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Twas the night before Christmas
and all through my flat some friends of mine had gathered
for a fine holiday chat. We sat by the fire
eating food and drinking wine when the talk
turned to roller coasters that of summertime. And two of my friends
named Charlie and Paul wondered what was the tallest ride of them all.
I immediately shouted, "Ah yes! Millennium Force!
It's the tallest and fastest ride out there of course!"
When out on the lawn, there arose such a clatter...
we went to the window to see what was the matter. When
what to our wondering eyes should appear, but a beat-up
bicycle and a rider with a sneer! He seemed rather
angry overweight with no joy. I knew in a moment
it must be CoasterBoy! He turned towards our window
and flipped us the bird! Then he got off his bike
and screamed like a nerd! "Now Blue Streak! Now Corkscrew!
Now Raptor and Mantis! On Maverick! On Magnum!
And Journey to Atlantis! Yeah, I know Journey to Atlantis
isn't a ride at Cedar Point, but I needed a rhyme. So get off my back, OK?
And then with a thud, the fat little goof
had somehow gotten himself on my roof! Next thing we heard
was a mouth breathing sound and down the chimney CoasterBoy
came with a bound!
He was dressed in a t-shirt that was old and too tight.
It said "I was first to ride Steel Phantom on
Opening Night!" Then he took out his laptop, while looking upset
and shouted at me "why don't you have wireless internet?"
He typed away with incredible speed, and ended up
on a site called RCDB. The Roller Coaster Database is where he had
surfed,
that he pointed at me and began to curse!
"You ignorant fool, you back end of a horse!
How could the tallest ride be Millennium Farce!"
"The record was broken by Six Flags' Kingda Ka! Even though most experts think
that ride
is rather blah! It rises so high
and goes so fast! But I knew the speed record
just wouldn't last! So do your damn research
before you speak! Take it from me, the world's
eminent coaster geek!" Then he grabbed sixteen cookies
and shoved them in his mouth. Presumably to eat later
when he got back to his parents house. Then he slammed shut his laptop
and blew his full nose! And giving a nod
up the chimney he rose! He dived on this bike
and turned away on a dime! And as he peddled along
he flipped us the bird one more time.
But I heard to exclaim through the night to annoy...
Happy Christmas to all! For I AM COASTERBOY!!!