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(bright music)
Lazar: If you hit the rim, it's easier for me
'cause I'll get the rebound and you'll still look good.
Nicole: What's the rim?
(upbeat music)
I have a husband, I have a son, I have a dog,
and I need to know about basketball.
(pop music)
Lazar: Hey.
Nicole: 'Sup baller? Pun intended.
Lazar: You know it. How you doin'?
Nicole: How are you?
Lazar: Okay, so I do have a ball.
You want to play?
Nicole: Yeah, I want to play/understand.
I have to watch a lot of basketball.
Lazar: As long as you have the focus,
you have that determination, then I think
you're at least 25% of the way.
Nicole: You made me feel so good about myself.
Lazar: Really? Let's do it.
Nicole: Okay, let's go.
Lazar: What do you know about basketball?
Nicole: I know that you point it to that corner,
and then it bounces in the thing.
Lazar: No, no, no, no. What corner?
Nicole: The corner of that square.
Lazar: The white strip right there?
Nicole: Yeah.
Lazar: No. Do what you said and see how it goes.
Nicole: Okay.
(ball bounces)
Lazar: That was actually pretty good.
Nicole: Which is like you do.
(ball bouncing)
Lazar: That's what I do.
(hip-hop music)
Lazar: Let's get your shot first.
Nicole: Okay.
Lazar: Okay, the best I can teach you
is to have both your hands like this, straight up
Nicole: To an "L".
Lazar: Flick the wrist, and don't take your eye off.
Let me get out of your way.
Nicole: One, two, three. (ball bouncing)
I'm so good. (slap)
Lazar: What'd I tell you?
Nicole: Now, how do people shoot from like ...
Lazar: Back here?
Nicole: All the way over there?
Lazar: See now, you gotta use your ***.
Hit the rim so I can get the rebound at least.
Lazar: (short exhale) See, if you keep your hand up
Nicole: I made that possible for you.
Lazar: You did. Do you know what a crossover is?
It's good, it's like dancing. This is your balance foot.
Right foot up.
That's your step. This is how you get comfortable.
Remember I said it's like dancing?
Nicole: Yes.
Lazar: Boom.
Nicole: Boom. That's so Broadway.
Lazar: It is. There's a lot of finesse in this game.
Nicole: Give it to me, [Lyza].
Lazar: Let's put it all together.
Nicole: Boom, boom.
Lazar: Bump, cross, and then just go to the rim
and do what you want.
See?
(hip-hop music)
Uh-uh, too close.
Nicole: You cant' slap it away.
Lazar: Why not?
Nicole: Because that's just rude.
Lazar: We need to teach you how to talk (bleep).
I'm gonna show you right here.
Give me that (bleep)!
You do it to me. (bounce, bounce)
Nicole: GIVE ME THAT (bleep)!
Lazar: (laughing) But we gotta make it more natural.
Nicole: GIVE ME THAT (bleep)!
Lazar: No, no you can't do ...
You can't have all these gestures.
Nicole: Oh, there's no arms.
GIVE ME THAT (bleep)!
Lazar: And then you run back.
Boom! See now, the nex time you get the ball.
Nicole: So aggressive.
Lazar: I'm gonna say, "Oh, she screamed
in my face and said, 'Give me that (bleep).'"
Nicole: Do all NBA players cheat on their wives?
Lazar: No, they all don't cheat, but that little stigma
about women hanging around, yeah, that's true.
Have you seen Girls Gone Wild? That happens.
Nicole: Okay, so it's like that with basketballs.
*** and basketballs?
Lazar: They kind of go hand in hand.
Nicole: Then you can pick what you want to dribble.
Lazar: (laughing)
Nicole: Dribble is so gross, by the way.
Can we change that word?
Are the cheerleaders distracting?
Lazar: For me, no. For most of my team mates,
yes, very much so.
Nicole: Do you have sex before a game?
Lazar: Yes, I have.
Nicole: Would you rather be tall or fast?
Lazar: Tall.
Nicole: Is it true what they say about big feet?
All right, do the games feel as long to you as they do to me?
Lazar: I think if you're sitting on the bench, yes. Probably longer.
Nicole: You taught me the boom, boom, boom,
so why don't I create a dirty dancing move?
Keep the females interested. They love that movie.
Pretend that we're in a lake and it's very cold,
and I'm in white jeans, you lift me up
and then I'll just soar the ball.
Lazar: Right through?
Nicole: Yeah, like that is on the other side of the lake,
and our dance recital is in three weeks.
(inspirational jazz) Okay, ready? Boom, boom, boom.
Lazaar: I gotta make it sexy. Gotta make it sexy.
(inspirational jazz)
(ball bouncing)
Nicole: I am well over a foot shorter than Lazar,
yet I made around the same amount of
whatever you call them, scores or balls.
Could I fake a dunk picture?
Lazar: Yes.
Nicole: Could I hang from there and just scream?
Lazar: Ready?
Nicole: Yes, ready?
(cheering crowd)
(bright music)