHOOT IT.
YEAH, I PROBABLY CAN'T SHOOT THAT, I DON'T KNOW.
WHAT THE HELL DOES "SHOOT" IT MEAN?
YOU DRINK THE *** AND THEN CHASE AFTER IT
WITH THE RED BULL SO IT'S CALLED A SHOOTER.
OH, BROTHER.
I JUST LIKE BEING AROUND GUYS MORE THAN GIRLS.
YOU KNOW, I LIKE THE CONVERSATIONS.
A VAJAYJAY IS A ***.
VAJAYJAY.
THE FEMALES JUST TALK ABOUT NONSENSE.
YOU KNOW, "WELL, HE USED TO DATE HER.
I DIDN'T KNOW THAT. YOU KNOW, FOR SURE,"
YOU KNOW, IT'S JUST A BUNCH OF CRAP TALK.
(Christa) HE GOES, "NO, YOU DIDN'T."
I WAS LIKE, "YEAH, I DID," AND HE WAS LIKE, "OH, MY GOD."
I WAS LIKE, "OH, MY GOD!"
(sighs)
SO I'LL SIT THERE WITH MY THUMB IN MY ***,
YOU KNOW, THAT'S JUST AN EXPRESSION.
THE LAST TIME I DRANK TEQUILA HERE
WAS OVER 10 YEARS AGO, AND IT DID NOT END WELL.
(sighs)
(Irwin) WHAT IS IT AGAIN?
(Brian) AN APAY?
TEN-AY-PAY?
IT RHYMED WITH "KIWI."
COME ON OUT! IT'S READY!
IT'S FREEZING OUT THERE.
ALL RIGHT MAJOR, LAST ONE IN IS A ROTTEN EGG.
AHH!
GO STRAIGHT IN.
THERE'S GONNA BE SOME SERIOUS SHRINKAGE.
OH, MY GOD!
THERE'S A LITTLE CAMERA LAYING THERE SOMEWHERE,
IF ANYBODY SEES IT.
"INIPI" MEANS "WOMB." YOU ARE IN THE WOMB.
HMM.
OKAY.
WHEN YOU EXIT, THEN YOU ARE REBORN.
OH.
YOU SWEAT.
IT'S LIKE A PROCESS OF REMOVAL.
OKAY.
YOUR MIND IS OPENED UP. YOU'RE GONNA BE CLEANSED.
WOW.
I WILL BEGIN
WITH STEAM NOW PRESENTED TO THE ROCKS.
(sizzling)
(drumming and chanting)
CAPTAIN, IS IT PERMISSIBLE TO TAKE A PICTURE?
IF YOU FEEL INCLINED TO.
OKAY.
(camera wheel clicking)
THERE'S NOT MUCH TO SEE IN HERE.
(Christa) YOU SEE THIS?
YEAH, IT'S A POLE.
SHOW ME WHAT YOU GOT, BABY.
JUST SWING ON IT ONE GOOD TIME.
I DON'T FEEL LIKE DOING THAT.
YEAH, LOOK, LIKE THIS.
WRAP YOUR LEG AND GO AND SWING AROUND.
AND THEN BE ALL, LIKE, SEXYFIED.
I DON'T THINK I CAN DO THAT.
YEAH, YOU CAN.
YEAH, BUT I'M NOT--
YOU GOT IT IN YOU.
I'M GONNA END UP FALLING. STUPID ***.
LEAVE ME ALONE.
CAN'T YOU SEE THAT I'M PIE-EYED?
COME ON.
DO IT.
DO IT!
(all) DO IT! DO IT!
DO IT! DO IT!
DO IT! DO IT! DO IT! DO IT!
THERE YOU GO!
WHOO!
YEAH! YOU DID IT, GIRL!
GO UP AND DOWN, GO DOWN!
YOU GOT THE WHOLE BUMP AND GRIND THING GOING ON.
(laughter)
SHE'S MAKING OUT WITH IT, YES!
I CANNOT BELIEVE YOU'RE LICKING THE POLE.
(drumming)
(Irwin) DOES THIS CEREMONY ACTUALLY STOP
AT A CERTAIN POINT?
IT'S WHENEVER YOU FEEL THE NEED TO LEAVE.
OH.
WELL, I FEEL PRETTY CLEANSED, I THINK.
YOU WANT ME TO GET A PICTURE OF YOU EXITING THE WOMB?
YEAH.
YOU CAN.
ALL RIGHT.
ALL RIGHT.
NICE CAN, MAJOR.
THAT'LL BE ONE FOR "TIME MAGAZINE."
(Irwin) OOH, THAT BACON SMELLS GOOD.
YOU WANT SCRAMBLED?
SCRAMBLED IS FINE, YEAH.
GOING FOR A LITTLE BIT OF HAIR OF THE DOG
WITH THE, UH, THE LEFTOVER BEVERAGE FROM LAST NIGHT?
NO, THERE'S NOT MUCH HAIR IN HERE.
(chuckling)
HAVING FLASHBACKS FROM THE WOMB LAST NIGHT,
WITH ALL THIS SMOKE OVER HERE.
INI--
(laughs)
INIPI!
INI--
INIPI?
INIPI.
GOD, I NEED TO CORRELATE SOMETHING IN MY MIND
TO HELP ME REMEMBER.
OH, I NEED TO PEE.
INIPI.
THAT'S CLOSE.
INIPI, INIPI, INIPI.
ARE WE ALLOWED TO TALK ABOUT THE EXPERIENCE?
IT'S NOT A SECRET SOCIETY THING OR NOTHING.
I MEAN, I DON'T KNOW IF WE HAVE TO TELL CHIEF EVERYTHING
THAT WE DID HERE IN THIS CABIN.
WE JUST DID SOME STUFF, GUY STUFF.
RIGHT.
WHAT GOES ON AT MOOSE LAKE STAYS AT MOOSE LAKE, RIGHT?
YEAH, YOU TELL CHIEF,
YOU KNOW, I THINK MAYBE THERE WAS A SNAKE,
BUT YOU COULDN'T TELL FOR SURE.
THAT'S RIGHT.
WE COULD SAY THAT WE SLEPT IN THE--I NEED TO PEE--IPINI.
IPINI?
INIPI.
INIPI.
YOU JUST CHANTED IT TO YOURSELF
AND YOU'VE ALREADY FORGOTTEN IT.
THIS IS DEFINITELY TOP-NOTCH.
DELICIOUS.
WE SHOULD DO THIS AGAIN SOMETIME.
YEAH.
YEAH, I'D LOVE TO.
BUT NEXT TIME, LET'S DO THE TENT THING OR SOMETHING.
MMM-MM! THIS IS GOOD!
EVERYBODY READY?
YEAH.
SEEMS LIKE WE'VE BEEN GONE LONGER THAN 26 HOURS,
DOESN'T IT?
YEAH.
YOU KNOW, I DON'T REMEMBER A TIME
THAT CHIEF HAS EVER BEEN AWAY FROM ALL OF US
AT THE SAME TIME.
DO YOU?
I DON'T BELIEVE THERE'S EVER BEEN A TIME.
PRETTY CRAZY.
YEAH, IT IS CRAZY.
I KIND OF ARRANGED TURNER TO CHIEF-SIT.
(chuckles)
I'M SURE THEY HAD SOME NAUGHTY TALK GOING ON.
(Joan) SO I SAID, "I'VE NEVER BEEN ON A STRIPPER POLE,"
AND FOR A FINALE I STARTED LICKING THE POLE.
DO YOU KNOW WHERE THAT POLE HAS BEEN?
PROBABLY BEEN ON SOMEONE'S ***.
(car horn beeps)
THERE'S THE MENS.
IT'S ABOUT TIME.
(Irwin) OKAY.
LOOK AT MAJOR IN THAT HAT.
HE LOOKS SO DUMB WITH THAT HAT ON.
CAPTAIN'S GOT CAMO ON.
HEY!
(Joan) PLEASE TAKE THAT HAT OFF.
OH, GOD, NO! NO.
(laughter)
HELLO.
(Brian) WHAT KIND OF EXCITEMENT DID YOU HAVE
WHILE WE WERE GONE?
YOU LOOK A LITTLE DIFFERENT.
THEY FORCED ME TO HAVE A, YOU KNOW, SPRAY TAN.
WHAT DO YOU PLAN TO DO WITH THAT SPRAY TAN?
YOU GONNA PICK UP SOME GUYS, GO TO THE MALL?
NO. WHAT'D YOU DO ON THE CAMPING TRIP?
WHAT HAPPENED?
IT WAS UNEVENTFUL FOR THE MOST PART, YOU KNOW?
FOR THE MOST PART.
MM-HMM.
YEAH.
REALLY?
WE ATE, WE SLEPT--
HOW COME NOBODY'S TELLING ME WHAT HAPPENED OUT THERE?
CERTAIN THINGS THAT WENT ON IS GONNA BE--REMAIN WITH US.
WHAT THE (bleep)
WAS THERE AN ACCIDENT OR SOMETHING?
DID SOMETHING BAD HAPPEN THERE?
DID SOMEBODY TRY TO BOTHER YOU?
DID YOU KNOCK OVER SOMETHING WITH THE CAR?
I DIDN'T EVEN GET BEHIND THE STEERING WHEEL.
DID YOU FALL? IS THAT WHAT IT IS?
DID YOU START BLEEDING OR SOMETHING?
(laughs) STARTED BLEEDING!
WHAT ARE YOU (bleep) LAUGHING AT?
(laughing)
STOP IT. WHAT DID YOU DO?
WHAT IS THE (bleep) DAMN SECRET?
SO I NEED TO GO.
YEAH.
I'M GLAD Y'ALL HAD FUN.
THANKS FOR HANGING OUT HERE.
ALL RIGHT.
WE'LL CATCH YOU LATER.
TAKE CARE.
ALL RIGHT, SO LONG.
SEE YA!
TELL ME WHAT HAPPENED!