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The Amstrad CPC Show
with Jimmy Amsoft.
Hello and welcome. For this episode I
have chosen to show you guys "Bruce Lee" by U.S.Gold
and Datasoft. This is because I was out drinking
with my roommates last night; an Irish
ZX Spectrum and a Welsh Commodore 64.
It was a brutal night and I almost had all of my
128k memory WIPED, so I need to keep things simple with regards
to my game review today. I just love the simplicity of this game.
It almost succeeds in taking my mind of that fact
that I'm hanging like a horse *** at the moment.
I feel so tender like I've had a joystick
shoved right up my ***. So please bare with me.
Look at that!
You wee beauty! This is just what the doctor ordered.
You just don't see things like this these days.
A game that rewards you
with 2,000 points simply because you managed to run
to the games second screen! Amazing!
I feel better already....well, I DID
just until I took a punch from a fat, green sumo wrestler.
Who the hell designed him? The black ninja is understandable.
In fact he's expected & is almost a guaranteed stereotype
but a green sumo wrestler
is just so out of the blue. Though, I have to admit I do
like his lovely little, black gloves. As you might have already guessed
the main objective of this game is
to collect to proceed. Each series of screens
presents you with this selection of objects to collect.
Once every item has been collected then you're able to move
on to the next level. Bruce Lee was born "Lee Jun-Fan"
in San Francisco, California in 1940.
He was raised in Hong Kong eventually returning to the American as a
young adult
& sadly died at the age of 32 back in Hong Kong during the making of
"Enter the Dragon"..................So why the *** is this
game set in Japan, Canada and Switzerland?????
Jesus! It's easy to be sarcastic
and negative but I DO have positive things to say about this game:
I find the control responsiveness to be rather good
and the game's difficulty as well graduated
throughout because by the end of this adventure you'll be ***
lightning bolts of
fury and cursing the name of both Amstrad
and Bruce Lee!
Wait...... I'm going to quickly reset
because there is no point playing through this game the conventional
way as time is precious and we're both already getting a bit bored ;)
There's a sneaky wee trick during the early few screens
that allow you the opportunity to skip levels by a laying Bruce
down on the floor near walls. I don't like to cheat as I am Scottish ;) ;)
but for reasons of time economy I will do what I
can to zoom through the game because the last screen is simply
phenomenal and I have to show you. I might as well fast-forwarded a bit
'coz there's a *** of a screen later on in the game
that makes me *** out tears of pain and you might think it
impressive of me to complete. You may even applaud,
whistle and eventually consider giving me a ***.
(I have multiple accessories).
Sorry....... :( ........Fast-Forward:
So here we are. This screen is more tricky
than it looks. This screen is an exquisite ***!
I'm only getting through it because I'm lucky ***.
It has nothing to do with skill or ability.
(Fast-Forward):
Now this screen is not the hardest due to the fact that you might lose
lives. It is the hardest due to its cunning misdirection.
It potentially leads you off on a wild goose chase
up to the left-hand side of the screen and up to the top.
When in actual fact,
you need to climb up here and jump like a crazy man off to the right
and through the small gap.........***!
Well, nobody's perfect! I'm an obsolete computer
from the 80's so what do you expect? There you go!
You wee beauty! Now all we have to do is climb up
and get ready for some running!
Run, run, run! Keep running Brucie! Run, run, run, run you
wee ***! Don't stop you wee prick!
Oh Geez-oh! That was close!
Finally, we are here!
After a brief epileptic seizure caused by the insane graphics
we have made it to the treasure room. Why? I don't bloody know!
Who cares? He's jumping for joy!
(The Greedy ***!).
I spoke too soon! He's back at the start
and he's lost all his treasure! Well, that's a good life lesson:
"Don't ever try because you will only ever lose!".
That's enough for Today. Thank you very much for watching.
I've been your host Jimmy Amsoft
and now it's time to shut down........