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I *** with that girl
and now she's punishing me for it.
- You made me go mad.
- You're making me mad now.
- We are Cook and Effy.
- We've never met.
I'm not scared.
You're no good
for me, Cook.
I need John.
He'll make me better.
- You're John Foster.
- And you must be Freddie.
Can't let you have her,
I'm afraid.
She really does love you,
you know.
# Thought it was a nightmare #
# Lo, it's all so true, #
# They told me,
"Don't go walkin' slow" #
# "'Cause Devil's on the loose.
" #
# Better run through the jungle #
# Better run through the jungle #
# Better run through the jungle #
# Woah, don't look
back to see.
#
# Thought I heard a rumblin' #
# Callin' to my name #
# Two hundred million guns
are loaded #
# Satan cries, "Take aim!" #
# Better run through the jungle #
# Better run through the jungle #
# Better run through the jungle #
# Woah, don't look
back to see #
# Over on the mountain #
# Thunder magic spoke #
# "Let the people know
my wisdom" #
# "Fill the land with smoke" #
# Better run through the jungle #
# Better run through the jungle #
# Better run through the jungle #
Three.
- # Woah, don't look back to see #
- Four.
***.
Come on, get up!
Five
Come on!
Freds?
I'm wearing your best tee.
Anything?
Only in my head.
He's talking in my head.
What's our Fred saying?
He's saying
they're all *** mad.
Two, three and go!
Yup.
Where's Panda gone?
What's she doing?
Oh my God!
You're going the wrong way!
Go, Panda.
They're all after you.
Bounce to me!
Ems! I'm back!
No!
Oh my God.
Oh my God.
Oh, ***.
Hi.
I got eggs.
We can have eggs, yeah?
And Red Bulls
and pain au chocolat and
I got the heat.
What?
She'd been snoring
like that all night.
What?
You were both
so *** trashed.
So I slept in the sofa
with Panda.
Right.
She's quite cute.
For a straight girl.
Wow.
In the scud.
- When did that happen?
- I didn't notice.
Good thing.
You might have got
you know
Tempted
I was wrecked.
Yeah.
You were both *** corn.
Like I said, cute.
Is this bad?
You all need your breakfast?
I can fry you,
poach you, scramble you.
Do you any way you like.
But shower though,
cause, Ems
You smell of something
and it ain't roses.
Couldn't you have just brought me
some grapes or something?
Grapes are for chipmunks.
This is so better.
I wrote you a song,
I just can't get the hang of
*** and ***,
the instructions were in Japanese!
Oh, *** me up
the *** three ways!
- Come on, you nonky ***!
- Language!
Great, innit? I've been practising.
Oh, I've got it!
Scrapey, scrapey for you,
shakey, shakey for you.
What for?
Life.
Can't stand still, can we?
So this is gonna
cheer you up.
# Some days are disasters #
# That you wish could just end #
# Other days are *** #
# Just like a bad boyfriend #
# But it makes me feel
much worse than this #
# To see a face masked
with a frown #
# I'm not telling you to smile,
but don't be down #
# Don't be down, my friend #
# Don't do your wrist
any harm #
# You don't belong
on a funny farm #
# And I'd rather see you in a party
dress than in a hospital gown #
# I'm not telling you to smile,
but don't be down #
Do, do, do, do, do, do.
- Do, do, do, do, do, do.
- Did you write that?
Oh, *** me!
Seems nice.
Met her at Dojo's.
Hit it off.
You know.
Like a whirlwind romance.
Yeah, well,
we got chatting.
Did you?
No.
Well least
you're moving on.
Yeah.
Yeah,
I'm well over Eff.
Finito.
It's like liberating, yeah.
- Good.
- Moving on.
I'm looking
forward to meeting
Phew, *** hell! I'm never
having the mezze platter again.
I opened the window a bit,
you know.
Naomi, Arcia.
- Pardon?
- Arcia.
Sorry, I didn't quite
Arcia.
Arcia?!
Arcia, all right?
Yeah, it's fine.
Arcia, Arcia.
It's pretty
- Arcia.
- Cheers.
Listen, lover,
I think I lost my *** thong
in the bus station.
Er, did you?
You know I *** did,
stud man!
He's a little criminal.
That is what they say.
Yeah.
I'm not going!
I'm fine here! Leave me alone!
Sometimes
it's hard to move on.
How are you, Elizabeth?
Better.
Sure?
No.
Your mother
wants you to go home.
She says she can look
after you there.
- Is that good?
- Good?
You know better than that,
Elizabeth.
We have to forget about
good and bad.
My boyfriend ran away.
That was bad.
How can we know?
If only we knew
how things will turn out.
Yeah.
I came to tell you that
I'm leaving my job here.
You?
You're leaving?
Don't be upset.
I think
Maybe it's time.
Do I say thank you?
We don't know yet.
But I think
Yes, you could be something
I'm proud of.
I'll never forget you.
No.
You won't.
Goodbye, Elizabeth.
Goodbye.
Effy, Effy
Freds?
I thought you didn't
sleep with her any more.
Yeah, well,
people keep moving in.
Isn't what you told me,
that's all.
Mandy, we haven't done
anything.
So, I don't why
I mean,
we didn't do anything last night.
Did we?
You wanted to.
If you hadn't been totally
*** AWOL
No.
I didn't.
Yeah?
Otherwise,
what have we been doing?
What have you been doing?
She thinks I'm straight!
What?
How do you even
Said it when she was
looking at my ***, didn't she?
Bit *** up, that.
I don't want to be
*** around, Emily.
Just cos she won't
take you to Goa.
Don't.
I'd take you.
We'd go dancing.
Sleep in a hut.
I'd make love to you
on the beach.
Isn't that
what you want?
Ems! Mandy!
Breakfast!
Oh, yeah.
There's someone here
you've got to meet.
You're Freddie's sister.
Yeah.
Thomas, right?
I thought maybe
he's hiding in here.
Why would he hide
from you?
I don't know.
But something's not right.
So I want to
I don't fit here.
I don't think it matters.
I don't fit anywhere.
But I like
all the wrong things.
- Like?
- You know.
Gossip Girl, Davina,
*** Van ***,
Lady And The ***,
Hannah Montana,
Monster Trucks,
Dancing On Ice,
mojitos, Rio Ferdinand,
Marsala Zone, Pop Tarts,
Jude Law's accent in Cold Mountain,
hair straighteners, Love Actually,
Kylie, Whitney, Britney, Robbie,
Brucie, L'Oreal, Wild At Heart,
milk,
Comic Relief, ponies,
Posh, Becks, pecs,
Chitty Chitty *** ***,
and heavy petting.
Oh, I *** love that!
Anyway, Freddie doesn't
mind what I like.
If they knew where he was,
they'd tell me, right?
Let's ask.
I like to run.
I run like a dog.
Cute.
So what are you doing here?
Oh, Katie has a plan.
I'm supposed to teach her French
for her interview.
You know, Panda notices
that we are a little too friendly.
She's jealous,
and she wants me back
because she can't stand to see me
giving Katie French.
It's a good plan, yes?
Go for it.
- Panda?
- Yo.
You're looking happy.
Am I? That's weird.
I'm suicidal, obviously.
Because your boyfriend smashed
your heart into 1,000 pieces
seven months ago?
Yup.
He did that.
Tragic, ain't it?
Bummer.
Thomas is coming round
to Naomi's later
to give me French lessons
for my interview.
That's kind of him,
isn't it?
Yeah, kind.
Hmm, you like a bit
of cheese cake, innit?
Well, this is nice,
isn't it?
Yeah, it's nice.
I think it's nice.
I'm doing cocktails.
Who wants a Ball Breaker?
- Um
- I've got rum,
creme de menthe, ouzo
and rum.
- I'm fine.
- No, I'm all right, thanks.
Oh, come on!
What's wrong with everyone?!
It's nearly half eleven.
I'll have one.
I love that
creme de menth-ay stuff.
Makes you *** green, innit?
There you go.
Come on, you ***.
Ball Breakers.
They're cool.
If Effy's having one,
you can all ***
What did you call her?
Um I might have
made a slight
Her name's Arcia,
for *** sakes!
Why's everybody weirding her?
Yeah.
Your friends
are weirdal, Cook.
They don't half *** stare,
do 'ey?
Oh, man!
Um, I just remembered,
you gotta go.
What?
Something's come up.
I've gotta, um
But we was gonna
get piercings.
Yeah, yeah,
and we will soon.
- Soon
- What the ***?!
You said you was gonna be
right up my alley, wasn't it?
Yeah
Yeah, bye.
Screw you!
Did I do that?
Yeah, you kinda.
I'll go.
Cook
I'm losing it, man.
Cook, come and
talk to me.
I never clocked
that she looked like Eff, I swear.
Chrissakes,
stop being a ***.
Freddie.
Something's up.
Look, Karen, I've asked around.
There is no sign of Freds.
He's legged it,
that's all there is.
You owe him, Cook.
When you ran off last year,
who came looking for you?
That's only cos I took his girl
with me
You stupid ***!
- What is wrong with you all?
- ***.
You find him.
You *** find my brother.
Karen, I'm sorry.
- I miss him too.
- No, you don't.
Nobody loves him
like I do.
Not even
that crazy ***, Effy.
He's all I've got.
God knows
he's all you've got.
Read that and tell me
there is nothing wrong.
I'll give you a ***
every day for a year
if that's
all you care about.
You've got me wrong,
Karen.
Show me.
So do I, Freds.
So do I.
Come on.
Where's everybody going?
- Hey.
- Hey.
I'm going.
The atmosphere's
not great in there.
Naom's caning
the spliff again.
Yeah, and the rest.
Well, let's go get
some of that baby food.
Hi, Tommo.
Panda.
Katie, are you ready
for some French?
Yes, thanks, Thomas, I'd love some.
You remember I said
Yeah, I remember.
I'm pretty cool, huh?
Do you think she cares?
Oh, she cares.
What's going on in there?
Je ne sais rien, putain.
(***, I don't know anything)
- Huh?
- It's time for our lesson, Katie.
Where's everybody gone?
Hey, hey, hey, hey.
- What is it?
- It's Mandy.
Yeah, yeah.
You can dance.
Come on.
I gotta get going.
No.
No.
Everyone's so *** pissy.
Come on.
Emsy's got the gob on
and I wanna party.
That's all we have to do.
OK.
Why not?
There you go.
You hear that?
Why not.
Let's have
a bit more volume.
Better!
You dance pretty good
for a straight girl.
Yeah.
We
We had problems.
Me and Emsy.
Cos Cos I was
I was bad, and
That right, Ems?
See?
I'm forgiven.
It's just been heaven
these last months.
*** heaven.
I'm only saying
I'm only saying
because
Naomi
Eh?
If you don't want her
I do.
Combien de fois
allons-nous baiser?
Combien de fois
nous allons baiser?
It's future conditional.
Hang on, let me try again.
Combien de fois
nous allons baiser?
Awful.
You're actually terrible.
I know.
I'm terrible.
Let me try again.
Combien de fois
nous allons baiser.
Not even close!
Watch my lips,
listen to how I say it.
Combien de fois
allons-nous baiser.
Alright, I think I've got it.
Combien de fois nous allons baiser?
No, you're not listening.
One more time.
Combien de fois
allons-nous baiser.
Try this one
OK Tes mamelons
se leveront pour moi.
- What the ***'s "mamelons"?
- These.
You cheeky ***.
Honestly!
I'm sorry!
I'm so sorry.
No, no, no.
Oh, my God, I'm sorry.
No, it wasn't
I thought we were
No, that's not right.
I'm such a dozy ***!
I didn't realise.
What?
Don't make me say it,
Tommo.
You are beautiful, Katie,
in so many ways.
But I can't stop loving her.
Sorry.
Oh, ***!
I love you.
Don't lie.
My mum's coming back
next week.
Maybe you should go.
Cook!
What?
Freds?
Hey, Fredster.
Look where we ended up.
All back
at Naomi Campbell's.
Naomi
Naomi!
Bit loud.
Bit loud!
***!
What?
Cook! Cook!
What the ***?!
What's happening?
- Gotta go, Cookie, the fuzz.
- I'm on it.
Open the door!
Police!
Always looking good
in lingerie, Panda.
This is the police,
open the door!
This is the police,
open the door.
James Cook?
Open the door.
This is your last chance.
Right, OK, step back.
James Cook!
Police,
stay where you are!
You, stay there.
Where's James Cook?
Where is he?
Come on.
Yeah
You train pretty hard.
Yeah.
I run fast
like a dog.
Perry, I'm still ***
watching you, you know!
Shape.
Shape.
Move!
You just ran 400 metres
in 48.
2 seconds.
So?
So?!
That would put you in the European
Junior Championships, that's all.
I'm not from Europe.
I'm from Congo.
So what you
doing here, then?
Nothing.
I work.
I run.
So?
No college?
Why not?
And I mind
my own business.
Sure you do.
You could be in university,
a ***-load of universities.
You know, there are scholarships
for boys like you.
Boys like me?
Yes.
Boys that run fast.
Problem?
I can do many things.
I don't have to run for ***
to get what I want.
No? OK.
Perry, if you do not put
that *** out of your mouth,
I am going
to ram it up your ***.
Neither do I.
You can call me.
And fix your head.
We gotta take our chances,
young blood.
Otherwise,
what else we got?
Right, Perry, get down!
Squat thrusts!
Two, three.
You are going to puke your guts,
or I'm going to rip your balls out
and sell them to Nando's!
Come on!
You ***
everything up again?
Yeah.
It's his birthday today.
Yeah.
Do you think
he'd mind?
Freds probably got scared.
I'm pretty scary.
Yep.
But I can't not know
if he couldn't bear it.
I can handle it.
I think
I can handle it.
We'll go and find him.
All right?
My powers of deductive
reasoning are unparalleled.
They're actually hunting you
with dogs.
Impressive.
Anyway, we weren't sure
if the coast was clear.
What do you mean, "we"?
Yeah, and it's a bit chilly
hiding out there in the garden.
The sea eagles
are roosting.
Hello, Eff.
I've been trying
to tell you something.
Spit it out, Panda-pops.
I'm going away.
Really? Fine.
Where?
Harvard.
On a history scholarship.
I might have done some exams
without telling anyone.
Hello, Mum.
Yeah.
Looking forward
to seeing you, too.
Oh, no.
Nothing much.
Just the usual stuff.
Yeah, I accepted a place
at Goldsmiths, but
I know how proud
you are of me, Mum.
I love you, too.
It's all over.
I thought
What the ***
are you doing?
We're having a party.
Freds'd like it.
Don't you think?
Yeah.
Yeah, I guess he would.
So here!
I guess it's round here.
- Hi, Thomas.
- Hey!
I've never
been here before,
to Freddie's shed.
Yeah.
Same here.
First time
for everything, yeah?
Yeah.
Right.
Let's get this party started.
What the ***
kind of lame-o rave is this?!
I dressed up.
Yeah.
Well, pardon me for farting,
dinky ***.
You took long enough
getting here.
We're playing Ace of Truth.
And I can tell you we've learned
a few things tonight.
- Haven't we, Karen?
- You said it had to be shocking.
- Yeah.
- Please don't say it.
I'm still feeling queasy.
Who's going to start?
I will.
I've loved you
from the first time I saw you.
I think I was 12.
It took me three years to pluck up
the courage to speak to you,
and I was so scared of the way
I felt, you know,
loving a girl,
that I learned how
to become a sarcastic ***
just to make it
feel normal.
I screwed guys
to make it go away,
but it didn't work.
When we got together,
it scared the *** out of me,
because you were the one person
who could ruin my life.
I pushed you away and made you
think things were your fault,
but really I was just terrified
of pain.
I screwed that girl Sophia
to kind of spite you
for having a hold on me
and I'm a total *** coward,
because I got
these
these tickets to Goa for us
three months ago
but I
I couldn't stand
I didn't want to be a slave
to the way I feel about you.
Can you understand?
You were trying to punish me back,
and it's horrible.
It's so horrible
because
Really, I'd die for you.
I love you.
I love you so much
it's killing me.
Freds?
Who's that?
I'm going away, Panda.
Yes.
Even though I have no exams,
I have a chance to study.
They have a scholarship for athletes.
A friend is going to help me.
Right.
I was going to tell
It's a long way away.
The USA.
It's called Harvard.
I think I have a chance there.
I can make a new start.
And you know
I run like a dog.
That sounds cool, Tommo.
Wacker.
What?
Get out.
What have you done?
Don't be stupid, Cook.
She told me
all about you too.
There was much
to correct in that girl.
I almost managed it.
Perhaps I still can.
You
You did something
to my friend.
This is wasting time.
Would you kneel down,
please?
Mr Foster
Dr Foster, actually.
Kneel down, please.
I don't think you know
what I am, mate.
I think I do.
You're nothing.
You don't deserve that girl.
And, you know
I do.
I'm a ***
waste of space.
I'm just a stupid kid.
I got no sense.
Criminal.
I'm no *** use, man.
I am nothing.
So please
Please
Get it into your
you know
Into your bonks.
That you killed my friend.
I'm Cook.
I'm Cook!