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>> Narrator: COMING UP, WHY IS
JOE GOING DOWN UNDER?
>> WHOA!
>> Narrator: HOW WILL SAL TALK
HIS WAY OUT OF THIS?
>> WHO THREW THE CHICKEN AT ME?
I WANT THE GUY RIGHT NOW.
[ LAUGHTER ]
>> Narrator: AND WHICH JOKER
WILL BE THE BUTT OF TONIGHT'S
PUNISHMENT?
[ LAUGHTER ]
>> TODAY, WE'RE TEAMING UP IN
THE MALL WITH ONE GOAL IN
MIND -- TO DIP OUR FRIES INTO
OTHER PEOPLE'S FOOD WITHOUT
PERMISSION.
>> EACH TEAM WILL TAKE TURNS
WANDERING THE FOOD COURT, BOTH
DISTRACTING AND DIPPING.
>> THE TEAM WITH THE FEWEST DIPS
LOSES.
>> WHAT'S THAT?
>> LIKE I DON'T KNOW THAT YOU'RE
GONNA DIP --
>> [ Laughing ] OH, MY GOD!
>> ONE.
>> YOU GUYS READY?
>> WHERE'D THEY GO?
>> ARE THEY EVEN OUT THERE?
WHERE ARE YOU GUYS?
[ BOTH LAUGH ]
>> LOOK AT THESE TWO.
>> [ Laughing ] OH, MY GOD.
YOU LOOK LIKE TWO MUPPETS..
>> WAIT, HOW'D HE GET A BIG TRAY
OF FOOD?
>> HELLO?
IF YOU GO TO CAJUN GRILL, I'M
RIGHT BY THE SIDE.
I'M -- OH, SON OF A [BLEEP]
>> HE'S GOT EXTRA PROPS.
>> I'M SORRY. HOLD ON.
I'M LOSING MY TRAY.
>> [ LAUGHS ]
>> I'M LOSING A WHOLE TRAY OF
FOOD.
I'M RIGHT BY THE SBARRO.
>> [ LAUGHING ]
>> IN FRONT.
I'M SORRY.
I'M DROPPING EVERYTHING.
THIS IS CRAZY.
I'M SO SORRY.
>> OH-HO-HO-HO!
>> SHE DIDN'T SEE IT!
>> WHOA!
SHE DIDN'T SEE IT!
>> THAT WAS LIKE A GHOST HAND!
>> WHOA!
>> THAT WAS A HIGH PRODUCTION.
>> WOW!
>> I'M NOT GONNA LIE TO YOU, WE
PUT SOME WORK IN ON THAT ONE.
>> YEAH!
>> WOW!
>> GODSPEED, JOE.
ARE YOU GUYS USING THIS CHAIR?
OH, YOU ARE USING IT?
OKAY.
ARE YOU GUYS USING THIS CHAIR?
THANK YOU.
[ BOTH LAUGHING ]
>> BUT WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
>> IS THAT THE DISTRACTION?
>> SCRATCHING YOUR *** UNTIL
SOMEONE NOTICES?
>> [ LAUGHS ]ES?
>> MURRAY'S JUST WATCHING WITH
A STUPID LOOK ON HIS FACE.
HE'S NOT DOING ANYTHING.
>> [ Laughing ] OH, MY GOD!
>> HE GOT BLOCKED.
>> DON'T TELL JOE.
>> HE'S JUST GONNA STAND THERE
SCRATCHING HIS *** FOR NO
REASON.
>> JUST LET HIM SCRATCH HIS ***.
HE DOESN'T KNOW THAT MURRAY GOT
BLOCKED!
>> WHAT'S THAT, BUD?
OKAY.
>> [ LAUGHING ]
>> YOU DON'T TELL ME WHERE I CAN
SCRATCH MY ***[BLEEP]
THIS IS AMERICA.
[ BOTH LAUGHING ]
WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
>> I GOT BLOCKED.
>> YOU COULD HAVE TOLD ME.
I'M SCRATCHING MY *** IN THE
MIDDLE OF THE FOOD COURT, YOU
DOOF.
>> YEAH, I'LL WAIT OVER HERE.
I FOUND -- THERE'S A TABLE RIGHT
OVER HERE.
[ SNEEZING ]
ALLERGIES, ALLERGIES, ALLERGIES.
>> WHOA!
>> [ SNEEZES ]
>> TURN AROUND.
>> I KNOW. I'M SORRY.
[ DING! ]
>> Both: AAH!
>> [ SNEEZING ]
OH, MY GOD. I'M LIKE...
[ BOTH LAUGHING ]
[ DING! ]
>> Both: WHOA! HE GOT CAUGHT!
[ BUZZER ]
>> [ LAUGHING ]
>> WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
>> [ Laughing ] OH, GOD!
OH, MY GOD!
>> YOU DOPE!
>> OH, MY GOD!
>> I THOUGHT THAT WAS SEAMLESS,
BOYS.
[ DING! ]
>> ME AND Q ARE FOOD-COURT KIND
OF GUYS.
>> MURRAY AND I ARE MORE
FINE-DINING GUYS.
>> YOU'RE NOT FINE-DINING, MY
FRIENDS.
>> WHAT'S GOING ON WITH THE HAIR
TODAY, BUD?
WHAT IS THAT?
>> IT'S LIKE A TIDAL WAVE.
>> IT LOOKS LIKE A WAVE ABOUT TO
CREST.
>> SWITCH IT UP A LITTLE BIT.
I CAN DO STUFF WITH MY HAIR.
[ BOTH LAUGH ]
>> EXCUSE ME.
WHERE DID YOU GET, LIKE -- IS
THIS, OVER HERE, WHERE YOU
ORDERED?
IT'S OVER HERE?
>> YEAH.
>> WHICH ONE?
>> HERE HE GOES!
>> GO! GO! GO!
>> IT'S THE CAJUN GRILL?
[ BOTH LAUGH ]
>> HE DID IT!
>> OH, MAN.
THANK YOU VERY MUCH.
APPRECIATE IT.
>> HE'S LIKE LIGHTNING.
>> WOW!
>> IT'S A BLUR.
>> THAT MAN HAS NO IDEA HE'S
BEEN DIPPED.
>> NICE ONE, BUDDY.
>> SAL, THAT'S THE FIRST TIME
I'VE EVER SEEN YOU RUN, AND
WE'VE BEEN FRIENDS 23 YEARS.
>> GENTLEMEN, I PRESENT THE.
SUPER LONG FRY.
>> [ LAUGHS ]
A LITTLE ARTS-AND-CRAFTS HOUR?
>> WE CAME TO WIN, Y'ALLS.
>> ALL RIGHT, MAN.
LET'S SEE HOW THE EXTENDER
TREATS THEM.
>> IS IT OKAY?
THANKS.
SEE MY -- DO YOU LIKE THAT
PHONE?
I HAVE THIS NEW PHONE.
IT'S SO MUCH BIGGER.
DO YOU SEE THIS, LIKE,
"DISTRACTION -- NOUN.
A THING THAT PREVENTS SOMEONE
FROM GIVING FULL ATTENTION TO
SOMETHING ELSE.
A DIVERSION OR RECREATION."
THAT'S THE DEFINITION OF A
DISTRACTION.
SO --
[ BOTH LAUGH ]
>> COME ON.
>> HOLD ON.
LET ME LOOK UP "CAUGHT."
[ BOTH LAUGH ]
YOU KNOW WHAT?
EXCUSE ME.
I'M PLAYING HIDE-AND-GO-SEEK
WITH MY NIECE.
DO YOU SEE A GIRL WITH PIGTAILS
COMING RIGHT HERE?
[ DING! ]
>> OH!
>> THAT WAS GOOD DIP!
>> [ LAUGHS ]
>> THAT'S A GOOD DIP.
>> WHAT'S GOING ON?
ARE WE PLAYING FUN GAMES HERE?
>> SHE'S LOOKING FOR ME.
>> SHE'S WHAT?
SHE'S LOOKING FOR ME.
I DON'T WANT HER TO SEE ME,
SO...
[ BOTH LAUGH ]
>> OH, AND SHE CAUGHT YOU.
SHE CAUGHT YOU.
>> NO, SHE DIDN'T. SHE DIDN'T.
[ BOTH LAUGH ]
>> CAUGHT!
SHE LITERALLY YELLED AT YOU, "I
SAW YOU."
LIKE, THAT'S THE WORST WAY TO
GET CAUGHT EVER.
>> GUYS?
>> YEP?
>> I HAVE A SECRET WEAPON.
>> YOU HAVE A SECRET WEAPON?
OKAY.
>> A LITTLE SOMETHING SOMETHING
FOR THE DISTRACTION.
>> OH, YEAH?
>> [ LAUGHS ]
>> SAL'S REAL EXCITED FOR THIS
CHALLENGE.
[ BOTH LAUGH ]
>> OH, SHE'S LOOKING.
>> IS THIS GUY FOR REAL?
IS THIS GUY FOR REAL WALKING
AROUND LIKE THAT?
THAT IS SO BIZARRE.
WHAT IS HE DOING?
>> YOU SEE THAT, RIGHT?
>> I SEE IT.
[ DING! ]
>> OH, MY GOD!
[ BOTH LAUGH ]
>> SHE CLEARLY SAW YOU DIP IT IN
HER PLATE.
>> SHE DIDN'T SAY ANYTHING.
>> SHE DIDN'T SAY ANYTHING.
COUNTS.
>> COUNTS.
>> THAT'S HOW YOU DO IT, GUYS.
[ BOTH LAUGH ]
>> YOU PACKAGED THAT WIN
TOGETHER.
[ BOTH LAUGH ]
[ DING! ]
>> Narrator: LOOKS LIKE JOE AND
MURR ARE TAKING A DIP ON THE
LOSER BOARD.
>> YOU KNOW, I WON'T SKINNY-DIP
IN THE OCEAN 'CAUSE I'M AFRAID
SOMETHING'S GONNA SWIM IN MY PEE
HOLE.
[ LAUGHTER ]
>> WHAT, LIKE A SHARK?
>> YEAH.
YEAH, LIKE A SHARK.
OH, THANKS, MURR.
>> YOU MEAN A GREAT WHITE SHARK?
>> YEAH!
>> HOW DO YOU KNOW?
TODAY, WE'RE AT THE JERSEY SHORE
WORKING AT JIMBO'S RESTAURANT.
WE'LL BE BEHIND THE COUNTER
TAKING ORDERS AND SERVING UP
FOOD.
>> AND THE WHOLE TIME WE GOT TO
DO AND SAY WHAT THE OTHER GUYS
TELL US.
>> AND IF YOU REFUSE ANY OF IT,
YOU LOSE.
>> SWITCH!
>> [ GROANS ]
>> THERE'S SOMETHING ABOUT WHEN
YOU COME DOWN TO THE
JERSEY SHORE TO JUST EAT LIKE
AN ABSOLUTE ANIMAL.
>> YOU THINK?
>> THAT IS WAY TOO BIG.
>> YOU LOOK LIKE AN EXTRA FROM
"SCARFACE."
[ BOTH LAUGH ]
>> ALL RIGHT, HERE WE GO.
>> SO A CAJUN CHICKEN PLATTER.
>> UNDERNEATH THE COUNTER THERE,
THERE'S A FOOT-LONG HOT DOG.
>> OF COURSE.
>> JUST GRAB IT AND USE IT.
>> YEAH, WHAT IS IT, A...
>> AN ORCHESTRA.
>> A MAESTRO.
>> A MAESTRO. YEAH.
>> IS IT TOGETHER OR SEPARATE?
>> THERE IT IS.
>> THERE IT IS.
>> IT'S ONE CHICKEN FINGERS
PLATTER, ONE CAJUN CHICKEN
PLATTER...
>> AND THEY BOTH GO WITH --
OKAY.
>> THEY BOTH COME WITH A FREE
SOFT DRINK.
I CAN PUT IT ON THIS CARD.
THIS IS YOUR DISCOVER RIGHT
HERE?
[ LAUGHTER ]
>> DON'T DO THAT.
>> AND THEN A LEMONADE, AND WHAT
CAN I GET YOU?
WHAT IS THAT?
THEY MAKE ME HOLD IT.
>> WHY DO THEY MAKE HIM HOLD A
RAW FOOT-LONG HOT DOG?
>> IT'S NEITHER HERE NOR THERE.
SO YOU JUST WANT TO SIGN?
>> SAL, AS SHE'S SIGNING, KEEP
TAPPING THE PAPER WITH THE HOT
DOG.
[ LAUGHTER ]
>> ALL RIGHT, SO, I'LL BRING IT
OVER TO YOU.
>> SAL, THROW A CHICKEN FINGER
RIGHT BEHIND THIS GUY.
>> [ Laughing ] OH, MY GOD.
>> OH [BLEEP] GUYS. COME ON.
[ LAUGHTER ]
>> OH, MY...
[ LAUGHTER ]
>> HE MUST HAVE FELT IT.
[ LAUGHTER ]
>> HE'S CHECKING TO SEE IF A
BIRD [BLEEP] ON HIS HAT.
[ LAUGHTER ]
>> I'M NOT -- I DON'T THINK --
I DON'T THINK THAT'S FUNNY.
>>ERE HE COMES.
HE'S COMING IN. HE'S COMING IN.
[ LAUGHTER ]
>> STAND UP!
STAND UP OR YOU LOSE.
STAND UP OR YOU LOSE.
>> SAL, THROW A CHICKEN FINGER
RIGHT BEHIND THIS GUY.
>> [ Laughing ] OH, MY GOD.
>> OH, MY...
[ LAUGHTER ]
>> HERE HE COMES.
HE'S COMING IN. HE'S COMING IN.
>> STAND UP!
STAND UP OR YOU LOSE.
STAND UP OR YOU LOSE.
>> HE'S COMING IN LOOKING.
>> WERE YOU THE ONE WHO
ORDERED THE CHICKEN FINGERS?
[ LAUGHTER ]
>> OH [BLEEP] ME.
WERE YOU THE ONE THAT ORDERED
THE CHICKEN FINGERS?
>> I DIDN'T ORDER ANYTHING.
I WAS WALKING DOWN THE BOARDWALK
AND CHICKEN CAME FLYING ACROSS
LIKE THIS AND HIT ME IN THE
HEAD.
>> ARE YOU TELLING ME THAT A
CHICKEN FINGER CAME FLYING BY
AND HIT YOU?
>> SMACKED OFF THE BUILDING HERE
AND HIT ME IN THE HEAD.
>> YEAH, I KNOW, I THREW IT.
[ LAUGHTER ]
>> WHO THREW THE CHICKEN AT ME?
I WANT THE GUY RIGHT NOW.
[ LAUGHTER ]
>> I'LL BE ON THE LOOKOUT.
[ BUZZER ]
>> HEY, WHAT'S UP, GUYS?
WHAT CAN I DO FOR YOU?
CHICKEN FINGERS?
>> YEP.
>> OKAY, COOL.
AND THEN WHAT FOR YOU? ANYTHING?
JUST THAT? COOL.
YOU GONNA SIT AND EAT, OR YOU
GONNA...
>> YEAH.
>> YEAH.
>> IF YOU GUYS WANT TO POP THAT
SHIRT OFF, WE ALLOW THAT.
>> YEAH, AND IF YOU WANT TO POP
THAT SHIRT OFF, THAT'S OKAY IN
HERE.
YOU KNOW, SUN'S OUT, GUNS OUT.
[ LAUGHTER ]
>> SPRITE?
>> A SPRITE? YEAH.
YOU GOT IT.
YOU GOT THAT?
>> IF YOU GUYS WANT TO POP THOSE
SHIRTS OFF, WE ALLOW IT.
>> IF HE WANTS TO POP THAT SHIRT
OFF...
>> WE'RE OKAY WITH IT.
YOU WANT TO POP THAT SHIRT OFF?
>> YOU WANT TO POP THAT SHIRT
OFF?
[ LAUGHTER ]
IDIOTS.
>> HERE WE GO.
HERE WE GO.
>> I'LL HAVE THE...
>> YOU WANT TO POP THAT SHIRT
OFF, WE'RE OKAY WITH IT HERE.
>> ...ITALIAN SAUSAGE PLATTER.
>> AND JUST SO YOU KNOW, IF YOU
WANT TO POP YOUR SHIRT OFF,
WE'RE COOL WITH THAT IN HERE.
>> OKAY. GREAT.
>> IT'S ALL GOOD.
>> SO, DO YOU WANT TO?
>> FRENCH FRIES AND A PICKLE.
[ LAUGHTER ]
>> SO, WHERE DO WE STAND ON THE
SHIRTSKY?
>> YEAH. NO.
>> ON THE POP?
NO ON THE POPSKY. GREAT.
SO THEN THAT'LL JUST BE $8.55.
THERE WE GO.
>> OKAY, NOW GO BACK TO THOSE
TWO GUYS IN THE BOOTH.
>> YOU GOT THEIR CHICKEN
FINGERS, BUDDY?
>> THEY GOT SOME FRESH FRIES
COMING OUT IN A SECOND, SO I
JUST BROUGHT THESE OVER FIRST.
>> NOW DON'T LEAVE THE TABLE.
JUST LINGER.
LET IT LINGER.
[ LAUGHTER ]
>> STARE AT THEM FROM AFAR.
STARE AT THEM FROM AFAR.
[ LAUGHTER ]
INCH CLOSER.
START INCHING CLOSER.
INCH. INCH. INCH.
[ LAUGHTER ]
IT'S FULL SERVICE. YEAH.
[ LAUGHTER ]
>> NOTHING IS WORSE THAN THE
LINGERING WAITER.
[ LAUGHTER ]
>> THE KID HE'S LOOKING AT...
[ LAUGHTER ]
>> YEAH.
>> JOE, WALK AWAY.
WALK AWAY. NO PROBLEM.
>> ALL RIGHT. SORRY, BUD.
>> KEEP WALKING BACK AND FORTH,
AND STARE AT THEM.
[ LAUGHTER ]
>> "THIS GUY'S [BLEEP] CRAZY."
[ DING! ]
>> Q, STARE OFF INTO THE
DISTANCE.
>> YOU LOOK CRAZY.
>> WHAT'S GOING ON?
>> ALL RIGHT, Q, STARE FOR A
SECOND.
OKAY, NOW APOLOGIZE.
>> SORRY. SORRY.
>> DARRELL FROM THE KITCHEN...
>> DARRELL FROM THE KITCHEN...
>> ...SHOWED ME HIS JUNK
EARLIER.
>> OH.
[ LAUGHTER ]
NO ONE'S SAYING THAT.
NOBODY WOULD SAY THAT.
[ LAUGHTER ]
NO.
>> WOW.
MURR, BEFORE YOU GO OVER TO
SERVE THEM THEIR FRIES, THERE'S
A BAG OF SAND RIGHT UNDER THE
REGISTER.
GRAB IT, AND PUT IT IN YOUR
PANTS.
>> THAT'S HARDLY THE WEIRDEST
THING THAT'S BEEN IN MURRAY'S
CROTCH.
>> HERE WE GO.
>> DROP THE FRIES OFF, BUD.
>> OKAY, THERE'S SOME FRIES.
>> THANK YOU.
>> ENJOY THE FRIES.
>> TURN AROUND, STOP THERE, AND
SHAKE THE SAND OUT OF YOUR
PANTS.
>> DUMP THE BAG DOWN YOUR PANTS.
>> ALL RIGHT, NOW GO.
>> SHAKE. SHAKE YOUR LEG.
[ LAUGHTER ]
SHAKE YOUR LEG.
>> THIS SAND IS EVERYWHERE.
I CAN'T -- I'VE BEEN TRYING TO
GET THE SAND OUT.
[ LAUGHTER ]
>> HE'S BAFFLED HOW MUCH SAND
FITS UP THERE.
>> SHAKE IT ALL THE WAY.
THERE'S TONS.
>> TRYING TO GET IT OUT.
>> [ Laughing ] WHERE IS ALL
THAT SAND COMING FROM?
>> THERE'S A ROCK IN THERE!
>> THAT'S MUCH BETTER NOW.
I HAD A ROCK IN THERE.
GEEZ.
[ LAUGHTER ]
HOW'S IT GOING?
HOW CAN I HELP YOU OUT?
>> CAN I GET AN ORDER OF THE
BABY-BACK RIBS?
>> BABY-BACK RIBS. GOOD CHOICE.
>> LET ME ASK YOU SOMETHING.
YOU LIKE PICKLES?
>> DO YOU LIKE PICKLES?
>> I DO.
>> HAND HIM A PICKLE.
>> TRY THAT.
WE JUST GOT THIS BRAND.
>> KEEP HANDING THIS GUY
PICKLES.
>> BARBECUE SAUCE ON THAT, OR...
>> YES, PLEASE.
>> OKAY.
ANY ASSORTMENT OF BARBECUE
SAUCE?
>> KEEP HANDING HIM PICKLES.
>> LEMONADE, I GUESS.
>> A LEMONADE?
OKAY.
SMALL, MEDIUM, LARGE?
>> KEEP HANDING HIM PICKLES.
>> FULL PICKLE AHEAD.
>> CHICKEN FINGERS AND FRENCH
FRIES.
>> AN ORDER OF THE KIDS' CHICKEN
FINGERS AND THE FRENCH FRIES.
>> FISTFUL OF PICKLES.
>> KETCHUP?
KETCHUP WITH THAT? OKAY.
[ LAUGHTER ]
>> LOOK AT THE PICKLE JUICE.
[ LAUGHTER ]
>> BABY-BACK RIBS -- $7.99.
>> FISTFUL OF PICKLES IS $9.
>> A FISTFUL OF PICKLES IS $9.
>> WHAT?
I'D LIKE TO KNOW HOW MANY MORE
PICKLES I CAN HOLD, THEN.
>> WELL, HE'S GIVING YOU THE
CHANGE.
>> SO IT'S $20.
>> PICKLE ON THE MONEY.
PUT THE PICKLE ON THE MONEY.
>> YEAH, JUST DROP IT!
>> HEY.
>> DO YOU NEED A HAND, OR -- ARE
YOU IN A BIT OF A PICKLE?
[ LAUGHTER ]
>> Narrator: SAL AND Q JUST
SERVED THEMSELVES A LOSS, SO THE
GUYS ARE NOW TIED ON THE LOSER
BOARD.
COMING UP, WHICH JOKER WILL END
>> WE'RE IN THE PARK, LOOKING
FOR SOMEBODY NAMED BETH.
>> THAT'S ALL YOU GOT TO DO IS
FIND SOMEONE NAMED BETH.
>> ANY BETH WILL DO.
>> IF YOU CAN'T FIND LARRY, YOU
LOSE.
>> [ LAUGHS ]
BETH.
>> BETH.
BETH!
>> Narrator: IT'S Q AND JOE IN
THE JOKER VS. JOKER CHALLENGE.
>> I'VE HAD NO LUCK FINDING A
LARRY.
>> LARRY!
LARRY!
LARRY!
LARRY!
>> [ LAUGHS ]
>> LET'S SEE HOW BETH WORKS OUT.
>> ALL RIGHT.
>> BETH!
BETH, I WAS LOOKING FOR YOU!
>> JOE, WHO DO YOU REALLY WANT
TO CALL OUT FOR?
LARRY! BETH!
[ LAUGHTER ]
>> WAIT. WAIT.
WAIT A MINUTE!
WHY WOULD YOU PICK A GUY?
>> WATCH AND LEARN.
>> YOU WANT TO LOSE THIS
CHALLENGE.
>> "WATCH AND LEARN."
>> IS THAT AN iPHONE YOU GOT,
BUD?
YEAH, I JUST GOT THE iPHONE.
DO YOU KNOW HOW TO SORT THE
CONTACTS IN YOUR PHONE?
LIKE, SO IF I'M LOOKING FOR A
BETH --
IS IT?
>> WHAT THE HELL'S GOING ON OUT
THERE?
>> ARE YOUR CONTACTS SORTED BY
FIRST NAME?
>> WOW, I ADMIRE THIS APPROACH.
I ADMIRE THIS APPROACH.
>> LET'S SAY YOU WANT TO GO TO
BETH.
DO YOU HAVE A BETH IN THERE?
OH, THERE'S A BETH RIGHT THERE.
IT'S CALLING BETH?
GOTCHA.
>> YOU GOT TO TALK TO HER.
WE HAVE TO HEAR HER VOICE.
>> WHO IS IT?
>> IT'S BETH.
[ LAUGHTER ]
YEAH, IT'S RINGING.
SO THAT'S ALL?
YOU HIT THE BUTTON.
I KNOW. I NEED TO TALK TO THEM.
>> THERE HE GOES.
>> SHE DIDN'T ANSWER.
THAT'S UNFORTUNATE.
>> [ Laughing ] YEAH.
>> OH, SO CLOSE.
>> WOW! CLEVER!
>> SMART APPROACH.
>> THAT'S A LONG WAY TO GO FOR A
THUMBS DOWN.
[ BUZZER ]
>> Q, I CAN'T FIND YOU IN THE
PARK.
THERE'S JUST WAY TOO MANY
HOMELESS PEOPLE AROUND.
WELL, WHICH ONE'S YOU?
>> RIGHT.
[ LAUGHTER ]
IS YOUR NAME BETH?
YOU'RE NOT BETH?
ARE YOU BETH?
YOU GUYS ARE KILLING ME.
>> IT'S YOUR FIRST ATTEMPT.
>> EXCUSE ME.
IS YOUR NAME BETH?
AH, YOU'RE KILLING ME.
PINK HAT, IS YOUR NAME BETH?
NOT BETH?
YEAH, YOU'RE KILLING ME.
[ LAUGHTER ]
KILLING ME.
>> WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
>> IS YOUR NAME BETH? BETH?
>> NO.
>> AH, YOU'RE KILLING ME.
>> [ LAUGHS ]
>> CAN I GET A BITE OF THAT
SANDWICH?
>> SHE GAVE A BITE OF THE
SANDWICH.
[ LAUGHTER ]
>> HE JUST TOOK A BITE OF HER
SANDWICH.
>> [ LAUGHS ]
>> HEY, IS YOUR NAME BETH?
OR ELIZABETH?
>> YEAH, IT IS.
>> YOUR NAME'S BETH?!
>> HOLY [BLEEP] HER NAME IS
BETH!
>> YOUR NAME'S BETH!
>> GET OUT OF HERE!
I GOT A BETH!
>> HOW'D HE FIND A BETH?
>> LOVELY MEETING YOU.
LOVELY MEETING YOU.
LOVELY!
YOU, BETH, ARE NOT KILLING ME.
[ DING! ]
>> Narrator: THE ONLY THING JOE
FOUND WAS A LOSS, MAKING HIM
TONIGHT'S BIG LOSER.
>> HERE'S A FACT -- JOE LOST!
>> YEAH!
>> HERE'S ANOTHER FACT -- JOE
HAS AN EXTREMELY EFFEMINATE DOG
NAMED CANNOLI!
>> YEAH, ALBEIT CUTE, CANNOLI IS
A GIRLY DOG.
>> JOE, FOR YOUR PUNISHMENT, YOU
HAVE TO TAKE YOUR DOG FOR A
WALK.
>> ALL RIGHT, AND THE CATCH?
>> AND THE CATCH IS, SINCE
YOU'RE SUCH A CUTE COUPLE, WE'VE
PICKED OUT AN INTERESTING
ENSEMBLE FOR THE TWO OF YOU TO
WEAR WHILE YOU STROLL.
>> YES, AND YOU CANNOT STOP
UNTIL SOMEONE TELLS YOU THAT
YOU'RE CUTER THAN THE CUTEST DOG
IN THE WORLD.
>> MUCH LIKE CANNOLI, THIS
PUNISHMENT LICKS BALLS.
[ LAUGHTER ]
>> WE ARE ON WALL STREET AT
5:00 P.M.
EVERY SINGLE MOVER AND SHAKER IS
WALKING AROUND IN THEIR $2,000
SUITS, AND JOE IS GONNA
HUMILIATE HIMSELF FOR THEIR
PLEASURE.
>> ALL RIGHT, HERE HE COMES.
>> ALL RIGHT, HERE HE COMES.
[ LAUGHTER ]
OH, MY GOD.
>> I AIN'T GONNA LIE, BOYS, THIS
ONE STINKS.
[ LAUGHTER ]
>> SEE, HE'S GOT WINGS.
>> CANNOLI, LET'S GO GET PEOPLE
TO SAY THAT I'M CUTER THAN YOU.
CUTE DOG, NO?
>> YOU THINK EVEN CANNOLI RIGHT
NOW IS LIKE, "OH, MY GOD"?
>> CANNOLI'S EMBARRASSED.
>> IT'S A CUTE PUPPY, RIGHT?
YOU LIKE MY OUTFIT?
WHO'S, UH --
>> WHO'S CUTER?
>> WHO'S CUTER, THOUGH?
WHO'S CUTER?
THE DOG'S CUTER. OF COURSE.
[ LAUGHTER ]
THANK YOU, BUDDY.
ENJOY YOUR STOCKS AND BONDS.
>> JOE.
>> YEAH?
>> YOU BE EMBARRASSED?
[ LAUGHTER ]
>> IS THAT A CUTE PUPPY?
YOU LIKE MY OUTFIT?
WHO DO YOU THINK'S CUTER -- ME
OR THE PUPPY?
THE PUPPY.
>> THAT'S IT, BUDDY. SORRY!
>> AW, MAN, THIS ISN'T WORKING
OUT.
>> SO HOW 'BOUT MAYBE ANOTHER
OUTFIT?
>> YEAH!
>> THE BEE'S NOT WORKING.
WE'LL CHANGE YA.
YOU WANT TO CHANGE?
>> A COSTUME CHANGE?
WHAT AM I? MADONNA?
>> BUZZ OFF AND CHANGE INTO THE
NEW OUTFIT, AND WE'LL SEE IF YOU
HAVE ANY MORE LUCK.
[ LAUGHTER ]
>> I [BLEEP] HATE YOU.
>> DON'T LOSE. DON'T LOSE.
[ LAUGHTER ]
>> THERE YOU GO.
>> TURN AROUND. TURN AROUND.
TURN AROUND.
[ LAUGHTER ]
I'M GONNA PASS OUT.
>> OH, MY GOD.
OH, MY GOD!
>> OH, MY GOD.
>> YOUR BARE *** IS ON
WALL STREET.
>> APPRECIATE THE
AIR-CONDITIONING, GUYS.
YOU LIKE THE COWGIRL?
WHO'S CUTER -- THE COWBOY OR THE
COWGIRL?
COWGIRL?
THE COWGIRL TAKES IT, MAN?
>> COWGIRL!
COWGIRL ALL DAY.
>> HOW DOES IT FEEL OUT THERE,
BONANZA?
>> READY FOR ANOTHER OUTFIT?
>> YIPPEE-KI-YAY, MOTHER[BLEEP]
[ LAUGHTER ]
>> OH, MY GOD.
OH, MY GOD!
>> OH, MY GOD!
>> SUCH A PRETTY BRIDE.
>> WOW!
>> JOE!
>> [ Laughing ] OH, MY GOD.
>> I CAN'T BELIEVE HE FIT IN THE
SHOES.
>> OH, MY GOD.
>> [ Laughing ] OH, MY GOD.
THIS IS THE BEST.
>> THIS IS MY FAVORITE THING
EVER RIGHT NOW.
>> I'M A DOGGONE LUCKY GUY.
>> HOW ARE YOU EVEN ABLE TO PUN?
>> HOW DOES THE DRESS LOOK?
DO YOU THINK THE PUPPY LOOKS
CUTE?
THE GROOM.
>> Together: OH!
I DO.
OH, THERE YOU GO!
THAT'S WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT!
THIS IS THE HAPPIEST BRIDE EVER.
[ LAUGHTER ]
>> YAY!
>> I WON.
YAY. I WON.
IT'S OVER!
YOU SON OF A ***.
IF I DIDN'T HAVE HEELS ON.
IF I DIDN'T HAVE HEELS ON.
[ LAUGHTER ]
THIS IS IT.
[ LAUGHTER ]
YEAH, LAUGH IT UP!