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- I think I'm going to ask Cynthia out.
- Dude you totally should. I'll be your wing man.
- I'll be your albatross man.
- What?
- You know how a wing man only talks about your best
traits to make you seem like you're not vain?
- Sure.
- I'm going to be the albatross around your neck
that only talks about your worst features
and most embarrassing moments.
- No, why would I want that?
- You'll get a nice fair balanced view of yourself.
- I don't think that's a good idea.
- Hey guys, what are you doing?
(loud crash)
- Hey, hey.
- Hi.
- Hi, Cynthia, I'm glad you're here.
We're trying to make Zack feel better.
You know, he just went through a break-up.
- Oh, I'm so sorry.
- Yeah, it's really sad. Like Zack's a good guy
but I guess he's just bad at relationships.
- (laughs) I wouldn't say that.
- I would. I mean, he strung that poor girl
along for three years. That's ***.
- Wow, three years. What a commitment!
- Yeah, a commitment to a total lie.
- He was really concerned about her feelings.
- Mmmmm, but I think he was also concerned about his own.
Like, he knew that relationship was doomed,
but he's a coward.
- I see.
- (laughs) Trapp's kidding. These two, always joking around.
- Yes, thank you Grant.
- That's true. Zack does love a good joke.
Like this one time in college--
- You don't actually have to tell that story.
- Wow, so modest!
- I think it's a funny story, I think she'd like to hear it.
So Zack peed in all the radiators in the dorm
and the whole building smelled like *** for a month.
- Eww, is that true?
- I immediately regretted it.
- You know, I admire that. Here's a guy who can
really learn from his mistakes.
- Yeah, although he had to have been a little proud of it
because he told me that story just last week.
- Well he's very honest.
- But clearly has terrible judgment.
- I was young and it was like a lot of
peer pressure was the thing.
- And that is classic Zack. Total doormat. No spine.
- Or you could say he's a people pleaser,
and he's always trying to make everyone happy.
- No matter the consequences. Just following orders.
- Not a Nazi.
- You know I'm going to-- I'm going to go back to work now.
- Hey, but what if we got a drink?
- Hey that sounds nice.
- Oh yeah, that would be perfect. Zack loves getting drinks.
It's like he's getting drinks all the time.
- He's a fun-loving guy.
- Yeah, sometimes he has a tall glass of fun for breakfast,
you know? It's like he can't stop himself.
- Okay. Bye.
- Wait, wait.
(hopeful music playing)
Um, I know--
- Classic Zack. No respect for your wishes to leave.
- Or you could say that he's passionate.
(door creaking)
- Why?
- Maybe he's just committed to honesty.
- Or maybe I'm just an ***.
(frenzied music playing)
- Hi, it's Mike Trapp from CollegeHumor.
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