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Why is the secret of a good egg just so hard to crack?
Why are they just impossible to boil without making your floor a soggy mess?
Did it cook this time? NO!
But it doesn't stop there. What about the scrambled egg?
Just throw your blender into the oven, right? You might think so but
HAHA Ha.
Not a chance. Is everything awful?
Is it? Even a simple microwave omelette can turn
an otherwise pleasant day into a hurtling vortex of insecurity and piercing despair.
Will it work? Will it work!?
*** I mean look at this ***.
What's the point. Seriously. Why?
Why anything? Wait, is that what I think it is? A PAN!
The revolutionary dual egg containment and heat distribution unit.
Haha! Thanks to scientists and doctors at the University
of Michigan, its flat bottom, raised edges, and non-stick surface keep your eggs nestled
gracefully allowing the heat-fire to rubberize the proteins making the egg not only edible...
but fun! But don't just take my word for it.
Look at what these two twitter accounts have to say.
Haha ha?
Order today and we'll throw in not one, not two, but three forks!
That's right. Not one, not two, but three whole forks.
GNARLY And if you call in the next half hour you'll
receive a free copy of the book One Egg 38,000 Recipes. A guide once deemed "moderately useful"
by a man. Now all your Pantasies will come true.
A Pan can be yours for just five easy payments of 113.99 dollars. Shipping and Handling is
not included and never will be. The Pan is not sold in stores and barely sold here, so
in reality this is your best and only shot. Do you already own A Pan and have comments
about A Pan? Good. Then go to our pan fanpages at facebook.com/umichpanfans or
myspace.com/umichpan. If you have any a pan fan characters, please
email their reference sheets to reevescorphr@gmail.com The top five will be entered into a raffle
for a free A Pan. The winner will get A Pan. The other four entrants will have their creations
stolen and used on the new A Pan Cartoon Action series. Every character will be voiced by
the guy from the Hard Day At Work video, so keep that in mind.