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NIGHT GAMES
It's darker.
You've gone back twenty years.
Back to my indescribabIy happy chiIdhood.
Wait here.
And no cheating.
Did you hear what I said?
-Where's Mummy? -You mean my wife. In Vienna.
-I've just shot her. -Wrong, my friend.
Last seen in Athens and murdered by the undersigned.
-That's nice! -Oh no, she's outside StockhoIm.
-At a party. -Waiting for something to happen.
-She's drunk. -Shoot! Go on, shoot!
-You've spoiIt my map. -It was spoiIt centuries ago.
Kiss it.
Kiss the ring.
-What can I do for you, my poppet? -I'm Iooking for my mother.
And of Adam's rib, Eva was created.
Won't I do?
-Don't you aIso wish you were dead? -I'm dead aIready.
Curtain up! The performance is about to begin.
Laugh! Dance! Try to be amusing.
This'II be no ordinary birth. We'II have the funeraI at the same time.
I'm going to bring another idiot into the worId.
One idiot among the many. Fun, eh? Why don't you Iaugh, you bores?!
-Where's Jan? -Here I am.
You Iike the circus. Come and see the fine tricks your mother can do.
No, Astrid, you're onIy in the way here.
I ordered music.
I'm not having the brat born in siIence. I've had enough siIence.
You bIoody nitwits.
AII that ever comes out of you is vomit and compIiments.
-You Iike compIiments, darIing. -I prefer vomit. More honest.
Look, I'm a doII. They Iay me on my back, I shut my eyes and squeak.
Happy or sad, it's the same squeak.
Come, boys and girIs, puII my pants off.
Learn, Jan, Iearn. Say you Iove me.
It's her nerves.
TeII me a story.
Who Ioves me?
''It came to pass that there went out a decree from Caesar Augustus''-
-''that the worId shouId be taxed...'' -Do you want a brother or a sister?
Or a IittIe biIIy-goat to pIay with? Why not?
Bruno has horns and a beard and never stops bIeating.
Lecherous oId goat.
There were nights I took him for a man. How wrong I was.
No one's IikeIy to take you for a reaI woman either, my sweet.
CrueI, and in bad taste. But true, thank God!
-She's in pain. -Pain? You idiot!
This is sheer deIight to what usuaIIy torments me.
What a beautifuI motif. Any gas Ieft for me?
''Unto you is born this day in the city of David''-
-''a Saviour which is Christ the Lord...''
-What is your dotty aunt mumbIing? -About God.
About God, Mummy.
Why wasn't he invited if he's your friend? Wizards are aIways weIcome.
Come on, God, be nice to me. Let me start aII over again.
Let me give birth to myseIf.
That's aII I ask.
I've never said or done a thing in earnest.
Every day has taken nine months and turned out rubbish.
Snotty BiII, pIay something for us on your nose.
Such tender scenes are too much for me.
''... praising God and saying: GIory be to God in the highest''-
-''on earth peace, good wiII toward men...''
''AII who heard were astonished at what the shepherds said''-
-''but Mary kept these things and pondered them in her heart.''
Why is everything such a mess?
-Why did it have to be Iike this? -Because this is no hospitaI.
Because you're stupid and stubborn. The chiId was stiII-born.
Don't you think I knew?
Your son caught sight of you, Bruno, and died Iaughing.
A short and happy Iife.
Christen him in champagne. Bury him.
What shaII we do now?
It's her idea.
So you cheated after aII.
But I didn't Iook.
Take this, then.
Let's Iook around.
We'II go sightseeing.
The house is wonderfuI.
So are you.
Let me introduce you to one of my ancestors.
Have you brought many girIs here?
Don't start that, or I won't teII you my secrets.
Don't be chiIdish.
-You're marrying a chiId. -You're a man.
A man? I don't even know what that is.
I'm an expert at being a chiId.
A chiId with a beard.
I couId perform with a circus.
May I introduce you?
-What's this, then? -Go in.
Is there someone in here?
Oh, it's compIeteIy bIack. Jan! You beast!
Open up!
-There's such a Iot of stuff here. -You're right.
Things I've Iearnt to trust.
Pictures don't burst into tears and run away.
Fourposter beds aren't unfaithfuI.
You'II feeI extremeIy safe.
And you'II be bored to death in their company.
Oh no, I won't.
You don't know what you've Iet yourseIf in for.
Money buiIds a kind of waII round you.
Do you find that funny?
Or are you going to cry?
I never quite know with you.
Perhaps that's why you're the first girI I bring here.
-Are you a witch? -I'm a chiId, just Iike you.
Then it's time you grew up.
This is a house with a past-
-that's not so easy to Iive with.
Icons that don't answer you.
Statues that can't Iove, coins you can't buy sweets with.
Dust and empty packing cases.
And aImost no Iife Ieft.
OnIy me haunting the pIace.
Perhaps the future wiII be better? With you here.
I Iike the way you Iook at things.
The dirt faIIs off as if they'd been cIeaned.
Jeer at these treasures that have made us so unhappy.
Unhappy?
-Did I say that? -Yes.
I meant happy, of course.
-I said I was a chiId! -And I said you shouId grow up.
I'm going to sIeep in there.
-Was this your mother's room? -I'II have your Iuggage brought up.
You mean it's stiII your mother's room?
She's dead.
Don't hurry to unpack, there's IittIe eIse to do.
There are pIenty of servants.
Aunt Astrid!
Who's this?
That's a frightfuIIy wise egg.
An owI, I think.
You do obey your tutor, don't you, Jan?
Of course, aunt Astrid.
Who's this?
Who can that be?
With such a big mouth. And aIways Iaughing.
A magpie.
Horrid birds, aIways steaIing from others and Ieaving the nest.
Why doesn't Mummy write?
-No, wait. -Why can't I do it too?
No, you must be more sensibIe than me. CarefuI, so they don't notice.
First we knock the top off the egg.
Then they can't think.
Then...
Then we dig out the innards.
Then they can neither think, nor eat-
-nor drink any more.
Nor amuse themseIves any more.
They do far too much of that.
KiII them! KiII them!
Dear boy!
Let's not kiII them, there's something Ieft in them.
They're notjust sheIIs.
There's something in them we can't see, but it's there.
The most important of aII.
What?
You shouIdn't taIk about it, because then it vanishes.
If you don't taIk about it, how do you know...
There's nothing. They're aII empty.
So you don't Iike them, Bruno?
I'm gIad you have an opinion for once!
Whose IittIe doggie is that, then?
We'II give him a Iump of sugar.
DeIightfuI.
That wiII do.
There's aIways someone pawing me.
TaiIors, Iovers, undertakers...
They'II probabIy paw at me in my coffin!
They'II expect me to open my Iegs for the coffin Iid.
I'II be your coffin Iid.
You're certainIy wooden enough.
-I'II be gIad to see you dead. -The same to you.
-But I want you to suffer first. -I'm suffering now.
I'II bite your big mouth to pieces.
-I can crush you if I want. -Too Iate. It was done Iong ago.
You know what you are, my sweet? A cheap, vuIgar, useIess troIIop.
A rivaI! He's sharper than you, doesn't waste time taIking.
Dirty IittIe brat!
Today's maiI.
A card from Paris!
Greetings from Paris.
Paris!
-Give me a hand, Jan. -Look.
-What does she say? -Not much.
She's printed in big Ietters: ''Greetings from Paris''.
Not bad. Paris is a big city.
-What's it Iike? -Big houses...
Let's see...
First of aII...
No, you're in the way now...
Good girI.
Is this Paris?
It couId be anywhere.
-It Iooks Iike our house. -ExactIy.
Your mother couId be anywhere.
Let's set Iight to it aII.
Don't you think she'd Iike that?
-What is it you're checking? -How Iong it takes.
-What? -It's just a game of mine.
-That you pIay with your guests? -UsuaIIy on my own.
No girIs aIIowed.
You wouIdn't understand.
I do understand one thing, you couId easiIy have it aII.
Stop.
Stop! You're mad! Are you trying to kiII me?
What the heII is this? Let me out!
Have a nice time. Practice your butterfIy stroke!
Damn and bIast!
HaIIo! Nice of you to come!
Do you Iike this kind of party?
A cigarette? FiIthy weather, but it couId be worse.
How about some champagne?
Jump up behind, so we can drive home.
You can't marry him. He's mad. He tried to Iay me.
-The truth! -And then kiII me.
Leave, Mariana. Money's not everything. He'II kiII you.
That's aII he wants, to kiII and destroy.
Bravo! I didn't think you had it in you.
She Iooks good in your mother's dress.
The image of your mother. Hadn't you seen the Iikeness?
Take my mother's dress off.
WiII you take it off, pIease?!
Don't think you're the onIy one who can pIay games.
You broke it!
Jan...
Don't be such a baby. Must you break everything you touch?
I don't want you here!
You siIIy-biIIy!
I can't bear to Iook at you. Go away.
MeIissa said you tried to seduce her.
I've tried to heIp you.
But I can't even heIp myseIf.
Let's canceI the wedding.
Go now. PIease.
I think aII this is making me iII.
Jan, what is it?
It's my duty to Iook after my poor darIing.
It's your duty to Iisten to me, Irene.
He's iII, but you won't admit it. You'd rather Iet him die.
-He's no more iII than you are. -Then he's worse than I thought.
Try to stand up now, darIing.
Good IittIe boy, proving me right.
Now you can move into my room and Iet Mummy have you to herseIf.
What are you doing?
Nothing.
If you're bored, you can come to me.
Let me do that.
The girIs wiII Iike you when you grow up.
Be tender and warm and a bit brutaI.
If you can find someone worthy. Let them make an effort.
Let them beg for it.
Up with your arms.
What a nice IittIe thing you have. Do you know what that's good for?
Read me something.
Is that what you want to beIieve in?
Why not beIieve in your heavenIy mother instead?
''By night on my bed''-
-''I sought him whom my souI Ioveth.''
''I sought him, but I found him not.''
''I wiII rise now and go about the city''-
-''in the streets and in the broad ways.''
''I wiII seek him whom my souI Ioveth:''
''I sought him, but I found him not.''
''The watchmen that go about the city found me.''
''To whom I said: Saw ye him whom my souI Ioveth?''
I suppose this was Astrid's idea?!
You horror! Doing it under the quiIt!
Have they taught you it's dirty? Innocent chiIdren!
They're swine, making everything dirty!
PaIefaces who squeeze a few drops out and turn over and go to sIeep.
AIways the same, aIways in the dark.
Carry on. Do it whiIe I watch!
He is divine, is he not?
And the divine never speak.
Very practicaI. But he's hardIy from heaven.
From heII, more IikeIy. Straight from BerIin.
He was third in a Mr Europe contest.
Execution squad ready. BIindfoId the prisoner.
Music!
-Are you going to shoot him? -Sex is no good without the kiII.
Achtung! Squad: forward march.
Fire!
That was a reaI pick-up, darIing. One more time.
TeIephone. It's the doctor.
You're the one who's iII. TaIk to him.
He won't taIk to me.
HaIIo?
Yes...
Right.
I see.
WeII, that's good. Thanks. Goodbye.
Worse than I thought. Nothing wrong with you at aII.
I'm not iII anymore. Not now.
What are you doing?
You said I ought to do something. I Iike changing things around.
PIease put it back.
No.
-Don't be chiIdish. -I don't mind being chiIdish-
-if it heIps you grow up and take responsibiIity.
-I'm dying here. -I'm kiIIing you, I suppose.
No. You're dying too.
It's this house. I can't breathe. Nor can you.
It's as dead as your friends.
It's as dead as...your mother.
Friends, we are gathered in remembrance of a Ioved one-
-whom we shaII Iong remember.
Someone who gave the worId as much as she took.
That is to say, nothing at aII.
She was generous in her suspicion towards others, but mostIy herseIf.
She had nothing to say, but compIained bitterIy.
Now she is dead. May she rest in peace.
Are you not going to take Ieave of your mother?
IRENE KILLED IN CAR CRASH BRUNO
''I am the resurrection and the Iife.''
''Whosoever beIieveth in me, though he were dead, yet shaII he Iive.''
It's better to taIk about it.
TeII me exactIy how it was.
PIease, Jan.
She didn't die here. It was somewhere in the South.
It was a game. Astrid and I made a joke of it aII.
It was our way of surviving.
Nothing's changed. But nowadays I don't Iaugh.
That'II be fine. Thanks.
Open it.
Nothing at aII.
Do you know what my mother said?
''The day you decide to become a man, I shaII come back.''
-Have you decided on it, then? -No, but you have. And I'm gIad.
But it's painfuI.
-Don't think I'II take responsibiIity. -No, you won't take responsibiIity.
Not even for getting married.
If you couId Iearn to take respons- ibiIity, maybe you'd Iaugh again.
Fine. Send for a parson. Pour the champagne.
No, not quite yet.
A few thing must be thrown out before I make promises in church.
-Do you beIieve in that? -SufficientIy.
Do you beIieve in me?
Someone has to be the resurrection and the Iife.
What about this, then?
This Iooks oId. Can't we pIay it?
Go ahead.
''A sad Iove song''...
-I'd Iike to marry you. -Dearest boy!
I want to be a hundred first. But you do have good taste.
-I thought you were a hundred. -No, no.
You'II not have me doddering around here that Iong. It's aII yours now.
-I don't want it. -Your fine friends wouIdn't Iike-
-to hear you say that. -They can have it.
I don't want it.
-Perhaps you'd Iike to have it? -No, I don't want it either.
Why can't peopIe do as they Iike? Mummy didn't Iike it here either.
She aIways went away.
-Why do I have to stay? -Yes, why, oh why?
I think you ought to give it aII away.
Dearest boy.
Do you Iove me just a IittIe?
Do you want company?
Make room then.
I know what you're after, you fat Iouse.
I just came to tuck him in. I'm his new dad.
He's aIready tucked in. And I'm his new mum.
Sure. That hardIy Iooks Iike motherIy Iove to me.
I'm here to protect him from thieves and scoundreIs.
-Do you want to wake him up? -Then he'II see how kind I am.
I have some sweets for him...
-I know who's going to have those! -DarIing, don't be Iike that.
I've got a tummyache and I'm tired. It's not fair.
-There's enough for us both. -Enough of what?
-You know exactIy what I mean. -Do you mean Iove?
If that's your word for money, there's enough for two.
What are you doing here?!
TeIIing him a bedtime story, aunt Astrid.
Singing him a IuIIaby, aunt Astrid.
I'II see to her.
-The oId girI's dotty. -Dotty!
They're taking me away now.
You'II have to find someone eIse to heIp you.
Find someone eIse.
Come now, my darIing.
-The first time's awfuI. -It gets better over the years.
-Grit your teeth and shut your eyes. -Don't be siIIy, she's no ***.
We haven't had one of those around for over 40 years!
Jan's mother wouIdn't aIIow it.
DarIing, beIieve me. Every day, every minute, I fight to find myseIf.
My mother and Astrid were tough on me, but taught me that truth-
-is the onIy thing to Iive and die for. It's worth purgatory.
OnIy then can you share Iife with someone you Iove.
Love me.
I'm trying to. But something's stopping me.
-Truth, perhaps. -No, the Iies.
AII the Iies in this house.
-Love me. -I want to, but can't.
DarIing...
The IittIe bird feII off his perch...
If I speak sIowIy, can you understand?
ReaIIy sIowIy.
You can't fight this aIone. Did you hear?
-Yes, aunt Astrid. -I have more to say.
Try to remember it when you wake up.
Someone must make you stop.
You won't find the truth in a bottIe of brandy.
You must get free in order to find it.
If you can't free yourseIf someone eIse must do it for you.
Not bad at aII.
-What we need now is a party. -A party?
A finaI party.
The biggest.
The best.
The Iast brandy bottIes in the history of mankind.
Roffe! Bring the dynamometer up.
-Haven't we met before? -Yes, I happen to be your wife.
Funny. That was so Iong ago.
-What is going on here? -God knows. I hate surprises.
-They're making a TV fiIm. -To show the masses how we Iive.
So exciting. I'II have to wave to myseIf.
You've done it aII your Iife, so why not now?
-Am I your friend? -No. HardIy.
-But I Iike you. -What's the big secret?
-None. We're bIowing the house up. -Oh, is that aII?
-I think he means it. -No, no-one ever means anything.
What did he say?
Everyone happy?
-She asks such innocent questions. -I hope I do.
-Must we mix with workers? -We're bIowing up the house.
-I never thought they'd dare. -Jan dares.
This is when the fun starts.
Ladies and gentIemen!
The curtain wiII soon rise on the Iast gaIa performance.
This house is a bit too oId.
It's suffering from anaemia and cIogged arteries.
It doesn't want to Iive any Ionger so I thought I'd give it a hand-
-and bIow the whoIe bIoody thing up.
This is no joke, I assure you.
Most peopIe onIy wake up on their deathbed. That's a bit Iate.
Oh yes, she's with me on this.
She beIieves in the resurrection. I needn't expIain more.
The show can begin! It'II be weII worthing watching.
When the signaI is given, the ogres burst-
-and the cesspooI empties.
In five minutes.
The tapestry! French 1 8th century.
Start the car. I'II pass them to you.
I Iiked it aII the same.
It had got too easy-going.
-And it wasn't ours anyway. -Now we have none at aII.
There's aIways the Iand.
Come and heIp me, I've more Ieft.
You're not getting off that IightIy. It's not over yet.
Idiot.
-AII set? -Yes.
Get a move on!
Ready, boys!
Strike up the nationaI anthem!