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my name's Clare Redgrove,
I'm 50 I was living in Tenderton,
I had my business so I was travelling quite a lot
and
life all stopped when I was diagnosed with cancer.
a lot of worries come with cancer
you know the financial worries when you're having chemo you haven't got the
energy to even sit at a desk to work and also you can't travel
so part of my business was traveling and I can't do that so
no work no money because of being self employed. You don't get much money
you can't go out, you can't go meet your friends. I did feel alone
a lot of the time. Sometimes you're too tired to cook, and I'm diabetic so I can't have
ready made stuff because a lot of it has got sugar in
so half the time I just haven't got the energy to cook,
so I ended up eating a piece of toast or something. Or sometimes I don't.
I don't eat. Sometimes,
yeah I'm here a couple days and I don't see anyone
and that's quite tough
and sometimes, especially with the treatments,
some of the side effects and steroids is staying awake
you can't sleep, and if you're waking up at night the first thing you
think about is cancer and a couple of times you think god, is this going to
kill me. A couple of times I've thought that
There's a group called GOSH so everybody there has had a gynae
cancer so we can relate to each other
and it's run by three clinical nurse specialist and they're all Macmillan
They're always there for you, and they understand.
They don't start sympathising you but they understand.
My sisters very good, she supports me and she has done all along
but unfortunately people, even my family, they won't understand how I'm feeling
because they haven't had it. Anyone who hasn't had it
doesn't know. From the time you are diagnosed, to
you know, going into remission, you're always going to need that support
without that I think you'll go mad