Tip:
Highlight text to annotate it
X
(John H.) OH, THE WEATHER OUTSIDE IS FRIGHTFUL,
BUT THE WIPEOUTS ARE SO DELIGHTFUL.
I AM LORD OF THE BALLS!
(roars)
(man) OH, MY GOD!
(woman) AAH!
WITH AN ALL-NEW OBSTACLE COURSE THAT WILL SNOWBLOW YOU AWAY.
I'M SO EXCITED AND SCARED AT THE SAME TIME!
24 WINDCHILLED WARRIORS ARE ABOUT TO GO HEAD-TO-HEAD
IN A FRIGID FREE-FOR-ALL FOR $50,000.
OH, MY GOD. NO WAY. YOU GOTTA BE KIDDING ME!
WE'LL HAVE AN AVALANCHE OF FALLS...
OH!
SHIVERING SPILLS...
UHH!
AND BITTER-COLD BLUNDERS.
ONLY THREE WILL ADVANCE TO FACE THE FREEZING TEMPERATURES
OF OUR MOST CHALLENGING OBSTACLE COURSE OF ALL--
OUR WINTER WIPEOUT ZONE.
THE EPIC COMPETITION BEGINS NOW.
ONE WILL BECOME A CHAMPION,
BUT ALL WILL...
WIPEOUT.
(woman) THIS TOTALLY LOOKS DIFFERENT THAN THE VIDEO GAME!
HELLO, AMERICA, AND WELCOME TO WINTER "WIPEOUT."
I'M JOHN ANDERSON, HERE AS ALWAYS WITH JOHN HENSON.
AND, UH... IS YOUR CHILD SUPPOSED TO BE HERE?
NOT UNLESS HE LEARNED HOW TO DRIVE.
I WAS REFERRING TO THE BABY BACKPACK.
(scoffs) OKAY, FIRST OF ALL, IT'S A BABY FRONTPACK.
SECOND OF ALL, IT'S AWESOME.
AND THIRD OF ALL, IT'S SUPPOSED TO BE HOLDING SMALLSY.
THIS IS DAY TWO OF OUR BIG BROTHERS AND SMALL BALLSYs
MM-HMM.
BUT WHEN I WOKE UP THIS MORNING,
THERE WAS NOTHING IN HERE BUT A BUNCH OF CANDY WRAPPERS
AND AN EMPTY BOTTLE OF COOKING SHERRY.
THAT IS UNFORTUNATE. I HOPE YOU LOCATE HIM SOON.
UH, RIGHT NOW, HOWEVER, WE HAVE 24 PEOPLE OF LEGAL AGE
READY TO TAKE ON OUR SNOW-COVERED COURSE
FOR THEIR CHANCE AT $50,000.
FIRST UP, THE CHALLENGE OF OUR WONDERFUL WINTERY QUALIFIER,
AND IT STARTS TODAY WITH THE SKI LAUNCH.
CAREFUL. YOU MIGHT LOSE YOUR LAUNCH.
THEN BURIED UNDER THE SNOW IS A SKI BOOT.
LIKE ALL SKI BOOTS, IT'LL MAKE YOU WALK FUNNY.
FROM THERE, IT'S UP TO THE BIG BALLS.
CAPTURE THE PENGUIN OFF THE FOURTH BALL--
(chirps)
NEXT, CONTESTANTS CONFRONT A GENTLE SNOWFALL.
IT'S NO SNOW ANGEL.
AND FINALLY, IT'S A FREEZING TRIP TO THE ARCTIC CIRCLE,
WITH AN AUTHENTIC ESKIMO VILLAGE.
HEY, THAT'S NO ESKIMO! THAT'S SMALLSY!
OH, DON'T WAKE HIM, JOHN.
HE'LL JUST START CHEWING ON MY SHOES AGAIN.
I WILL DO MY BEST.
CAN'T MAKE ANY PROMISES FOR THE 24 MEN AND WOMEN
ALL RIGHT,
LET'S GO TO VANESSA LACHEY AND SEE WHO'S FIRST.
RIGHT NOW ON DECK, WE HAVE KATIE HELMUTH.
KATIE GAGA IS GONNA SHOW THOSE RED BALLS HER POKER FACE!
KATIE GAGA NOT AFRAID, JOHN.
SHE WAS BORN THAT WAY.
AH, IT'S PERFECT. KATIE HELMUTH IS A LADY GAGA IMPERSONATOR.
OH, WELL, CAN SHE DO LINDSEY VONN?
AH!
OH, HO HO!
OHH!
AAH!
I THINK I SPOTTED HER TELL.
AAH! OH!
KATIE GAGA NOW ON TO THE SKI BOOT,
WHERE HER 15-INCH PLATFORMS ARE NO MATCH
FOR OUR 8-FOOT PLATFORM...
AAH! AAH! NO!
OHH, HO HO!
JOHN, I THINK THAT WRINKLED
HER OUTFIT MADE OF CHIPPED HAM AND LIVE BEES.
AAH!
NO!
KATIE GAGA GETTING AN EYEFUL OF OUR MONSTER BALLS,
WHERE SHE CAN PUT HER MEAT SUIT UP AGAINST A PENGUIN SUIT
(chirps)
BIG BALLS!
IS HER POKER FACE HIDING FOUR OF A KIND?
(squawks)
OH, HO HO!
HEY, 500 BUCKS FOR KATIE GAGA.
I HAVEN'T SEEN A PENGUIN MASSACRE THAT BAD
SINCE DANNY DeVITO IN "BATMAN."
(squawks)
WOW. I THOUGHT SHE WAS SUPPOSED TO LIKE ANIMALS.
OH, MAN!
KATIE GAGA SITTING ATOP THE SNOWFALL,
AAH!
RAH, RAH, ROMA--OW!
MM!
WOW! THAT'LL LEAVE A COMPACT DISC.
IT'S CERTAINLY AN ORIGINAL MOVE.
YOU'RE RIGHT. SHE DIDN'T STEAL THAT FROM MADONNA.
(slo-mo voice) AAH!
THAT ONE HURT!
WELL, KATIE GAGA CAN PUT A LITTLE ICE ON IT
(groans)
HELLO!
HE'S YOUR NUMBER ONE FAN.
THIS IS SO EXCITING! (chuckles nervously)
OH, BOY. OH. HEH. OH, UH, THAT FEELS FUNNY.
UH-OH. (chuckling nervously)
COME ON, CALM DOWN. WOW. HE DOES NOT GET OUT OF THE IGLOO MUCH.
OH, BOY.
OOH, HO HO!
CHILI!
YEAH, KATIE GAGA, GARY'S KNOWN FOR HIS ESKIMO CHILI...
MADE WITH REAL ESKIMO.
KATIE GAGA INCHING TOWARDS THE HOWIE MANDEL OF POLAR BEARS.
(grumbles)
HEY, POLAR BEAR.
SHE'LL BE FINE AS LONG AS SHE DOESN'T TOUCH IT.
UH-OH.
(polar bear growling, Smallsy snoring)
OHH!
AH, THAT LITTLE SCAMP CAN SLEEP THROUGH ANYHOW.
KATIE GAGA SLIDES OVER,
BUT I WOULD ADVISE AVOIDING THE BEAR'S FOOD SUPPLIES.
UHH! AH!
AH! GO FISH.
(growls) HEY.
KATIE GAGA--SHE'S THE REAL DEAL, HOWEVER,
SETTING A GREAT OPENING TIME-- 3 MINUTES AND 10 SECONDS.
I'M GONNA DIE. OHH!
WHOO!
MAYBE HE'LL HAVE BETTER LUCK--
I DIDN'T WAX THEM, JOHN.
YEAH, NOT WHAT I MEANT.
OH, BOY.
MM!
I REALLY THOUGHT HE HAD IT WHEN HE FLAPPED HIS ARMS, JOHN.
WORKS SO WELL IN CARTOONS.
YEAH, THAT WENT DOWNHILL FAST.
VANESSA, WHAT'S THIS GUY'S SKILL SET?
ANYTHING FUNKY? LIKE, ARE YOU DOUBLE-JOINTED?
CAN YOU SING? CAN YOU DANCE? DO YOU HAVE CRAZY VOICES?
UM, I DO HAVE CRAZY VOICES.
I HAVE A PERSON LIVING IN MY HEAD NAMED LEONARD.
(cuckoo clock chimes)
ALL RIGHT.
SO... WHAT DOES LEONARD THINK ABOUT THE SHOW?
(goofy voice) LEONARD LOVES THIS SHOW.
UM, HE THINKS IT'S GONNA BE A FUN TIME TODAY.
WHAT KIND OF SKILLS DO YOU HAVE?
LEONARD, NOT CHRIS.
(goofy voice) I'M THE BRAINS OF THIS SITUATION.
OF COURSE.
(John H.) ALL RIGHT, LEONARD, BACK IN THE HEAD.
(John A.) WOW, 2-FOR-1! I LOVE IT.
A COUPLED ENTRY HEADED TO THE BIG BALLS.
(normal voice) WHOO! THAT PENGUIN'S GOING DOWN!
PHEW! IT'S CHRIS.
(goofy voice) THAT PENGUIN'S GOING DOWN!
OH, NO. IT'S LEONARD.
AAH!
OHH, HO!
OH, YOU'D THINK ONE OF HIS VOICES
WOULD TELL HIM TO KEEP HIS LEGS CLOSED.
OH, MY GOD!
UP AHEAD, EXPLORING THE ARCTIC CIRCLE
AAH!
AH! GARY JUST TOSSED HER INTO THE CHILI.
I HATE CHILI, AND I'M INDIAN.
I CAN'T TAKE SPICES.
OOH! WELL, THAT OUGHTA COOL YOU OFF.
WOW, THESE ESKIMOS ARE DEADLY WITH A SNOWBALL.
NO!
PRETTY GOOD HOSE ON THAT GAL.
YEAH, TOO BAD FOR THE CONTESTANTS,
BUT GREAT FOR THE COMPANY SOFTBALL TEAM.
EAT IT, LADIES OF "THE VIEW"!
OH, HO!
THAT CHILI'S NASTY.
HEY, YOU'RE THE ONE WHO DOUBLE-DIPPED.
YO, BRO.
THINK ABOUT HOW THAT GERMOPHOBIC POLAR BEAR FEELS.
AAH! AAH!
ALISHA FLIPS OVER.
OH, HO! VANESSA WITH ANOTHER STRIKE.
D'OH!
AND GOOSED BY THE FISH!
GOOSE. FISH. I GET IT. (laughs)
PARTY TIME, BABY!
WHOO!
WHAT'S UP, BABY?
BECAUSE THIS IS WEDDING SINGER RICKY LaCORTE.
HEY, I LOVE WEDDING SINGERS!
THE COVER SONGS, THE SKINNY TIES...
EVERYBODY, MAKE SOME NOISE!
THE WAY THEY GET YOU SO EXCITED THAT YOU DON'T EVEN CARE
THAT THE BRIDE WAS YOUR GIRLFRIEND FOR FIVE YEARS
BEFORE SHE STARTED CHEATING ON YOU WITH THE GROOM.
(John A.) TOO PERSONAL? YOU OKAY?
BETTER THAN THIS GUY.
AH!
HE THREW HIS LEGS IN THE AIR LIKE HE JUST DIDN'T CARE, JOHN.
OOH!
NOW HE'LL BE ABLE TO SING ALL THE LADY PARTS.
OH! NOW GETTING A PAT ON THE BACK AT THE SKI BOOT
IS 27 YEAR OLD ERIN BENNETT.
AAH!
OHH! AND ANOTHER SHOT TO THE BACK.
SHE'S GONNA HAVE SOME SERIOUS SWELLING.
AAH! UGH!
AAH! HOLY COW! GET HER AN ICE PACK, STAT!
ACTUALLY, SHE MEANT TO DO THAT.
SHE LIKES TO POP OUT HER SHOULDER BLADES,
MAKE HERSELF LOOK LIKE A PTERODACTYL.
(Vanessa) CAN YOU MAKE THE PTERODACTYL SOUNDS?
(laughs)
(John H.) YEAH, I KINDA WISH I COULD UNSEE THAT.
BUT THOSE PTERODACTYL WINGS COULD HELP HER ON THE BIG BALLS.
I'M NOT SURE THIS IS ENTIRELY FAIR, JOHN,
BUT SHE'S GOT A GIFT.
(clank)
OH, HO!
OH, LIKE ICARUS, SHE DARED SAIL TOO HIGH, JOHN...
OH! (screeches)
AND TRIPPED ON HER TINY LITTLE PTERODACTYL FEET.
IS SHE MAKING PTERODACTYL SNOW ANGELS NOW?
(screeches)
DO YOU KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS?
YOU WISH!
IT'S MAN VERSUS ANIMAL.
GLOBAL WARMING UPSETS THE DELICATE BALANCE OF NATURE.
OH, HO!
WELL, HE DOES SEEM HOSTILE.
I THOUGHT THAT WAS JUST FROM BEING TOUCHED.
OH, HO HO!
OHH!
CLEARLY HE'S NERVOUS.
YOU MELT THE POLAR ICE CAPS,
AND YOU RELEASE PREHISTORIC BEASTS.
AAH!
YABBA DABBA...
D'OH!
SERIOUSLY? THAWED-OUT DINOSAURS?
AH!
IT'S SCIENCE, JOHN.
THEY CAN'T PUT IT ON THE INTERNET IF IT ISN'T TRUE.
HOW ELSE DO YOU EXPLAIN MOTIVATOR-SAURUS REX?
BET SHE'LL RECYCLE NOW.
AAH!
UH-OH, SHE'S EXTINCT.
OH, HO HO HO! MAN!
AND WHAT ABOUT THE GIANT CROCODILE
(screeches)
OH, MY GOD.
(snarls)
AAH!
ED'S BAIT AND TACKLE AND COMMUNITY COLLEGE. WHY?
SEE YOU LATER, ALLIGATOR!
(crunch)
THERE'S BRANDI BERG. WATCH OUT!
OH, WHAT THE HECK IS THAT? AAH!
OH, HO! WOW!
(groaning)
ARE YOU DONE NOW, JOHN?
AAH! UHH!
(burps)
NOW COMING UP TO THE SKI BOOT IS AIMEE REILLY.
WHOO! I'M CRAZY!
WELL, MOST OF OUR CONTESTANTS ARE.
OHH!
OHH, HO!
WELL, JOHN, AIMEE SAID SHE'S KNOWN FOR BEING WILD AND CRAZY,
(train whistle blows)
WHAT'S, LIKE, THE CRAZIEST THING THAT YOU'VE DONE?
OH. UH, I HAVE A... GOOD ONE.
HAVE YOU EVER TRIED
EATING A PEANUT BUTTER SANDWICH WITH NO MILK?
HAVE YOU EVER DONE THAT?
I DON'T--I'M CONFUSED. ARE THERE LIVE ROACHES ON THE SANDWICH?
YOU REALLY NEED THE MILK TO WASH IT DOWN.
THAT, TOO.
(John H.) WHAT ARE THE CHANCES THIS STORY ENDS
IN A FISTFIGHT WITH TWO NUNS, A HIGH-SPEED CHASE,
(John A.) I DON'T KNOW. 2%?
BUT COMING ON "WIPEOUT" IS ACTUALLY PRETTY WILD AND CRAZY.
WELL, THAT WILD AND CRAZY GAL IS NOW ON A 40-FEET SLIDE
AAH!
AND NO MILK!
OH, HO HO HO!
OHH! SORRY, AIMEE.
OH, THE CRAZY'S GETTING PRETTY THICK OUT HERE.
I THINK NOW'S A GOOD TIME FOR A BREAK.
THAT KINDA HURT.
WHATCHA GOT? OH, PEANUT BUTTER SANDWICH, HUH?
YEAH, WITH NO MILK. WHAT'S SO CRAZY ABOUT THAT?
WAIT FOR IT.
HERE IT COMES.
WHAT'S THE FOURTH LARGEST CITY IN MINNESOTA?
(mouth full) DULUTH.
DULUTH. DULUTH!
NO! ANDERSON, I CAN'T OPEN MY MOUTH!
I'M SORRY. CAN'T OPEN YOUR MOUTH?
NO!
YES. SO I WILL ENJOY THE SWEET SOUNDS OF SILENCE
WHILE YOU ENJOY THESE COMMERCIALS.
UHH!
AAH! OH!
WHOO! AAH!
MAYBE SOMEBODY COULD GET HIM SOME MILK, HUH?
(chuckles)
♪♪♪
WE ARE BACK ON WINTER "WIPEOUT."
THANKS SO MUCH FOR STICKING AROUND WITH US.
YEAH, AND IF YOU'RE JUST TUNING IN, WELCOME FOR THE FIRST TIME.
MM-HMM. YEP.
BUT HERE'S A QUICK RECAP.
UH... UH, PEOPLE FELL DOWN.
THAT IS AN EXCELLENT SUMMATION.
YEAH, THANKS. FELT PRETTY GOOD ABOUT IT.
GLAD YOU ARE HAPPY, AND I HOPE WE CAN SAY THE SAME NOW
FOR OUR NEXT CONTESTANT.
JOE VAUX IS AT THE TOP OF THE COURSE.
ARMS LIKE THE EAGLE!
CLAWS LIKE THE MONKEY!
THE IMAGERY OF DARKNESS IS AT MY FINGERTIPS!
WOW, HE IS INTENSE!
(music warps)
DID HE SAY "PAINT"?
THAT'S UN-TENSE.
(thriller music playing)
WHOA! I CAN'T PUT MY FINGER ON IT,
BUT THERE'S SOMETHING ABOUT THIS I REALLY LIKE.
(Vanessa) THIS IS HENSON EATING ANDERSON?
I ACCENTED HIS TAIL, WHICH YOU DON'T SEE ON TV MUCH,
YEAH.
AND THEN POOR ANDERSON--
ARE YOU NOT A SPORTS FAN? OR WHAT'S GOING ON THERE?
YOU KNOW, PART OF THAT WAS
I JUST RAN OUT OF ROOM ON THE PAPER.
BUT RIGHT NOW, UH, YOU KNOW, HENSON'S, UH, THE BIG FISH.
(John H.) AND I GOT THE GILLS TO PROVE IT, JOHNNY.
JOHN, DO YOU THINK JOE'S ART WILL BE WORTH MORE POSTHUMOUSLY?
AAH!
OH, HO HO! VAN GOGHING, GOING, GONE!
HE BURIED HIS HEAD IN HIS SKI, JOHN.
THAT'S A COMMITMENT TO DARKNESS.
DARK ARTIST JOE-- A BRUSH WITH THE SKI BOOT.
OHH!
(whooshing)
WOW! SHOWING A LITTLE PERFORMANCE ART.
HE IS ON A ROLL, MAN. IF HE GRABS THAT PENGUIN,
HERE WE GO!
OHH! OH, HO HO HO!
OH, I LOVE IT WHEN LIFE IMITATES DARK ART.
(crunch)
HEY, IF YOU DON'T WANNA GET EATEN,
DON'T SWIM IN A POND
WITH A BIG FISH AND BIG BALLS AND BIG SNOWFLAKES.
AH!
OH, HO HO!
HEY! LOOK AT THE CUTE, LITTLE FLUFFY BUNNY TAIL.
I'M BEGINNING TO QUESTION HIS COMMITMENT TO DARK ARTS.
WELL, I THINK THE DARK ARTIST IS GONNA LOVE ARCTIC CIRCLE.
'CAUSE, YOU KNOW, IT'S DARK UP THERE, LIKE,
24 HOURS A DAY DURING WINTER.
OH, HO! AND EVEN DARKER WHEN YOU'RE HEAD IS DUNKED IN CHILI.
THIS CHILI SMELLS AWFUL.
ARE YOU SURE? IT COULD BE GARY.
(chuckles nervously)
OHH! OH!
OH! ON THE CANVAS! SLIDING...
WOW!
NICE RECOVERY! BUT I'D WATCH OUT FOR AQUATIC POP ART.
OHH!
(Vanessa) OH!
THAT IS NOT A PRETTY PICTURE.
THE DARK ARTIST WITH A TERRIFIC TIME OF...
WELL, IT'S GONNA BE UNDER 3 MINUTES.
MAMA MIA!
NOW SCALING THE SKI BOOT IS SONIA ALCAZAR...
OKAY, HERE WE GO, RED BALLS!
WHO APPARENTLY THINKS SHE'S AT THE BIG REALLY BALLS.
OVER THE RED BALLS! OVER THE RED BALLS!
JOHN, YOU THINK MAYBE WE SHOULD TELL HER
OVER THE RED BALLS!
NOW WHERE IS THE FUN IN THAT?
WHOOPS!
AFTER ALL, THE VERY BEST GIFTS ARE A SURPRISE.
AAH!
OH, HO HO! (singsongy) SURPRISE!
JOHN, PERHAPS 20 YEAR OLD LINDSAY WEGLARZ
WILL HAVE BETTER LUCK ON THE COURSE.
OH, MY GOD. I HATE SKIING.
COME ON, LINDSAY. THERE'S NOTHING TO IT.
IT'S ALL ABOUT FORM. YOU JUST LEAN FORWARD.
MM. AH!
OH, NO! OH, NO!
YA!
OH, HER BODY SAYS "AGONY,"
BUT HER FACE SAYS... YEAH, "AGONY."
THAT'S PRETTY MUCH AGONY.
WASN'T ALWAYS.
VANESSA SPOKE WITH LINDSAY PRECRASH-LANDING.
OHH! WHAT IN THE WORLD?!
LOOK HOW CUTE, WITH YOUR SOFT HAIR AND YOUR LITTLE BOW!
YOU'RE SO CUTE.
I STOLE THIS FROM THE GIRL I NANNY FOR.
YOU STOLE THAT FROM THE KID YOU NANNY FOR?
(gasps)
YOU WON'T NOTICE. SHE HAS PLENTY OF STUFF.
(John H.) WOW! WHEN SHE HOLDS UP A BABY,
SHE LITERALLY HOLDS UP A BABY.
AH, HA HA!
OH, HO HO!
THAT'S WHAT YOU GET FOR STEALING A KID'S CLOTHES.
AND SHE STOLE MY FAVORITE ROPE!
(rips)
I'M SORRY FOR STEALING THE HEADBAND.
WHAT ABOUT ROPE?
WELL, IT'S TOO LATE NOW, LINDSAY,
BECAUSE WITH THIS SKI BOOT...
OH, HO HO! "SORRY" JUST ISN'T ENOUGH.
OKAY.
IS NO ONE SAFE FROM THE AGONY OF DE FEET?
GET IT? "DE FEET"?
ESPECIALLY NOT THIS GUY.
(air horn blows)
YEAH, THAT'S BRIAN AYA,
WHO SAYS HE CHEWS GUM EVERYWHERE HE GOES.
HE EVEN SHOWED VANESSA HOW HE GETS 40 PIECES IN HIS MOUTH.
DON'T WORRY. THAT'LL DIGEST IN 7-10 YEARS.
SO HERE'S A GUY WITH 40 PIECES OF GUM IN HIS MOUTH,
AND HE'S AT THE SKI BOOT. ANYBODY KNOW THE HEIMLICH?
WHOO! AAH!
OHH, HO HO! OH, HO HO!
BALLSY KNOWS THE HEIMLICH, BUT HE'S HAD ZERO SAVES, JOHN.
VERY SHORT ARMS.
UH, NO ARMS. HANDS.
ALL RIGHT, WELL, GOOD LUCK WITH THAT, GUM GUY.
THAT'S MR. GUM TO YOU.
HIKING UP TO THE BIG BALLS NOW
IS 34-YEAR-OLD BARBER STEFAN ROBERTS.
GOING FOR THE PENGUIN CASH...
OHH!
THIS DUDE IS NOT GOING ANYWHERE NEAR MY HAIR.
DID HE REALLY THINK HE COULD REACH THE PENGUIN FROM THERE?
AAH!
I PREFER A BARBER WITH A CERTAIN AMOUNT OF DEPTH PERCEPTION.
BUT THAT IS A PRETTY SICK MULLET.
BACK AT THE SKI BOOT IS FRESHLY RINSED JASON WISHNOV.
HE'S A VOICE ACTOR.
(high-pitched voice) AAH! OH, MY!
D'OH!
WELL, HE'S GOT THE ROLE OF SCREAMING LITTLE GIRL DOWN PAT.
(high-pitched voice) AAH! OH, MY!
JUST A TIP, JOHN--
VANESSA DISCOVERED THE FULL RANGE OF HIS VOICE TALENTS.
(normal voice) THAT AIN'T NOTHING!
YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO DO BETTER THAN THAT!
I'M A VOICE ACTOR. I DO IT FOR ANIME AND VIDEO GAMES.
I TEND TO PLAY THE DEEPER, VILLAINOUS KINDA ROLES.
UH...
OKAY, SO GIVE ME YOUR VILLAINOUS VOICE.
(deep voice) IS THIS WHAT YOU WANT TO HEAR, VANESSA?
(John H.) HUH. DOESN'T HAVE THE SAME EFFECT
(Vanessa) UM, WHAT ELSE YOU GOT?
(normal voice) I HAVE A SMOOTH, DEBONAIR KINDA GUY.
OF COURSE, THIS IS WHAT I WOULD USE IF I WERE, YOU KNOW,
ASKING YOU OUT ON A DATE.
(John H.) HUH. I WONDER WHAT KIND
OF A VOICE VANESSA WOULD USE TO SAY NO.
(John A.) YEAH, HOPEFULLY THE VOICE ACTOR
WILL BE SLIGHTLY SMOOTHER ON THE BIG BALLS.
OH! HE LANDED THAT BETTER THAN ANY VOICE ACTING WORK.
YEAH, PERHAPS HE CAN GET
500 BUCKS WORTH OF VOICE ACTING LESSONS.
HEY, HE GOT IT! WELL DONE.
YEAH, BUT HE'LL PROBABLY HAVE TO STRETCH OUT THAT MONEY
FOR A WHILE. NOT A LOT OF VOICE ACTING WORK OUT THERE.
I KNOW!
YEAH!
GOOD LUCK!
OUR FINAL CONTESTANT OF THE DAY
IS 51 YEAR OLD SCUBA INSTRUCTOR TIM OSWALD.
(muffled voice) I GOT THIS.
WOW, HE'S GOT THE LOOKS
YOU CALLED IT.
UHH!
OHH!
NO, SEE "DIVER DOWN" IS WHAT SCUBA DIVERS SAY.
TIM HUNTS FOR SUNKEN TREASURE.
(firing)
ALL I FOUND WAS ALGAE AND A HUMAN SHIN.
AH!
OH, HO!
WOW!
OHH, HO HO!
TWO CONTESTANTS ALREADY BEAT HIM TO THE FIRST TINY TREASURE.
(clank)
IF TIM MAKES IT PAST THE CANNONBALLS...
OHH! HE'D BE THE THIRD PENGUIN-HOPPER TODAY.
DIVER DOWN!
WHOA, HO HO!
OH, WELL, TECHNICALLY,
IT WAS DIVER DOWN, DIVER UP, THEN DIVER DOWN.
WELL, THE TREASURE HUNTER'S AT THE SNOWFALL,
AND I KNOW WHICH DIRECTION HE'S HEADED.
YA, HA HA!
AH!
HEADFIRST INTO THE WATER.
JOHN, DO I SEE A TREASURE DOWN THERE?
NOPE. THAT'S THE DOOR TO MY PRIVATE UNDERWATER BATHROOM.
I MAKE SURE IT'S IN EVERY CONTRACT I SIGN.
OH, HO!
OHH, ANOTHER FLIP!
UHH!
HE DEFINITELY DOESN'T WANT TO TAKE HOME
(roaring)
OOH!
(Vanessa) COME ON, TIM!
YEAH!
YEAH!
YEAH!
AND HIS TREASURE HUNT'S GONNA CONTINUE IN ROUND TWO.
AND JOINING HIM, WE HAVE KATIE "GAGA" HELMUTH,
THE WEDDING SINGER RICKY LaCORTE,
AND THE DARK ARTIST JOE VAUX.
ALSO IN THE MIX, LINDSAY "THE CRADLE ROBBER" WEGLARZ,
"MR. GUM" BRIAN AYA, AND VOICE ACTOR JASON WISHNOV.
STICK AROUND
AAH!
OUR CONTESTANTS.
♪♪♪
WELCOME BACK TO WINTER "WIPEOUT,"
WHERE OUR CONTESTANTS ARE BOLD IN THE COLD.
MM-HMM.
I SHRINK FROM THE COLD.
BEFORE YOU ELABORATE, LET'S SEE WHO'S STILL IN THE GAME
AFTER OUR QUALIFIER SHRUNK THE FIELD FROM 24 TO 12.
WE HAVE KATIE "GAGA" HELMUTH,
LEONARD'S FRIEND CHRIS WHITHORN,
AND WILD AND CRAZY AIMEE REILLY.
(Aimee) I'M CRAZY!
ALSO STILL IN IT,
THERE IS LINDSAY "THE CRADLE ROBBER" WEGLARZ...
(baby cries)
THE BLIND BARBER STEFAN ROBERTS,
AND TREASURE HUNTER TIM OSWALD.
YOU KNOW, JOHNNY, THIS NEXT OBSTACLE HAS INSPIRED ME
TO TAKE UP A NEW WINTER HOBBY-- ICE FISHING.
OH, IT IS! AND REWARDING.
TURNS OUT I'M AN EXCELLENT ICE FISHERMAN.
MY FREEZER IS COMPLETELY FULL.
LOT OF FISH, HUH? WHAT KIND?
FISH? (chuckles) NO, JOHN, ICE.
YEAH. MM-HMM.
BOY, YOU'RE NOT REAL OUTDOORSY, ARE YA?
WELL, CLEAR--CLEARLY NOT YOUR CALIBER.
UH, WHY DON'T WE GO FISHING FOR SOME WIPEOUTS
ON OUR NEXT OBSTACLE, PAIN IN THE ICE?
TELL 'EM HOW IT WORKS, JOHNNY. I GOT NO IDEA.
THAT'S WHY I'M HERE.
CONTESTANTS BEGIN HIGH IN THE AIR,
IT'S HARD TO RELAX UP THERE.
THEY WILL BRAVE THE ARCTIC WATERS,
DROPPING THROUGH THE HOLE, ONTO THE FISHING POLE
FOR A SPIN OVER TO THE LANDING PLATFORM.
THEN IT'S A TRICKY BALANCING ACT ATOP THE LUMBER TUMBLER,
AN ICE-SLICKED WALK ACROSS THIS WOODEN PLANK TO THE OTHER SIDE.
THAT'S FOLLOWED BY
A PERILOUS TRIP ACROSS THE FROSTY FOOTBRIDGE,
FEATURING A RELENTLESS FREEZING RUSH FROM OUR ARCTIC WATERFALL.
FINALLY, THEY WILL MOVE IT OR LUGE IT
WITH A BELLY SLIDE DOWN THE SNOW CHUTE.
FIRST SIX COMPETITORS LANDING SAFELY ON THE FINISH PLATFORM
ADVANCE TO THE NEXT ROUND.
LOTS OF ICE OUT THERE, JOHNNY. I HOPE IT'S BITING.
WELL, WE'RE GONNA FIND OUT RIGHT NOW.
(cheering)
(Katie) I'M A CHICKEN, I'M A CHICKEN, I'M A CHICKEN.
I KNOW, KATIE GAGA.
WE ALL SAW YOU HATCH FROM AN EGG AT THE GRAMMYS.
WELL, SURE. YOU'RE IN THE PRESENCE OF GREATNESS.
(Lindsay) I'M NOT GOING FIRST. I'M SORRY. I'M REALLY SCARED.
CRADLE ROBBER JUST BEING A BABY.
TREASURE HUNTER TIM WONDERING
WHERE TO FIND THAT LUCRATIVE BOUNTY.
LET'S CHECK IN WITH VANESSA.
ALL RIGHT, GENTLEMEN, IT IS THAT TIME AGAIN.
(air horn blows)
(man) OH, MY GOD.
FIRST UP IS BLIND BARBER STEFAN.
OH, HO!
GIANT ROTATING BARS CAN BE SO HARD TO SEE.
AND WILD AND CRAZY AIMEE AIN'T SCARED.
EE! YA!
THAT WAS A FACE-PLANT.
YEAH, IT WAS. A CRAZY FACE-PLANT WITH NO MILK.
(man) SOMEBODY GO.
DARK ARTIST SUMMONS UP HIS COURAGE
AND PROBABLY A DEMON OR TWO.
HANGING ON AND DROPS AT THE PLATFORM.
I'M REALLY GROWING TO LIKE HIM, JOHN,
AND NOT JUST BECAUSE HE MADE ME IMMORTAL WITH ARTWORK.
OH, HO! DOWN INTO THE WATERCOLOR.
MR. GUM CLINGING TO THE FISHING POLE.
HE'S ON THE BUBBLE. CAN HE MAKE IT?
WHOO!
HE'S GOT THAT MINTY FRESH FEELING AT THE PLATFORM.
(Tim) OKAY, HERE WE GO.
TREASURE HUNTER GETTING INTO THE RACE.
AND VASCO DA GAMA, HE DISCOVERS THE PLATFORM.
VOICE ACTOR JASON'S LOOKING FOR A PAYCHECK.
(Jason) LET'S GO, GUYS! MOVE IT!
OHH, HO HO HO! IT IS A CATTLE CALL AT THE PLATFORM.
OH, MY GOD!
LANGUAGE!
NOT IN FRONT OF THE CHILDREN... THAT YOU'RE ROBBING.
OH, HO HO!
SOMEONE IS A BAD GIRL.
WHERE'S THE SNOWBALLS?
TREASURE HUNTER ON THE LOOKOUT FOR INCOMING ARTILLERY.
DARK ARTIST--A MILD RESEMBLANCE TO THE BLACK SWAN UP THERE.
OH, HO! VERY MOVING.
OOH!
WILD AND CRAZY AIMEE...
OH, MY GOD, MY CROTCH!
THAT'S GONNA PUT A KINK IN HER WILD AND CRAZY PLANS TONIGHT.
YA HA HA! AND FALLS OFF THE WILD SIDE.
AS FOR THE TRULY CRAZY,
LEONARD'S FRIEND CHRIS TUMBLING SOME LUMBER.
ALL RIGHT! IT'S A CROWD.
CHRIS AND LEONARD ALONE AT THE FOOTBRIDGE.
WHO'S HE TALKING TO,
THE GUY RIGHT THERE OR THE GUY IN HIS HEAD?
OH, HELL, NO.
DON'T USE THAT TONE WITH LEONARD.
TREASURE HUNTER TIM HOT ON THEIR TRAIL.
HE REMINDS ME OF
THE GREAT TREASURE HUNTER NICOLAS CAGE.
BLIND BARBER FINALLY FIGURING OUT THE POLE.
OH, HO HO!
YOU GO FIRST, MAN.
THOSE GUYS GIVING TREASURE HUNTER PERMISSION
TO BE THE FIRST EXPLORER.
(Aimee) ALL RIGHT, EVERYBODY, WATCH OUT.
DO NOT STAND IN THE WAY OF WILD AND CRAZY.
SHE SHOVES TREASURE HUNTER FORWARD.
OH, HO HO!
OHH!
WHOO!
TREASURE HUNTER BEATING HIS CHEST,
BUT STILL HAS TO MAKE IT DOWN THE SNOW CHUTE.
OHH! NOW HE'S SUNKEN TREASURE HUNTER
DARK ARTIST ON THE FOOTBRIDGE.
BY THE POWER OF GRAYSKULL, HE'S GOT IT!
COMING UP FROM BEHIND--MR. GUM AND VOICE ACTOR JASON.
HE IS HANGING ON FOR ALL HE'S WORTH.
AND WILD AND CRAZY MAKES IT A THREESOME.
OHH, HO HO!
THE BLIND BARBER WAY BEHIND,
TRYING TO FEEL, SMELL, OR TASTE HIS WAY PAST THE LUMBER TUMBLER.
UHH! AAH!
I HOPE HE WASN'T HOLDING SCISSORS.
DARK ARTIST DIVES ONTO THE SNOW CHUTE.
OHH!
HE TOOK THE CAMERA WITH HIM, AND YOU JUST KNOW
HE'S GONNA USE IT IN A WAY THE F.C.C. WOULDN'T APPROVE.
(Jason) I AIN'T GETTING LEFT BEHIND!
VOICE ACTOR JASON SLIDES TOWARDS THE CASTING COUCH.
AH! HIS WORDS WEREN'T ENOUGH.
(squawks)
SOUNDS LIKE TREASURE HUNTER TIM SWALLOWED HIS PARROT.
JACKPOT!
YEAH!
TIM GOT IT!
TREASURE HUNTER TIM THE FIRST TO MOVE ON...
AND HE IS CELEBRATING BY SHAKING HIS DOUBLOONS.
NEXT IN LINE TO JOIN HIM
ARE KATIE GAGA AND LEONARD'S FRIEND CHRIS.
YEAH, IT'S GETTING CROWDED OUT THERE, JOHN--
JUST LIKE IN CHRIS' HEAD.
KATIE GAGA IS ON,
AND LEONARD'S FRIEND TALKS HIMSELF INTO IT WAS WELL.
AHEAD OF THEM, VOICE ACTOR JASON WITH A CHANCE TO STEAL THE SHOW.
OH, HO HO!
OH, HE'LL NEVER GET AN AGENT THAT WAY.
THE DARK ARTIST SLIDING TO DAYLIGHT.
OHH!
USES THE DARK AND UNNATURAL POWERS TO HANG ON
AND TAKE THE SECOND SPOT.
OUR BLIND BARBER STILL STARING DOWN THE LUMBER TUMBLER.
AND HE MAKES IT INTO FOCUS.
STILL PLENTY OF ROOM FOR THE BOLD. FOUR SPOTS LEFT, JOHN.
AT THE SNOW CHUTE, KATIE GAGA READY TO GET COVERED IN BUBBLES.
AAH!
AH!
HERE'S A MATCH MADE IN HEAVEN--
A VOICE ACTOR GUY AND A GUY WHO HEARS VOICES.
I'VE HAD ENOUGH OF THIS!
MAYBE THEY CAN ALL ROOM TOGETHER, SAVE ON THE RENT.
VOICE ACTOR JASON MAKES A DESPERATE ATTEMPT...
AND GETS DISCOVERED!
(Vanessa) ALL RIGHT!
ONLY THREE SPOTS LEFT.
LEONARD'S FRIEND CHRIS SLIDES...
OUCH! A SHOT TO THE HEAD.
BOY, THAT'S THE LAST THING HE NEEDS.
WILD AND CRAZY AIMEE CHASING THE CRAZY, AND...
AND YEAH! OH, HO HO!
YEAH! OUR FIRST GIRL IS AIMEE.
FIRST GIRL AND POTENTIALLY OUR LAST
MR. GUM DOESN'T WANNA BLOW IT.
HA!
BUBBLICIOUS!
YEAH! WHOO!
WHO'S GONNA MAKE IT?
IF I KNEW, I COULD EARN A LIVING AS A PSYCHIC
AND I WOULDN'T NEED TO TALK TO YOU PEOPLE.
LEONARD'S FRIEND TRYING AGAIN. WILL THESE TWO FIGURE IT OUT?
OH, HO!
IT'S A TIGHT BATTLE FOR THE FINAL SPOT.
AT THE FOOTBRIDGE, THE BLIND BARBER MAKES IT ACROSS
WHOO!
THE NEXT ROUND IN HIS SIGHTS...
OH, HE'S READY! GO, STEFAN! GO!
HE'S... OH! KATIE GAGA PUSHES IN FRONT!
HE DIDN'T SEE THAT COMING. A SLICK MOVE.
SHE IS SLIDING INTO THE TOP SIX.
OH! KATIE GOT IT!
AND THE BLIND BARBER CLOSES SHOP.
TOP SIX, LADIES AND GENTLEMEN.
MOVING ON, JOHN, WE HAVE THE TREASURE HUNTER TIM OSWALD,
(thunderclap)
AND VOICE ACTOR JASON WISHNOV...
(Jason, deep voice) IS THIS WHAT YOU WANT TO HEAR?
WILD AND CRAZY AIMEE REILLY,
MR. GUM BRIAN AYA,
AND KATIE "GAGA" HELMUTH.
THESE SIX ARE THAT MUCH CLOSER TO $50,000.
THEY HAVE PLENTY MORE HOOPS TO FALL THROUGH
BEFORE WE SIGN THE CHECK.
(Joe) THIS IS SUCH A CRUEL EVENT!
♪♪♪
WE ARE BACK WITH MORE WINTER "WIPEOUT" JUST FOR YOU.
YEAH, AND I'M GLAD THERE'S MORE.
I WAS STARTING TO GET THE SHAKES.
I NEED MORE WIPEOUTS, AND PROBABLY A LATTE.
THERE ARE ONLY SIX CONTESTANTS LEFT,
AND THEY ARE ALL WILLING, JOHN, TO GIVE YOU YOUR FIX OF FALLS.
STILL IN IT, WE HAVE TREASURE HUNTER TIM OSWALD,
AHH!
VOICE ACTOR JASON WISHNOV,
(blows noisemaker)
MR. GUM BRIAN AYA,
AND KATIE "GAGA" HELMUTH.
(Katie) GAGA!
YOU KNOW, JOHN, A LOT OF PEOPLE MAKE FUN OF THE GAGA...
FOR THOSE OUTRAGEOUS OUTFITS.
BUT MEAT PRODUCTS ARE SURPRISINGLY WARM.
I HAVE ALL OF MY JACKETS MADE WITH A BOLOGNA LINING.
YOU SHOULD TRY IT.
NO.
ALL RIGHT. YOUR LOSS.
BY THE WAY, YOU WANT SOME BEEF JERKY?
MY PANTS ARE LINED WITH DRIED BEEF.
YOU KNOW WHAT? I FEEL CONFIDENT IN SAYING
THAT I WILL NEVER WANT FOOD FROM YOUR TROUSERS.
(mouth full) YOUR LOSS.
LET ME KNOW IF YOU CHANGE YOUR MIND.
PLENTY MORE WHERE THAT CAME FROM.
ALL RIGHT, LET'S GET DOWN TO OUR NEXT OBSTACLE--
THE COLDHEARTED SNAKE.
LOOK AT HIS BREATH, JOHN.
(rattles)
WELL, HERE'S HOW THIS ONE WORKS.
CONTESTANTS WILL FIRST FACE
AAH! YEAH!
MAKE THE PLATFORM, AND IT'S UP TO PLUMMET SUMMIT--
AAH!
WHEE!
THEN IT'S OVER TO THE SHIVERING TIMBERS.
BOUNCE OFF A GIANT SNOWBALL, MAKE IT TO THE FINISH PLATFORM,
WHOO-HOO!
HAVE MADE IT TO THE WIPEOUT...
"S-S-S-SONE."
"S-S-S-SONE," JOHN?
FIRST THREE TO GET PAST THE SNAKE
WILL ENTER THE WIPEOUT ZONE.
S-S-S-SONE.
YOU KNOW WHAT?
LET'S GO DOWN TO THE UNTIED TONGUE OF VANESSA LACEY.
S-S-S-SONE.
OKAY, GUYS, IT LOOKS LIKE THE CONTESTANTS ARE IN POSITION,
AND THE COLDHEARTED SNAKE IS READY TO STRIKE.
(exhales)
WHO WANTS TO-- WHO'S GONNA JUMP FIRST?
ANYONE WANT TO JUST SAY THEY'RE GONNA JUMP FIRST?
HEY!
KATIE GAGA, IF YOU ASK FIRST, YOU'RE GONNA END UP LAST.
(groans)
FOLLOWED BY THE VOICE ACTOR JASON WISHNOV.
OOH, HOO! RIGHT IN HIS TREASURE CHEST.
GOOD FOR HIM BECAUSE NORMALLY, YOU SEE--
OH!
THAT.
AH!
HOLY CRAP! AAH!
YEAH. YEAH, SOME OF THAT.
TREASURE HUNTER A GREAT CHANCE TO EXTEND HIS EARLY LEAD.
HE SHOULD HAVE AN ADVANTAGE HERE, JOHN.
MM-HMM.
ONLY THERE'S NO WATER AND IT'S MORE OF A SLIDE.
OHH, HO!
I SAID "SLIDE," MAN!
THAT'S A STROKE OF LUCK FOR DARK ARTIST.
TAKES ADVANTAGE OF HIS GOOD FORTUNE WITH AS ARTSY MOVE.
MR. GUM TRYING TO CHEW AWAY AT HIS LEAD,
MM-HMM.
(Vanessa) OOH!
OHH, HO HO!
DARK ARTIST ABOUT TO DRAW A LINE DOWN PLUMMET SUMMIT.
(Vanessa) YEAH!
WHOA!
WATCH OUT! WILD AND CRAZY AIMEE...
OH, HO HO!
DOING THE SAME THING OVER AND OVER
AND EXPECTING DIFFERENT RESULTS.
OH, GOD!
OH, HOO!
THE TREASURE HUNTER ACTUALLY SLIDING THIS TIME.
YEAH, A LITTLE MORE GENTLE WITH THE JUNK IN HIS TRUNK,
AND HE IS MAKING IT DOWN THE COLDHEARTED SNAKE.
RIGHT BEHIND AND READY TO SOAR IS KATIE GAGA.
OH, MY GOSH!
SHE'S ON IT...
(John H. and Vanessa) OHH!
SO I HAVE TO GO AGAIN?
SORRY. ONLY ACTUAL CELEBRITIES GET CELEBRITY TREATMENT.
(man) OH, GOD!
THE DARK ARTIST IS GOING AT IT AGAIN.
HE'S ON THE SNOWBALL.
JUST ONE GIANT LEAP LEFT.
YEAH!
THE DARK ARTIST FIRST TO QUALIFY FOR THE WIPEOUT ZONE.
AND LOOKING TO JOIN HIM IS MR. GUM.
OOH! UHH!
(Vanessa) COME ON! (laughs)
BREAK A GUMBALL.
COME ON. (laughs)
(high-pitched voice) DAMN!
KATIE GAGA COMING AROUND.
HERE WE GO. KATIE AGAIN. SHE'S A ROCK STAR.
IMPERSONATOR.
BUT KATIE GAGA TAKES CENTER STAGE.
(Aimee) YEAH, KATIE!
IS THE VOICE ACTOR SERIOUSLY TRYING TO NETWORK FROM UP THERE?
YOU KNOW, THE KEY TO NETWORKING
IS TO MAKE A GREAT FIRST IMPRESSION.
OOH!
(man) THAT ONE HURT.
AH, LOOK, IT'S WILD AND CRAZY AIMEE.
IS SHE SEEKING ASYLUM ON THAT OBSTACLE?
NO, APPARENTLY NOT.
MR. GUM AIMING FOR A BETTER RESULT THE SECOND TIME AROUND.
WILL HE GET IT?
OHH, HO!
HEY! DID HE JUST STICK HIS GUM UNDER THE OBSTACLE?
YOU KNOW, I GOTTA CLEAN THAT UP LATER!
JOHNNY, CALL ME CRAZY,
BUT IT LOOKS LIKE AIMEE IS COMING DOWN PLUMMET SUMMIT.
DOES THAT COUNT?
YEAH.
WELL, IF KATIE GAGA SAYS SO...
AND I THINK KATIE GAGA IS ABOUT TO TAKE CHARGE AGAIN.
HERE'S SHE GOES.
OHH!
THE TREASURE HUNTER RISING TO THE OCCASION.
OH! GONNA GIVE HIMSELF A LITTLE RUNNING ROOM.
OH!
OHH!
OHH!
LOOK OUT FROM ABOVE!
IT'S MR. GUM.
AND THIS TIME, HE STICKS THE LANDING.
YES!
HE'S GOT SPEARMINT. YES, HE DO.
HE'S GOT SPEARMINT. HOW ABOUT YOU?
(man) THERE YOU GO, BABY!
WHOO!
TWO MORE SPOTS.
BRIAN, VANESSA PROMISED TO KISS YOU IF YOU MAKE IT!
IS THAT RIGHT?
ALMOST POSITIVE THAT'S NOT TRUE.
JOHN, WOULD YOU BELIEVE DULL AND BORING WINS THE RACE?
WILD AND CRAZY AIMEE COMING FROM WAY BACK.
A WIPEOUT ZONE SPOT ONE DARING DIVE AWAY...
WOW!
CRAZY AIMEE ACTUALLY MADE IT! THAT'S NUTS.
ONLY ONE PRECIOUS WIPEOUT ZONE OPENING REMAINS.
JOHNNY, EVEN THE VOICE ACTOR'S GOT A SHOT.
I DON'T KNOW.
THAT MR. GUM IS CHOMPING AT THE BIT.
I GOT IT. I GOT IT.
THERE IS A SHOWDOWN COMING,
AND MR. GUM IS CREATING A WHOLE *** OF TENSION.
PATIENCE.
HE'S OFF AND HE'S...
I GOT IT!
YEAH, GOT IT.
HOW'D YOU DO IT?
HOW'D YOU DO IT? DID YOU JUST JUMP?
JUMP!
JUMP! JUMP!
FEEL THAT BALL!
COME ON, SHAKE THE BALL!
I CAN'T. HE'S ON THE BALL.
UH-OH! LOOKS LIKE GAGA DIDN'T GET TO THE TOP
WITHOUT KNOCKING A FEW PEOPLE DOWN, JOHNNY.
KNOCK HIM OFF. GO!
YOU CAN'T KNOCK ME OFF! I GOT IT!
MAYBE NOT HER, BUT KATIE GAGA HAS OTHERS TO DO HER DIRTY WORK.
GET HIM OFF. GET HIM OFF. GO. GO, GO! GO.
SHE'S TALKED THE VOICE ACTOR INTO IT.
ATTACKS FROM BEHIND!
OH, HO HO!
THAT WAS CRUEL!
UH-OH.
(Joe) GET OUT OF THERE, BRIAN!
GET OUT OF THERE!
MR. GUM FORCED TO MOVE.
OH, HO! NO!
JOHN, THE MEN SEDUCED AND RUINED BY THE POWER OF KATIE GAGA.
THE COAST IS NOW CLEAR FOR HER TO CLAIM VICTORY.
(Joe, high-pitched voice) COME ON, KATIE, YOU CAN DO IT!
HER MISCHIEVOUS PLOT A LEAP FROM COMPLETION.
OH, HO HO!
OHH!
(Aimee) THAT WAS STRAIGHT IN HER FACE.
(Joe) SHE WAS COMBING HER HAIR WITH HER TOES!
REALLY? ONLY A DARK ARTIST WOULD GO THERE.
(smack, crunch)
OH. NO, TECHNICALLY, HE'S RIGHT.
(Joe) OW!
WELL, WITH THE COLDHEARTED SNAKE AND SLY TEMPTRESS
BOTH OUT OF HIS WAY,
TREASURE HUNTER CAN NOW CLAIM THE FINAL SPOT.
SAFELY ON THE SNOWBALL.
(Joe and Aimee) YES! YES!
STILL VULNERABLE.
(Katie) KNOCK HIM OFF, DUDE.
HE KNOCKED YOU OFF.
OH, BOY. MR. GUM IS LIKE PUTTY IN HER HANDS, JOHNNY.
INCOMING!
(Joe) USE HIS HEAD!
OHH!
LOOK OUT! THIS IS SUCH A CRUEL EVENT!
MR. GUM HAS BEEN IN A LOT OF STICKY SITUATIONS BEFORE,
BUT I'M GUESSING HE NEVER IMAGINED THIS.
(Brian, slo-mo voice) OW!
NOW THAT IS SOME BURIED TREASURE.
AAH!
NOW MR. GUM BETTER HURRY,
BECAUSE THE MANIPULATIVE KATIE GAGA
IS PREPARED TO DO HER OWN DIRTY WORK.
(Joe) GET OUT OF THERE, BRIAN!
MR. GUM'S GOT TROUBLE ON TWO FRONTS.
FLINGING HIMSELF IN THE FINAL SPOT!
OHH! KATIE GAGA GOES DOWN!
ALMOST!
AND MR. GUM IT IS!
(Vanessa speaks indistinctly)
YEAH!
NO, IT'S NOT.
NO, DUDE, IT'S--
IF I DON'T MAKE IT NOW, IT'S OVER.
TOTALLY OVER.
YEAH. HE IS SO DRAMATIC.
HE FELL ON YOUR FACE!
OKAY, WAIT.
AH! DON'T DO THAT, VANESSA.
AAH!
(Joe) WHAT ARE YOU DOING?! USE HIS HEAD!
SO OUR FINALISTS ARE SET--
WILD AND CRAZY AIMEE REILLY,
MR. GUM BRIAN AYA,
AND THE DARK ARTIST JOE VAUX.
STICK AROUND
FOR THE CRAZIEST, DARKEST, GUMMIEST WIPEOUT ZONE EVER.
♪♪♪
WE ARE BACK ON WINTER "WIPEOUT"...
THAT'S RIGHT.
WE STARTED THIS BLUSTERY DAY WITH 24 HOPEFUL CONTESTANTS.
NOW WE'RE DOWN TO JUST THREE
STILL DUKING IT OUT FOR THAT $50,000 CHECK.
NEXT UP, THEY FACE DOWN THE FINAL CHALLENGE--
OUR WINTER WIPEOUT ZONE.
AND THIS STUNNER STARTS WITH A 7-STORY DROP
STRAIGHT DOWN KILLER LUGE.
FROM THERE, IT'S ON TO THE PSYCHEDELIC SNOW GLOBE,
WHERE CONTESTANTS MUST TAG THE CENTER
IN ORDER TO DROP THE EXIT PLATFORM.
NEXT, IT'S AN UPHILL BATTLE ON THE FROZEN FURY
TO MAKE IT TO THE OTHER SIDE.
AND FINALLY, ICED OVER.
NAVIGATE ACROSS THESE REVOLVING DIAMONDS TO THE FINISH PLATFORM.
TIME TO FIND OUT
WHICH OF THESE FINAL THREE WILL GO HOME AS OUR CHAMPION.
UP FIRST--WILD AND CRAZY AIMEE REILLY.
WHOO! WIPEOUT ZONE!
LET'S LOOK BACK AT HOW SHE GOT TO THE WIPEOUT ZONE.
I'M CRAZY!
AIMEE REILLY STARTED THE DAY CLAIMING TO BE WILD AND CRAZY...
SHOWING OFF SOME INSANE WIPEOUTS.
UHH! AAH!
OVERCOMING EXPECTATIONS,
SHE PULLED HERSELF TOGETHER ON PAIN IN THE ICE.
I'M CRAZY!
AND AFTER A WILD RIDE ON THE COLDHEARTED SNAKE,
SHE IS ON HER WAY TO THE WIPEOUT ZONE.
(man) OHH!
KILLER LUGE LOOKS AWFULLY IMPOSING.
WILD AND CRAZY AIMEE--
SHE'S GOTTA BE HALF-MAD TO SIT UP THERE.
OH. MY. GOD.
WHAT'S THE MATTER? NEVER DROPPED 7 STORIES AT 35 MILES PER HOUR
(beeping)
(beep)
AND WILD AND CRAZY GOES DOWN. ONLY ONE WAY OFF.
AAH!
WHOA, HO HO!
THAT'S WHAT'S KNOWN AS THE CALL OF THE WILD.
AAH!
ALMOST MORE OF A SHRIEK OF THE WILD, REALLY?.
WOW, THAT WAS QUITE A HIT.
REALLY A TOUGH LANDING.
PSYCHEDELIC SNOW GLOBE DOESN'T CARE.
STILL SHAKING OFF THE EFFECTS OF THAT WATER LANDING,
BUT SHE HAS MADE IT INTO THE GLOBE.
NICE FIRST MOVE, WORKING HER WAY TO THE CENTER.
THE BUTTON RELEASES THE EXIT PLATFORM.
REACHING AND JUST GETS A PIECE OF IT.
OH! GOT INTO THE ROTATION. A MEAN DOUBLE HIT.
DON'T THINK OF IT AS LOSING YOUR BALANCE, WILD AND CRAZY.
THINK OF IT AS FINDING YOUR IMBALANCE.
SO IT'S TWO ATTEMPTS, AT LEAST, ON THE GLOBE.
HER TIME ALREADY HEFTY-- PAST THE 5-MINUTE MARK.
SHE'S STAYING HIGH THIS TIME, EXIT PLATFORM IN PLACE.
AN EASY RIDE. HERE COMES THE DISMOUNT.
YES!
WILD AND CRAZY CAN MOVE UP TO THE FROZEN FURY.
THERE'S ICE UP HERE.
YEAH, IT GIVES YOU AN IDEA OF THE CONDITIONS TONIGHT.
IT IS BITTER COLD OUT.
OH, MY GOD. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
THAT IS A FREQUENT QUESTION.
PLATFORMS TILTED TO MATCH THE TEMPERATURE--
UHH!
OH! EARLY WIPEOUT, JOHN.
YEAH, THE FROZEN FURY DECLARING
UHH!
AND SHE TOOK A PLATFORM TO THE TEETH.
AND AS SHE FINISHES HER 18-FOOT CLIMB
BACK TO THAT ICE-SLICKED PLATFORM,
HER TIME TRIPS PAST 9 MINUTES.
FROZEN FURY STILL IN FRONT OF HER.
UHH! OH, MY GOD.
AIMEE CLEARLY FEELING THE FATIGUE
AFTER THOSE LONG COLD SWIMS.
SHE IS REALLY STRUGGLING TO GET OVER THOSE BARS.
YEAH, JOHN, THAT COLD HURTS.
EXHAUSTION THE ENEMY, BUT SHE KEEPS PUSHING FORWARD.
ONE MORE PLATFORM LEFT.
AIMEE JUST WILLING HERSELF OVER THAT BAR.
YEAH!
NOW ONLY ICED OVER REMAINS,
AS WILD AND CRAZY AIMS TO ESTABLISH
THE OPENING TIME TO BEAT.
WILD AND CRAZY GOING FOR IT.
AND LOOKING A LITTLE STARTLED.
OH, HO! MAN!
AND THAT QUICKLY HALTS THE PROGRESS ON THIS RUN.
YEAH, AIMEE LOSES HER GRIP,
AND WHAT FEW WITS SHE HAD LEFT, SHE GETS TOSSED INTO THE DRINK.
AND DOWN THERE, THAT SWIMMING YOU DON'T SEE
IS WHERE THE CLOCK REALLY TAKES A BEATING.
SECOND ATTEMPT NOW.
TIME ALREADY AT 14 MINUTES, 47 SECONDS.
UHH!
AIMEE IS RIGHT OUT ON THAT FIRST DIAMOND,
MAKE MAKING A JUMP FOR THE SECOND.
OH! GETS A FACE FULL OF PLATFORM THERE, BUT SHE IS UP
AND QUICKLY OVER TO THAT THIRD DIAMOND.
SHE HAS ONE MORE JUMP TO THE FINISH. OH!
WILD AND CRAZY AIMEE PULLING HERSELF UP.
PUTS UP A TIME OF 15 MINUTES, 5 SECONDS.
WHOO!
YEAH, HOPING TO BEAT THAT TIME--MR. GUM BRIAN AYA.
YEAH, LET'S DO THIS! ALL RIGHT! YEAH! I GOT THIS ONE!
WHOO! "WIPEOUT"!
MR. GUM BRIAN AYA PULLED OUT FROM THE PACK TODAY
WHEN HE EASILY COMPLETED OUR QUALIFIER.
UHH! AAH!
HIS BUBBLE ALMOST BURST AT PAIN IN THE ICE.
THEN HIS MINTY FRESH ATTITUDE
PUSHED HIM THROUGH THE COLDHEARTED SNAKE.
NOW HE'S FACING DOWN THE ULTIMATE STICKY SITUATION
IN THE WIPEOUT ZONE.
YEAH!
MR. GUM READY TO GO ATOP KILLER LUGE.
15 MINUTES, 5 SECONDS THE TIME TO BEAT.
LIGHTS, CAMERA, GRAVITY!
MR. GUM SHOVES OFF.
YEAH, AND THE PHYSICS OF FALLING ARE NOW IN CHARGE.
I LOVE YOU, MOM!
(laughs) YEAH. TAKE A LISTEN, JOHN.
IN THE MIDST OF A 80-FOOT DROP,
I LOVE YOU, MOM!
AND GIVES A SHOUT-OUT TO HIS MOM.
WHAT A GUY.
COME ON. I CAN DO IT.
REALLY? YOU CAN DO THE PSYCHEDELIC SNOW GLOBE
AND CHEW GUM AT THE SAME TIME?
OH, MY GOD! HOW DO YOU DO THIS?
NOT SURE THERE'S A MANUAL.
OH!
SO MUCH FOR HIGH EXPECTORATIONS.
MR. GUM GUMMED UP THAT ENTRY AND HAD NOTHING TO HOLD ON TO.
YEAH, BUT HE WANTS ANOTHER PIECE OF THIS THING, JOHNNY.
CLOCK SHOWS 4:20.
THIS WAY.
OH! TRYING SOMETHING A LITTLE DIFFERENT.
HE'S GOTTA MAKE IT DOWN TO THE CENTER AND TOUCH THE--
OH, HO!
OHH! WOW!
BRIAN SLIPS UP AGAIN...
AAH!
AND JUST GOES FLAILING INTO THAT BONE-CHILLING WATER.
I CAN DO THIS.
THIRD TRY. CLOCK APPROACHING 7 MINUTES.
GIVING THE GLOBE ANOTHER SHAKE.
STILL HASN'T GONE ANYWHERE NEAR THE CENTER BUTTON
TO RELEASE THAT EXIT PLATFORM.
OOH.
I HIT IT!
I GOT IT! I CAN DO IT!
ALL RIGHT, NOW HE'S GOTTA TRY AND RIDE--
OHH, MAN!
MR. GUM A LITTLE TOO CONFIDENT
AND JUST MISSED THAT STEP COMPLETELY.
THIS IS HIS FOURTH ATTEMPT
ON THE PSYCHEDELIC SNOW GLOBE, JOHN.
MIGHT BE A RECORD.
DOESN'T HAVE TO MESS WITH THAT CENTER ANYMORE,
WHICH IS NICE. JUST GET ON AND GET OFF.
MAKING SURE HE'S GOT BOTH FEET FIRMLY PLANTED.
WHOO! I DID IT!
THAT'S GOOD, BUT HE IS STILL FAR OFF THE LEADER'S PACE.
(laughs)
MY HANDS ARE FREEZING!
NOT JUST FIGHTING THE ELEMENTS, JOHN. HE IS FIGHTING THE CLOCK.
MR. GUM NOW LESS THAN 5 MINUTES TO FINISH THE ZONE.
YEP, AND FROZEN FURY--
NO! HE'S DOWN AGAIN!
YEAH, THAT COLD WEATHER IS STARTING TO AFFECT HIS REFLEXES
BECAUSE THAT WAS A CASE OF TOO LITTLE, TOO LATE.
YEAH, AND ATTEMPT NUMBER TWO,
AND MR. GUM HAS LESS THAN 2 MINUTES TO FINISH THE COURSE.
CLEVER HOP OVER THE BAR THERE.
MR. GUM MAY BE GETTING THE HANG OF THIS ONE.
AND HE BETTER, JOHNNY.
HE STILL HAS ONE OBSTACLE TO GO AND NO TIME FOR WIPEOUTS.
AAH!
LUNGS BURNING, MUSCLES ACHING.
HIS BODY REALLY GETTING PUSHED TO THE LIMIT HERE.
UP AND OVER. ONWARD HE GOES.
MR. GUM--HE CAN MAKE A GAME OUT OF THIS AFTER ALL.
HE COMPLETES THE FROZEN FURY.
DID IT.
(laughs)
BRIAN'S GOT LESS THAN 30 SECONDS TO CLEAR ICED OVER, JOHN.
READY TO TRANSITION FROM THAT FIRST TO SECOND DIAMOND.
AH! OVER!
MR. GUM JUST COULDN'T GET BOTH LEGS UP ONTO THAT DIAMOND,
AND LOST HIS BALANCE AND HIS CHANCE AT THE 50K.
(air horn blows)
THE SOUND OF THE HORN OFFICIALLY SOUNDS THE END FOR MR. GUM.
WILD AND CRAZY AIMEE REILLY REMAINS OUR LEADER.
BUT IS HER TIME OF 15 MINUTES, 5 SECONDS
GOOD ENOUGH TO HOLD UP AGAINST THE DARK ARTIST?
WE'LL FIND OUT FOR SURE RIGHT AFTER THIS.
♪♪♪
WELCOME BACK TO WINTER "WIPEOUT,"
AND SOMEBODY'S ABOUT TO GET PAID.
THAT'S RIGHT.
WE ARE JUST ONE RUN AWAY FROM HANDING OUT OUR $50,000 PRIZE.
WILD AND CRAZY AIMEE REILLY HOLDS THE LEAD
WITH A TIME OF 15:05.
LOOKING TO CHANGE THAT-- OUR FINAL COMPETITOR,
JOE VAUX, THE DARK ARTIST.
(mouth full) I'M READY. I CAN'T TALK, BUT I'M READY.
LET'S REVIEW HIS JOURNEY TO THE ZONE.
WHOO!
JOE VAUX, THE DARK ARTIST, CREEPED EVERYONE OUT
WITH HIS RUN ON THE QUALIFIER THIS MORNING.
HE SHOWED US HIS DIABOLICAL VISION ON PAIN IN THE ICE.
AND BROUGHT DARKNESS TO THE COLDHEARTED SNAKE.
NOW AFTER A LONG DAY OF WIPEOUTS,
HE'S HOPING TO COMPLETE HIS SINISTER MASTERPIECE
AAH! UHH!
KILLER LUGE OMINOUS-LOOKING FROM DOWN BELOW.
AND FAR WORSE FROM UP TOP.
TOTALLY NERVE-RACKING.
(beeping)
BRIGHT LIGHTS, DARK ARTIST.
AAH!
AAH!
TURN HIM LOOSE AND INTO THE NIGHT!
THE DARK ARTIST GOES FOR A RIDE DOWN KILLER LUGE,
OOH!
BEFORE ENTERING THE DARK WATERS OF THE WIPEOUT ZONE.
QUICKLY OUT OF THAT WATER AND UP THE LADDER.
PSYCHEDELIC SNOW GLOBE SPINNING.
RIGHT INTO IT.
UP ON ENTRY BUT UNDETERRED TO THE CENTER BUTTON.
(high-pitched laugh)
UH-OH!
OH, NO!
OH, THE DARK ARTIST NO MATCH
FOR THE PSYCHEDELIC SNOW GLOBE, JOHNNY.
AAH!
HE BETTER GET HIMSELF READY FOR ROUND TWO.
EVERYBODY TAKING MULTIPLE TRIES ON THE GLOBE TONIGHT.
3 MINUTES GONE BY.
JOE STAYING HIGH AS THE EXIT PLATFORM IS ALREADY DOWN
AND IN THE READY POSITION.
JUMPS...
HEY! FINE THIS TIME.
OOH, HE'S KINDA BOOKING IT.
I'LL SAY. HE IS OPENING UP A LEAD
ON THE PACE SET BY WILD AND CRAZY.
AT THE FROZEN FURY NOW.
OHH! WOW.
NO. DIDN'T SEE THAT COMING.
THE DARK ARTIST LOOKED LIKE HE HAD IT,
BUT CAUGHT HIS LEG AND LANDED HARD.
SO HE WILL TAKE A COUPLE OF SHOTS AT FROZEN FURY AS WELL.
NO ISSUE WITH THE FIRST BAR THERE.
DON'T FORGET THIS OBSTACLE IS AT AN INCLINE, JOHNNY.
SO HE IS TRULY FIGHTING AN UPHILL BATTLE.
HE'S ONLY 7 MINUTES IN, JOHN,
BUT YOU CAN GET ALL KINDS OF WORN OUT IN A SHORT TIME
HERE IN THE ZONE.
SETTING HIMSELF UP IN GREAT POSITION TO WIN THE CASH.
THE PATH IS CLEAR NOW.
STEPS SAFELY OFF FROZEN FURY, AND ICED OVER ALL THAT'S LEFT.
OH, MY GOD. I'M GETTING NERVOUS NOW.
THE DARK ARTIST FACING DOWN THE FINAL OBSTACLE,
BUT THESE REVOLVING DIAMONDS ARE BLING WITH A STING.
FALLS WEAKLY ONTO THE OBSTACLE.
LOOKS LIKE TROUBLE.
OH!
YEAH, THE DARK ARTIST HAD DESIGNS ON A GOOD POSITION...
AAH!
BUT ICED OVER WAS NOT BUYING.
LOST A LOT OF TIME GETTING HIMSELF BACK TO THE START
HERE AT ICED OVER.
SECOND TRY AND IT STARTS OUT MUCH BETTER.
HE'S IN GOOD POSITION.
OVER TO THE SECOND DIAMOND.
THIS FAR DOWN THE LINE, HE CAN NO LONGER AFFORD A WIPEOUT.
YEAH, REALLY MEASURING HIS MOVEMENTS ON THE THIRD NOW.
UGH!
HE'S IN TROUBLE.
AH, BUT HE CALMLY BACKTRACKS.
RISKY STRATEGY. BUT YOU KNOW WHAT?
IF IT WORKS, HE BUYS HIMSELF SOME TIME FOR THAT FINAL JUMP.
HOW GOOD IS THAT?
IN A WHIRL...
I DID IT!
THE DARK ARTIST WINS IT.
VANESSA, GIVE THE MAN THE GOOD NEWS.
CONGRATULATIONS! YOU WON "WIPEOUT"!
THE DARK ARTIST, JOE VAUX...
OUR NEWEST WINTER "WIPEOUT" CHAMPION.
YEAH!
AND NOW I AM GONNA
HAVE THIS BABY FRAMED AND HUNG OVER MY DESK.
SHAME TO SEE YOUR NAGEL PRINT COME DOWN.
THAT'S GONNA DO IT FOR US.
BE SURE TO TUNE IN NEXT WEEK WHEN 24 NEW CONTESTANTS
TAKE ON SOME CRAZY, NEW WINTER OBSTACLES.
UNTIL THEN, AMERICA, I'M JOHN ANDERSON...
THE LITTLE ONE HERE.
AND FOR OUR COHOST VANESSA LACHEY,
I'M JOHN HENSON SAYING, GOOD NIGHT AND BIG BALLS.
♪♪♪
OH! OH! OHH!
AAH!
DIVER DOWN!
UHH!
KATIE!
YEAH!
AAH!
OH! AAH!
(growling)
(laughs)
"WIPEOUT"!