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Previously on House of Lies
Do you know that
Dre's *** ***
has not been to this place
since we moved production?
Lukas is all,
"DollaHyde my baby.
"
Well, DollaHyde's my baby, too.
You want final approval
of our floor displays.
And that would be
a deal breaker.
You're okay with
what just happened?
You think because I was laughing
that I'm okay with it?
You were gonna use
my painful breakup,
your separation from your wife,
to try to *** me?
I blacked out, so I don't know
if we I'm not saying
for a fact that we did.
I don't remember, either.
You remember when
you were in sober living
because you had a drug problem?
We're too *** up.
There's no fixing us, right?
I
Yeah, maybe.
This right here is gonna
make me *** rich.
That disgusting brown drink
that I guzzle down like come
has saved me from having to
purchase a meal in over a week.
Well, I know
one thing's for sure
we're not gonna be
the blood brothers
on the corners
that we once were.
unit over here.
Is there a medic here, please?
Business
and
personal, I guess.
Okay.
Are you sure
you're okay to drive?
Yes.
I'm fine.
'Cause I could just drive you
I'm fine.
Okay.
I'm gonna go.
I know I look like
a *** addict, but I can make
your life a living hell,
so keep that in mind.
I like your shoes.
Attaboy.
Mm-hmm.
Hey, um, can you check
the DollaHyde pro forma
revenue models
before the Barneys meeting?
Some of those figures,
they look funky to me.
Are you serious?
The meeting wasn't cancelled?
No.
I just got off the phone
with Dre's assistant.
All systems are go.
Huh.
Seems a little
Cold?
Let me tell you something.
I would insist that Marty
cancel all our meetings
if you were murdered.
Thank you, Doug.
I mean that.
And where are we at with
Deutsche Bank on setting
the final IPO for WON? Uh, no,
Clyde's dealing with that.
Well, do you know where he is?
I don't know.
Not here yet.
Um, actually,
Jeannie, could I talk
to you about something
Shut up.
Jeannie Van Der Hooven.
Where the *** are you?
I am at
ooh
the Amberley Hotel
in San Francisco.
How about that?
San Francisco? Are you aware
our offices are in Los Angeles?
Yeah, well,
I am servicing
an account right now.
Okay, well, get on a plane now.
I just have
to service the account
one more time
probably from behind.
Lukas Frye was
murdered last night.
What are you talking about?
Just
get back here now, please.
What, Doug?
Oh, yeah.
So, listen, um
about WON.
I-I've been sampling it,
you know that,
and I might have experienced
some side effects.
What kind of side effects?
Um, last night, um
I noticed a slight
enlargement in my, uh
pectoral region.
Douglas Guggenheim,
are you getting ***?
No.
Please don't touch them.
They're very sensitive.
Oh, my God.
Um, the doctor says
it's likely the result of
a spike in my estrogen levels,
probably related
to a change in diet.
But if it is the result of WON,
well, then that's a huge
clusterfuck for Monica.
All right,
I'll-I'll look into it.
Great.
Uh, anything I can do?
You can get yourself a bra.
This is a place of business;
I need you to be professional.
Ow.
How did you sleep?
Like ***.
But, you know, I don't sleep, so
Me, neither.
What do you think happened?
I don't know.
It certainly looked
like a gang hit.
Maybe too obviously
like a gang hit.
Could you remind me
which one you are again?
Is it Cagney or Lacey?
Wow, sweet '80s
reference, Chief.
Thank you.
You can't tell me
that the thought
hasn't crossed your mind that
I-I can't take you seriously
with your tooth like that.
I am getting it
fixed later today,
so shut the *** up.
Have you spoken to Dre?
Jeannie, uh
Just call him.
See how he's doing.
And then just
slip into the conversation,
"Hey, did you have
your friend Lukas murdered?"
I don't know,
see where the conversation goes.
Right.
I know he's your buddy, Marty,
and it's not like
I'm rooting for
his involvement, but
Listen, Dre is
He's been involved
in some bad ***, okay?
He's ruthless.
He'd never because you'd never?
You think you two are the same,
but
God and I mean this in
the nicest way possible, Marty
you're not.
I just had an epiphany.
I've got to get my own office.
No, Lukas's death it
really got me thinking.
You know, made me
it's made me take stock
of what-what
matters in life.
Oh, but you weren't even there.
But I knew him.
I knew him.
Oh, of course.
Yeah, you killed his dog.
Okay, yeah, Clyde.
Forgive me
that I care about people who die.
Mm-hmm.
And dogs, who die.
Who you ***.
I need to work on my marriage.
Oh, is this the epiphany?
It's Sarah.
I mean, it's always been Sarah.
Of course.
Except for when it was Caitlin.
Okay, yeah, sure.
I may have lusted in my heart,
but I never strayed.
Right.
Because she wouldn't let you.
Because I decided
Nice of you to join us, Clyde.
Oh, Jeannie!
Jeannie! Embracing
your hillbilly roots.
Very chichi.
I like it very much.
Yeah, hey, ain't that the tooth.
Sarah's gonna love that joke.
Ain't that the tooth.
Say it like that.
Let me update you real quick.
He is trying to win Sarah back.
Because Lukas died,
and not because
Caitlin absolutely
demolished him last night.
She doesn't need
to know all that.
So Sarah likes girls now?
'Cause you have fun bags.
Doug has fun bags?
You haven't heard?
No.
Our little girl is
going through puberty.
Douglas is?
Okay, let's get this over with.
Yeah, I have experienced
some temporary
pectoral growth due to a spike
in my estrogen levels, so that's it.
Mm-hmm.
Is this a real thing?
Yeah.
You swear to me this
is a real thing? Aw.
May I see them, Doug? I would like to
see them, please.
Certainly not.
I think he's just embarrassed
'cause they're kind of teensy.
Oh, no, they're tiny *** tops?
You know what,
you shouldn't even feel ashamed.
Lugging big old *** around,
you can get back problems.
And I say *** you
to all those guys
who do not love you for you.
I wouldn't mind bigger ***,
you know what I mean?
What's this WON ***
taste like, anyway?
Dude, I love your ***
just the way they are.
Oh.
There they are.
Aw, he loves my ***.
I like to put
smiley face in between,
so it looks like they're
talking to me all the time.
Like
You get it.
Don't pretend you
don't get it; you get it.
How was the rest of your
morning in San Francisco? It was good.
Yeah? It was good.
I sold off McClintock Media
for $4.
2 billion.
You just sold McClintock Media,
just quickly sold it
this morning?
Are you being serious?
Did you really sell
your company this morning?
We've been in quiet negotiations
for, like, a week, so yeah.
You never thought to mention it to your
consultant-slash-boyfriend,
the person who's been working on this
with you for the whole *** time?
Uh mm.
That's huge, by the way.
That's *** enormous.
Yeah.
You put any thought into what
you're gonna do with that new cash flow?
First I'm gonna buy you and
me a pretty little outfit.
A matching outfit? Okay.
Yes, obviously.
And then I'll probably blow
a ton of it on ***.
That's an amazing plan,
and I don't want to throw
you away from that, but
anytime you want to come in,
Marty would have
some mind-blowing ideas for you.
Mm.
I love Marty
I do and in a world
where we weren't dating,
I'd be all over
that black ***
but I'm pretty much
done with K&A.
I mean, I got what I needed.
You know?
Mmm.
This butternut
squash is amazing.
What the *** did
they put in this? Mmm!
Do want to stop ***
stealing the food from my plate
when you're ruining my life?
No problem.
I'll order my own.
Where's the guy? You know
I'm on shaky ground with Marty.
I thought we were in a relationship
we're supposed to look out for each other.
We're not supposed
to *** each other over.
Okay, just because I
let you put your mouth
on my ***, I'm supposed to
write you checks for the rest of my life?
You're missing the point.
That's not what I mean.
This relationship started
because you came by sober living
to drum up business.
Okay, fine,
it was a slimy beginning, but
I thought we moved past that.
Forget it.
Let's just go do
a bump in the bathroom.
Okay?
Hey, girls, we're
gonna go do a bump
in the bathroom,
so can you watch our food?
I don't want them to clear it.
Maybe we should just end this.
Okay.
"Okay"?
Just like that? "Okay"?
I said "maybe we should
just end this," and you say *** "okay"?
I can't believe I couldn't see how ***
self-centered you are.
Your ATM of a girlfriend
stops spitting out hundies,
and your first instinct
is to end things? No.
Yeah.
I'm the
self-centered one.
Okay.
Right.
*** you.
I'm gonna go do that bump in the bathroom,
so I'll see you later.
You know, her *** suck, by the way.
Mm-hmm.
Your *** are ***.
Clyde Oberholt ***
when he comes.
I do not.
- I do not.
- Wow.
Come on.
Oh.
Jeannie, Jeannie, wait.
Oh, God, hey.
I'm freaking out here.
Sarah she's not
returning my calls
or my texts or my anything.
What do I do?
Uh, give up?
What?
I don't know, Doug.
Do something romantic.
Like a *** pic or something?
Marty!
Finally! Please,
can I get a minute?
Whoa-kay, hold on.
Speaking of romantic,
chance of rain tonight.
That's good,
that's great, actually.
You know, in the movies,
when guys are trying
to win back the girl,
they're always, you know,
running through the rain?
That's usually
a real *** melter.
Don't say "*** melter," ever.
This is an independent
clinical study on WON.
Check the date.
*** fantastic.
You said you wanted
our expertise.
And really,
you just wanted the manpower
to push you through to the IPO.
And then you
sell off your shares
for a fat sum
and just ***
everybody else, right?
I did not keep anything
from you, Marty.
And I honestly, I didn't
even think that it was relevant.
Or you were greedy.
Mm.
I think you were just afraid
that we were gonna ask
for higher fees if we knew.
And you should have been afraid,
because, well, we would have.
Oh.
But it's nothing compared
to what we're gonna ask for now.
How much do you want?
I don't know.
Jeannie, what do you think?
I don't know, it's hard.
I mean, you know,
you want it to be enough
that she learns a lesson about honesty
Yeah.
but not so big
that she'll be tempted
to leak it and *** us over,
so I think that
I'd probably be satisfied
with 75%
of her shares of WON.
That's
That's *** outrageous.
It's nuts.
Yeah.
And our final offer.
Hey, I'll call the lawyers
and have them draw up
some contracts.
Do-do-do-do-do-do.
I'm gonna get a cookie.
Marty
Marty, no, this isn't
Don't do this.
This is this is supposed
to be my ticket back.
You are leaving me scraps.
You know, I
I genuinely thought
that we had gotten to some
new place or something,
you know?
When you came over, it felt
We were both there
for each other
at a vulnerable moment,
and it was real.
I don't know why I believed it.
I was
I mean, I guess I wanted to.
But it just goes to show you,
if you leave your door unlocked,
you shouldn't be surprised
when somebody comes in
and takes a ***
in the middle of the floor.
I'm gonna go get
that cookie now.
Thank you.
You smug,
self-satisfied ***.
Me?
You know what is
so incredibly sad?
I mean, like kill-yourself sad?
I think you actually believe
your own ***.
Small-town girl
makes good, right?
Tough, disciplined, independent.
Now there's a *** joke.
You are just
a remora clinging
to a shark's back.
I know what a shark is.
I'm pretty positive
a remora's a fish.
Let me check.
You would still be
sharpening pencils
at Galweather's
research basement
if Marty hadn't
plucked you out
given you life.
Marty plucked me out because
Because he saw something in you?
What Marty saw
was a desperate girl, eager
to shake off the sticks,
whose *** appeared
open for business.
The reason that you rose
so quickly at Galweather,
the reason that you're here,
the reason you have
any career at all
because Marty wanted
to *** you.
Not to say that you have
not played that brilliantly
by not actually *** him,
but when you do,
he will look at you
and he will see
what the rest of us see,
what everyone has always seen.
Nothing.
The tooth.
It's looking sexy.
First and foremost,
I want to thank you
for having the meeting here.
I mean,
with all that's happened,
things at the DollaHyde offices
are a little, uh
We were so sorry to hear.
Thank you.
I mean, I still
haven't quite grasped
that it's actually
even happened, that he's gone.
I'm sorry.
You know what?
We can reschedule.
We'll be back in town in two weeks.
No.
No, no, that's exactly
what we shouldn't do.
We should soldier on.
Lukas helped build this company,
and I can't think
of a better testament
to his memory
than to ensure its future.
Especially if that future
includes Barneys.
- Absolutely.
- Lukas loved Barneys.
"Barneys this, Barneys that,"
you know,
"Barneys, Barneys, Barneys.
"
He wouldn't shut up
about it, right?
So, we-we've met
with a few other retailers,
and I'm pretty sure that these
fine folks sitting next to me
would probably advise me
that I'm giving away
the negotiation before
we actually even get started.
But the fact is,
Barneys is the place
I want to be.
Yeah, Dre would kill
to be at Barneys.
That's a poor choice of words.
Um, is, uh
everything okay, Marty?
No, everything everything's
not okay, Dre.
Excuse me.
Pardon me.
Uh, Jeannie, could you?
Go away, go away.
No.
I'm guessing
this is the first time
you've ever seen
somebody get killed.
I'm telling you, Marty,
that ***'ll *** you up
Shut up, please.
Just shut the *** up, Dre.
Please.
Are you telling me
Look, don't treat me like
I'm a *** idiot, okay?
What are you talking about?
Oh, what, you think I had
something to do with Lukas?
Did you?
You wearing a wire?
Come on, man, that was a joke.
Yeah, it was a good one.
Look, I can see that
you're obviously upset.
I could've got hit, man.
Jeannie could've got hit.
See, whoever did Lukas,
they were professionals,
and professionals,
they don't miss.
Well, we're just assuming
they were pros, right?
'Cause we don't actually
know what happened.
No.
Right.
And you took
a bullet, too,
so not so professional, I guess.
I mean unless
Unless Wait,
wait, wait, wait.
You go yelling this ***
from the rooftops,
and someone's gonna believe you.
Whether it's
true or not.
And I can't have that.
You gonna kill me, too, Dre?
You know what?
Do it.
Do me a
*** favor, man.
Or do you make a phone call?
H-How does it work?
You got these guys on speed dial?
Give me the phone.
I'll do it.
You change your mind,
you got my address.
Oh.
Hey, ***.
And we're right back into it
with the witty banter.
Wait, now, hold on, hold on.
Sarah, Sar, please wait.
Please.
I'm sorry.
I
Look,
I don't know what I can say
to make things right
or what I can do.
I-I I just know
that I need you in my life.
I do.
Doug,
just I'm sor
Wait, no, hold on.
Let me finish.
Look, I'm not the kind of guy
women ever went for.
I wish I was, but I'm-I'm not.
Hell, I took a cousin
to my prom.
And not even
a pretty cousin, either.
I think she had, like,
a mild form
of spina bifida or something.
I'm not kidding.
And she ended up going to
second base with another cousin.
The whole situation
was really dark, honestly.
But anyway, you came along,
and you were so beautiful
and so cool, and-and
you made the insane choice
of actually wanting me.
And not just wanting me,
going so far
as to trick me into marriage.
I would have tricked a lot
of men into marriage, actually,
so don't flatter yourself.
All right, well,
I'm trying to say that I
I didn't appreciate how ***
amazing you are.
How about that?
Well, not as amazing as
Caitleen, right?
Caitlyn.
L-Y-N.
I don't care.
I know, I know.
I held Caitlin up
as this ideal.
But then I realized
That she's
a boring little ***?
Mm, no.
I-I was gonna say that
I realized that she's not you.
And that she's
a boring little ***.
Okay.
But compared to you
Compared to anyone.
I kind of need you to say it.
Um yeah,
she's a boring little ***.
I know, right?
Yeah.
That's what I've been
trying to tell you.
You can come in now.
Okay.
Thank you.
We're done.
Good as new.
What's happening?
Why am I crying?
Sometimes patients
coming off anesthesia
exhibit strong emotions.
You're gonna be okay.
Am I?
Am I gonna be okay?
Why did I just ask you that?
What is happening to me?
Oh, ***.
Oh, God.
So, this is normal?
Mm-hmm.
Oh, God, I miss this place.
It's our home.
Yeah.
Another leg broke off?
I know.
And the springs have gone to ***.
Yeah.
I was gonna get a
new one, but I just couldn't
bring myself to give this one away.
Yeah.
Lot of memories on that couch.
It's where I first
gave you a ***.
I was just thinking that, yeah.
We were watching Chicago Fire,
and you said, "This
show is so stupid.
"
It is.
Right.
"Do you want a ***?"
And I Do you
remember what I said?
You were just like,
"Yes, please.
" "Yes, please.
"
Because I did.
I did want
You hurt me, Doug.
Jesus!
I'm sorry, Sarah.
I'm so sorry.
I know.
I'm such an idiot.
If I could go back and if
I could take it all back
Hey, look at me
I love you so much.
I wouldn't have tricked
anybody else into marrying me.
I just I was
just lashing out.
Really?
Yeah.
Oh, come here.
Oh.
Mmm.
Oh!
Oh, Sarah.
Oh.
I think that this is good.
I think this is great.
Yeah.
I just wish that we had
figured that out last week.
I know.
Each moment
Each moment is so precious;
I know that now.
And every day that we
didn't spend together
is-is a day lost in
the sands of time.
Yeah.
That's true, I guess.
Yeah.
Also, I had
an abortion last Friday.
What? No, wait.
What?
I don't know, there was a baby,
and then there wasn't one.
You had an-an abortion?
Are you serious?
Hey.
Wh
Why didn't you tell me?
I I mean, I know
we'd broken up, but
it was mine, too.
Uh
Are you okay?
What was that?
Yeah.
No.
Was that a shrug?
Did you just shrug?
It was a little
That's a shrug.
Yeah,
that's a weird shrug.
You know what, Doug?
I wasn't completely sure
that it was yours, okay?
I went on a bit of a spree.
But you used protection.
You know how I feel
about condoms, Doug.
Oh, my God.
Oh, my God.
Well
I'm gonna go get some Fresca.
Do you want a Fresca?
Um no.
Okay.
Marty.
I thought Dre had given you
the code.
He's up at the house
if you want to follow me in.
No, actually,
I wanted to talk to you
for a second, if I could.
May I?
Y-Yeah.
What's
What's going on, Marty?
You seem
Um
It's about Lukas.
I can't prove anything,
and I
I wouldn't say this
if I wasn't sure.
Your husband had Lukas killed.
You've never been in
a good relationship, have you?
One where you really open
yourself up to that person,
where you make
every important decision
together,
good and bad.
Jesus.
Dre and I talk a lot.
Sometimes we even talk
about you.
Maybe you should focus
on trying to fix your ***,
instead of coming in here
trying to *** up
what Dre and I have.
Because that is not
going to happen.
Good night, Marty.
Hello.
Jeremiah let me in.
And then he went
to Chantelle's.
And I think Roscoe is
School field trip.
Brought you a present.
And I might've gotten
a teensy head start.
Yeah?
Hey, Jeannie, you
remember what happened
last time we
shared a bottle?
Not really.
Okay, uh, listen
today has been
I I don't want
to end up doing
something stupid.
I do.
I want to do something
really *** stupid.
So why don't you get
your big-boy pants on
and grab a glass.
I seriously lost my ***.
I-I could not
stop crying.
I think it scared the dentist.
Doesn't make sense.
I mean, you've been
with hundreds of guys, right?
Clearly, this can't be the
first one that's been murdered.
I don't think it had anything
to do with Lukas.
What was it?
I don't know.
It's not important.
Are you *** kidding me?
What was it?
Just tell me.
What?
You finally make a friend,
and he turns out
to be a murderer.
That's not funny.
Where the *** is this thing?
What are you doing?
I am trying to take my bra off
without taking my blouse off.
Why?
'Cause it's sexy.
No, no, I should
never have said it.
I mean, I think it was just
something about
being at the wedding
or being in Vegas.
No, it's not
I mean I just wasn't in a
place to hear it, you know?
Not like I'm ever
really in a place to
to hear it, but
I'm glad you said it.
I mean
I'm glad you felt it.
That-that's
number one
best picture.
Oh, my Lord.
Uh-huh.
And there's
this picture.
Wow.
My mom.
She was beautiful.
Yeah.
Graduation.
Oh God, I'm
such an ***.
I don't know, you did sacrifice
your body last night
to protect me.
Yeah, but I broke your tooth.
I know, you ***.
Hey.
What?
I love you.
Dummy, you were supposed
to say that before,
to get me into bed, not after.
I know, I *** it up.