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We are cheap hoodlums,
Uncannily cheap hoodlums,
There's no need to yak
To show what a cheap hoodlum is for ladies
And for gentlemen.
For a minor misdeed, dear
lady, you pay a few cents.
And a larger-scale misdeed
Won't ruin your budget either,
We use a system of discounts
For a subscription fee for misdeeds.
If you don't want to get your hands dirty,
The hoodlum will get his dirty for you, cheaply.
We are cheap hoodlums,
Uncannily cheap hoodlums,
There's no need to yak
To show what a cheap hoodlum is for ladies
And for gentlemen.
Burying a corpse in a harbor,
Planting a mouse in a cake,
Seducing a daughter in Lent,
Making a hole in a bridge,
Submerging an uncle in a pond,
Cornering lovers in grass,
Removing unnecessary ladies
Is offered cheaply by a hoodlum.
We are cheap hoodlums,
Uncannily cheap hoodlums,
There's no need to yak
To show what a cheap hoodlum is for ladies
And for gentlemen.
Annoying with a radio from upstairs,
Extortion through torture,
Putting to sleep with a wonderful powder,
Strangling with a stocking,
Disgusting with a kidney stew,
Removing traces with a rag.
An entire menu of such delicacies
Is offered cheaply by a hoodlum.
We are cheap hoodlums,
Uncannily cheap hoodlums,
There's no need to yak
To show what a cheap hoodlum is for ladies
And for gentlemen.
Oh yeah!