Tip:
Highlight text to annotate it
X
- 'Course I remember, it was last week.
- Our new player is coming tonight. - I know! I'm excited. Can't wait.
- Arthur! - Yeah? - Is that a personal call?
- Uh, no—it's a client emergency. - Attaboy.
- (muttered) Silent Strike!
- At least it's game day.
- Yeah, I'm excited to see what happens. - Tell Mom we're playing there tonight, okay?
- Yeah, okay!
- Evan? - (gasp) Ugh, Sam!
- Mom says I'm LARPing with you guys tonight.
- No, she didn't, Sam. Tell her that roleplaying teaches you to worship the Devil.
- So what? She won't care!
- Sorry, kiddo. - See you soon, Brittany.
- What's with the ears? - My character is an elf!
- You look like a Vulcan ***.
- Uh, duh, I shot Arthur, remember? Right in the ***.
- See you soon. - Yeah, okay, see ya.
- I shot a man in the ***.
- Showtime.
- What are you hoping for? - I dunno. You said we totally needed a paladin. - We ABSOLUTELY need a paladin.
- 'Sup. - Evan! What'd the new player roll up?
- A paladin—a warrior priest.
- We really do need a paladin!
- By the way, Will, nice costume. The only multi-class ranger/barista in existence?
- Here, I got this for you. Put it on. - What is this?
- It's a tunic? - Obviously?
- Oh, yeah, yeah—a tunic. . . . - Come on, put it on!
- Guys, this is Shane. - Hey!
- Hey! We don't bite. Hard.
- Oh my God, don't be a tool! Just tell her your name.
- Ow! (laughs) All right. (clears throat)
- I am Noctus, rogue extraordinaire. If it needs to be silent and it needs to be deadly, I'm your man.
- Stop!
- I'm gonna guess that your real name isn't Noctus?
- Uh, no, um, I'm Arthur. And that's Evan, of course, you know him. He's our GM.
- And my best friend. And I live with him.
- Okay. And I'm Brittany. I play an elven mage named Corillia.
- Will.
- Yeah, that's Will. He's my brother. And he's a ranger.
- Okay! Um, I'm Shane. And I'll be playing Astra, a paladin.
- We ready to go, then? Let's get to it.
- Well met, Lady Astra. Our friend Noctus has suffered a grievous wound.
- If by laying hands, I can heal, I would be glad to do so.
- Wait, w-w-wait, lay hands? You have to actually touch the wound?
- Oh my God, Noctus, buddy, you owe me big time!
- Be at peace, Noctus.
- Astra's touch knits the wound and Little Noctus feels much better.
- Ugh, lame.
- (gruff) This is the Legion! We know you have the one who stole the Eleventh Eye!
- (gruff) Surrender him or we'll kill everyone inside.
- (high-pitched) Oh! Oh, Lady Corillia, they won't wait long!
- Here, Jeeves. One hundred gold. Everyone out the back.
- This is more gold than I've ever seen in my life!
- Corillia, Fireball the inn.
- What? - Let the flaming inn collapse on them.
- Let them burn! - Oh, dear.
- We've built them a funeral pyre. Keep watch! Anyone trying to crawl out gets kicked back inside!
- Jesus, aren't you a priest?
- That gold buys Jeeves a new inn and us a few dead soldiers.
- So my Legionnaire storyline— - Just went up in smoke!
- Can we keep her?