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So Anita,as we aged,we are seeing more and more people passing away.
like our parents generation,
even our generation. So...
what do you,
as a veteran, what do you have to say
to someone who has just lost a loved one?
I would say that, you know
we feel that, of course we feel the lost when we loss someone
I would want to assure everybody that
when you loved someone passes away. They
are going somewhere so much
better, I mean they are being relief from their pain and the struggles that
they are facing
here being safe for going through the dying process.
They're not going anywhere.
I would want people to know that they can still communicate with their loved
ones
and so sometimes,when we loss somebody, when somebody dies,
we feel really guilty because we didn't have that
closure with them. We didn't have the final conversation.
I would want people to know that you can have that conversation, anytime...
anytime. They can hear you. They can hear us.
I speak to my father all the time. I speak to my best friend all the time and I feel
their guidance when I speak to them.
And you can't when you look for the signals on the guidance you will
actually feel it and see it to you can speak to them anytime.
The other thing is that, a lot of people
feel they believe they have to do certain things
to send them off in a
good way, you know like they have to do certain ceremonies and things like
that.
I want people to know that when you do those things,
it's not for them ,they are fine once they passed.
They are completely fine and more than fine, they've gone to really an amazing
place.
On this realm, what you do, you are doing it for yourselves,
for the loved ones so the loved ones need to do whatever they have to do
for their own healing, for their own greeting.
According to that culture or you know so as
to get whatever the family members need in terms of rituals and all.
But you don't have to worry about getting stressed out and being confused
about what ceremony, what style,
Yea.It's not going to affect your deceased loved one,
it's absolutely not going to affect them. The only thing
that can affect them is you
emotionally, if you are holding on to them, if you are worried
because they want you to be happy so all you have to do no matter
what ceremony you do, whatever it is even my mother went through this same
confusion.
When my father died, people were telling her to do that 12-days
Hindo ceremony. Some was saying , "no the 4-days one is fine". Our
priest was telling her something different.So she was really confused
because they would say, "oh,
the spirit won't pass to the right round
correctly." But now I realized that none of it is true.
The only thing they want is for you to be happy,
so the only thing that you need to do
is inwardly communicate with them and just tell them
that I love you and I set you free.
Even if you have a loved one who is in a coma, they can tell what you're saying
they can hear everything that you're thinking.
Everything that you are thinking and even things that you are saying.
So if they are in a coma, instead of
like holding on to them, just let them do
what they need to do.Say I set you free, of course if you come back I will be
overjoyed
but I need you to do whatever is right for you. You know hearing you say that,
of course this is not the first time I heard you say,
when you said that to me it was really
reassuring for me because my
father also was in a coma for almost 2 days,
but I didn't get to say goodbye to him.
But yea...So now I believe,
because I have experienced that connection with him,
it doesn't really matter .It doesn't end.
I think I shared with you before,
a few months after he passed on,
I was Hm...
I had a argument with my family members who were
who wanted to put his ashes in a...you know...
in a proper way...in somewhere.
And I said, no let's respect his wishes. He
wanted the his ashes to be scatted,
in the sea and I said," let him be free."
So I went to sleep with that thought,
and I dreamt of him.
So that was the first time that I dreamt of him.
and he was very happy he was perfect in his best self.
And we hugged and we had an eye contact and then
I heard him it was like I sensed, he said
"I'm here."
So what I got is, when I got up I realised
is not worth us arguing.
If my family members feel it's
better to put his ashes in a certain place and
let them do it. It doesn't matter and
the strangest thing which is
very amazing is...
I opened the first email that I got on that day...
that was kinda junk mail and I don't know why I opened it.
And it opened into a poem, and is poem of ...
I think is like a traditional Irish poem.
The gist of it is...
don't cry for me
in front of my grave. I'm not here, I did not die.
Wow. That's powerful.
So it basically said, I was out with the wind,
and the string and the tree and ...
Wow ... I was following my eyes down... So I was like
Wow.. Do I need more prove?
It's quite incredible you know, it really is...
yeah...So I have this theory...
that the more in my life that have died,
the more angels that I saw...
In a way, it sounds horrible, but
there's a benefit to any
any disaster. There's a positive to any negative.
There is always a positive and they never leave you.
And that's the thing, they never leave you. Your father is still looking after you.
I feel he is here all the time. You know, I feel closer to my father
than when he was alive
because of my culture and that was just too much
gap that we just didn't get each other.
Same with me. But now, I feel he loves me unconditionally.
Now I feel I am not judge by anyone. Now I feel I don't need to
convince him. Yea...It's just there.
And it's funny because where they crossover,
they don't have those cultural filters,
and gender filters...
You know... they don't have a race...It's all gone
their gender. Everything is gone. All I feel is just
unconditional love. Now I can feel him, I can feel all my friends who have passed
passed on...I feel that I have more...
guidance...I have more wisdom
because of them. But after all, if we really step back,
we are not who we think we are. We are ...
just playing out a role. We are all just ...
like a droplet, in an ocean...
of consciousness. Yea...
if you can say my father's still here, you can also say...
he's not here because he's returned to the
to the ocean and he can be in different places.
At the same time... He's in the same place at the same
time.
Oh, one thing I wanted to ask you is about
is during your NDE, you mentioned that
you didn't see any image of
God or duality,
but after your NDE, you have researched on
all other people's experiences and what is
interesting is that people see images based on
their belief system. Yea... That's what a lot of people say...
many of the NDE searches like rain and moody...
and so on they say that people see images based on what...
their believe systems and their culture.
Yes.... So there's no...
no need to be too focus on
whether my believe system is better than yours or if you don't
believe this,
you won't go to heaven. Yea...none of this is true...what I experienced,
what I actually experienced in the other realm,
is that not only did I not have
a physical body like when we leave this earth.
We leave behind our physical body when I was there, when I was in the coma,
that person that I was outside with my body,
what I experienced with energy. It feels like I was pure consciousness, so I was
I have nobody. I have no
gender...I had no race,
I have no culture, no religion,
no ego, no layers of filters...
of conditioning. All of that got left behind,
all of that was with my body, which was lying there on the hospital bed
but there I was just pure consciousness.
And my father, that all he was...
was pure consciousness even he no longer had gender or culture or
ego or conditions or layers or filters or anything...
And so is like we just merged, it's just...
completely understood each other. You know like when we use to communicate
in physical Iife. We still always end up
arguing . In that realm,
there was no communication was not with words,
is beyond words.
I knew that underneath all those layers,
all he felt for me was unconditional love.
I felt for him was unconditional love.
So the inside of that is not to suggest that, let me put it that way...It's not to suggest that ...
we wish our living parents will be dead, so that they will complete except us...
(laugh)
But inside I can get, is that when
someone, whether is parents or partner...
or whoever and us...
get into an argument or conflict, we understand that
this is not who they are. Yeah. This is what they do.
Exactly. In fact I often tell people
that the more that we communicate, talk, we are in fight.
No further away we go, from what we're trying to
achieve. So... just get silence,
completely both parties be quiet just be completely quiet
and just look into each others eyes.
And that hug, hold, hug and
look into each others eyes. That's a very good advise.
And I beg you stop crying, you know when is someone you love.
You know like a parent-child, you know...not necessary a child, you know...Hm...
or teenagers...
So like a mother-daughter, father-daughter, father-son, whatever...
or two partners. When you do that with each other, just look into each
others eyes
and the only thing to look for is the love
in the other person and don't say a word.
Because when we say words,
you know we use words to disguise what we really feeling.
we use words to cover our shame, to
because we want to cover ourselves up and
we feel...we use words to manipulate, to overcompensate
our insecurities. But when it's silence,
you can't lie. Yea. You come back to the present. You come back to the present
and silence doesn't lie. And the silence you just feel,
just feel what the other person is feeling and they feel what you are
feeling.
It's always a good reminder to just come home.
It's like coming home to yourself... to ourselves...
And I remembered the first time I had that feeling of coming home,
was many years ago when I was so still working in fashion,
and that was about ...
15 years ago, must have been.
It was... it was at my yoga class,
I remembered, whenever I have
I practiced at home,when I just...you know
bowled forward and just let myself just
be completely relaxed. It felt so good.
Yeah. So I always remember that coming...
going home or coming home base, which I imagined would be like
dying. It is actually. Would that
verified that for me? Yea. Definitely because for me
dying felt like coming home. It really did.
The first time in my life raft out, I was somewhere where I belong.
I completely and totally felt like
I belong that I have come home.