Tip:
Highlight text to annotate it
X
OH, LORD HELP ME, NO!
PARDON ME.
UNCLE PHIL, NO DISRESPECT, MAN,
BUT YOU GOT TO WATCH WHERE'S YOU'RE PARKING THAT THING.
MAN, GET YOU SOME FLASHING LIGHTS OR SOME HORNS OR SOMETHING.
BEEP! BEEP! BEEP!
[LAUGHING]
I WAS JUST GOING TO SHUT UP NOW.
YOU'VE BEEN SITTING ON THIS COUCH ALL MORNING.
A LITTLE BORED?
NO, MAN, I'M COOL.
MMM.
WHATCHA READIN'?
A POSTCARD FROM CARLTON.
HE'S DOING SOMETHING WITH HIS SUMMER.
[SNORTS]
[IMITATING CARLTON] "DEAR BIG GUY...
"THANKS A LOT FOR SENDING ME
"TO YOUNG REPUBLICANS CAMP.
"YOSEMITE'S REALLY NEAT.
"HEY, I'M ROOMING WITH NEWT'S NEPHEW...
FIG."
I WOULDN'T MAKE FUN OF THEM.
THESE KIDS ARE THE FUTURE LEADERS OF THIS COUNTRY.
[CHEERING]
♪ NOW THIS IS A STORY ALL ABOUT HOW ♪
♪ MY LIFE GOT FLIPPED ♪
♪ TURNED UPSIDE-DOWN ♪
♪ AND I'D LIKE TO TAKE A MINUTE ♪
♪ JUST SIT RIGHT THERE ♪
♪ I'LL TELL YOU HOW I BECAME THE PRINCE ♪
♪ OF A TOWN CALLED BEL-AIR ♪
♪ IN WEST PHILADELPHIA, BORN AND RAISED ♪
♪ ON THE PLAYGROUND IS WHERE I SPENT MOST OF MY DAYS ♪
♪ CHILLIN' OUT, MAXIN', RELAXING ALL COOL ♪
♪ AND ALL SHOOTIN' SOME B-BALL ♪
♪ OUTSIDE OF THE SCHOOL ♪
♪ WHEN A COUPLE OF GUYS WHO WERE UP TO NO GOOD ♪
♪ STARTED MAKIN' TROUBLE IN MY NEIGHBORHOOD ♪
♪ I GOT IN ONE LITTLE FIGHT ♪
♪ AND MY MOM GOT SCARED ♪
♪ AND SAID YOU'RE MOVING WITH YOUR AUNTIE ♪
♪ AND UNCLE IN BEL-AIR ♪
♪ I WHISTLED FOR A CAB ♪
♪ AND WHEN IT CAME NEAR ♪
♪ THE LICENSE PLATE SAID FRESH ♪
♪ AND IT HAD DICE IN THE MIRROR ♪
♪ IF ANYTHING, I CAN SAY ♪
♪ THAT THIS CAB WAS RARE ♪
♪ BUT I THOUGHT, NAH, FORGET IT ♪
♪ YO, HOMES, TO BEL-AIR ♪
♪ I PULLED UP TO A HOUSE ABOUT 7 OR 8 ♪
♪ AND I YELLED TO THE CABBY ♪
♪ YO, HOMES, SMELL YOU LATER ♪
♪ I LOOKED AT MY KINGDOM, I WAS FINALLY THERE ♪
♪ TO SIT ON MY THRONE AS THE PRINCE OF BEL-AIR ♪♪
CAPTIONING MADE POSSIBLE BY NATIONAL BROADCASTING COMPANY, NBC PRODUCTIONS, INC. AND COCA-COLA CLASSIC
CAPTIONING PERFORMED BY THE NATIONAL CAPTIONING INSTITUTE, INC.
YOU KNOW WHY YOU'RE BORED, DON'T YOU?
YOU MISS YOUR COUSIN CARLTON.
PFAAAH!
PLEASE. ME, MISS CARLTON?
I FORGOT ALL ABOUT HIM.
THAT THING SAY WHEN HE COMING BACK?
HI, EVERYONE. GUESS WHAT.
WOLFGANG PUCK IS COMING ON MY SHOW MONDAY.
WE'RE DOING A COOKING SEGMENT TOGETHER.
MISS HILARY IN THE KITCHEN?
HA HA HA HA HA!
HEY, THAT'S COOL, HIL.
LET'S GO COOK SOMETHING UP NOW.
I'LL HELP YOU PRACTICE.
HELP ME COOK?
YOU MUST REALLY BE BORED.
HEY.
GEOFFREY, IS EVERYTHING READY
FOR JUDGE WALKER'S DINNER TONIGHT?
TO PERFECTION, SIR.
DON'T FORGET TO PUT UP THE PLANTATION SHUTTERS.
I'VE BEEN BRAGGING ABOUT YOUR COOKING TO THE MAN.
HEY, CAN I COME? CAN I COME?
UNFORTUNATELY, YES, YOU WILL BE THERE.
COOL.
THE WHOLE FAMILY WILL BE THERE.
HE'LL BE MAKING HIS DECISION ABOUT WHO WILL PRESIDE OVER
THE SHOW BIZ MADAM TRIAL.
EWW. SHE'S SO SCUZZY.
IT'S BAD ENOUGH SHE GETS HOOKERS FOR MARRIED MEN,
BUT BLUE EYE SHADOW?
HELLO.
YEAH, YOU KNOW, THAT IS A LITTLE STANK.
GEE. IMAGINE A DUDE SO DESPERATE
THAT HE'LL PAY FOR SEX.
[TREMULOUS VOICE] IMAGINE THAT.
IN ANY EVENT,
THIS IS A CAREER-MAKING CASE,
SO I THOUGHT I'D HAVE THE JUDGE OVER AND--
KISS HIS BUTT?
EXACTLY.
AND I EXPECT ALL OF YOU
TO BE ON YOUR BEST BEHAVIOR.
DO I MAKE MYSELF CLEAR...WILL?
YO. I'M GOING TO BE COOL, UNCLE PHIL.
IT'S A COUPLE OF THESE OTHER RABBLE ROUSERS YOU SHOULD WORRY ABOUT.
THIS IS PERFECT. I'LL PREPARE FOR MY SHOW
BY WATCHING GEOFFREY COOK DINNER TONIGHT.
OHH, DEAR GOD.
GUYS, I NEED HELP.
I'M REHEARSING WITH J.L.,
AND I CAN'T DECIDE WHAT TO WEAR.
I REALLY LIKE THIS ONE.
THE ONLY WAY YOU'RE GOING TO WEAR THIS ONE
IS IF YOU WEAR THAT ONE OVER IT.
HEY.
ASHLEY, YOU DON'T NEED J.L. TO HELP YOU.
I'LL REHEARSE THE PLAY WITH YOU.
GOD, WILL, YOU MUST BE REALLY--
BORED!
YES! YES, I'M BORED.
I'LL DO ANYTHING WITH ANYBODY.
NOW, SOMEBODY ASK ME TO DO SOMETHING.
I'M GOING TO PLAY GOLF.
I'M HELPING GEOFFREY IN THE KITCHEN.
BAA!
GEOFFREY, CALL THE CLUB AND CONFIRM OUR FOURSOME
WITH JUDGE WALKER AND HIS WIFE, PLEASE.
WHOA. A FOURSOME.
YOU'RE GETTING A LITTLE FREAKY IN YOUR OLD AGE, HUH?
[CAR HORN HONKS]
COMING, VIVIAN.
HEY, HEY!
UNCLE PHIL!
THIS IS YOUR LAST CHANCE TO MAKE THAT A FIFTHSOME!
[CAR DRIVES OFF]
CALL ME FROM THE COUNTRY CLUB, ALL RIGHT?
YOU KNOW THE NUMBER!
HE'LL CALL.
YOU HAVE TO TEACH ME HOW TO FLAMBé.
IF I DON'T LEARN, I'LL LOOK STUPID ON MY SHOW.
I'M AFRAID THAT SHIP HAS SAILED.
HEY, HEY.
COME ON, G, I WANT TO FLAMBé.
THIS IS A PRIVATE LESSON.
GEOFFREY CAN'T BE BOTHERED TEACHING A MORON TO COOK.
RIGHT, GEOFFREY?
COME ON, G. COME ON.
NOW, THEN.
LET'S FLAMBé.
FIRST YOU SPRINKLE THIS LIQUEUR OVER THE BANANAS,
THEN LIGHT IT WITH A MATCH.
I COULD DO THAT.
LET ME LIGHT THE BANANAS, MAN.
OUT, MASTER WILLIAM.
[BABBLING]
OUT!
ALL RIGHT.
YOU LIGHT IT.
VOILA.
HEY, COME ON.
I CAN DO THAT, G.
VOILA. COME ON, MAN, LET ME TRY THE VOILA.
I NEVER KNEW BANANAS WERE SO FLAMMABLE.
I'M GOING TO KILL YOU, YOU LITTLE SPIDER JERK.
[MAKING FIGHTING NOISES]
HEY, YO, G!
G! I'LL LET YOU BE THE GREEN DUDE THIS TIME.
DANG.
JUST UP AND LEAVE WITHOUT SAYING NOTHING.
PFFT.
TELL ME I CAN'T DO THE FLAMBé.
VOILA.
I CAN'T FLAMBé.
PFFT.
WHOO!
HA HA!
VOILA!
SHOOT.
AAH!
OW! OW!
AAH! AH! AH!
AAH!
I--I SAID DOWN! DOWN!
UHH! DOWN!
VOILA!
IN REVERSE!
[GRUNTING]
OH, DAMN!
GET DOWN!
STOP IT! STOP IT!
AND I'M TELLING YOU THAT WATER WORKS
AND THE ELECTRIC COMPANY
ARE DEPRECIABLE ASSETS.
YOU STILL HAVE TO PAY A LUXURY TAX.
MY DAD WILL KNOW.
[TELEPHONE RINGS]
HELLO! HELLO!
HEY, CARLTON, LOOK!
I CAN'T TALK RIGHT NOW!
THE KITCHEN'S ON FIRE! I'M BURNING THE HOUSE DOWN!
OUR HOUSE IS ON FIRE! I HAVE TO LEAVE NOW.
EL TORO!
TORO!
ALL RIGHT.
HA HA! AH HA!
[GASPING]
OHH!
OH, MAN.
OHH.
HA HA HA!
WHOO!
THAT WAS CLOSE.
THAT WAS CLOSE.
OH, MAN.
OH, MY GOD.
I DON'T BELIEVE IT.
WHEW!
I ALMOST BURNED THE KITCHEN DOWN.
[SMOKE ALARM BLARES]
AAH! AAH!
OH, NO!
NO!
AAH!
AUNTIE EM!
AUNTIE EM!
[GASPING AND SHUDDERING]
MAMA, NO!
OHH!
OUR WORK HERE IS DONE.
YOU O.K.?
NO, I'M NOT O.K., MAN.
HOW COULD I DO THIS?
IT AIN'T LIKE I AIN'T DONE SOME STUPID STUFF,
BUT HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO EXPLAIN THIS?
SON, JUST HOW DID THIS HAPPEN?
I HAD A LITTLE ACCIDENT...
COOKING THE FLAMBé.
FLAMBé?
YOU TORCHED YOUR UNCLE'S KITCHEN COOKING FLAMBé?
HA HA HA HA!
BLACK FOLKS AIN'T SUPPOSED TO COOK FLAMBé.
YOU STUPID.
HEY, GUYS.
SISSY BOY BEEN COOKING FLAMBé.
[LAUGHING OUTSIDE]
HA! HA! AH--
I HOPE I'VE BEEN OF ASSISTANCE TO YOU.
GOOD EVENING, MASTER WILLIAM.
OF ALL THE ROOMS TO BURN IN YOUR UNCLE'S HOUSE...
THE KITCHEN!
ARE YOU MAD, BOY?
G, I'M TELLING YOU,
IT WAS AN ACCIDENT, MAN.
REMEMBER I WATCHED YOU POOF THE FLAMBé?
I HAD LIKED THAT,
SO THEN I CAME IN AND I POOFED.
BUT I POOFED BIG.
TOO BIG.
AND...
I POOFED THE KITCHEN DOWN.
G, UNCLE PHIL'S BIG DINNER IS TONIGHT.
HEY, HEY. MAN, LOOK,
YOU GOT TO HELP ME FIX THIS.
GOOD DAY, MASTER WILLIAM.
G, G, WHERE ARE YOU GOING?
I HAD A NIGHT OF WORK AHEAD OF ME IN THIS KITCHEN,
BUT NOW THERE IS NO KITCHEN.
FAREWELL.
G, G!
CHEERIO! TOODLE PIP!
UNCLE PHIL IS GOING TO KILL ME.
YOU GOT TO HELP ME.
NO.
G, G. ALL RIGHT. IF NOT FOR ME,
THEN DO IT FOR UNCLE PHIL.
IF UNCLE PHIL SEES THIS,
HE'LL BLOW UP IN FRONT OF THE JUDGE,
AND THAT WILL WRECK HIS CHANCES.
G, I MADE A MISTAKE.
I MADE A BIG MISTAKE.
BUT IT'S MY MISTAKE, NOT UNCLE PHIL'S.
HE SHOULDN'T HAVE TO SUFFER FOR IT.
LOOK, ALL I'M ASKING YOU TO DO
IS JUST HELP ME GET THROUGH THIS DINNER.
JUST ONE NIGHT, G.
I'M BEGGING YOU, MAN.
PLEASE?
NOPE.
G!
ALL RIGHT!
HEY, HEY, THANKS A LOT, G.
I'M GOING TO GO UPSTAIRS,
SEE IF I CAN FIND A RESTAURANT THAT WILL DELIVER.
YOU CAN PINE SOLVE THIS LITTLE PROBLEM DOWN HERE.
[TRUCK STOPS]
WHERE YOU GOING?
LOS ANGELES.
HOP IN.
WHEW! THANKS FOR PICKING ME UP.
I LEFT MY WALLET AT THE HOTEL.
COULDN'T GET A CAB,
THERE ARE NO PLANES OR BUSES.
AM I GLAD TO SEE YOU.
I'M GLAD TO SEE YOU, TOO.
[SNIFFS]
HALSTON?
WHOA! THIS IS MY STOP.
EXCUSE ME. I'LL BE RIGHT BACK DOWN.
IT'S A SHAME YOUR WIFE COULDN'T JOIN US FOR DINNER.
WHY?
UH...UH...
HEY!
HEY.
LOOK WHO'S BACK FROM GOLFING.
WILL, THIS IS JUDGE WALKER.
NICE TO MEET YOU, JUDGE.
[SNIFF SNIFF]
WHAT IS THAT SMELL?
UH...DON'T LOOK AT ME.
YOU'RE THE ONE BEEN SWINGING THEM GOLF CLUBS ALL DAY.
WHOO!
NO...
MESQUITE?
BARBECUE.
PHIL, ARE WE HAVING BARBECUE?
IS THERE SOMETHING BARBECUED BACK THERE?
UH, YEAH, YOU COULD SAY THAT.
WHY DON'T WE WALK BACK THERE AND SEE WHAT IS COOKING?
WHAA!
HEH HEH HEH.
YOU ALL WANT TO SPOIL THE SURPRISE?
WILL...
NO, HE'S RIGHT.
I WOULDN'T DREAM OF INTERRUPTING A CHEF AT WORK.
THAT'S RIGHT.
LISTEN, WHY DON'T YOU SHOW HIM THE LIBRARY?
MAN, UNCLE PHIL GOT SOME BOOKS.
BRITANNICA, WEBSTER'S,
PLAYBOY. HA HA!
OOH! MAN, WE DODGED THAT BULLET THAT TIME, G.
WE?
ISN'T THAT A PRONOUN THAT WOULD INCLUDE ME?
YOU KNOW, THAT LITTLE ATTITUDE OF YOURS
ISN'T HELPING ANYTHING, G.
MAN, YOU--
GOT THE FOOD!
OH, MY GOD!
ASHLEY.
I OWN UP. ASHLEY--
HOW DID THIS HAPPEN?
HE DID IT.
DOES DAD KNOW?
NO.
OH, HE'S GOING TO KILL YOU.
THAT'S EXACTLY WHY HE CAN'T SEE THIS UNTIL THE JUDGE LEAVES.
BECAUSE MURDERERS, THEY'RE FELONS.
AND FELONS, THEY CAN'T BE JUDGES.
GET WHERE I'M GOING?
SO THIS IS OUR LITTLE SECRET.
ME, YOU, AND GEOFFREY.
[HILARY] OH, MY GOD!
AND HILARY.
SO WHAT I'M SAYING IS,
THERE SHOULDN'T BE A RICH OR POOR.
WE SHOULD ALL JUST SHARE THE WEALTH, MAN.
OH, I BEG TO DIFFER.
STANLEY, WE DIDN'T DISCUSS THIS MUCH ON THE GOLF COURSE,
BUT HAVE YOU BEEN CONSIDERING YOUR DECISION ABOUT THE SHOW BIZ MADAM?
HAVE YOU EVER EATEN AT THAT LITTLE HUNGARIAN PLACE
DOWN BY THE COURTHOUSE?
THEY HAVE A DELICIOUS GOULASH.
COULD I, UH, TROUBLE YOU FOR SOME WATER?
NO TROUBLE.
WHERE'S GEOFFREY?
[TOGETHER] I'LL GET HIM!
WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
UH...JUST TRYING TO BE HELPFUL, DADDY.
YOU ALL JUST RELAX. I'LL GET EVERYBODY SOME WATER.
I'LL GET SOME WATER FOR EVERYBODY.
WOULDN'T IT BE SIMPLER
IF YOU JUST GOT A PITCHER, WILL?
PFFT!
GOOD THINKING, UNCLE PHIL.
EXCELLENT JUDGE-MENT, YOU KNOW.
HE GOT GOOD JUDGE-MENT.
[LAUGHING]
CAN DO LIKE A JUDGE.
HE'S A GOOD JUDGE.
G, WHAT IS TAKING SO LONG?
I DON'T KNOW.
LACK OF A KITCHEN?
LOOK, I NEED A PITCHER.
AH.
ALL RIGHT. COOL.
BUT THE BEST FRIED CHICKEN IN TOWN
IS THIS LITTLE JOINT TWO BLOCKS FROM THE COURTHOUSE.
WILL, WHAT IS THIS?
OH, UH...
THAT'S A LITTLE MINERAL WATER.
IT'S GOOD FOR YOU. DRINK UP.
THEY MAKE IT TWO WAYS-- EXTRA CRISPY AND EXTRA SPICY.
BUT I CAN'T TAKE THE EXTRA SPICY.
LORD KNOWS I LOVE IT, BUT IT DOESN'T LOVE ME.
UH...
EXCUSE ME FOR, UH, JUST A SECOND.
IXNAY ON THE INDIAN FOOD.
JUDGE CAN'T TAKE SPICY.
DID YOU--
DON'T JUST STAND THERE. HELP ME!
THIS IS INSANITY!
I WANT NO PART OF THIS, MASTER WILLIAM.
YOU HAVE GONE TOO FAR!
IF I GOT TO HOSE DOWN SOME POULTRY TO PULL THIS OFF, I WILL.
ARE YOU WITH ME?
UM, RED OR BROWN?
G, RED OR BROWN?
DON'T MAKE ME CHOOSE!
RED OR BROWN?
OOH!
BROWN.
[SIGH]
THE NEXT THING I KNOW,
I'M ON THIS TRAIN HEADING FOR HOME.
SO ALL IN ALL,
THIS HAS BEEN THE MOST BIZARRE NIGHT OF MY LIFE.
DO YOU EVER WONDER
WHAT MAKES YOUR SKIN STAY ON?
[CHUCKLES]
BON APPé***, MESDAMES ET MESSIEURS.
PHILIP, HOW ABOUT A TOAST?
JUST MAKE IT QUICK.
IT'S GETTING COLD.
TO WARM FOOD.
HEAR, HEAR.
MMM.
MMM!
MMM.
OH, SWEET MAMA. NOW, THAT'S CHICKEN.
MMM.
I'VE SAID IT BEFORE, AND I'LL SAY IT AGAIN,
SHOW ME A MAN WHO KNOWS GOOD FOOD,
AND I'LL SHOW YOU A MAN OF GOOD JUDGMENT.
AND YOU, PHIL, ARE A MAN OF GOOD JUDGMENT.
YES!
BEFORE I CONGRATULATE YOU, I WANT TO CONGRATULATE YOUR CHEF.
NO!
I THINK WE ALL SHOULD.
BUT, DADDY, GEOFFREY'S SO SHY.
OH, WE'D JUST EMBARRASS HIM.
YOU KNOW WHAT WE ALL NEED?
A NICE BRISK WALK AROUND THE BLOCK.
RIGHT!
HAVE FUN.
LET'S GO.
OHH...UH...
UH...
THIS WAY. HAVE A SEAT.
YO, GEOFFREY!
HA HA HA!
HOW WAS YOUR DINNER, SIR?
OH, INCREDIBLE. YOU ARE A MAGICIAN.
AH, YOU'RE TOO KIND.
IT WAS NOTHING.
NO MORE TROUBLE THAN...ORDERING IN.
OH, YOU'RE MUCH TOO MODEST.
OH, THANK GOD YOU'RE ALL RIGHT!
WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?
WHEN WILL TOLD ME THE KITCHEN WAS ON FIRE,
I DIDN'T KNOW WHAT TO EXPECT.
[PHIL AND VIV] WHAT?
UM...
LISTEN, UM,
WE HAD A LITTLE MISHAP
IN THE KITCHEN EARLIER, BUT--
OHH!
IT'S COOL, THOUGH!
[VIV] AAH!
WHAT IN THE WORLD--
OH, MY GOD!
YOU WERE ABLE TO PREPARE
A MAGNIFICENT MEAL LIKE THAT IN THERE?
IF I COULD STEAL YOU AWAY, I WOULD.
PLEASE HOLD THAT THOUGHT, SIR.
UM...UNCLE PHIL, I CAN EXPLAIN.
NOW, NOW, SON.
THE MOST IMPORTANT THING IS THAT YOU'RE O.K.
WHAT?
THINGS CAN BE REPLACED.
THIS IS A SPECIAL FAMILY.
VIVIAN, PHILIP,
THANK YOU FOR A WONDERFUL EVENING.
AND THIS MAN WILL HAVE YOU ON THE SUPREME COURT
IN NO TIME.
CAPTIONING MADE POSSIBLE BY NATIONAL BROADCASTING COMPANY, NBC PRODUCTIONS, INC. AND COCA-COLA CLASSIC
UNCLE PHIL...
YOU GOING TO LET ME GO ANYTIME SOON?
NO, WILL.
THAT'S COOL.
CAPTIONING PERFORMED BY THE NATIONAL CAPTIONING INSTITUTE, INC.