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♪ Photograph some memories ♪
♪♪ Love and devotion in time of need ♪
♪ Oh, yeah ♪
♪ I got my mama upon ♪
♪ That's my mama ♪
♪ That's my mama ♪
♪ She's the force that gives me strength ♪
♪ Oh, yeah ♪
♪ That's my mama ♪
♪ That's my mama ♪
♪ A blue-ribbon homemaker ♪
♪ Yeah ♪
♪ Oh, sweet Mama ♪
♪ That's my mama ♪
♪ That's my mama ♪
♪ I'm talking about my mama ♪♪
[ Yawns ]
Mirror, mirror on the wall, I am the baddest of them all...
because I'm handsome, dark and tall and got a whole lot--
on the ball.
Will you hurry up, Earl? You're takin' longer than a Muslim...
x
Hey, Clifton. Now, you go on and you start getting ready...
you do, man.
I'm gettin' pretty, huh? Hey, now, if that famous painter Michael D'Angelo...
had rushed when he was paintin' that Mona chick, she would've been just another centerfold.
Earl, Leonardo da Vinci did the Mona Lisa, not "Michael D'Angelo."
I think See, the
That's what the smile was about, lowbrow.
Well, I'll meet you in the house, Leonardo.
Whoo! What a day. I hate cuttin' Roland La Garde's hair.
ut
Hmm. It was the first time I ever saw a man get his Afro stuck in the doorway.
ate.
Oh?
- Just "oh." - Mama, last time you said "just ‘oh'" like that...
g
or maybe both.
Well, I'm glad you got those twins out of your system,
night.
- You should settle down like Leonard. - Leonard's not just settled.
He's in a coma.
I feel sorry for those girls you date.
Hmm. You take 'em out, their hearts
- And you don't even call 'em back. - Mama, Sharon is different.
- Sharon? - Yeah. Sharon Hawkins.
y.
You know, mother and father both milkmen.
♪ Da, da, da ♪ Bam.
?
How you like it?
Oh, I knew you would like it. I kn
A 225 sale. A dude sold it to me out of the trunk of an Electra 225.
road ♪
♪ Come on, ease on down ease on down the road ♪
Ow! ♪ Come on, ease on down ease on down that road ♪
Earl, if you don't stop that, you gonna be easin' on down the stairs.
that e, huh?
o!
I haven't danced that much since the last Redskins game...
when I was waitin' on line for the men's room.
Wasn't that too much? Huh? Hey, Cliff?
Oh, there you go, man. Come on in here.
What you think
Wasn't that singing group something? It sounded just like the Temptations.
Shoot. After a while, I forgot they was Korean.
They were terrific, man, especially the way they played "The Hustle" on that gong.
Yeah. [ Imitates "The Hustle" Played On Gong ]
ht!
I can't remember the last time I had such a good time, huh, Cliff?
Uh, Earl, speaking of Korea, I know this great Korean restaurant we can go to.
ot
Hey, look, now. The four of us can have a great time right here, huh?
Hey, look, there is this great black kung fu movie coming on channel five.
It's called Leroy's Hands of Death.
isville.
Earl, why don't we go out and get something to eat now?
Go out? What? And leave all our friends?
That's rude, huh, Cliff? I mean, besides, we just got back.
I'm still full of beer nuts and beef jerky. Y'all don't wanna go out, do ya?
Oh, no, but, please, don't let us stop you.
[ Diane ] Uh-huh. Uh-huh.
Aw, no.
We all havin' such a good time right here.
Well, you know what they say: Two' and
Oh, well, lucky we got four here, huh?
Oh, shoot. All right.
- I'll be back soon as I can. Y'all have fun, ya hear? - [ Clifton ] We'll try.
All right. Hey, hey, hey. Cliff. Cliff.
Look here. Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Please?
♪ Come on, ease on down ease on down the road ♪
Stevie Wonder: male singer.
Aretha Franklin: female singer.
Little Richard--
[ Doorbell Rings ]
♪ I got it I got it ♪
♪ And I got to report ♪
Come on, brother man. Let's get in the wind,
t a date
Earl.
here any minute, man.
]
Junior, thanks for the invitation, but, hey,
you know I've been going with Sharon lately, and I'm not interested--
Hey, man. What's wrong with you?
Don't yo that the
I mean, a little bit of this and a little bit of that.
You know, sort of "smorgas-broads."
Look, Junior, I've finally found that special one somebody.
enue,
takin' my chances, hopin' to get lucky.
Hey, man, well, we can go someplace else.
Why don't we go e White House, man,
if the president's son is on the grass.
's Earl.
[ Heavy Knocking ]
of a man who's in desperate need of a consenting adult.
[ Heavy Knocking Continues ]
Hey, what's happening?
All set, man. I even had my car washed. I could see my face in it.
Yeah, you better throw some dirt on it, quick.
the big two.
Cliff's not comin'.
fool?
Hey, man. Now, lighten up. Now, you've been down on my case...
ever since that rock concert, when we tried to climb up on the stage,
and Aretha Franklin stomped on your fingers.
- Why do you need me along? - Why? I got to have you along.
Oh, I don't believe it, man. Something has got to be wrong...
than hangin' out on the corners with the fellas, man.
Yeah. Now, you know that something is wrong with a dude...
life.
- What's that? - All the other chicks.
es?
Yeah. If I can ditch my chick, Diane, for tonight, you can do the same thing.
ron walk
No. She's treatin' you just like dirt,
Ho-ho!
You know, you henpecked. You are a henpecked dude.
[ Clucking Like Chicken ]
If that's the way chickens act, it's no wonder the Colonel
- Look, why don't you just leave me alone? - All right, man. I'm sorry.
Everything is cool. I can dig it. I mean, a lot of guys like Cliff.
They need a strong woman to push 'em around and tell 'em what to do.
- Earl. - Listen. There is a word for people who like to get hurt.
Look, once and for all, will you just leave me alone? Come on, man.
I just wanna spend a nice, quiet evening sorting my records.
Hey, that doesn't make any sense, man. I mean,
ch a sure thing
I mean, how come you home alone?
Sharon's out with her folks tonight. They're visiting from out of town.
.
You guys don't give up, do you?
Come on now. Are the Three Musketeers gonna ride tonight, man?
ow--
.
Just so you two clowns will have somebody to take home.
What--
[ Chattering ]
Oh, that's too bad.
If she'd gone for the curtain instead of the box, she would've won the money.
But now she's stuck with the baby buffalo.
Well, the trick is to watch Monty Hall's eyes.
And when they start u know you going
Oh, where is Clifton?
.
in front of the singles bar waiting for leftovers?
Oh?
He's got himself a steady girlfriend.
Ooh.
[ Doorbell Ringing ]
o, M
Hello, Mrs. Pearce.
Oh, hello. Well, uh, I've gotta go, Eloise.
- Clifton's not here, Sharon. - Oh.
ifton when he comes back?
Ooh, how nice! But don't you think you should give this gift to Clifton in person?
celet, and,
well, I just can't accept it.
- Why? Is it hot? - Laura, don't be silly.
Sharon probably means 't fit,
Oh, it fits my wrist; it just doesn't fit our relationship.
second thought, stay.
What's your hurry, my dear?
s my house,
.
ton,
I will. Sharon, now, I know this is none of my business--
s never ped you before.
between you and her son, Clifton, the haircutter.
Sounds to me like you two are hot to tie the knot.
Well, Sharon, that's the impression I get from Clifton.
Well, th
See, tha
I'm just not ready to settle down.
I am young, and there are a lot of things I wanna do.
I think a steady relationship would just get in the way.
- I'm not sure I understand. - She's saying she wants to fool around.
is,
way?
Well, I really have to go. Would you tell Clifton-- tell him I'm sorry.
Well, I'm sure Clifton'll be back soon.
Earl.
If you see Earl, tell him to call Diane. She wants to talk to him.
All right.
Good-bye, Mrs. Pearce.
Hmm. If I knew then what she knows now--
now now
ick...
if you hadn't confessed that we was barbers.
Earl, I had to do something to keep you from looking foolish, man.
I mean, this isn't the kind of hat the ambassador to Zaire wears.
That's right. His is green.
Mama. Mama? What you doin' up so late?
, I guess ve dozed off.
[ Chuckles ] Oh, well, Earl, you plannin' on stayin' here long?
- Oh, I thought I might get a quick beer. - Oh, well, I guess...
in'.
- Good night. - What you gonna tell me in the mornin', Mama?
Well, Clifton, it's private. I don't think I should tell you in front of Earl.
Oh--
Oh, and especially since it's kind of bad news.
[ Yawns ] Well, you have a good night's sleep, and I'll tell you in the morning.
Mama!
Oh, um, Earl, Diane would like to talk to ya.
Diane? She called here? What for? How did she sound? Am I out?
omebody stopped by...
mention e
Well, somebody like that.
And what was Sharon
Forget you, turkey.
- What's goin' on? - Well,
Diane would like to see you, but it wasn't urgent.
Sure. Sure. I mean, it never is when a woman tells a dude, "Bye, sucker."
.
the biggest thing that could depress me would be my mama sloppin' squash on my plate.
Say, Mama, what is this doing here?
That's the bad news we shouldn't talk about till morning.
it?
Yeah. I'd better get over there and talk to her about it too right now.
Yeah. I'm gonna talk to Diane. I mean,
if she's gonna dump me, I should at least have the chance to punch her out.
No, Earl. Look, I wanna talk to Sharon alone.
Okay. I won't go. I mean, I don't I'm desp
n.
Good night.
[ Knocking ]
[ Clifton ] It's me, Clifton.
Clifton? It's 1:30 in the morning.
Oh, hi, Diane.
.
Thanks.
Oh. Well, how long do her showers usually run?
[ Knocking ]
[ Earl ] It's your pearl--
Earl.
Come in?
Hi, pookie.
.
you had things straightened out by now, and I ju wait till mornin
Well, hey, Earl, I haven't had a chance to talk to Sharon yet.
l be clean bum.
- Earl, why don't you leave? - Uh-uh. I am not leaving until I get an explanation.
na work.
Not gonna work? But last night, you said it was perfect.
. You thought we hardly
Yes, baby.
Oh, no. Shh.
I'm tired of goin' out with somebody who's only got one thing on his mind.
Well Earl
man
That's deep.
talked?
Oh, at r
sation
That wasn't a conversation. I kept saying "no," and you kept saying, "Why not?"
Earl, I have nothing against having fun, but I want more.
Wait a minute, pookie. Look, now.
I mean, I treat you good. ou ever p in for gas.
We never once had a cultural discussion.
Ooh, that's not true. Remember the time I explained to you the rule about the infield fly?
Earl, that's not
r
- What are you doing here? - Sharon, I want to talk.
[ Diane ] Earl!
-
Look, Sharon, I know I should've called before I came over here,
asier
I'll call you.
Clifton, the bracelet was beautiful.
Why not?
Well, I think you wanna have a different kind of relationship than I do.
un.
Baby, we've been serious since our third date.
serious.
You gave me a gold bracelet,
[ Earl ] See that, fool? I told you to buy her that Speidel Twist-O-Flex!
Look, Sharon. I just thought this was a nice present.
To me, a gold bracelet's a commitment.
.
u is whoopee.
All you want from me is a good time; then it's, "Good-bye, Mr. Clippers."
?
[ Earl ] Who cares, fool?
Earl, shut up!
Clifton, I just don't wanna get hurt.
Well, baby, hey. Nobody does. But if you don't take a chance every now and then,
ty empty.
Clifton, you're really being unfair. This is no time to hit me with logic.
is yours.
Well, I'll take it. Not as a gift,
fits.
Ohh. Good. Maybe you'll grow into it.
Hey, y'all.
Me and Diane have talked everything out, and from now on,
I'm gonna understanding,
Uh-huh.
Uh-huh.
Right, woman?
- That's great, Earl. - You know, I knew this would happen one day.
like
"Someday, we'll be together."
Yeah. Yeah. Hey. s just like
"Hit the road, Jack."
That's a good song too. Dig it. ♪ Hit the road, Jack and don't you come back-- ♪
[ Earl Laughing ] Wow, Cliff, what a night, huh, blood?
And mornin', man. You know that it is 8:30?
- Ohh, so there you are. - Oh, mornin', Mama. I could sure go for some breakfast.
Earl.
.
o.
I mean, you know how it is with women. At first,
they don't wanna become involved, you know?
Then, when they really decide to, they really go for romance.
Then love. And after love, there's nothin' left except marriage.
- Hey, where you goin', fool? - I'm gonna go get that bracelet back.