Tip:
Highlight text to annotate it
X
[ BELL DINGING ]
[ ENGINE REVS ]
[ TIRES SCREECH ]
[ ROCK-'N'-ROLL MUSIC PLAYS ]
Monkey: ALL RIGHT, YOU'RE LISTENING TO 87.9 F.M.,
PIRATE CAT RADIO.
DON'T TOUCH THAT DIAL.
I'M JOINED WITH A VERY SPECIAL GUEST IN THE STUDIO RIGHT NOW.
SO, WHAT BRINGS YOU TO SAN FRANCISCO THIS WEEKEND?
Bourdain: MAKING TELEVISION AND EATING WELL.
THE LINE BETWEEN BUSINESS AND PLEASURE
HAS BECOME KIND OF PERMEABLE IN MY LIFE LATELY.
[ TIRES SCREECH ]
I'M ANTHONY BOURDAIN.
♪ THAT'S RIGHT ♪
I WRITE.
I TRAVEL.
I EAT.
AND I'M HUNGRY FOR MORE.
♪ OOH ♪
♪ YOU GOT TO ♪
♪ GET LOST ♪
-- Captions by VITAC -- www.vitac.com
CAPTIONS PAID FOR BY THE TRAVEL CHANNEL, L.L.C.
Kleinzahler: "ACROSS THE CITY'S NORTHWEST QUADRANT,
"DRIFTING THROUGH HOLES IN THE TRAFFIC AND RAIN,
"AS MORNING'S FIRST TROLLEY CLEARS THE TRACK,
"DOWDY CLIENTELE HAUNTING THE AISLES,
"RAIN SWEEPING IN OFF THE SEA,
FOGHORNS LOWING LIKE OUTSIZED BEASTS"...
SAN FRANCISCO, 2009 --
BRIDGES, FOG, FOOD,
HIGH LIFE, LOW LIFE, VEGANS...
ISN'T THERE SOMEONE, LIKE, EVIL HERE I CAN MAKE FUN OF?
[ WHISTLING ]
...NOT TOO FAR
FROM THE EPICENTER OF POLITICAL CORRECTNESS
AND YET SOMEHOW WONDERFULLY AND PERSISTENTLY OLD-SCHOOL,
A TOWN WELL FAMILIAR WITH TWO-*** DRINKING,
EVERY VARIETY OF VICE, CRAZINESS, AND EXCESS,
FAMOUSLY WELCOMING TO A LONG LINE OF MINERS, UNIONISTS,
DOPERS AND FREAKS, HOOKERS AND HIPPIES
AND CULTISTS AND CRACKPOTS.
IT'S CRUNCHY GRANOLA, BUT IT'S ALSO DOUBLE MARTINIS
AND THICK SLABS OF BEEF,
JERRY GARCIA AND DIRTY HARRY,
A CITY OF TOWNS, NEIGHBORHOODS, HILLTOP REDOUBTS --
A TOUGH TOWN FOR A STICK SHIFT.
[ ENGINE TURNS OVER, REVS ]
[ TIRES SCREECH ]
THERE'S MUCH TO BE SKEPTICAL OF, AND YET I LOVE IT HERE.
THERE'S A HIGH THRESHOLD FOR SILLINESS.
NEARBY, IT'S A SELF-PROFESSED CENTER OF THE FOOD REVOLUTION,
SANCTIMONIOUS LOCAVORES
IN ONE OF THE RICHEST ZIP CODES IN THE COUNTRY
TELLING ME WE SHOULD, WE MUST, EAT ORGANIC.
THAT'S OKAY, BECAUSE IT'S A FOOD WONDERLAND HERE.
LET'S GET THAT OUT OF THE WAY,
DOWN ON PAPER, RIGHT OFF THE BAT.
ORGANIC, CRUELTY-FREE, FREE-RANGE.
NOT REALLY.
MMM.
TASTES LIKE IT DIED SCREAMING.
"FIGHTING THE WHEEL AS THEY BARREL DOWNHILL,
WORKING THAT CLUTCH TILL THE BRAKES GO 'HO!'"
"NOW, AND NO MATTER WHAT,
CAN'T FIND THE *** TO TURN OFF THE SHOW."
I'M FAMOUSLY UNENTHUSIASTIC, SHALL WE SAY, ABOUT VEGANS.
BUT I ENJOY BACON, HENCE MY FIRST STOP IN TOWN --
PIRATE CAT RADIO,
A QUAINT LITTLE CAFE/ COFFEE SHOP/RADIO STATION
WITH A VEGAN THEME
AND AN INCONGRUOUSLY MEATY SPECIAL BEVERAGE.
I DROP BY TO GET INTERVIEWED BY DEEJAY MONKEY.
I LIKE MONKEYS.
YOU'RE HERE AT PIRATE CAT RADIO TO TRY THE MAPLE BACON LATTE.
THERE'S NOT ACTUALLY BACON IN IT, RIGHT?
OH, NO, NO. THERE'S REFINED BACON IN IT.
REFINED, LIKE ACTUAL PORK PRODUCT?
ACTUAL PORK PRODUCT -- IT TAKES 10 POUNDS OF BACON
TO MAKE, UM, I DON'T KNOW,
PROBABLY, WHAT, 4 OUNCES OF REFINED BACON?
AM I DRINKING THIS OR TAKING IT INTRAVENOUSLY?
HOWEVER YOU'D LIKE IT. I'M SURE WE CAN GET SOME NEEDLES OUT ON THE STREET.
REFINED BACON FAT, EH?
I AM INTRIGUED. PLEASE TELL ME MORE.
NICE, HEAPING SERVING OF REFINED BACON.
MAPLE SYRUP?
TABLESPOON OF MAPLE SYRUP.
AND THAT'S ACTUAL MILK FROM A COW.
THIS IS ACTUAL ORGANIC COW'S MILK.
EXCELLENT. ONLY KIND THERE IS. OKAY. GOOD.
LIKE ALL VEGANS,
DEEJAY MONKEY'S DREAMS ARE ALIVE
WITH FROLICKING PIGS DANCING AROUND THE FLAME
IN A FLAVORFUL MIASMA OF HICKORY SMOKE.
A FINE YOUNG MAN WITH A MISSION
TO MAKE COFFEE BETTER.
A PART-TIME VEGAN --
THE REST OF THE TIME, APPARENTLY,
HE'S BOILING DOWN BACON INTO A DEADLY YET FLAVORFUL SLUDGE
SO THE COFFEE OF THE FUTURE
CAN BE MEATIER AND POSSIBLY MORE CARCINOGENIC.
MMM, CANCER.
SO, WAIT A MINUTE -- HOW DOES PORK FIT
IN TO THIS OTHERWISE MEAT-FREE THEME HERE?
SO, WE DON'T SERVE ANYTHING THAT HAS ANY MEAT IN IT.
RIGHT, BUT WHAT IS THIS?
THAT'S THE SUBSTITUTE FOR NOT HAVING MEAT AROUND.
HOW DO YOU RECONCILE THESE TWO HALVES OF YOUR -- OF YOUR --
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW.
AS LONG AS THERE'S BACON IN YOUR LIFE, I'M HAPPY.
MMM. THAT'S DELIGHTFUL.
EVIL AND GOOD.
YOU SURE THERE'S ACTUAL MEAT IN THERE?
JUST GIVE IT LIKE 15 MINUTES, AND YOU'LL FEEL THE FILM
WRAP AROUND THE INSIDE OF YOUR MOUTH WITH BACON FAT.
IT'S REALLY GOT EVERYTHING.
THE COFFEE COMPONENT GETS YOU ALL JACKED UP AND ENERGETIC.
THE MEAT PART MAKES YOU ALL AGGRESSIVE AND ANGRY.
IT'S A MANLY DRINK.
IT IS.
I'M FEELING REALLY GOOD ABOUT MYSELF.
SLIGHTLY MORE PORK THAN MIGHT BE EXPECTED
FROM A SUPPOSEDLY VEGAN RADIO STATION --
ENCOURAGING, YES?
[ ENGINE REVS, TIRES SCREECH ]
NOW, NORMALLY I'M EXTREMELY WARY OF ANY RESTAURANT
THAT CLAIMS TO BE THE OLDEST OR THE HOME OF SOMETHING
OR THE ORIGINAL WHATEVER.
THAT'S USUALLY AN INVITATION TO BOGUSNESS.
BUT THE TADICH GRILL MANAGES TO AVOID
THE TROPES OF BEING A BELOVED INSTITUTION
SIMPLY BY STAYING UNAPOLOGETICALLY THE SAME.
Bourdain: OSCAR.
HEY, HEY, MAN.
HOW YOU DOING, BROTHER?
WAITING FOR ME IS MY FRIEND OSCAR,
AND AS I'LL SOON LEARN, IN TYPICAL SAN FRANCISCO STYLE,
HE'S WELL INTO HIS THIRD MARTINI.
GOOD AFTERNOON, GENTLEMEN. HERE WE ARE.
DO SVIDANIYA.
IT'S ONLY GETTING UGLIER FROM HERE, MY FRIEND.
HERE WE ARE.
SEE, I LIKE THIS PLACE.
THE UNDISPUTED SPECIALTY HERE IS THE CIOPPINO,
A PLEASANT ENOUGH SEAFOOD-AND-TOMATO STEW.
BUT OSCAR RECOMMENDS THE HANGTOWN FRY,
AN OLDEN-DAY DISH --
OYSTERS AND EGGS AND BACON, TOO.
I THINK IF GOD HAS TAUGHT US ANYTHING,
IT'S THAT HE WANTS US TO EAT OYSTERS AND BACON TOGETHER.
YEP.
I'VE NEVER HAD THIS WITH A MARTINI, BUT THIS IS PERFECT.
YOU KNOW, THIS IS ONE OF THE THINGS
I REALLY LOVE ABOUT SAN FRANCISCO.
HERE, IN THIS MOUNTAINTOP OF POLITICAL CORRECTNESS,
VEGANISM, VEGETARIANISM, FRUITARIANISM,
EVERY OTHER TYPE OF [BLEEP]
YOU GET AN ABOMINATION AGAINST GOD AND CIVILIZATION LIKE THIS.
I MEAN, BACON, OYSTERS, AND MARTINIS TOGETHER --
THIS IS NOT SOMETHING THAT REALLY --
OH, WELL, THAT'S PART OF OUR CULTURE, MAN.
IS IT OKAY?
IT'S WONDERFUL, AND I FEEL ASHAMED
THAT WE DON'T HAVE THIS IN NEW YORK.
DON'T FORGET, THIS WAS A REALLY ROUGH-AND-TUMBLE TOWN
WHERE PEOPLE JUST KIND OF MADE UP THE RULES AS IT WENT ALONG.
BUT THIS IS A DEN OF VICE.
I MEAN, THERE'S LIKE A MASSAGE PARLOR --
THERE'S BASICALLY A [BLEEP] ***
RIGHT ACROSS FROM MY HOTEL IN THE CENTER OF TOWN.
[ LAUGHTER ]
THING ABOUT SAN FRANCISCO --
IT'S LIKE A BEAUTIFUL, MYSTERIOUS WOMAN.
WILL YOU EVER POSSESS HER? NO, NO.
BUT TO KEEP COMPANY WITH HER IS MORE THAN ENOUGH
'CAUSE YOU REALIZE THERE'S LAYERS
THAT YOU'RE STILL NOT GONNA GET TO THAT --
YOU KNOW, YOU THINK YOU FIGURED EVERYTHING OUT,
BUT YOU HAVEN'T.
THERE'S, LIKE, WARRENS WITHIN THIS WHOLE CITY.
BY THE WAY, I DON'T KNOW IF I MENTIONED [BLEEP] GOOD.
MM-HMM. TOLD YOU.
HACKY SACK AND SCABIES, ANYONE?
WHEN WE COME BACK.
BURN IN HELL, YUPPIES!
[ BELL DINGING ]
[ GUITAR PLAYS ]
[ DOGS BARKING ]
Man: THE WORLD BEAT --
I FEEL LIKE THAT'S THE REAL TRAVELING.
WE COMMUNICATE THROUGH MUSIC.
Man #2: YEAH, MAN.
IT'S ONE OF OUR, LIKE, PLACES IN THE HUMAN MIND.
YEAH. FOR SURE, DUDE.
TO STEAL A BIT OF HUNTER THOMPSON,
THIS IS WHERE THE DREAM BEGAN, AND THIS IS WHERE IT DIED.
BEWARE OF HIPPIES.
YOU CAN ALMOST SEE THE FAULT LINE
WHERE IT BROKE AND ROLLED BACK,
BECAME THE LONG, BAD, NEVER-ENDING TRIP.
WHEN YOU COME TO SAN FRANCISCO,
BE SURE TO WEAR FLOWERS IN YOUR HAIR.
HAIGHT-ASHBURY --
I WANTED TO COME HERE SO BADLY WHEN I WAS 11 AND 12 --
ALL THAT FREE LOVE, WEED, PSYCHEDELICA, THE MUSIC.
BY THE TIME I WAS 13, IT WAS ALREADY LONG OVER.
SOME HAVE STILL YET TO RECEIVE THE MESSAGE.
BURN IN HELL, YUPPIES!
BUT DOWN THIS STREET LIVES AN ENDURING BAR INSTITUTION
THAT STOOD TALL, STRANGE, AND PROUDLY OUT OF STEP
WITH THE OUTSIDE WORLD
RIGHT THROUGH THE SUMMER OF LOVE AND BEYOND...
THE AUB ZAM ZAM ROOM,
RUN BY THE LEGENDARILY UNFRIENDLY OWNER,
THE NOTORIOUS GUARDIAN OF ANOTHER AGE, BRUNO.
HE WAS FAMOUS FOR RUNNING THINGS
HIS WAY AND ONLY HIS WAY.
BRUNO'S GONE -- DIED IN 2000 -- BUT HE'S NOT FORGOTTEN.
POET AUGUST KLEINZAHLER CHRONICLED HIS REIGN
OVER THE DARK SPACE THAT WAS THIS BAR
IN HIS MEMOIR "CUTTY, ONE ROCK."
Kleinzahler: "'A COUPLE OF MARTINIS
"AT THE FIRST COURSE OF ANY GOOD MEAL,'
"BRUNO LIKED TO SAY, 'JUST BEFORE THE SOUP.'
"FOR BRUNO, THE BAR WAS A PIECE OF OLD SAN FRANCISCO.
"HE WANTED HIS BAR TO HAVE CLASS LIKE IN THE OLD DAYS.
"'THIS IS JUST AN OLD SALOON.
"'THE CORNER BAR IS YOUR BEST BET.
"'PLEASE, PLEASE DON'T TRY TO MATCH WITS WITH ME.
"'I TRY TO SERVE PEOPLE,
"'BUT THEY DON'T KNOW HOW TO ORDER.
"'I'M SORRY. THE TABLES ARE CLOSED.
"'THERE'S NO ROOM. DO YOU UNDERSTAND ENGLISH?
"'THEY HAVE BEEN CLOSED SINCE 7:30 -- C-L-O-S-E-D.
"'IT'S NOT YOU. IT'S ME. I CAN'T DO IT ANYMORE.
I'M SORRY. YOU'LL HAVE TO GO DRINK SOMEWHERE ELSE.'"
AAH! HEY!
[BLEEP] YOU GUYS!
AUGUST IS NOTORIOUS, AS WELL,
REFERRED TO AS A PUGILISTIC WORD WARRIOR,
PROBABLY AFTER HIS VICIOUS AND UNPROVOKED ATTACK
ON BELOVED ICON OF MEDIOCRITY GARRISON KEILLOR.
HE'S LIKE ME, A JERSEY GUY,
BUT HE'S BEEN LIVING HERE FOR DECADES.
Bourdain: YOU KNOW, I DON'T KNOW WHAT IT IS ABOUT SAN FRANCISCO,
BUT EVERY TIME I COME HERE, I NEED A --
AND MAYBE IT'S JUST OUT OF SPITE --
I NEED A BIG HUNK OF BLEEDING ANIMAL PROTEIN
WITH SOME INDIFFERENTLY COOKED CREAMED SPINACH,
AND I KNOW JUST WHERE TO GO.
BUT FIRST A COCKTAIL, YES?
BRUNO WAS LIKE THE LAST OF THE MOHICANS.
FOR A GUY WHO NEVER HESITATED TO THROW YOU OUT, CUT YOU OFF,
OR SIMPLY REFUSE TO MAKE A DRINK,
HE REMAINS LOVED BY HIS VICTIMS.
Bourdain: SO THIS PLACE PRETTY MUCH RESISTED
EVERYTHING THAT WAS GOING ON AROUND?
YEAH, BRUNO WAS A PIP ABOUT THAT.
HE KEPT THE DOOR CLOSED, FIGURATIVELY AND LITERALLY.
ONE BIG MISTAKE THE PEOPLE MADE
WAS TRYING TO TELL HIM HOW TO MAKE A MARTINI.
"I'D LIKE THAT DRY WITH AN OLIVE."
"THAT'S AUTOMATIC. NOW, DON'T GET AFTER ME," HE'D SAY.
"ARE YOU MATCHING WITS?" THAT WAS ANOTHER ONE OF HIS.
SO, WAIT A MINUTE -- WHAT IF I'M
A PROPERLY ATTIRED GENTLEMAN TO THE WORLD WITH DATE,
I SIT DOWN AT THE BAR, I PUT MY MONEY UP.
Man: A $20 BILL.
$20 BILL WOULD BE A GOOD GESTURE OF SERIOUSNESS OF INTENT.
MONEY ON THE BAR. "I WOULD LIKE A MARTINI."
AND FOR THE YOUNG LADY?
HE WOULDN'T HAVE A PROBLEM.
HERE I'M ALREADY AT A CROSSROADS. WHAT DO I DO?
IT WASN'T THAT COMPLICATED
IF YOU SHUT UP AND ORDERED A DRINK HE APPROVED OF,
WHICH MEANT NOT BEER, NOT MIXED DRINKS LIKE DAIQUIRIS.
IF YOU ORDERED WHISKEY OR A MARTINI
AND THEN PROCEEDED TO DRINK IT FAST AND ORDER ANOTHER ONE --
HE DIDN'T LIKE PEOPLE WHO LINGERED OVER THEIR DRINKS.
I DO WANT A MARTINI, BY THE WAY.
CONFUSED AT WHY THE REGULARS GET SO NOSTALGIC
ABOUT A BAR AND A BARTENDER WHO WASN'T THAT FRIENDLY
AND MADE IT DIFFICULT FOR PATRONS?
THEN THERE'S A DIFFERENT BAR FOR YOU.
IT'S OUT THE DOOR AND DOWN THE STREET.
IT'S NICELY LIT AND HAS COMFORTABLE CHAIRS AND FERNS.
IT'S THE NICEST BAR ON THE BLOCK.
BEHOLD THE FANTASTICALLY STUCK-IN-TIME TEMPLE
OF ROAST BEEF,
HOUSE OF PRIME RIB.
THEY SAY VIRTUE IS ITS OWN REWARD.
YEAH?
I DON'T KNOW IF THAT'S TRUE.
IT'S NOT TRUE.
BUT HOPEFULLY AT THE END OF THE RAINBOW,
THERE'S A BIG SLAB OF [BLEEP] MEAT.
OH, GOOD.
THE AROMA OF ROASTED BEEF HANGS HEAVY IN THE AIR.
MORE THAN A DROP OR TWO OF PREMIUM GIN
CONTRIBUTES TO AN ADMIXTURE OF COMFORTING RED HAZE,
A TINTED LENS THROUGH WHICH EVERYTHING
LOOKS BEAUTIFUL AND HAPPY.
LOOK AT THIS PLACE. IT'S PACKED.
THIS IS A TEMPLE OF OLD-SCHOOL MEAT.
THIS IS EVERYTHING THAT'S UNFASHIONABLE,
EVERYTHING THAT'S WRONG, EVERYTHING THAT'S JUST --
AND HERE IT IS.
NO, NO!
YES, NO, YES.
WHATEVER YOU SAY IS RIGHT.
OH! AWW.
ONE JERSEY TO ANOTHER, BABY.
YES.
FROM THE SHORE.
YEAH. THE SHORE, YEAH.
YOU CAN GO ALL AROUND THE WORLD...
ALL AROUND THE WORLD.
...BUT YOU'LL NEVER MEET ANYTHING LIKE A JERSEY GIRL.
EVERYTHING YOU HEAR ABOUT A JERSEY GIRL IS TRUE.
I KNOW. TRUST ME.
WHO KNOWS BETTER?
[ LAUGHTER ]
THE CONSTANT RATTLE AND SHAKE IN THE BACKGROUND SEEMS,
I AM LATER LED TO BELIEVE, TO EMANATE
FROM A NEVER-ENDING CHOO-CHOO TRAIN
OF 80-PROOF GIN AND A LITTLE BIT OF VERMOUTH.
DID I ORDER THAT? I -- I BELIEVE I DID.
THIS IS THE SECOND PLACE I'VE BEEN WITH YOU TODAY
THAT I WOULD BE HONORED TO DIE IN.
WELL, DON'T BE TOO INVESTED IN THAT SENTIMENT.
NO, REALLY.
I MEAN, A BRAIN HEMORRHAGE NOW, OKAY, I'D RATHER NOT,
I MEAN, ON BALANCE, BUT I WOULDN'T BE EMBARRASSED.
THERE WAS, I AM ALSO ASSURED LATER,
A SALAD, OF ALL THINGS,
THOUGH ONE FEATURING RAW BEEF,
AFTER WHICH, THERE'S ALWAYS CREAMED SPINACH AND, I BELIEVE,
AN EXCELLENT YORKSHIRE PUDDING -- MY FAVORITE.
BUT FROM THIS GIANT ZEPPELIN, THIS HINDENBURG
OF INTERCONTINENTAL BALLISTIC MEAT-DELIVERY SYSTEMS,
EMERGES BEEF.
MERCIFUL JESUS.
IS THIS THE GREATEST PLACE IN THE UNIVERSE?
IT'S HOPE FOR THE FUTURE
HERE IN THE HEART OF DARKNESS.
LIGHT! LIGHT!
OH, OKAY.
LOOK AT THAT. LOOK AT THAT.
THANK YOU.
NEVER HAS A HALF POUND OF MEAT GOTTEN THIS MUCH ATTENTION.
OH, THE HUMANITY!
A BIG, BLEEDING, JUST-RIGHT SLAB OF PRIME RIB.
MY MOTHER DIDN'T MAKE ROAST BEEF LIKE THIS.
NOBODY'S MOTHER MADE ROAST BEEF LIKE THIS.
THIS IS THE AMERICAN DREAM RIGHT HERE -- RIGHT HERE --
ALL THE GOOD, ALL THE BAD,
ALL THE BEAUTIFUL, ALL OF THE GLORIES AND VULNERABILITIES.
YEAH. I MEAN, THERE'S A METAPHOR HERE SOMEWHERE [BLEEP]
THAT'S MY JOB. WHERE AM I FALLING DOWN ON THE --
[BLEEP] WONDERFUL.
VERY GOOD.
SO, GENTLEMEN, WE OFFER A SECOND SLICE OF PRIME RIB.
IT'S ABOUT 2 TO 3 OUNCES OF PRIME RIB ON THE HOUSE.
YOU MUST BE KIDDING ME!
I THINK NOT. THIS'LL DO ME.
WHAT ABOUT THIS LITTLE PIECE RIGHT HERE?
I'M WORKING IT. I'M WORKING IT.
THE FOGGY, BLOOD-FLECKED NEXUS OF FOOD AND POETRY.
YOU'VE MADE IT VERY, VERY CLEAR
THAT YOUR AVERAGE PERSON
CAN MAKE IT THROUGH THE DAY WITHOUT POETRY.
DO WE NEED IT?
IT'S NOT FOR EVERYBODY, AND...
IS THAT OKAY?
ABSOLUTELY.
SNAILS ARE NOT FOR EVERYBODY.
BUT THE OTHER THING IS, YOU KNOW,
WHEN YOU TELL THE LOVE INTEREST --
SHE SAYS, "YOU'RE IGNORING ME.
YOU DON'T CARE ABOUT ME. I'M JUST A CONVENIENCE TO YOU."
YOU SAY, "NO. I LOVE YOU. I THINK YOU'RE WONDERFUL."
SHE SAYS, "YOU THINK I'M WONDERFUL?
WHAT THE [BLEEP] DOES THAT MEAN?"
AND THEN YOU HAVE TO...DESCRIBE
IN ELEVATED LANGUAGE
THE NATURE OF YOUR LOVE
TO DELIGHT HER.
POETRY HAS THAT ROLE, AS WELL.
[ LAUGHS ]
HAPPY DAYS, MATE.
THEN, AS I THINK IT WAS CHANDLER ONCE SAID,
I WENT TO BRUSH SOMETHING OFF MY CHEEK,
AND IT WAS THE FLOOR.
I PUT CREAM ON IT!
IT WOULDN'T GO AWAY!
THE OINTMENT'S NOT HELPING.
AFTER THE BREAK...
[ BELL DINGING ]
Man: THE PURPOSE OF A PROTEST IS NOT TO STOP,
AND IT'S FOR US TO SHOW OUR OPPOSITION,
TO SHOW THAT WE WILL NOT BE SILENT.
THAT'S WHY WE DO THIS.
THERE'S A LOT I'M AMBIVALENT ABOUT,
EVEN INSTINCTIVELY HOSTILE TO, IN SAN FRANCISCO.
FERRY BUILDING MARKET --
EVEN CARLO PETRINI,
THE FOUNDER AND LEADER OF THE SLOW FOOD MOVEMENT,
FOUND THIS PLACE DISTASTEFUL.
ORGANIC AND GREEN AND LOCAL -- YES, BUT ALSO A MAGNET
FOR THE FOOD-FETISHIZING ELITE
FROM AN AREA WITH AN AVERAGE HOUSEHOLD INCOME
OF $85,000 A YEAR.
[ BANJO PLAYS ]
AND THERE'S BANJO MUSIC,
A WAVING RED FLAG AS FAR AS I'M CONCERNED.
Man: YOU WANT TO TRY SOME BLUE CHEESE?
BLUE CHEESE? YES.
THANKS FOR THAT.
HEY, THANK YOU, MAN.
LOOK AT THE BIG HUNK OF THAT.
CHECK THIS OUT, MAN --
PICKED THEM MYSELF YESTERDAY MORNING.
REALLY? THANK YOU. REALLY GOOD.
THANKS FOR THE TIP.
YOU'RE WELCOME.
THAT WAS GOOD.
THANK YOU.
THANKS.
COOL. FREE STUFF.
OH, MAN, HOW COULD I *** ON A PLACE?
ALL THIS FOOD IS DELICIOUS.
PEOPLE ARE GIVING ME STUFF FOR FREE.
FRANKLY, I CAME HERE FULLY PREPARED
TO UNLOAD A SIZEABLE AND SNARKTASTIC CLEVELAND STEAMER
ON THESE PEOPLE.
I WANTED DEARLY TO HATE IT.
HI. HOW ARE YOU?
TAMALE PLATE, I THINK.
YOU KNOW WHAT? LET ME JUST GET PORK AND THE RED CHILI.
I WAS LOOKING
FOR AN OVERPRICED, BOGUS QUESADILLA OR TAMALE
TO USE AS MY METAPHOR
FOR EVERYTHING WRONG WITH THIS PLACE,
USE IT AS A WEDGE TO BEAT ON A WHOLE TOWN WITH.
JUST ONE PROBLEM.
GOOD.
THIS ISN'T A BAD DEAL FOR NINE BUCKS.
I GOT TWO MONSTROUS TAMALES.
LOOK, THAT PORK FILLING IS DELIGHTFUL.
THE MASA IS IMPECCABLE.
I WAS LOOKING
FOR AN OUTRAGEOUSLY PROHIBITIVELY PRICED,
DESIGNER TACO,
AND I GET BASICALLY A DELICIOUS, GOOD-VALUE MEAL HERE.
THE TAMALE'S GOOD,
AND THE PEOPLE HERE ARE, LIKE, REALLY NICE.
MORE OFTEN THAN NOT, THE STUFF THEY'RE SELLING
IS SUPERBLY TASTY AT WHATEVER PRICE.
IT'S HARD FOR ME TO BE AGAINST THIS.
MMM. WELL, OKAY.
I THINK WE'VE HAD ENOUGH OF MR. TAMALE.
[ ENGINE REVS ]
I'M HEADING OVER TO OAKLAND
'CAUSE THAT'S WHAT YOU DO
OR SHOULD DO WHEN IN SAN FRANCISCO.
IT'S USEFUL TO REMIND YOURSELF
THAT MAYBE NOT EVERYBODY LIVES LIKE YOU
OR CAN AFFORD TO BUY THE BEST
OR HAS TIME TO GROW VEGETABLES
IN THE YARD THEY DON'T EVEN HAVE.
PLUS, THE TACO TRUCKS HERE ARE GOOD.
IT'S A WHOLE CULTURE OF MOBILE MEXICAN FOOD,
THE EPICENTER OF WHICH IS CENTRALLY LOCATED
ALONG INTERNATIONAL BOULEVARD.
THE TACO TRUCKS, THE FRUIT VENDORS, THE TAMALE VENDORS,
THEY ALL HAVE THIS LITTLE MICRO-BUSINESS,
SO THAT'S WHY THEY'RE ABLE TO BE CHEAPER.
SHELLY GARZA RUNS A NONPROFIT GROUP
THAT HELPED ORGANIZE TACO-TRUCK OWNERS AND WORKERS,
AND SHE SAYS THAT THIS ONE PLACE
RIGHT AROUND THE CORNER IS AMONG THE BEST.
PRETTY BIG MENU FOR A TINY, LITTLE TRUCK.
YEAH, SHE DOES EVERYTHING, BUT SHE'S AN ENTREPRENEUR THAT WAY.
YOU CAN COME OUT HERE, AND YOU CAN GET THE REAL THING FOR,
WHAT, TWO BUCKS A POP, FOUR BUCKS A POP?
YEAH, THE MOST EXPENSIVE THING ON THERE, I THINK, IS $4 --
THE BURRITO -- AND THEY'RE HUGE.
$2 EACH --
PRICES LIKE THIS REQUIRES LOTS OF CUSTOMERS,
LOTS OF QUICK TURNOVER,
AND I'M HERE TO HELP.
THREE TACOS, PLEASE --
CHORIZO, CABEZA -- THAT'S HEAD -- AND CHICHARóN.
YOU KNOW, THAT'S A PRETTY [BLEEP] IMPECCABLE-LOOKING PLATE OF FOOD.
YEAH, LOOK AT THAT.
Sí. TAMBIéN.
ALL RIGHT, OVER TO THE DINING ROOM?
YEAH. LET'S GO TO THE DINING ROOM.
I THINK THAT TABLE LOOKS PRETTY GOOD.
[ LAUGHS ]
MMM.
ISN'T THAT GOOD?
THAT'S NOT GOOD. THAT'S REALLY INCREDIBLE.
MMM. THAT'S UNBELIEVABLE.
YOU KNOW, IT'S AS GOOD AS ANYTHING
I'VE EVER HAD IN MEXICO, WHICH IS -- I GOT TO LOOK AT IT.
I LOVE A PLACE THAT DOES LITTLE THINGS REALLY, REALLY WELL,
JUST THOSE LITTLE TOUCHES.
YOU KNOW, THE EGG -- NICE -- THE WAY THAT THE AVOCADO'S CUT.
VEGETABLES FRESH -- THE BEANS ARE GREAT.
THIS IS MADE WITH REAL CARE.
THERE'S NO OTHER EXPLANATION FOR MEXICAN FOOD THIS GOOD.
YEAH. IT'S AUTHENTIC.
I DON'T KNOW THIS CITY VERY WELL, ACTUALLY.
THIS IS PRETTY MUCH ALL I KNOW OF OAKLAND --
THIS PLACE, RIGHT.
I ALWAYS TELL PEOPLE YOU HAVE TO COME TO OAKLAND.
DON'T GO BY THE STEREOTYPE
OF WHAT PEOPLE ARE SAYING THAT IS BAD OAKLAND.
WHAT'S THE STEREOTYPE OF OAKLAND?
WELL, THEY ALWAYS SAY, OH, OAKLAND IS PRETTY SCARY
'CAUSE THERE'S, YOU KNOW, BAD ELEMENTS,
I GUESS, IS TO PUT IT NICELY.
BUT, GENERALLY, THERE'S FAMILY.
YEAH, WE DO, RIGHT?
WE DO.
BACK ACROSS THE BAY BRIDGE,
SOMETHING COMPLETELY DIFFERENT -- OLD-SCHOOL.
PRETTY DAMN PURIST SUSHI INGREDIENTS IN PREPARATION,
ABOUT AS TRADITIONAL AS IT GETS,
AND YET, WHO ARE THESE GUYS?
MICHAEL BLACK IS HALF JAPANESE,
USUALLY NOT ENOUGH FOR REVERSE SUSHI DISCRIMINATORS LIKE ME.
AND DANIEL DUNHAM HERE, WITH THE TATTOO SLEEVES,
IS FROM NEW JERSEY,
WHICH MAKES HIM ABOUT AS JAPANESE
AS, LIKE, TONY SOPRANO OR -- OR ME, FOR THAT MATTER.
TOGETHER, THEY ARE SUSHI SEBO.
I MEAN, IT'S CUTE AND ALL, BUT GUYS LIKE ME --
DEEP DOWN, WE BELIEVE THAT YOU GOT TO BE JAPANESE
TO MAKE TRULY EXCELLENT SUSHI.
HEY, GUYS.
THE GUY WHO BROUGHT ME HERE -- CHRIS COSENTINO,
AN OLD FRIEND AND RESPECTED CAPOREGIME
IN THE INTERNATIONAL HOOF-AND-SNOUT MAFIA.
[ LAUGHTER ]
Black: SO, OVER HERE, YOU HAVE THE KAMPACHI.
IT'S THE JAPANESE AMBERJACK.
THESE ARE SCALLOPS FROM HOKKAIDO.
THE MIRUGAI, GIANT CLAM.
AND THIS IS THE BLUEFIN TUNA.
MMM!
GIANT CLAM.
THAT'S NICE.
I'D SAY ABOUT 95% OF OUR MENU
WE DO GET SHIPPED IN FROM JAPAN.
YEAH.
WOW!
THE ENTIRE FISHING INDUSTRY IN JAPAN HAS BEEN SET UP
TO PROVIDE FISH THAT'S GONNA BE SERVED IN THIS MANNER, RIGHT?
SO, WHERE WE NET-CATCH FISH HERE,
THEY'RE INDIVIDUALLY LINE-CATCHING FISH OVER THERE.
SO YOU'RE NOT EXACTLY A LOCAVORE.
NO, NOT AT ALL.
Cosentino: Shh! DON'T TELL!
THERE WAS UME --
DELICIOUS, BUTTERY, PLUMP, LITTLE STACKS OF THE STUFF.
AND THERE WAS QUICKLY SEARED, FATTY TUNA
AND CUTLASS FISH...
OH!
...THEN ANKIMO -- MONKFISH LIVER --
WHICH USUALLY I DON'T LIKE SO MUCH DUE TO ITS TEXTURE
BUT WHICH THESE GUYS GOT REALLY, REALLY RIGHT.
THE FOIE GRAS OF THE SEA.
THIS IS THE CREAMIEST ANKIMO I'VE EVER HAD.
OOH, WHAT'S THAT?
Dunham: THIS IS A LITTLE OVERKILL, OVER THE TOP.
I LIKE OVERKILL.
THIS IS THE OTORO WITH JIDORI TAMAGO,
JAPANESE CHICKEN-EGG YOLK, SOY SAUCE.
NICE.
YES. IT JUST FEELS GOOD PICKING IT UP, DOESN'T IT?
IT MELTS IN YOUR FINGERS. IT'S UNBELIEVABLE.
I JUST WANT TO RUB IT ALL OVER MY FACE.
I CAN DO LIKE EIGHT OR NINE MORE OF THOSE.
HANG ON. WE GOT MORE FOR YOU ALONG THAT LINE.
AM I SWACKED ON SAKE YET? LOOKS LIKE IT.
JUST IN TIME, SOME GRILLED HEAD,
A CLASSIC AND A FAVORITE.
OH, YES!
HEAD AND THE COLLAR OF THE JAPANESE SEA BREAM
THAT HAVE BEEN SIMMERED IN SOY, SAKE, DASHI.
OH!
THIS IS THE BEST THING EVER.
I WANT THE EYE.
YOU KNOW, GOOD HEAD ONLY COMES ALONG ONCE IN A GREAT WHILE.
AND ONE MUST BE PREPARED TO MEET THE CHALLENGE
AND MAKE THE MOST OF ONE'S OPPORTUNITIES.
AND SOFT ROE -- BASICALLY FISH ***,
BUT, YES, IT'S ABSOLUTELY DELICIOUS.
SO, THIS IS JAPANESE WILD MACKEREL THAT WE CURE IN-HOUSE.
OOH, NICE, YES.
THESE ARE THE *** SACS OF SAID MACKEREL.
EXACTLY.
WELCOME TO SAN FRANCISCO.
FATHER AND CHILD.
IT'S [BLEEP] IN A BOWL.
[ LAUGHTER ]
SO, I GUESS YOU DON'T HAVE TO BE JAPANESE
TO MAKE GREAT SUSHI.
[ LAUGHTER ]
ONCE I DIGEST,
WE'LL BE MEETING BACK UP WITH OSCAR
FOR A 7-POUND SANDWICH.
Bourdain: I HAVE A PLAN.
SORT OF POUR THAT IN AND THEN, QUICK,
BEFORE IT REALIZES WHAT'S HAPPENING...
STRIKE.
[ BELL DINGING ]
SAN FRANCISCO'S MISSION DISTRICT --
IT'S ONLY A FEW MILES FROM BERKELEY,
BUT IT MAY AS WELL BE THE OTHER SIDE OF THE WORLD.
ON THE STREETS,
AMID GROWING GENTRIFICATION AND BEAUTIFUL, OLD BUILDINGS,
YOU ALSO SEE ALL OF AMERICA'S SOCIAL PROBLEMS
COME HOME TO ROOST.
A TRADITIONALLY WELCOMING PLACE
FOR THE DISPLACED AND DISENFRANCHISED,
GOOD VALUE HERE IS A PRIORITY
AND COMBINED FUNCTIONS EVEN BETTER.
SO, WHERE ARE WE?
WHERE ARE WE GOING? WHAT ARE WE EATING?
WELL, BASICALLY, I'M GONNA TAKE YOU
TO GO EAT INSIDE A LIQUOR STORE,
WHICH, I'M SURE, IS SOMETHING
YOU'VE BEEN LOOKING FORWARD TO YOUR ENTIRE LIFE.
IT ABSOLUTELY IS.
ALL OF MY NEEDS IN ONE PLACE.
THAT'S RIGHT.
AS GOD INTENDED.
YOU NEED A BOTTLE OF ***
AND AN AFFORDABLE, FILLING, AND PROTEIN-HEAVY LUNCH?
OSCAR, A MISSION RESIDENT, SUGGESTS THIS PLACE.
ABSOLUTELY.
LET'S SEE.
WILL IT BE A BUDWEISER, BUD LIGHT, MILLER GENUINE?
I'M THINKING... AH, TECATE.
THAT'S GOOD FOR ME, MAN.
NEGRA MODELO.
OH, I THOUGHT YOU WERE GOING FOR --
I THOUGHT THAT WAS A COLT 45, DUDE, AND I WAS THINKING --
I WAS FILLED WITH RESPECT... AND LOATHING, YOU KNOW?
SO, WHAT AM I EATING HERE?
FIRST OF ALL, A TORTA.
THAT MEANS, BASICALLY, A SANDWICH.
YEAH, IT'S A SANDWICH, BUT, YOU KNOW --
WHAT WOULD YOUR INDIGENOUS SPECIALTY BE HERE?
I WOULD SAY YOU NEED TO GET THE CUBANA,
WHICH IS THE COMBINATION.
IT'S THE MOTHER OF ALL SANDWICHES.
OKAY. I'LL HAVE ONE OF THOSE.
ABSOLUTELY.
[ INDISTINCT CONVERSATIONS ]
OH, BABY, THAT'S -- THAT'S --
Man: HEY, THERE'S ALWAYS GOOD FOOD UP IN HERE!
EVERY TIME I COME IN HERE, THERE'S GOOD FOOD.
SO I'M IN THE RIGHT PLACE?
WELL, YEAH, I DON'T SEE WHY NOT.
I MEAN, EVERY TIME I COME UP IN HERE, I ALWAYS EAT GOOD.
MM-HMM. THERE WE GO -- AN UNSOLICITED TESTIMONIAL.
I'M TELLING YOU, THIS PLACE IS ALWAYS HOPPING.
DISCERNING LOCALS AGREE --
PILING MEAT PRODUCTS, EGG, AND CHEESE
INDISCRIMINANTLY IN BETWEEN SLICES OF BREAD
EQUALS GOOD.
SO, THAT'S, LIKE, BEEF GOING ON THERE, PORK, BEANS.
MILANESE.
KIND OF A PIG.
WHAT IS THAT?
Oscar: OKAY, WELL, WE GOT THE CHORIZO.
WHERE DO HOT DOGS COME FROM?
OH, THE HOT DOGS? THEY'RE JUST A LITTLE --
THEY'RE THE FRANKFURTERS.
HAM. OMELETTE.
MAYO. OOH.
SO THERE IS CHEESE INVOLVED.
EVERYTHING. OH, YES. OF COURSE.
AND YET THERE'S MORE.
YEAH. HERE COMES THE AVOCADO.
AVOCADO.
YEAH.
YEAH. DID I MENTION THIS WAS A HUGE SANDWICH?
MAMA SAID, YOU KNOW, NEVER EAT ANYTHING BIGGER THAN YOUR HEAD,
BUT I THINK WE'RE APPROACHING GIADA DE LAURENTIS' SIZE HEAD.
THAT'S A BIG [BLEEP] HEAD.
OH.
LOOK AT THAT.
ROLL UP THE SLEEVES.
MMM.
MMM.
MM-HMM?
MMM.
MMM.
[ LAUGHS ]
OH, I HATE MYSELF ALREADY.
SORT OF A GEOMETRIC PROBLEM HERE.
I NEED TO UNHINGE MY JAW LIKE A BOA CONSTRICTOR.
THERE ISN'T ENOUGH LIPITOR IN THE WORLD TO --
WELL, I'LL KNOW FOR SURE NEXT, 'CAUSE I'M ALREADY ON LIPITOR.
IT'S REALLY THE HOT DOGS
THAT ADD DELICIOUS INSULT TO INJURY HERE.
IS IT?
IT'S THE ENTIRE WIENER
PROTRUDING FROM THE CENTER
OF YOUR OMELETTE AND CHICKEN-FRIED STEAK AND CHEESE.
YEAH. THIS IS NOT GONNA BE A PROUD MOMENT FOR ME.
I'M TELLING YOU RIGHT NOW, I'LL NEVER LIVE IT DOWN.
I'LL FEEL LIKE A CAMERAMAN ON A [BLEEP] FILM.
LOOK AT YOU. LOOK AT YOU.
MMM. MMM.
IT'S REALLY GOOD SAUCE.
YEAH, IT IS.
BUT, HOLY GOD.
[ LAUGHS ]
WE EVENTUALLY MANAGED TO DRAG OUR BLOATED CARCASSES
OFF OUR STOOLS AND OUT INTO THE CRUEL LIGHT OF THE AFTERNOON.
A NAP BECKONS.
SAN FRANCISCO'S CHINATOWN, NIGHTTIME.
LOOKING FOR SEAFOOD --
DUNGENESS CRAB TO BE EXACT.
MEET POLICE OFFICER SAM YUEN.
TONIGHT HE'S OFF DUTY
AND GIVES ME A RIDE ALONG ON THE WAY TO DINNER.
Bourdain: WERE YOU BORN AND BRED HERE?
Yuen: I WAS ACTUALLY BORN IN HONG KONG,
BUT I DID GROW UP IN SAN FRANCISCO.
SO YOU GREW UP WITH SOME SERIOUS GOOD FOOD AROUND HERE.
OH, YES.
BUT BEFORE DINNER, A QUICK TOUR
OF SAN FRANCISCO'S SEEDY UNDERBELLY.
THIS IS WHERE ALL THE NIGHTCLUBS
AND THE NIGHTLIFE OF THE CITY,
AND THAT'S WHERE OUR PROBLEM USUALLY IS.
WHAT, GUYS JUST STUMBLING OUT OF CLUBS...
WEREN'T LET IN THE CLUB?
OR THEY GOT KICKED OUT OF THE CLUB.
IT WOULD BE WHERE ALL THE PEOPLE
THAT'S UNABLE TO TAKE CARE OF THEMSELF --
THEY END UP BEING VICTIMS OF ROBBERY, ASSAULT.
SO, WHERE'S THAT CRAB AT?
WELL, HERE WE ARE -- R&G LOUNGE.
[ INDISTINCT CONVERSATIONS ]
WHEN WE SEE A BIG TABLE HERE, THEY ALWAYS HAVE THE CRAB.
THE CRAB. SALT-AND-PEPPER CRAB, RIGHT?
SALT-AND-PEPPER.
I'M SO TOTALLY READY FOR THAT.
LIGHTLY BATTERED AND CRISPY FRIED AND SEASONED
WITH SECRET SALT-AND-PEPPER SAUCE.
WE MIGHT NOT HAVE IN OTHER CITIES --
OH, MY GOD!
SALT-AND-PEPPER CRAB.
WOW.
MAN, THAT'S SOME -- WHOO!
IT'S NOT REALLY A CHOPSTICK SITUATION.
YEAH.
THAT'S THE ONLY WAY TO HAVE THE CRAB.
IT'S HANDS-ON -- NO OTHER WAY.
OH, MAN, THAT'S GOOD.
THIS FOOD-LARGER-THAN-MY-HEAD THING
SEEMS TO BE BECOMING A THEME HERE,
BUT I'M, FRANKLY, BEYOND NOTICING
AS IT QUICKLY BECOMES A WHIRLWIND
OF CRUSHED CLAWS, FLYING CRAB SHELLS,
A SPRAY OF MOIST, RICH, AND OH-SO-TASTY CRAB MEAT.
YOU KNOW, THIS IS A SIGN OF A GOOD RESTAURANT.
I WANT TO BE THOSE GUYS OVER THERE.
I DEFINITELY WANT TO BE AT THAT TABLE.
AND I NOTICED THOSE GUYS OVER THERE.
I MEAN, LOOK AT THAT. IS THAT A PILE OF CALAMARI?
AND THEY'RE DOING THOSE LEACHY MARTINIS NEXT DOOR.
YES.
WHY DON'T WE GET TWO OF THEM AND TRY THEM?
OKAY.
THE LEACHY MARTINI, BEST AS I UNDERSTAND IT,
IS MADE FROM LEACHY FLAVORED ***
WITH A LEACHY NUT ARTFULLY PLACED IN THE GLASS
FOR VISUAL EFFECT.
HOW NICE.
WHILE I MAY DISAPPROVE OF THIS BEVERAGE IN PRINCIPAL,
IN PRACTICE, IT'S DELICIOUS.
YES. IT'S VERY GOOD.
OH, THIS COULD LEAD TO REAL TROUBLE.
EVER HAD A CAR CHASE?
I HAVE TO ASK BECAUSE, YOU KNOW,
EVERY TIME THERE'S A POLICE MOVIE, A COP MOVIE,
IN SAN FRANCISCO, OF COURSE, THERE'S A CAR CHASE.
THAT'S WHERE OUR DEPARTMENT COMES IN,
WHERE THEY'RE KIND OF STRICT ABOUT THE CAR CHASES.
[ LAUGHS ]
THAT'S...
A DELIGHTFUL EVENING,
AND TIME, NO DOUBT, TO CALL A CAB.
AFTER THE BREAK,
BLAST FROM THE PAST CHRIS COSENTINO.
Bourdain: WELL, LET'S SEE.
WE'RE STARTING WITH VENISON-HEART TARTARE,
MOVING ON TO GOOSE INTESTINES.
YOU BRING THE MONKEY, I'M LEAVING THE ROOM.
THIS MEANS YOU.
I KNOW. [ LAUGHS ]
[ BELL DINGING ]
SAN FRANCISCO'S NOE VALLEY,
A QUIET ENOUGH NEIGHBORHOOD
AND MAYBE NOT THE FIRST PLACE YOU'D EXPECT TO FIND
SOMETHING AS EXTRAORDINARY AND WEIRDLY WONDERFUL AS INCANTO.
DERRICK, WATCH YOUR [BLEEP] 'CAUSE I'M GOING DOWN ON YOU.
EIGHT RIGHT AWAY.
THIS IS ONE OF THE RARE MOUNTAINTOPS, A SACRED REDOUBT,
A STATION OF THE CROSS FOR OFFAL,
WHICH MAKES THIS GUY, CHRIS COSENTINO,
A HIGH PRIEST OF GUTS.
ONCE A YEAR, HE SETS ASIDE TWO NIGHTS
TO DO A SPECIAL FIVE-COURSE, ALL-GUT MENU,
WITH EVERY PART ACCOUNTED FOR.
IS THE GRINDER COLD YET?
I'M GONNA HAVE TO GRIND ALL THE TARTARE TODAY.
THIS IS NOT NOVELTY FOOD
OR SOME FATTY AMUSEMENT OR GIMMICK.
CHRIS IS A DEDICATED BELIEVER
IN THE DELICIOUSNESS AND MORAL IMPERATIVE OF USING EVERY PART,
AND HE'S BEEN STEADFASTLY EVANGELICAL ON THE SUBJECT.
WHEN YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT BLADDERS AND STOMACHS,
INTESTINES, EARS, AND SO ON,
IT'S GOOD TO HAVE A KEEN INTEREST IN HISTORY
AS WELL AS FRIENDS LIKE THIS GUY.
I FEEL IT'S THE BEST WE'VE EVER DONE...EVER.
HAROLD McGEE, AUTHOR OF THE SEMINAL WORK ON COOKING,
IS JOINING ME, OSCAR, HIS WIFE, MARY,
CHRIS' WIFE, TATIANA, AND CHEF FRIEND RAVI.
THERE'S A CENTRAL PARADOX ABOUT SAN FRANCISCO
THAT I'M COMING TO REALLY APPRECIATE.
YOU KNOW, HERE IN THE HEART OF SORT OF VEGETARIAN,
YOU KNOW, TOFU-LOVING, CRUNCHY,
THIS IS ALSO A TWO-*** DRINKING TOWN
AND SUPPORTIVE OF SOME OF THE, REALLY, BLOODIEST COOKING
I'VE SEEN ANYWHERE.
Woman: SO, WHERE DO YOU DRAW THE LINE? IS THERE A LINE?
THE LINE ABSOLUTE -- NO MONKEY BRAIN.
YOU BRING THE MONKEY, I'M LEAVING THE ROOM.
THIS MEANS YOU.
I KNOW. [ LAUGHS ]
WHAT WE'RE GONNA DO IS START YOU OFF WITH NDUJA.
IT'S GONNA BE THE FIRST SPREADABLE SALAMI
RELEASED IN THE UNITED STATES.
NICE.
THIS IS DEHYDRATED IBéRICO HAM FAT CRYSTALS
THAT ARE DEEP-FRIED IN DUCK FAT.
IT SHOULD TASTE LIKE POPCORN.
PULL UP YOUR BIG-BOY PANTS, 'CAUSE HERE IT COMES.
OH, THAT'S LOVELY. THIS IS SO GOOD.
THAT IS SO GOOD.
McGee: IF I HEARD CORRECTLY,
THIS IS AN IBéRICO HAM FRIED IN DUCK FAT.
SO IT'S FAT ON FAT.
Oscar: IT'S THE WORST KIND OF CRIME THERE IS.
SUBLIME THINGS BROUGHT TOGETHER.
Bourdain: OH, MAN.
APPETIZERS DEVOURED,
WE GO ON A GRAND TOUR OF THE INTERIOR.
THESE ARE VENISON HEARTS FOR VENISON-HEART TARTARE.
Bourdain: THIS IS REALLY GOOD.
IS THAT GOOSE INTESTINES IN THE SKILLET?
WHY, YES, I BELIEVE IT IS.
NOW, WE'RE SERVING THESE LITTLE, ROUND PASTAS.
THEY'RE CALLED ANOLINI,
BUT I'M CHOOSING TO CALL THEM ANALINI
BECAUSE THEY LOOK LIKE THE CULO DI GALLINA.
OH, REALLY?
BUT IT'S LIKE HAVING YOUR GRANDMA'S CHICKEN-NOODLE SOUP.
IT'S AWESOME.
OH, SEE, GOOD, THAT WORKS,
BECAUSE, YOU KNOW, MARKETING IS NOT YOUR FORTE.
[ LAUGHTER ]
Oscar: YOU KNOW, THIS IS SO GOOD.
THERE'S NO WAY JUST BY SAYING WHAT THE INGREDIENTS ARE
THAT YOU WOULD REALIZE HOW GOOD THIS IS.
IT IS LIKE GRANDMA'S CHICKEN SOUP, ISN'T IT?
SOME CHIVES NOW.
HE'S A BAD, BAD MAN, THIS COSENTINO.
I DON'T THINK TONY LIKES EATING BRAINS OR FRIES.
THAT'LL BE INTERESTING.
AND BY FRIES, CHRIS MEANS BIG, JUICY TESTICLES.
WOW. LOOK AT THAT.
BIG BRAIN, LITTLE BRAIN,
AND A LITTLE BIT OF BRAINNAISE.
OKAY.
AND WHAT KIND OF BRAIN IS --
CALF'S BRAIN, CALF'S FRY.
BIG BRAIN, LITTLE BRAIN.
IT'S ALWAYS THE LITTLE BRAIN THAT GETS YOU IN TROUBLE.
YEAH, EXACTLY.
WOW.
OH, YEAH.
THAT'S SO DELICIOUS.
BEST CALF'S BRAINS I'VE HAD IN MEMORY.
THIS IS REALLY GOOD.
WHAT TO SAY ABOUT A MEAL LIKE THIS BEYOND THE FACT
THAT IT WAS DELICIOUS, CREATIVE,
RESPECTFUL OF TRADITION,
YET LOOKING ALSO TO THE FUTURE.
I GUESS YOU HAD TO BE THERE.
MMM.
TASTES LIKE IT DIED SCREAMING.
FINALLY, NO TRIP TO SAN FRANCISCO SHOULD END
WITHOUT AN ALL-IMPORTANT PILGRIMAGE
TO MY FAVORITE BREAKFAST SPOT.
YOU KNOW, I NEED A LITTLE KETCHUP.
[ BELL DINGING ]
IT'S BEEN A LONG WEEK IN SAN FRANCISCO.
I MAYBE HAD A BIT TOO MUCH TO DRINK,
AND I'M LOOKING TO GET RIGHT WITH THE WORLD
BEFORE HEADING HOME TOMORROW.
RED'S JAVA HOUSE IS A RELIC
LIKE THE HOUSE OF PRIME RIB AND THE ZAM ZAM ROOM,
AN UNMOLESTED, STRANGELY PROTECTED SPACE --
A STATE OF MIND, REALLY -- IN THE SHADOW OF THE BRIDGE.
WHERE DOES MY BURGER COME FROM, SOME MIGHT HAVE YOU ASK.
WHO RAISED THE BEEF WHICH MY BURGER WAS GROUND?
UNDER WHAT CIRCUMSTANCES WAS IT RAISED? WHAT WAS IT FED?
HERE'S WHAT I WANT TO KNOW -- IS MY BURGER GOOD?
HERE, $7, MORE OR LESS,
GETS YOU A DOUBLE CHEESEBURGER AND A BEER.
WINE IS $1. AN ESPRESSO IS NOWHERE TO BE SEEN.
BOY.
ANYTIME YOU BEGIN TO DOUBT THE WONDERFULNESS OF SAN FRANCISCO,
REALLY, ALL YOU GOT TO DO IS COME HERE.
CHILI-CHEESE FRIES -- SO WRONG.
REAL CHEESE, CHEDDAR ON MY FRIES.
IS IT ORGANIC? WHY WOULD YOU CARE?
THE MORNING -- THE WORLD RIGHT NOW -- IS PERFECT.
THE SMELL IN HERE IS MAGNIFICENT.
IT'S LIKE A BED OF ROSES ONLY DIFFERENT.
IN FACT, IT'S A PERFECT METAPHOR
FOR SAN FRANCISCO'S DIVIDED NATURE
THAT A WONDERFUL, OLD-SCHOOL,
HIGH-FAT, HIGH-ANIMAL-PROTEIN,
BEER-FOR-BREAKFAST KIND OF A PLACE LIKE THIS
COULD HAPPILY, PROUDLY COEXIST WITH, WELL,
ONE OF THE CRUNCHIEST POPULATIONS IN AMERICA.
THIS IS THE ANTIDOTE TO ALICE WATERS.
MMM.
TASTES LIKE IT DIED SCREAMING.
DOCK WORKERS, FIREMEN,
HIPSTERS, YUPPIES, HIPPIES, AND CONSTRUCTION WORKERS
JOINED IN A TRULY DEMOCRATIC COMMUNION
OF AFFORDABLE EXCELLENCE.
IT'S CHEAP. IT'S GOOD.
IT'S GOT A VIEW IF YOU WANT.
WHAT DO I REALLY THINK ABOUT SAN FRANCISCO?
I KNOW IT TO BE A GREAT FOOD TOWN,
A GREAT CHEF TOWN,
A PLACE WITH A SENSE OF HUMOR, FOR SURE,
AS THE LOCALS ENDURE MY MERCILESS POKING FUN AT THEM
WITH REGULARITY.
WHAT DO I REALLY KNOW OF SAN FRANCISCO?
WELL, YOU SAW THE SHOW. YOU TELL ME.
I CAN SAY WITH ASSURANCE
ONLY THAT I ALWAYS, ALWAYS HAVE A VERY GOOD TIME HERE.
[ ENGINE REVS, TIRES SCREECH ]
[ CRASH ]