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Trying to learn more about, uhh, women.
That seems to be a popular thing these days.
Yeah, I dunno.
I know a few things.
I know your hair is very important to you, ladies.
And I learned this because I lived with a girl who got a bad haircut
and then she came home and cried adult tears.
I was like, "Are you crying because you don't like your haircut?"
She's like, "Shut up! You don't understand!"
And I said, "You are correct."
I have no idea why this is upsetting you.
I've hated every haircut I've ever had, as a guy.
We don't like haircuts. Most of the time, we'll wear a hat to get our hair cut.
And when the haircut's done, we'll put the hat back on.
With girls, it's a whole big deal, right?
You gotta plan it in advance.
You go to the salon. The salon is like a doctor.
You need an appointment.
You can't just walk into a salon.
"I was thinking of getting a haircut today."
"Hahaha, NO.
Go home and call us. We'll decide."
I don't know much about the salon. The one thing I do know
is that the first thing that you do when you get there,
is they're gonna wash your hair.
Why? 'Cause you're gross.
You're a gross person, coming in off the street. How dare you.
You could have a shower and go right to a salon, and be like,
"I just washed it."
"We don't like the way you do it."
"Follow me over here. We have a sink
that's designed for no one's spine ever."