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ND's off...
red light means it's on.
uh... ok this is James interview take one.
[claps] Aw damnit!
Okay, I'm not usually
on camera.
No, that's not a good way to start.
My name is James Jenson.
Like, a year ago I was hired by the League of Leagues
as a camera guy
and it was
really cool getting to meet all the
big wig epic Superheroes. Captain Ion, Continental Woman...
and Whatnot. Anyway, they put me on as
the documentarian for one of their lesser
subgroups, League: West, based in Los Angeles.
Getting to film alongside the adventures
of The Scone, who can harden
like stale bread and get super strong... and Pinkgirl-
>>PINKGIRL: What?
Oh, I was just, I was
just vlogging.
Sorry, telling people about your powers.
Oh, I get pink bolts...
only when I'm on the rag.
Other stuff.
Lovely.
Then, just as I was getting used
to the group...
being part of something...
it was over. The League was under review, it was deemed unnecessary and The Scone, Pinkgirl,
and I were unemployed. Anyway, I decided to
keep on filming because I feel
what I'm doing here is important.
Chronicling the lives of these Superheroes
in their most intimate and
important details can really show the world that-
>>THE SCONE: James?!
Yes?
>>THE SCONE: Have you seen?
Scone, I can't hear you.
Oh! You're in the middle of one of
your racy cam shows...
They're not racy!
Well, you're not going to make any money that way-
trust me.
Although when I do it, I manage to keep my
dignity.
What do you want, Scone?
I was wondering if you have seen...
If you've seen my red My Little Pony, aptly named because
she was MY little pony.
She had a long, luxurious mane,
and a little white heart printed on her spritely,
yet generous buttocks.
I have not seen that.
She responded to the name "Penelope".
Oh! Thank you.
>>JAMES: Tell us where we're going.
Well, ever since our ex-teammates and
ex-friends abandoned us,
we have been getting these
letters of Heroic Suspension
flown in by eagles.
If by eagles you mean BRICKS through our windows then, yes.
And tell us why we're
forty-seven minutes late.
We were on a mission. A very
important mission, a heroic mission. Capitalism...
A Toys'r'Us mission to get The Scone a new pony friend.
She's not the same! You think I can't break you
like i did the others? I am the pony whisperer!
You know, I'm just hoping that this meeting
with the Southern California League representative
gets us back on the street! Kicking some evil ***.
Sorry, citizens we can't save you!
And, sorry bad guys, can't put you back in your jail cells
and- [THUD]
You just hit somebody!
You have to stop, he's not moving...
So, everything that I just repeated...again
you understand this time?
>>THE SCONE: I don't understand
>>PINKGIRL: I'm not listening.
Okay, one more time.
You guys are still superheroes.
Lots of superheroes have earned their stripes through acts of vigilantism.
We can just only fiscally support your
heroic acts
a total of three times a month.
If you do more than what is alotted to you,
you will be fined.
That's why I'm giving you these cards.
Grab them. Come. Move fast.
They're also Pinkberry cards too.
Look, Dr. Antaeus, is it?
We don't need your dingleberry cards.
We have served for The League of Leagues for over a
year now. And we've triumphed over the forces
of evil on countless occasions.
Seven, to be exact.
From our defeat the villainess, Black Magma... >>THE SCONE: MY defeat of Black Magma.
To taking down the infamous Discharge.
>>THE SCONE: Who you murdered.
We have proven ourselves in courage, honor, and in sex appeal.
We are the poster children for this
generation's superhero.
And we demand to serve the public!
We demand justice!
We demand glory!
And we demand free t-shirts!
Hmm... I am not unmoved by what
you have to say.
I'm going to place a call in
and see what I can do.
Well, two out of three isn't bad.
Don't you think that free t-shirts
are glory and justice in itself?
[WOMAN SCREAMING]
Give me the bag! Give me the bag!
[WOMAN SCREAMS] Help!
>>THE SCONE: Oh, what day of the month is it?
>>PINKGIRL: Uh, it's just the 3rd.
Hey, hey get off of her!
Oh good! Someone's got it!
[GUN SHOT]
We don't know what else is gonna happen
this month.
Something far worse could happen.
It's best we let them work it out.
[GUN SHOT]
You would be surprised how many people will pay to see me ungulate in my battle unitard.