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I had the right to remain silent... but I didn't have the ability.
I didn't get where I am today by worryin' about how I'd feel tomorrow.
You wanna get the truth out of me, get me hammered.
The next time you have a thought... let it go.
Diamonds - that'll shut her up... for a minute!
I'd rather do a really good small part than a really bad big part.
Everybody I know is a joke writer.
I believe everything creative is somewhat collaborative.
I was a huge fan of comedy when I was a child.
I do live like a rock star, but it's not as great as it sounds. It's a lot of traveling.
My goal is just to become a better comedian.