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Sorry, sorry, I didn't want to be in this sketch, it was Pochettino [Espanyol's coach] who pushed me, I'm leaving now.
What I just said. The fact that stupid Guardiola is allowed to arrive late for a game shows that there's one set of rules for me and another for everyone else.
How about we go to another field and see what happens if we also arrive late?
No. You're punished so you're going to stay here. You're going to write 1000 times; "I may not be expelled unless the mistér asks me" [no me expulsarán si no me lo pida el mistér]
[he can't spell the words properly]
2 hours later...
How do you spell expelled? [expulsarán]
The Guti cave is great!
Gutiérrez! What's up?
Hey! Istanbul to Madrid, without air traffic controls! Heh
Guti, where are you going, dressed like that?
Listen, when I'm dressed like this, I'm either Portugese or Vincente Del Bosque [La Roja's coach, former RM coach] at the beach. It's so Mourinho will think I'm Portugese and sign me in the winter market.
2-0, 2-0! Against Valencia! I'm still undefeated at home. And I'm still undefeated in the CL. I'm not suprised that people are envious of me, but like my grandmother said, be happy if they envy you.
Who's this?
Eh, this is a Portugese player who wants to sign with Madrid, but I... I don't know him.
Your face looks familiar. Are you sure you're a Portugese?
Yes, José María Gutianga. Nice to meet you!
Do you like codfish?
He's asking me if I like codfish [in spanish the same word means techno] Yes, I love it, especially this... pim pam pim pam
Who should coach Portugal?
Mourinho.
Yes! 100% Portugese! Signed! Training session at 8 tomorrow morning!
At eight in the morning? But with Pellegrini we always started at 12, and I thought that was early. Today is Saturday and there are parties!
GUTI!
Well, I'm leaving. Today there's a great party in Istanbul and there aren't any alcohol controls there.
Drive carefully!
Are you my mother? You make it sound like I'm going to crash into a bus. Sergio, are you coming?
Mistér, mistér, since I'm suspended and thus won't be allowed to play against Auxerre, can I go with him? Please... [porfa porfa porfa porfa porfa]