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...ANNOUNCER: to witness a demonstration of the multi-million pound mechanical marvel known as Titan the Robot.
For anyone that has not seen this demonstration before,
we must ask for everybody to listen to a few safety announcements before we begin.
For this, I will need the assistance of our demonstrator for the day, Dave.
Say hi, Dave.
CROWD: Hi, Dave!
He will now show the correct safety distance required by making himself known.
Don't milk it, Dave.
Everybody must be stood at least this far away.
Yes, that means you too, sir.
Also because of the nature of the demonstration, and for your own safety,
everybody must stand up and remain standing throughout the show.
In the case of an emergency, Dave will now show you the nearest exits, located here,
here
and in this direction.
In the event of any little accidents, please be aware of the nearest toilet located over there.
Flash photography is permitted, although this has been known to cause temporary blindness and confusion to Titan's navigational systems.
You have been warned!
If everybody is ready, Dave will now begin the demonstration.
[background music: O Fortuna]
Ladies and Gentlemen. This is the moment you've all been waiting for.
Banned from 65 international territories,
declared a public nuisance in 23 British cities,
the biggest export to come from Cornwall since the Cornish pasty.
And yes! He's here. Live! Just for you!
8 feet of steaming robotic loveliness!
The one, and only, Titan the Robot!!
Cross your legs, this is going to be a bumpy ride.
[sound effect: squeal of brakes]
[AS CAPTAIN KIRK:] Star Command, Titan the Robot, Mission Log Stardate 4703
Just landed at this strange planet.
The inhabitants appear friendly... but there appears to be no sign of... intelligent life... anywhere.
[AS BRUCE FORSYTHE] Well, it's nice to see you, to see you nice.
Hey! You! What the heck are you staring at? Huh? Mmm? Yeah? Who? Mmm? Ohhh.
[music: What a Wonderful World by Louis Armstrong]
I see trees of green,
red roses too.
I see them bloom,
for me and you.
And I think to myself,
what a wonderful world.
I see skies of blue,
And clouds of white.
The bright blessed day,
The dark sacred night.
And I think to myself,
What a wonderful world.
Yes, I think to myself
What a wonderful world.