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Vampire pianist: You can't recall;
If the whiskey knocked you flat;
Or if everything was a blur, when you met her; All that you remember are the tunes of a vam-pire;
A melancholic tune; About impending doom;
I'll fetch your tankard; Fill it to the brim; A cask of stale Broken Drum ale;
Wondering how long till you meet it again on the bank of the
Ankh; Too much to drink; You could
barely even think; Too much Bearhugger-
Lewton: -I thought I told you never to play that song again.
Vampire: Ah, Sorry Mr. Lewton.
It's just I wasn't expecting you to call by tonight and-
Lewton: -You weren't expecting me?
It's only been eight years, Samael. Samael: I guess my memory ain't what it used to be.
Lewton *thinks*: I don't know why Samael put up with my temper.
He could have broken every bone in my body if he wanted to.
But that's what made him special, I guess.
That he'd take almost any kind of abuse from the clientele,
and he'd still be there at the piano,
playing better than anyone else in Ankh-Morpork.
The pianist, Samael, was one of Café Ankh's greatest assets. Not only was he a first-rate
musician, but there was something about him that made you think you think it would be a bad idea
to start any trouble.
I decided not to disturb Samael while he was working.
My old friend
Nobby from the Watch.
I hadn't spoken to him in ages.
Lewton: Hello, Nobby.
Nobby: Eh, hello Lewton.
Erm, how you been keepin'?
Lewton: I've been worse.
Of course I've been better, too. And I've been a hell of a lot better and
not much worse. Nobby: That's good,
isn't it?
Lewton: Don't worry. If Commander Vimes sees us together I'll tell him I made you talk to me.
Nobby: *Sigh* It's not that I don't like you, Lewton. I mean we was friends an' all.
But, it's just...well-
Lewton: -It's just he'd bite your head off if he saw you talking to me.
Nobby: He'd go spare.
Lewton: How you been keepin', Nobby?
How's the rest of the Watch?
Nobby: Not so bad, Lewton.
Been keepin' meself busy.
Been working with Sergeant Colon.
Lewton: How is ol' fatty Colon?
Nobby: Still fat. I'll tell him I saw you.
Lewton: No you won't. Nobby: Okay, so maybe I won't. I was just bein' trite.
Lewton: *Polite*.
Nobby: Er, yeah, that's the one.
Lewton: I guess I never really understood why it was that you didn't get kicked out as well, Nobby.
Nobby: Me? I ain't never done nothing wrong. Lewton: Don't give me that, Nobby.
When you were serving
as quartermaster under the Duke of Pseudopolis,
it was widely known that several items from the stores were found in your kit.
Nobby: That was all above board. I had all the paperwork for 'em.
Lewton: Your kit at that time consisted of two warehouses. I just think Vimes had a grudge
against me. Nobby: Lewton, I know you're my friend and all but...er, you took a bribe.
Lewton: Are you trying to tell me you never took a bribe?
Nobby: Never.
Lewton: The ham from Harga's House of Ribs?
Nobby: Evidence.
Lewton: The pocket clock from the suicide in the Shades?
Nobby: I wanted something to remember him by.
Lewton: The money in the petty cash box?
Nobby: Mislaid by someone.
Lewton: Misappropriated by you.
Nobby: I never misanthropated anything.
Lewton: I just want to understand why it was that you could get away with all your petty theft
and I couldn't get away with
one act of weakness. Nobby: Well, erm.
You see, erm.
Lewton: Just say it, Nobby.
I'm not going to hold it against you. Nobby: Well I reckon Mister Vimes
thinks that a bit of petty theft ain't something to get excited about.
I ain't admittin' anything, mark you. Nothing's ever been proved. Not compared to some of the
stuff that goes on in this city.
But someone who's taken a bribe?
Well, that's like allowing the rich to avoid justice.
Lewton: That wasn't why I did it. Nobby: I know,
but you know Vimes.
Lewton: Yeah, I know Vimes all right.
What's Vimes up to these days?
Nobby: He got married.
Lewton: Married?
He was only ever married to his job.
Nobby: Nah, straight up.
Married into nobility.
Lewton: Old Stone Face in the nobility,
that'd drive him crazy. Nobby: Well he's sorta nobility himself now.
Lewton: What? Nobby: They made him Commander of the Watch.
An' we got a great new premises down on Pseudopolis Yard.
They're full o' paintin's and vases an' all sorts.
Lewton: Full...?
Nobby: Well, maybe not as full as when we moved in but pretty full.
Lewton: I'll have to call around some time.
Nobby: Yeah, that'd be good.
We've got a lot more members in the Watch these days. And...
...we've got a new dartboard.
Lewton: Life in the fast lane, huh?
Do you seriously think it's a good idea for me to call around?
I mean, Vimes isn't gonna like it.
Nobby: Whatever you may think about him, he's loyal to his job.
I can't say he'll welcome you with open arms but he won't stop you.
Lewton: Do you know anything about a man named "Mundy"? Nobby: I'm not getting drawn into anything while I'm off-duty.
Wait till I'm back at the Yard.
Lewton: Have you heard of the Milka?
It arrived in town a short time ago. Nobby: How long ago?
Lewton: Three days.
Nobby: That's strange.
Lewton: Why? Nobby: Well there's been a string of odd murders in the last three days.
Lewton: What do you mean, "odd"?
I mean, this is Ankh-Morpork we're talking about. Nobby: I'm not sure I should discuss the details
with a pavilion.
Lewton: A "civilian", Nobby.
How much have you had to drink?
Nobby: I'm as sober as the day I was born!
Lewton: Ah, that's a frightenin' thought.
Lewton *thinks*: Since that was who I'd learnt about that from in the first place, I didn't feel I had
much to gain by going over old ground.
Lewton: What do you know about a woman named "Carlotta"? Nobby: I'm not getting drawn into anything while I'm
off-duty.
Wait till I'm back at the Yard.
Lewton: Do you know anything about some passengers that came into town by ship a few days ago?
Nobby: That's not much to go on.
Lewton: You're a Corporal in the Watch.
You're supposed to have a keen, insightful mind.
Nobby: They brought that regulation in after I joined.
Lewton *thinks*: Tempting as it was, I decided not to start attacking people with the crowbar.
Lewton: I'll catch you later, Nobby. Don't do anything I wouldn't do.
Nobby: What's that supposed to mean?
Lewton: Well, don't get *caught* doing anything I wouldn't do.
Lewton *thinks*: The Captain of the Milka,
Captain Jenkins,
didn't seem to be a very happy man.