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Welcome to the show, The Show!
Look, before we start today I want to say one thing.
To be completely frank, Iím tired of the back and forth,
one day yes and the next itís no, changing on a daily basis.
I want the great minds of the country to get together and tell us once and for all,
to answer a very simple question!
Are we going to dress for winter or summer?
Itís unbelievable!
And since we have had some snow everyone is all
ìOh my god look at all the snow!î as if weíre in Europe.
Whatís the big deal about Europe anyways?
Our country is so much better than Europe,
what do they have there that we donít have here?
You go out to Europe and see that even their garbage is neatly placed in the bins,
it looks so nice you would even pay money for it.
To be honest Tamer, this is the only thing I have to leave the country to get,
all my garbage is brand name!
I frequent all of Europeís dumps!
Seriously though, Tamer made me feel sad for my country,
why isnít our garbage neat like in Europe?
Itís because those in charge are coming up short in that department,
and in general, all those in public office are ignoring all our needs in almost all departments.
Do we have the governor on the line?
Weíve been trying to call him but his phone has been off since 7:30.
All of this?
Sir, if you can please answer your phone, please do so.
Did your phone disconnect?
The minister of health isnít answering.
No network available?
And the official spokesman isnít answering.
For the last ten days? Youíre not answering your phone?
Anyone from the ministry of education, please pick up!
Anyone from the ministry of education?
I donít understand why all the phones are suddenly switched off when we need them.
Forget it, Ashour donít call anyone, I donít want anyone,
I donít want anyone, weíll see.
Now Armouty is upset guys come on!
Iím sorry Mr. Armouty I know how annoying it is when youíre trying to call someone and they ignore you,
but stay persistent and keep calling them on their phones,
donít lose hope, please, donít lose hopeÖ
I canít talk right now Armouty, very bad timing!
What were we saying?
Right, the officials,
to be fair the anchors are at fault,
they keep choosing the busy ones to want to speak to,
they should try calling the ones that have a lot of time!
IÖ I donít believe it.
I swear to godÖ Thank you, thank you generous god!
We have on the phone President Adly Mansour.
We have on the line, Mr. Adly Mansour.
Thank you very much, Mr. Adly Mansour.
You are so generous god! Thank you dear god!
Of course you have every right not to believe it!
This is the first president to call a TV show, do you knowÖ
do you know what it means that the President called Amr Adib?
It means the presidential office is now subscribed to Orbit!
Or maybe they have an illegal link somehowÖ
Seriously though,
President Adly Mansour is a fantastic man,
and may god give him power to see through this temporary phase,
heís not given nearly enough media attention.
Let me tell you a little bit about Adly Mansour.
This manÖ
ìWe apologize for the intentional signal scramblingîÖ
But at the same timeÖ
fifteen pounds!...
My sisterís husbandÖ
and then heÖ
and then the second and the thirdÖ
a box of yogurt, and thatís what people donít know about President Adly Mansour.
For those who want to continue the storyÖ Yes youíll get free tickets donít worry!
Anyways, President Adly Mansour, this man was about to have a date with fate.
Letís take a look at him from the perspective of fate,
his name is Adly (Just) Mansour (Victorious),
the first part of his name is justice and the last part is victory,
which means that justice will be victorious.
Was the ceiling about to collapse in your studio?
Good evening Madame AmaniÖ
Of course youíre expecting that we will also look at you with fate in mind
and say that Amani (wishes) are our dreams and Khayyat (stitched/screwed) is likeÖ
never mindÖ
but thatís not what Iím going to do,
Iím really notÖ No!
Iím really not going to do that!
Next video Khalifa, next video.
You are the President!
You donít work, why are you setting loose on us people that should be working with you?
The people should be working with you, and not with us,
absolutely ever!
How the hell do you change your mind this quickly!
I can no longer understand you, absolutely ever!
Isnít this the same nice Adly Mansour that you all love and adore?
Why are you being like this now?
What happened that made you turn on him? What did he do?
Mr. President, you have fallen in the trap of your consultants.
Mr. President, you donít need a scientific consultant.
Mrs. Broadcaster, you fell into a beehive on the way to the studio.
Mrs. Broadcaster, you need a burble scarf to break all this yellow!
So you turned against him, not because of something he did,
but more because of his consultants, namely the scientific consultant?
Dr. Essam Heggy, who came from NASA, and didnít like the invention,
do you guys remember the invention?
ìIt has been 14 days since the announcement of the invention.î
Let me tell you a story.
Once upon a time, in a time before today, around two weeks ago maybeÖ
there lived a doctor, a surgeon,
who invented a machine that turns anything into sausages,
just like a butcher! Everyone whistled and cheered, all except for the Sultanís consultant,
who spoke but no one listened.
They told him ìwhat do you know?î
even though he was just in NASA, not just full of hot air.
All of a sudden, they all cornered him, and they tore him apart on all TV channels,
from the most respectable, all the way down to Tawfik Okasha.
Who is this Essam Heggy, who hails from France?
You canít imagine what happens in France.
Just like this American guyÖ Essam HeggyÖ
Whatís his specialization? Discovering planets and mooooooons.
Has NASA become the invalid society or something?
This Essam Heggy, his main problem is that when he was younger he applied for service
and the army rejected him on grounds of him being mentally and psychologically unfit.
Sorry to use slang,
but he has hung the countryís dirty laundry out to dry, as they say in the streets.
Youíre the Presidentís consultant, whatís your main goal?
To write for the President, not create a ruckus, and make a scene!
And what are you main goals?
To become broadcasters, not drive us to the verge of madness!
But youíre also mistaken Dr. Essam,
we have never heard of a scientific consultant,
giving a scientific consultation regarding a scientific matter before!
If you have a problem try to hide it!
If you see a bit of dust, hide it under the carpet!
They say the invention cures, just go along with it!
And whatís more, what has Lieutenant Abdel Aty done when he invented this machine?
What big crime did he commit? Whatís the big deal?
He didnít commit a criiiimyyyy,
he didnít commit a crimy and I will tell you how!
Doctors are calling me from Italy and France and asking how we managed to achieve this,
where were you from us
and where were we from you?
Dr. Ibrahim is a big philosopher by the way.
The idea behind the machine came to him from Surah The Cave from the Quraan.
Those who built the pyramids can do so much more than that.
Thatís right.
We can make anything just like we did with the pyramid,
and whatís a pyramid in comparison with this invention?
The pyramid was built on a Thursday after the movies,
and we didnít just do it once, we did it three timesÖ
Every Thursday we do oneÖ
And every time it was better than the one beforeÖ
I mean pyramids of courseÖ
So those who built the pyramids can make anything happen,
even though our football team who built the pyramids canít qualify to the world cup a single time.
Anyways, itís nothing to be ashamed of to review your actions,
and we admit we have been unfair with this good man,
heís a good modest man, and he chooses language thatís close to peopleís hearts,
using sausages as an example, is that so wrong?
He didnít commit a crimy! Itís not a crimy!
Isnít he better than Essam Heggy who is so pompous?
Lieutenant Abdel Aty, in all his quotes to the press, clearly shows how much of a beautiful character he is.
He is the epitome of modesty.
You are saying ìI am the pyramid amidst the roaches.î
Sir who are you referring to as the roaches, and who made you the pyramid?
Who ever told you that youíre a pyramid and that we or anyone else are roaches?
Hold on Armouty, I will explain everything to you.
Any person listening to this quote will think that Lieutenant Abdel Aty is narcissistic,
but thatís not the case.
Or that he is vain, thatís not true!
He was just overwhelmed with the lyrics of a song that he used to listen to as a child.
Itís not a crimy!
I am the pyramid.
And weíre the roaches.
I am the pyramid.
And weíre the roaches.
What do you eat?
Sausage and watercress.
Clap for him, clap for him.
Cheer him on all day!
Sing to the pyramid and tell himÖ
Tell me what?
Youíre going to be found out,
so be careful,
may god keep you for the virus!
May god keep him for the virus indeed!
This is why we need to stop misquoting people and being unfair!
Isnít it possible that heís just proud of his ancient Egyptian heritage?
This is the least we can expect from the grandson of the pharaohs!
This is truly a heritage to be proud of.
I am Ibrahim Abdel Aty,
the brother of Dr. Sayed Abdel Aty,
from a very conservative family,
from the lineage of the Prophet, peace be upon him.
The Prophet?
See Essam?
Go ahead and be an infidel if you want, all this from this science you follow.
Turns out youíre not only doubting an invention, youíre doubting a legend.
Heís a lieutenant, so he hails from the army, and from the lineage of the Prophet,
so you will be labeled an infidel,
and heís a pyramid so the tourism workers will hate you too.
And you might even squash all the roaches after all this!
And all of this for what? Science? To hell with science!
Manners are held in a higher regard than science,
without manners and modesty, science isnít worth anythingÖ
I, with thanks to god, itís me, me and who am I and who else but me?
ìI love the soldier, I love the soldier.î
Sorry guys, this wonít take long, we just have a few roaches around here.
To hell with modesty Essam, what have we created?
The man has a right to be full of himself,
an apple fell on Newtonís head and it resulted in groundbreaking discoveries,
this man here turned tar into kebabs!
Isnít he allowed to boast? Of course it is, and we should also be proud of him,
and be proud of the proud ones,
and pride is to proud as proud is to pride,
leave him be.
I swear to god Mr. Mostafa, one hundred percent,
I am proud of my AIDS patients, and I have told them,
I swear to god, that one day,
the AIDS patient will boast that he once had AIDS.
Not only will the AIDS patient be proud that he had AIDS,
AIDS itself will boast that itís AIDS,
and he will tell everyone how he was a little piece of sh*t virus that no one saw,
and Lieutenant Abdel Aty raised me on the grill,
and he gave me a nickname; AIDS Grill.
True story!
And now I have grown up to become a delicious sausage that everyone wants a piece of.
See Essam? See?
Everyone will be proud of AIDS,
and we should also all be proud, and celebrate.
Who is calm at heart?
He who has the machine!
And can make sausages and kebabs?
And cure the people!
This virus is a son of a dog.
But the virus is gone!
Itís gone itís gone itís goneÖ
Gone, gone, goneÖ
And those who saw us were envy of us.
Why do you envy us? Weíre also sitting on it!
Theyíre sitting on the invention! On the machine!
They sit on it to get cured, Iím sorry.
Sit on the invention.
Okay I donít really know who to believe, itís all up in the air,
whether it cures or not,
but what I know is that when someone comes up with a new medicine or an invention,
there have to be accompanying certificates and tests run by a neutral and knowledgeable party,
not just any passerby.
I myself asked Marshal Seesi,
asked him about the machine and he told me,
ìI swear to god, that when I saw this machine, with my eyeís opinion, my eyes overflowed with tears.î
To hell with certificates!
We can just give the machine the ISO, itís done.
Not one more word about the machine Essam!
But, Mr. Mostafa, did the Marshal really tell you this story himself?
Just face to face between you and him? Are you sure Sasa?
Did he tell you, or did someone actually tell you that story?
And at this point the Marshal stood upright and beat his fist down.
The man who was telling me was General Taher Abdullah,
he told me when he was telling him about the machine,
you canít imagine the happiness on his face,
he was so happy I felt he must be close to tears.
So it was someone who told youÖ
See Mostafa, a couple of more videos
and you would have admitted that the machine was the one on the verge of tears.
ìThe night the machine cried.î
Okay then, we here at The Show retract every word we have said about the invention,
but itís really much bigger than the invention,
itís about anyone who was educated outside Egypt,
who is well-read, who speaks several languages,
thatís the real danger to this country.
Remember the consultants and scientists we were so happy with,
when they said things that we like.
Those people are the real danger
The most dangerous conspiracy being cooked up for Egypt now,
being led by Mostafa Hegazy.
And this Mostafa Hegazy was one of the most important elements of the fourth generation of wars.
This great knowledge of English you have might actually turn out to be a curse on you.
Is Mostafa Hegazy a Baradi-esque?
Yes of course.
Who are these people?
Who are you talking about?
Mr. Moslemani.
One of the pillars of spreading moral chaos through his work with Zuweil.
Anyone who gets an award,
whether itís a music award, or a Nobel,
this is accomplishing the goals of the foreigners, not the goals of my country.
Whatís next? Is there nothing from the west that warms the heart?
Good riddance! Good riddance!
To hell with Nobel and English and science and all that crap.
So a guy travels abroad and gets educated and gets certified and honored
and then after all these celebrations, he wants to come back and benefit our country?
The nerve, the nerve!
Look, the people who travel abroad and get educated
and then get awarded the Nobel prize are the ones who are the danger to this country,
letís stick with our local scientific icons, letís see you complain now!
And a quick word to our youth, stay ignorant, youíll live in bliss.
See you after the break.
Welcome back once again to the show, The Show!
Last week we had some very strong reactions
to the decision to appoint Mr. Ibrahim Mehleb as PM. People said heís energetic,
aware and focused, and he wonít forget anything, and will not lose anythingÖ
What did Mehleb say to Masry Al Youm newspaper?
He said that the maneuvers revealed that the country has lost its love.
The love is lost? I can not accept this! Some governments have lost budgets,
or even the countryís standing and we have moved past it,
but the love? This is a crimy!
ìF*ck the love is gone, f*ck it was a thong.î
Itís all weíve got!
The ministers in this government should be locked down and searched,
every one should open up his or her ministerial briefcase,
and they should all get searched!
Except for one of courseÖ
Iím dead seriousÖ
Of course Mehleb was talking about how he had no good candidates for the government
because no one loves the country anymore, except for oneÖ
Heís all the loveÖ
They refused because accepting a position at a time like this is a suicide mission,
Mehleb needs to make difficult decisions,
pivotal decisions that take a truly courageous man to take.
The ban of bottled water inside the PM headquarters.
This move is motivated by cost awareness
and wanting to share the common people their simple lifestyle.
Youíre very strict with your peopleÖ
Are you really going to drink out of the tap?
ìThey will drink water with chlor(ine), this is so hardcore!î
So next instead of meetings theyíll have low class parties,
rickshaws instead of police escorts,
please donít forget to also cut your electricity and make your decisions in the darkÖ
Are you kidding with this sharing people their lifestyle?
Before there can be a lifestyle, there has to be a life to begin with.
Generally though, this is a good start,
and we should encourage them so we can return that love we lost,
because itís love thatís brought us together,
and the world will hear us,
and tonight is the first of our celebrations,
this is the path of our legends,
and here are our sun-kissed sons and daughters.
Today Ethiopia claims that it has completed 32% of the dam project.
ìHallelujah, hallelujah!î
32% of the damÖ finished?
ìHallelujah, hallelujah!î
And all this and the dam is still being built.
And weíll say it again!
Into the dam we slammed,
Ethiopia will slam us again and tonight we take it in theÖ
Ethiopiaaaaa!
They finished a third of the dam and weíre sitting here talking about bottled water?
ìTomorrow we will score, the water with chloreî
But donít worry, donít panic,
donít panic, donít panic.
After the Muslim Brotherhood left power,
we have been dealing with this damn issue in a much better way.
This 32% was built when the MB were in power, but now they wonít build another centimeter,
bring it on Ethiopians!
No real men in the horn of Africa!
Weíre of the opinion that the renaissance dam in Ethiopia
may be a source of benefits and advantages for not only Ethiopia
but for all the surrounding countries as well.
Interests and benefits? Is this Faisal Bank?
You do realize that this dam will be there not here right?
Beblawi, please focus and have a drink of water which we wonít find after a while!
So after living in fear of this dam for an entire year,
youíre telling us now it will bear interests and benefits?
See how they remove anyone that turns out to be optimistic?
Also, before you say something like that about the dam,
you should ask a specialist,
for example the minister of irrigation,
not just look to the person next to you and wait for a nod like thatÖ
Who is that anyways? A childhood friend of yours?
Who is that? Wait one second, just a secondÖ
Oh thatís the minister of irrigation!
Okay then!
Okay everyone,
I apologize,
this is obviously a misunderstanding,
and we apologize to Mohamed Abdel Motteleb (old singer),
I mean the minister of irrigation Mohamed Abdel Motteleb!
As long as the minister of irrigation agrees that it will bear interest and benefits,
then it must be the case,
who are we to argue with the expert?
This is water, and that means irrigation,
which means Mohamed Abdel Motteleb, hit me.
The future of Egyptís water is safe and sound.
Iím telling every Egyptian, telling the fisherman to go fishing,
telling the farmer to go plant his crops,
that the Nile will remain and Egypt will remain the strong country standing tall.
Yes! Tell the fisherman sitting with his net we will go fishing,
Tell the farmer in his field there will be crops!
Tell the man on the toilet he will be able to wash!
Tell Ayman to shower! Come in Ayman, come in!
On behalf of the entire team,
I would like to thank Mr. Abdel Motteleb for enabling Ayman to finally shower!
Go with peace sir, may god always keep worry away from you.
When Egypt negotiates, it negotiates from a position of power.
The minister of irrigation announces the failure of the negotiations with the Ethiopian counterpart
about the renaissance dam.
Dr. Mohamed Abdel Motteleb said that if the dam gets built without agreement
this will be a catastrophe for Egypt and Sudan.
Iím sorry Aymoon we will have to postpone your shower a little bit,
maybe 10 or 15 years.
Give me the loofah, hand it over.
Okay, you may all go now,
Iím sorry.
Just use wet wipes for now.
Still, donít panic,
look at the full half of the glass, or maybe the full eighthÖ
look just be happy that we have a glass at all!
Weíre not in this alone,
the Sudan is also getting shorted like us,
and they will not be quiet.
The Sudanese are our neighbors and family, and we are confident they will stand by us.
The Sudan announces neutrality with regards to the renaissance dam,
and considers this issue a problem between Cairo and Ethiopia.
The Sudan: the renaissance dam for us is a matter of national sufficiency.
The Sudanese stand is in support of the Ethiopian side.
ìI took the real hit, from the closest people in my life,
arenít these people my family, no I swear to god theyíre monstersî
So easily we got sold out?
ìNile Basin Carnival: I Took a Hit to my Damî
After being neighbors for all these years? We even gave you our high dam!
Yes, they really used to call him the high dam!
So we gave you a damn and nothing in return?
No thatís right we did get someone in return, youíre right.
I wonít blame the Sudan though,
I will blame Abdel Motteleb, how did you remain in office after the ministerial shakeup?
Are you holding something over something important?
Did you hide in your office while they were changing the government?
Abdel Motteleb refuses to leave his office at the ministry,
and refuses to hand over the ministryís files.
What do you mean refuses?
Whatís the logic in that? Isnít that so?
What do you mean a minister holds a sit-in inside the office?
How am I supposed to put faith in you again? Or appoint you again?
Weíre adults now, this kind of thing should really not be happening.
Weíre supposed to be adults indeed, what is this ministerial bashfulness?
Now be good and let go of the ministry, come on thereís a good boy!
This isnít how you should be, Iíll leave you and go bye!
No seriously I will leave you and go bye,
how long have we been dealing with this issue?
We saw it being started, and held conferences
and stupid decisions taken by Mursi,
and then we said the dam will be great, then it was a catastrophe again,
and then we wasted time on a minister thatís refusing the leave office
and then you wonder why weíre getting nowhere?
Come ooooon, come ooooon!
It looks like we have no more options,
we have to start being more careful with water,
no more spraying it in front of stores, no toilet spray cleaner,
they donít have it in Europe and theyíre doing alright,
this will all pass, how bad or terminal can it be?
Is it judgment day?
As a result of this dam, to put it simply in very simple terms,
hundreds of thousands of hectares of agricultural land will no longer be fit for planting.
It will cause a very big shortage in the output of the High Dam.
The renaissance dam is a catastrophe for Egypt.
Itís a time bomb.
Itís bigger than terrorism.
I feel like the world is happy with us.
Okay letís discuss the scene of the judgment dayÖ
Judgment day?
A scenario for judgment day?
ìWe will all die!î
In that case I think we need to offer something for the afterlife,
and we can start by reducing the number of negative deeds we do.
Thereís a ìf*ckî at the end of the script, letís remove it.
Seriously should we be scared?
Judgement day?
So what if itís judgement day?
For us in Egypt this will be a blessing. Seriously though,
if when you step on a thorn some of your bad deeds are forgiven,
imagine our credit with all the shafts weíre getting every day!
But if thatís the case then we should get prepared,
do more good deeds, and spend our last few days close to the Kaaba.
As far as I know there has been 27 earthquakes until now in Saudi Arabia
because of the renaissance dam.
The dam threatens earthquakes all around the Arab world.
Specialists have confirmed that the dam is threatening the Kaaba.
What the hell is going on?
You just want to drag anyone into the fight with us?
The Sudan doesnít mind, ìI will take Saudi with me!î
At least pick a country thatís on the same continent weíre on,
Arenít there any solutions to this dam problem?
Maybe we should see what Ethiopia needs, and coordinate with them,
we need to become closer with them instead of creating more distance.
If the Nile water doesnít come to us, we will go to the water,
as a people, as a nation.
We will just pick up and go drink from there.
Weíll go to Ethiopia to drink water! Ha ha ha ha haÖ
Haaaaa haaaaaa!
Nice one!
Nice one Teleb!
This is the minister of irrigation.
Letís go kids, Uncle Abdel Motteleb will take us on a trip to get emboo (water) from Ethiopia.
Prepare your thermoses, and if you need to use the bathroom to *** do it now
because we have a long way ahead of us.
So the day you gather up Egyptians and take them on a trip outside the country, you choose to take them to Ethiopia?
I thought you were going to take us to Cooky Park, or Sindbad (theme parks), Fustat public park.
Someone please give us a practical and logical solution.
What alternatives do we have doctor?
Egypt must have a role in the maintenance of the dam.
Should we for example request that we participate in the building of the dam?
Yes! We build the dam with them, and that way we can make sure that it will never be built!
And if gets build, we just casually break it down,
and if that doesnít work either we should casually break down the maintenance!
And thatís where weíre the experts,
ìlook sir, the pipe break skin needs to be changed,
you can get the Italian one for 120, or the Egyptian one for 5.
If you want something that will last you..
î Okay, aside from the building and the traveling, without having to go all the way there,
is there a way that the water can come to us?
We only have one solution left.
The project of connecting the Nile and Congo rivers.
Tying together the Nile and Congo rivers.
We are moving forward with this project like a train that wonít stop.
Some people will say itís not going to work,
I say to them what does it matter to you whether it will work or not,
if the countries involved are okay with it.
South Sudan doesnít have a problem, and the Sudan doesnít have a problem.
At all.
Does Sudan never say no about anything at all?
ìWeíre going to build a dam that will cut the water off from Egyptî
Okay no problem.
ìWeíre going to dig a river to deliver water to Egyptî Okay no worries.
ìWe will save up money together then I will take itî Okay thatís fine.
Okay fine no problem, and our problems have been solved
we will connect the Nile and Congo rivers. Tell the Congo thank you!
Tell the specialists thank you!
Tell Ayman he can shower!
Congratulations dear!
Here you go,
here you go, you will finally have a good scrubbing Ayman!
The future is in the Congo river.
Can this project be achieved? Itís very difficult of course.
There is huge difficulty in connecting the two rivers,
and whatís more than that is itís not a difficulty itís an impossibility.
Reaching the planet Mars is easier than making the Congo river plan come true.
This Congo plan is a pile of crap as they say, dates.
Dates? Itís already dates?
-" What dates guys? Whereís the water? This soap is killing me, guys?
Congo!
Whereís the water?
Water! Water!"
-"Rinse him off!
Rinse him off behind the theater boys.
Ayman isnít able to shower, and it has become personal for me.
The Ethiopians must realize their mistake, we need a weapon of retaliation.
Egypt must have the ability of hurt Ethiopia.
Egypt is ready to fight any war in any place.
This dam will not be completed,
we will not allow it and we will go and tear up their clothes outside,
we wonít go to war or any of that, we will tear up their clothes outside.
Weíll tear their clothes outside!
Down with you dams you canít stand up to me!
To be clear this isnít retaliation this is just hot air.
Can anyone give us a solution outside the box?
A magical solution?
This suggestion came from the Knights of Egypt party, itís the magic solution.
God bless you! I was just talking about you and saying the magic solution,
so what is it?
We will plant 10 million trees like the ones in the forest,
and 10 million bushels of banana with fibers.
Isnít this something!
10 million saps of forest trees,
and 10 million bushels of banana milk?
And where are we supposed to plant all these?
Across Egypt, and Ethiopia and Sudan, so all these areas will be very rainy.
Ethiopia itself will say I donít need the dam, open up from your end because the water is flooding us.
We wonít find it tomorrow, no need to drink now,
This is the magic solution?
If any magic can work we can just try a voodoo dollÖ
So when I plant the bananas there will be a lot more rain?
What if I need to dry up, what do I plant then?
Okay, Egypt and we wonít have any problems with planting,
Sudan wonít have a problem either, but how will we ever convince Ethuipia?
One third of the Ethiopian land belongs to Egypt, and we have the contracts,
itís ours and a third of Uganda is ours.
So weíre ready to open a case and take a thurd of Ethiopiaís land.
When you go there, youíll see our minister of irrigation with some Egyptians
and they will be drinking, make sure to bring them with you on your way back.
One second, remember the f*ck at the end of the script, put it back please.
ìA third of Ethiopia is ours, and we will plant bananas that rain.î
They donít even need water they want electricity.
Of course, after failing over the last few years to stop the dam,
and all other solutions turned out useless, the only thing left is ìthe coathangerî
Ethiopia today has become the headquarters for Mossad.
The US position has been in support of the dam for a long time.
Turkey, Erdogan, supports the renaissance dam.
And this is the real danger here, the Muslim Brotherhood is going to Ethiopia.
Qatar, does it play a role in the matter?
For sure!
This isnít just a coathanger, this is a wardrobe!
We can always claim conspiracies and sometimes we can be right,
but believe me, no one needs to conspire against us,
weíre already doing a great job of it on our own!
See you after the break.
Welcome back once again to the show, The Show.
Tonight, I am proud to be hosting someone you will be hearing about
very frequently in the coming period,
and I hope this person plays a pivotal role in the retransformation of the political scene in Egypt,
please welcome Dr. Hala Shokrallah,
president of the Dostoor (Constitution) Party.
-"Youíre very short by the way.
I am not the tallest person but I feel very tall next to you."
-"I was very comforted when I saw you."
-"Really? Iíll just stay here then."
-"Itís because before I came here,
the party members made sure to make me wear shoes with heels,
but when I saw you I thought it would be okay to skip the heels."
-" Not off to a good start, Dr. Hala, not good at all.
How are you?"
-"Iím okay."
-"You are actually the first woman to be president of a political party in the Arab world,
youíre a Christian who is married to a Muslim, you got arrested in the 70s,
then you joined the Constitution Party and then became the president,
which piece of scientific fiction is this story based on?"
-"It might be propaganda."
-"Seriously?"
-"Maybe!"
-"So Iím not part of the propaganda for your party?
May god forgive me!
But your party hasnít been the luckiest so far,
even though people usually say yes to the constitutionÖ
So why you? It seems to be easyÖ"
-"Yeah, when we say no we usually go to jail straight away."
-"But some of your members were jailed during Mursiís time,
and now some are jailed under the current regime,
so we as citizens want to ask what you have offered thatís different between the two phases?"
-" We have offered something new actually,
we have some people who are jailed in both sides of the case."
-"OkayÖ Can we have an example?"
-" TarekÖ Tarek Tito, heís in jail for a case against the MB,
and another case where heís pro MB.
Heís very lucky!"
-" Okay, youíre a party full of youth, the partyís godfather is Dr. Baradie,
and youíre trying to make real changes in the political life.
My question is, when will you get arrested?"
" Weíve been active since the 70s and will stay so."
-"Speaking of the 70s, you were arrested during the 70s."
-" I was arrested a few times sporadically, for demonstrating, for creating ruckus,
for fighting."
-"I still have it from the episode!
I just need to protect myself! Youíre a relatively new party,
to the layman reading the newspaper or listening to the news,
why should this person elect or belong,
or be a member or support this party? What do you offer?"
-"What we offer is that weíre a party thatís willing to defend the people."
-"But a lot of people claim the same thing, some,
some people say the same thing and do differently, so what makes you different?
What will make people realize that you're a party worthy of representing him or her in parliament,
in front of the government? "
-"That youíre ready to adopt peopleís rights and defend those rights,
and if no one accepts what you say,
you need to be prepared to go to jail for the cause."
-"And you have proved this approach in real life! But for a long time, and I donít mean any offence,
but for a long time people said of the party and of Dr. Baradie
that both are disconnected from the street, that youíre an exclusive party,
that youíre not a good fit for the average joe in the rural areas,
has any of that changed?"
-"I believe all this has completely changed, because most of the party are youths,
and they were in the street the whole time."
-"but you faced many problems and bumps, people got rid of other people
and there was a scramble for power and then you sort of shut down,
why did all this happen?"
-" Some people left the party as well, when Baradie left some people
immediately left the party, they saw that they had better chances of getting places than our party,
so that was really lucky for us that we got to see peopleís true colors."
-"I will ask a question but please be frank,
when Dr. Baradie left the party, was this good or bad for the party?
-"I feel like when Dr. Baradie joined the presidential team
that wasnít good for the party of course,
with regards to his leadership and presence in the party."
-"Why?"
-"Because you lost the president, the president of the party.
And we were left with no president for a very long time."
-"You entered into a very fierce competition for the presidency of the party,
who were you up against in the this battle?"
-"I was up against Mrs. Gamila Ismail.."
-"This truly is Womenís Day then!"
-"You can say that, and I was also up against Dr. Hussam Abdel Ghaffar,
and they are both very dear colleagues to me.
-"I want to ask about something else,
the Constitution Party had some significant issues with its structure, people were talking aboutÖ"
-"How do you know all these things?"
-"Sorry?"
-How do you have all this information?"
-"Donít you know thatÖ
that I see with my eyes or what?
Seriously, what changes did you make with the party structure?
As far as I know from people I know inside the party,
there were many clashes between different levels of hierarchy in the party,
and these people, to be completely frank, were complaining.
What have you done to change this?
-"Weíre completely restructuring the party entirely, we started with elections,
and a new mission statement, and the restructuring,
the nominations for president of the party was directly tied to placing a new vision for the party,
and making the mission more realistic and more concerned with the peopleís issues.
This should be a good step forward for us,
we hope it will be looked upon as so in the eyes of the people.
-"You have joined us tonight after sitting through a meeting with President Adly MansourÖ"
-"Yes thatís true."
-"Okay, after the break we will tell you what happened during this meeting, stay tuned."
-"Welcome back once again to the show, The Show.
We are still with Dr. Hala Shukrallah, how are you doing?
-"Good thanks."
-"What did you do with President Adly Mansour?
-"It was a very important meeting, and it was very long,
and there were a lot of people."
-"I am astonished with the amount of details youíre giving us about the meeting!
Donít worry, just tell us what happened during the meeting.
-"There was a bit of agitation during the meetingÖ"
-"During which part?"
-"Do you really want this information? People really want to know?"
-"I absolutely do want to know, I canít speak for everyone here!"
-"It was about the issue of immunity."
-"Of the election committee?"
-"Yes, the supreme council for elections."
-"But this is a good thing, as long as they say itís good
then itís good."
-"Of course, absolutely.
-"So people were saying their opinions, and of course President Adly Mansour gave his opinionÖ"
-"Were you with her at the meeting?
She says ìhis opinionî and you crack up, I donít understand whatís happening!
Did you tell her anything? Please continue maam."
-"And of course you knowÖ"
-"No, but please tell me."
-"The immunity issue is quite important,
because weíre going through difficult circumstancesÖ
-"Weíre doing a lot of things these days because of these ìdifficult conditions!î
Because I distinctly remember a lot of people
voicing opinions against the immunity of committees maybe a year and a half ago,
then today those same people are advocating this immunity.
-"Because of the difficult circumstancesÖ
Did you personally have something specific to say to the President?
Anything specific you asked of him, or told him or advised him to do?
-"To be honest, I talk about this everywhere I go in hope that someone may listen eventually:
we have some people in jail, please release them.
Youíre very happy when youíre saying these words!
-"Maybe they will listen! If I keep repeating this same story, they may be released.
-"Youíre talking about something catastrophic, yet youíre laughing.
Unfortunately that is because issues like these have become completely normal in our society todayÖ
-"When I went to see them at the police station, I was laughing there too!"
-"How come? And they were laughing along with you?"
-"They really were!"
-"Because they canít believe whatís happening?"
-"They canít believe that theyíre arrested on charges of being anti-MB and pro-MB at the same timeÖ
-"They have become schizophrenic because of this, they laugh and then cry, then laugh and then cryÖ "
-"In the coming period, will your members be running in parliamentary elections or not? "
-"Yes, thatís the plan hopefully. Thatís if we ever reach that stage.
-"Why are you saying that? Of course we will reach that stage!"
-"God willing, thatís if the dam in Ethiopia doesnít get in the way."
-"If anything happens with the dam youíll find Fifi Abdou and Hisham Abbas singing about it
like nothing is happening, donít worry.
Are you planning on running during parliamentary elections only
or will you take part on the grass roots level,
on the local municipality levels and such? My question is,
do you have a good base throughout?
-"I would say that we do, weíre on the ground in 27 governorates,
so I think thatís our main point of strength,
we will not succeed in our bid for parliamentary or municipality seats
if we donít do good work on these bases and the peopleís issues.
So what we will do is begin working with the people,
on a local level in the bases,
and we will then think of collaborating with other parties to run for parliament,
then the municipalities, which should be a natural result of the hard work
we do with the communities.
-"Will you nominate someone for president?"
-"No we will not nominate anyone, no one from the party at least.
-"Youíre not going to run for president since youíre president of the party?
-"NoÖ"
-"Okay, who will the party endorse in the presidential elections?
Please be aware that very many things will be affected by your answer,
including this show!
Who will you endorse for president?"
-"The unchanging principle we have is that we will endorse any candidate
from within the civilian democratic camp.
-"So the nominee needs to be a civilian, and stay true to democratic values.
Or someone that has taken off his suit and have joined the civilian democratic campÖ
-"I think I have answered this question before."
-"People in the street are always talking about social justice this and social justice that,
it makes me feel like the phrase has lost its meaning in todayís political scene.
What meaning of social justice would you like to convey to the people?
-"Social justice means a set of policies that serve the poor,
for example like imposing minimum and maximum wages,
meaning taxes on corporate profits instead of taxing the end product
that people buy every day with prices already soaring.
These policies must really be applied as well,
so we canít speak about business tycoons that we canít touch,
and in the meantime we tell the poor folk that can barely afford food
to tighten spending a little more,
that theyíre getting more than they deserve, this is not what should be happening.
-"Maíam you have the microphone,
anything you want to finally add for our audience?"
-"No I just have one question for you."
-"Please go ahead."
-"Where are the five billion?"
-"Everyone is after the five billion!"
-"We just want the partyís share, thatís all!"
-"Oh so youíre here to beg for money then?"
-"No Iím joking, what I do want to add is that we have passed through three years full of dreams,
and a lot of the youth paid with their lives for these dreams,
and we will never forget them,
and even the people still in jail will be released and these dreams will come true.
-"Thank you very much Hala Shukralla, I thank you deeply,
and god willing it will not be the last time for us to host you here,
and I wish your party the best of luck,
along with all the civilian political parties initiating their role in the political life.
See you all next episode of the show, The Show.
Good night.