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>> Narrator: RIGHT NOW ON
"UPLOAD"...
> Shh!
>> Narrator: PHOTOBOMBING WITH
THE BIG GUY.
[ CAMERA SHUTTER CLICKS ]
>> YOU GOT PHOTOBOMBED!
>> Narrator: IS ANYONE SAFE?
>> [ SCREAMS ]
>> Narrator: AND...
GODFREY, YOU'RE UP FIRST.
>> Narrator: ...A CLIP-FOR-CLIP
SHOWDOWN...
>> YEAH!
YOU'RE NUMBER ONE, BABY!
[ LAUGHTER ]
>> DROP IT LIKE IT'S HOT.
>> Narrator: THEN,
ELIZA SKINNER DROPS BY FOR AN
"UPLOAD" DANCE COMPETITION.
>> ♪ I'M GOING SHAQ WITH
EVERYTHING I DO, AND EVERYTHING
I BUY BE OVERSIZE ♪
♪ YEAH, I'M BIG SHAQ ♪
>> Narrator: "UPLOAD" STARTS
NOW.
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]
>> WELCOME TO "UPLOAD."
CAN YOU DIG IT?!
>> YEAH!
>> WITH ME, MY GOOD FRIENDS
GARY OWEN AND GODFREY.
>> BAM.
>> ALL RIGHT, LET'S START THE
SHOW WITH SOME HIGHLIGHTS FROM
THE WIDE WORLD OF WEIRD --
"THAT'S ALMOST SPORTS."
WE NOW GO LIVE TO THE
WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPIONSHIP
OF CHAIR DIVING.
[ INDISTINCT CONVERSATIONS ]
>> FAT GUY ON A PLASTIC CHAIR?
GOOD TO SEE HIGH DIVING HAS
FINALLY REACHED THE URBAN
COMMUNITY.
>> WHOA!
>> WHOA!
[ LAUGHTER ]
>> HOW DID THEY GET A VIDEOTAPE
OF YOU AT 13 YEARS OLD, SHAQ?
THAT'S CRAZY.
[ AUDIENCE GROANS ]
[ LAUGHS ]
>> ALL RIGHT, GOOD ONE, GOOD
ONE.
>> THAT WAS A BREAST REDUCTION.
DAMN.
[ LAUGHTER ]
>> OH!
>> WHOO-HOO-HOO!
>> EVERYBODY KNOWS YOU'RE
SUPPOSED TO WAIT 30 MINUTES
AFTER EATING BEFORE YOU GO
SWIMMING, WHICH IS WHY THIS GUY
WILL NEVER SWIM.
[ LAUGHTER ]
ALL RIGHT, GUYS, DOGFIGHTING.
I THINK WE ALL AGREE IT'S NO
GOOD.
BUT WHAT ABOUT DOG
ARM-WRESTLING?
>> DOGS DON'T EVEN HAVE ARMS.
>> YOU THINK SO?
WATCH THIS CLIP.
[ DOG GROWLING ]
>> GONNA BEAT YOU, MAN.
[ GROWLING ]
[ DOG BARKS ]
>> [ SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY ]
[ LAUGHTER ]
>> LOSER HAS TO SNIFF THE
WINNER'S ***.
[ LAUGHTER ]
>> YEAH, WELL, THE WINNER GETS
TO HUMP THE COUCH.
[ LAUGHTER ]
"REMEMBER WHEN YOU GAVE AWAY MY
BROTHER OUTSIDE THE SAFEWAY?!"
[ DOG GROWLING ]
"IT'S PAYBACK TIME!"
[ LAUGHTER ]
>> YOU KNOW, IF YOU WANT TO
ARM-WRESTLE A DOG LIKE THAT, YOU
GOT TO HIT THE GYM AND WORK OUT
THE GUNS.
>> JUST MAKE SURE YOU WORK OUT
BEFORE YOU EAT LUNCH.
[ INDISTINCT SHOUTING ]
>> OH!
[ LAUGHTER ]
>> FEEL THE BURN IN THE BACK OF
YOUR THROAT!
[ LAUGHTER ]
>> HE'S AN OKAY WEIGHT LIFTER,
BUT HE'S AN AMAZING
LONG-DISTANCE HURLER.
[ INDISTINCT SHOUTING ]
>> [ LAUGHS ]
>> ALL RIGHT, GUYS, THAT CLIP
WAS FUNNY.
>> RIGHT.
>> BUT, YOU KNOW, IT'S A LOT
LESS FUNNY WHEN YOU'RE ACTUALLY
AT THE WEIGHT-LIFTING
COMPETITION.
[ INDISTINCT CONVERSATIONS ]
WOW! THESE ARE GREAT SEATS.
>> WHAT'S MY NAME, PLAYER?
>> SHAQ.
>> THAT'S RIGHT.
[ APPLAUSE ]
[ INDISTINCT CONVERSATIONS ]
>> WHAT?
WHY DO YOU HAVE A RAINCOAT AND
GOGGLES?
>> YOU AIN'T NEVER SEEN NOBODY
LIFT WEIGHTS BEFORE?
>> NOT IN PERSON.
>> ...2...1...LIFT.
>> [ GRUNTS ]
>> OH.
>> YEAH!
>> ...2...1...LIFT.
>> YEAH!
>> DOWN.
>> WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL ME?!
>> TELL YOU WHAT?
THIS IS GREAT.
HE SHOULD BE IN THE OLYMPICS.
[ APPLAUSE ]
>> [ LAUGHS ]
>> CAN WE PLEASE CHECK OUT THE
SUPER-SLO-MO "GARY GETS SOAKED
IN PUKE SHOT"?
[ APPLAUSE ]
ALL RIGHT, GARY, I'M GONNA MAKE
IT UP TO YOU WITH ANOTHER CLIP.
>> HOW DOES THAT MAKE IT UP
TO ME?
>> WELL, THIS GUY ENDS UP
LOOKING LIKE A BIGGER FOOL THAN
YOU.
[ BIRDS CHIRPING ]
>> [ Chuckling ] HEY, HEY.
[ AUDIENCE GASPS ]
THIRD TIME'S THE CHARM.
[ LAUGHTER ]
>> MIGHT BE A GOOD TIME TO TAKE
OFF THAT "MY SON'S ON THE HONOR
ROLL" BUMPER STICKER.
[ LAUGHTER ]
>> IT GETS 30 ON THE HIGHWAY,
25 IN THE CITY, AND ONE [BLEEP]
IN THE PARKING LOT.
[ LAUGHTER ]
>> IT'S LIKE, "DAMN, STEVE, NOW
I'LL NEVER ALMOST GET LAID IN
THIS THING!"
[ LAUGHTER ]
>> OKAY, MY TURN.
I GOT SOME FRESH BEATS, STRAIGHT
OUT THE MATERNITY WARD.
[ MONITOR BEEPING ]
>> [ Rapping ] ♪ YEAH ♪
♪ ON THE MICROPHONE ♪
♪ DILATED ♪
♪ *** ♪
>> [ LAUGHS ]
>> ♪ WHATCHA DOIN'? ♪
♪ *** ♪
♪ HAVE A BABY ♪
♪ CONTRACTION ♪
♪ WHAT I'M TALKIN' 'BOUT ♪
♪ BREATHIN' ♪
♪ HOSPITAL ♪
♪ MIRROR ♪
[ LAUGHTER ]
>> THAT LADY'S HAVING AN
M.C.-SECTION.
>> WHAT IF THE DOCTOR CAME IN
AND SAID...
[ Rapping ] ♪ "HERE'S YOUR
BILL, UNH ♪
♪ MEDICARE, UNH ♪
♪ YOU AIN'T GOT IT, UNH ♪
♪ HELL NO ♪
♪ I'M NOT THE FATHER ♪
♪ MAURY POVICH ♪
♪ WHERE YOU AT? ♪
[ LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE ]
>> AND NOW IT'S TIME TO PLAY A
GAME I CALL "SOMETHING TERRIBLE
IS ABOUT TO HAPPEN TO ONE OF
THESE GUYS."
[ THUNDER RUMBLES ]
>> WELCOME TO THE WHITEST
WEDDING IN THE HISTORY OF WHITE
PEOPLE.
BUT SOMETHING TERRIBLE IS ABOUT
TO HAPPEN TO ONE OF THESE GUYS.
WHICH ONE IS IT?
>> LET'S FIND OUT.
ROLL THE TAPE.
[ PACHELBEL'S "CANON IN 'D'"
PLAYS ]
>> SO FAR, SO GOOD.
[ LAUGHTER ]
>> I GUESS YOU CAN ONLY HOLD A
FART SO LONG.
[ LAUGHTER ]
>> "I NOW PRONOUNCE YOU MAN AND
CONCUSSION.
YOU MAY KISS THE GROUND."
[ LAUGHTER ]
>> "GOD, IF THERE ARE TOO MANY
PEOPLE WEARING KHAKI SHORTS AT
THIS WEDDING, GIVE US A SIGN."
[ THUNDER RUMBLES ]
>> OH!
[ LAUGHTER ]
>> Narrator: COMING UP, SHAQ
GETS A SURPRISE VISITOR...
>> ♪ I'M GOIN' SHAQ ♪
>> ♪ SHAQ ♪
>> Narrator: ...COMIC
ELIZA SKINNER TAKES ON
GODFREY...
>> ARE YOU GONNA CRY, ***?
>> Narrator: ...AND THIS CLIP
NEEDS A CLEANUP ON AISLE 3.
PLUS, STICK AROUND TO FIND OUT
WHAT WILL BE OUR CLIP OF THE
WEEK.
>> WHEN "UPLOAD" CONTINUES.
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]
>> Y'ALL KNOW WHAT PHOTOBOMBING
IS, RIGHT?
THAT'S WHEN YOU TAKE A PICTURE
AND YOU'RE TOTALLY UNAWARE
THERE'S SOMEONE BEHIND YOU
ACTING LIKE A DAMN FOOL.
THE CITY OF ORLANDO IS ABOUT TO
GET PHOTOBOMBED BY THE BIG SHAQ.
>> WANT TO GET YOUR PICTURE
TAKEN?
IT'S FREE.
>> OKAY.
>> STEP RIGHT IN.
HERE WE GO.
>> ALL RIGHT. THANKS.
>> 5...4...3...2...1.
HOLD IT.
[ CAMERA SHUTTER CLICKING ]
[ LAUGHTER ]
HERE'S YOUR PHOTO STRIPS.
>> OH, MY GOSH! [ LAUGHS ]
>> THAT WOULD BE ME, BRO.
>> OH, DAMN!
[ LAUGHTER ]
>> THAT WOULD BE ME.
>> HOW ARE YOU?
>> HOW ARE YOU?
[ ROARS ]
>> AAH! AAH!
>> [ LAUGHS ]
>> OF COURSE, IT IS.
YOU GOT PHOTOBOMBED.
>> YEAH.
>> GOT TO GO BACK IN THERE AND
GET SOME MORE PEOPLE.
CHECK THEM OUT.
>> I GOT PHOTOBOMBED BY SHAQ!
>> YOU GUYS GOT "PHOTO BOOTH"
WRITTEN ALL OVER YOU.
COME ON IN.
OH, IT'S JUST LIKE A CARNIVAL.
3...2...
[ CAMERA SHUTTER CLICKS ]
>> TURN THIS WAY?
>> OH, NO, NO.
>> TURN THAT -- OH, OKAY.
[ CAMERA SHUTTER CLICKS ]
>> THERE YOU GO.
[ CAMERA SHUTTER CLICKS ]
>> AAH!
>> AAH! [ LAUGHS ]
>> [ LAUGHS ]
>> I DON'T KNOW WHAT HAPPENED.
CHECK THAT OUT.
>> [ LAUGHS ]
>> [ LAUGHS ]
>> YOU GOT PHOTOBOMBED!
>> OH [BLEEP]
>> OH, MAN!
>> [ LAUGHS ]
YOU JUST GOT PHOTOBOMBED. KISS?
>> MWAH.
>> KISS?
>> NEVER BEEN PHOTOBOMBED BY...
[ BOTH LAUGH ]
>> I SHOULD HAVE KNOWN.
>> YEAH.
>> THAT'S SHAQ STUFF, MAN.
YOU KNOW, HE DOES THIS ALL
OVER THE WORLD, MAN.
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]
>> WELCOME BACK TO "UPLOAD."
GODFREY, SHOW US SOMETHING GOOD.
>> OKAY, HERE WE GO.
YO, HOW DOES A WHITE GIRL
GET LOOSE TO AKON?
SHE JUST NEEDS A LITTLE BROTHER.
[ AKON AND EMINEM'S "SMACK THAT"
PLAYS ]
[ MUSIC STOPS ]
[ LAUGHTER ]
>> NOT A GOOD SIGN WHEN YOUR
8-YEAR-OLD BROTHER IS COOLER
THAN YOU.
>> HOW DOES AN 8-YEAR-OLD KNOW
HOW TO SMACK THAT?
[ LAUGHTER ]
>> ALL RIGHT, GUYS, TO MAKE IT
IN THE HIP-HOP WORLD TODAY, YOU
HAVE TO BE REALLY HUNGRY, SO I'M
GUESSING THIS NEXT GUY HAS A
GOOD SHOT.
I GIVE YOU CEDDYBU, THE RAP
SUMO.
>> [ Rapping ] ♪ CEDDYBU DA
[BLEEP] RAP SUMO ♪
♪ CEDDY DON'T BE GETTIN' ICY ♪
♪ YOU KNOW ♪
♪ YEAH, DUMB [BLEEP] ♪
♪ THAT MALADO JOKA SAY ♪
♪ JESUS PIECE AROUND MY NECK,
AND THAT PROTECT ME FROM MY
HATERS WHO BE HATIN' ♪
♪ YEAH, WE STILL GOT THE STACKS
ON DECK ♪
>> HE LOOKS MORE LIKE
LL COOL WHIP.
[ LAUGHTER ]
>> HE SHOULD HAVE PULLED HIS
MONEY OUT OF HIS BREAST.
"YEAH, RIGHT HERE, GIRL."
>> ♪ YEAH, WE STILL GOT THE
STACKS ON DECK ♪
>> DUDE, YOU'VE GOT PLENTY OF
MONEY.
BUY A SHIRT.
HE'S STANDING AT THE
INTERSECTION OF LAP-BAND AND
DIABETES.
[ LAUGHTER ]
>> THAT'S FAT [phat].
NO, I MEAN F-A-T -- FAT.
[ LAUGHTER ]
I THINK WE ALL AGREE, HE'S A BIG
DUDE, BUT WATCH THIS NEXT VIDEO.
HE ACTUALLY HAS SOME SKILLS.
>> [ Rapping rapidly ] ♪ ANYBODY
ELSE LIKE ME?
♪ FRESH LIKE ME, DRESS LIKE ME ♪
♪ DOPE RAPPER, RUN-DMC ♪
♪ I'M A SICK CITIZEN, NO *** ♪
♪ KICKIN' WITH A CAPPELLA ♪
♪ I'M A JIGGA WITH A PENCIL ♪
♪ WITH A ROCKEFELLER ♪
♪ HURRICANE KATRINA ♪
♪ I MEAN THIS, WHATEVER ♪
♪ ***, THEY SAY THEY WANNA GET
ME, BUT THEY KNOW WHERE I STAY ♪
♪ THEY KNOW WHERE I'M AT, I CAN
SIT HERE ALL DAY ♪
[ RAPPING INDISTINCTLY ]
YOU KNOW I DO IT. YEAH, MAN.
LET'S GET IT.
>> DAMN! I GOT TO GIVE HIM SOME
PROPS ON THAT.
[ APPLAUSE ]
YEAH.
YO, I THINK HE GOT MAD SKILLS,
AND HE'S BETTER THAN YOU.
[ LAUGHTER ]
I'M -- I'M SAYIN', DON'T YOU
THINK HE GOT MAD SKILLS?
>> HE'S NICE.
>> WELL, I HEARD CEDDYBU WROTE A
SONG JUST FOR YOU, AND HE'S HERE
TO DO IT LIVE.
GIVE IT UP FOR CEDDYBU!
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]
>> OH. [ CHUCKLES ]
>> [ RAPPING INDISTINCTLY ]
>> [ Rapping ] ♪ I'M BIG,
BLACK ♪
♪ I KEEP IT REAL ♪
>> [ Rapping ] ♪ YEAH ♪
>> ♪ I'M KING SHAQ ♪
>> ♪ YEAH ♪
>> ♪ SHAQUILLE O'NEAL ♪
>> ♪ YEAH ♪
>> ♪ I'M BIG, BLACK ♪
>> ♪ YEAH ♪
>> ♪ KEEP IT REAL ♪
>> ♪ YEAH ♪
>> ♪ I'M BIG SHAQ ♪
>> ♪ YEAH ♪
>> ♪ SHAQUILLE O'NEAL ♪
>> ♪ YEAH ♪
♪ I'M GOIN' SHAQ ♪
>> ♪ SHAQ ♪
>> ♪ SHAQSIE ♪
>> ♪ SHAQ ♪
>> ♪ I'M GOIN' SHAQ ♪
>> ♪ YEAH ♪
>> ♪ SHAQSIE ♪
>> ♪ SHAQ ♪
>> ♪ I'M GOIN' SHAQ ♪
>> ♪ SHAQ ♪
>> ♪ SHAQSIE ♪
>> ♪ SHAQ ♪
>> ♪ GOIN' SHAQ ♪
>> ♪ YEAH ♪
>> ♪ SHAQSIE ♪
>> ♪ YAY ♪
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]
>> MY MAN, MY MAN.
>> Narrator: COMING UP, COMIC
ELIZA SKINNER.
WHAT'S IN STORE FOR THESE
RUMP SHAKERS?
AND WHY IS THIS GUY SINGLE?
PLUS, WE'LL UNVEIL TONIGHT'S
PARTING GIFTS.
AND WHAT WILL BE SHAQ'S
CLIP OF THE WEEK?
>> WHEN "UPLOAD" CONTINUES.
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]
>> PLAY IT AGAIN, SHAQ.
>> ARE YOU SURE?
>> YOU PLAYED IT FOR HER, NOW
PLAY IT FOR ME!
>> ALL RIGHT.
[ PIANO PLAYS POP MUSIC ]
>> HEY, ELIZA.
>> HI, GODFREY.
>> NICE TO MEET YOU.
>> YOU TOO.
>> YOU READY FOR THE SHOW?
>> YES. I'M SO EXCITED.
I'M VERY HAPPY TO BE HERE.
>> ALL RIGHT.
YOU'RE NOT NERVOUS, ARE YOU?
>> NO, I'M -- NO.
>> 'CAUSE I'M GONNA JUST TELL
YOU -- JUST GET RIGHT TO IT --
THERE'S GONNA BE A LOT OF BLACK
STUFF HAPPENING.
YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN?
YOU GOT ME, SHAQ, GARY.
WE DO A LOT OF BLACK STUFF.
ALL RIGHT?
'CAUSE YOU'RE A WHITE GIRL, YOU
MIGHT GO, "OH, MY GOD, NO, THIS
IS SO BLACK."
>> [ Chuckling ] I CAN HANDLE
BLACK STUFF.
>> ARE YOU SURE?
>> YEAH, I'M SURE!
I CAN HANG, OKAY?!
>> ALL RIGHT.
>> DID I SCARE YOU, ***?
>> OH.
>> ARE YOU SCARED?!
ARE YOU GONNA CRY, ***?
WHERE YOU FROM?
>> UH, NEBRASKA.
>> YOU'RE FROM NEBRASKA?
>> YEAH.
>> I'M FROM RICHMOND, VIRGINIA,
*** CAPITAL.
WE GOOD, DAWG.
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]
>> WELCOME BACK TO "UPLOAD."
RIGHT NOW WE'RE JOINED BY THE
BEAUTIFUL COMIC ELIZA SKINNER.
HOW ARE YOU?
>> I'M GOOD, THANKS.
>> YEAH!
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]
ELIZA, I GOT TO APOLOGIZE.
I'M SORRY I DOUBTED YOU.
>> WELL, NOT EVERY WHITE WOMAN
CAN HANG, BUT I'M NOT EVERY
WHITE WOMAN.
[ LAUGHTER ]
>> NOW I GOT TO ASK.
I KNOW YOU CAN TALK LIKE A GIRL
FROM THE STREETS, BUT CAN YOU
DANCE LIKE A GIRL FROM THE
STREETS?
>> [ SCOFFS ] CAN I DANCE?
[ SCOFFS ] CAN I DANCE?
GIVE ME A BEAT!
[ HIP-HOP MUSIC PLAYS ]
[ RHYTHMIC CLAPPING ]
>> BRING IT BACK.
DROP IT LIKE IT'S HOT.
DROP IT LIKE IT'S HOT.
[ LAUGHTER ]
OKAY, OKAY, OKAY.
>> WAIT, WAIT, WAIT.
THAT WASN'T A GIRL FROM THE
STREETS.
YOU'RE FROM THE SIDEWALK.
[ LAUGHTER ]
>> YOU KNOW, USUALLY, I'VE GOT,
LIKE, CARDBOARD HERE AND MY
CREW.
>> ALL RIGHT, ELIZA, WE BELIEVE
YOU.
THAT'S WHY YOU'RE GONNA PLAY
"THE UPLOAD INTERNATIONAL
DANCE OFF."
GARY, TELL THEM HOW IT WORKS.
>> HERE'S THE DEAL.
WE'RE EACH GONNA SHOW SHAQ ONE
DANCE CLIP FROM A DIFFERENT
CORNER OF THE WORLD.
BEST DANCER WINS.
>> GODFREY, YOU'RE UP FIRST.
>> [ Japanese accent ] MY CLIP
COMES TO YOU FROM JAPAN,
BIRTHPLACE OF NINTENDO...
KARAOKE...
AND-A THIS GUY.
[ MID-TEMPO MUSIC PLAYS ]
[ LAUGHTER ]
>> THIS IS MY FAVORITE VIDEO
GAME -- "DANCE DANCE ISOLATION."
[ LAUGHTER ]
>> I DON'T KNOW ABOUT YOU GUYS,
BUT I THOUGHT THAT ASIAN GIRL
WAS SEXY.
>> [ Normal voice ] YOU SEE HIS
LITTLE ***?
OHHH!
[ LAUGHTER ]
>> THE GOOD NEWS IS, I KNOW WHAT
HAPPENED TO THOSE PAIR OF
UNDERWEAR.
THE BAD NEWS IS, I DO NOT WANT
THEM BACK.
HE CAN KEEP THEM. PLEASE.
[ LAUGHTER ]
>> THIS IS THE VIDEO THIS GUY
POSTED ONLINE?
IMAGINE THE ONE HE'S NOT
SHARING.
HMM.
>> SHAQ'S GOT ON HIS CELLPHONE.
[ LAUGHTER ]
ALL RIGHT, MY TURN, MY TURN,
GUYS.
MY CLIP REPRESENTS THE GOOD OL'
USA.
[ MID-TEMPO MUSIC PLAYS ]
>> NOW, THAT'S A LOT OF ***.
[ LAUGHTER ]
>> THAT GUY JUST SLOWLY WALKED
BY.
[ LAUGHTER ]
>> [ Chanting ] USA! USA! USA!
>> [ Chanting ] USDA! USDA!
THAT WAS A LOT OF BEEF.
[ LAUGHTER ]
>> EXCUSE ME, EXCUSE ME, MISS.
WHICH AISLE ARE THE HOSE [hos]
ON?
[ LAUGHTER ]
>> ALL RIGHT, EVERYBODY IN THE
GROCERY STORE, WELCOME TO THE
PASTA AISLE, WHERE WE HAVE
DIAMOND, LEXIS, JASMINE, AND
MERCEDES!
>> HO, HO, HO, HO.
WAS THIS VIDEO SHOT AT
HO FOODS [Whole Foods]?
[ LAUGHTER ]
>> UH, NO, THIS VIDEO WAS SHOT
AT TRADER HO'S [Trader Joe's].
[ LAUGHTER ]
>> LIKE, "WHERE YOU AT?"
"I TOLD YOU I'M AT THE STORE."
[ LAUGHTER ]
"I'M SHOPPING WITH MY GIRLS."
[ LAUGHTER ]
>> ALL RIGHT, ELIZA, IT'S YOUR
TURN.
PLEASE GIVE US THE FINAL CLIP TO
"THE UPLOAD INTERNATIONAL
DANCE OFF."
>> MY CLIP COMES FROM THE NATION
OF GREECE, WHICH AT ONE TIME WAS
THE CRADLE OF MODERN
CIVILIZATION.
AND THEN THIS HAPPENED.
[ UP-TEMPO MUSIC PLAYS ]
[ LAUGHTER ]
>> THAT [BLEEP] ME UP.
[ Greek accent ] "MY
GRANDCHILDREN, THIS DANCE WILL
GET YOU CRAZY *** IN MYKONOS."
[ LAUGHTER ]
[ Normal voice ] ESPECIALLY WHEN
HE DID THIS.
[ LAUGHTER ]
[ UP-TEMPO MUSIC PLAYS ]
WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT?
>> THE BEST PART -- HE DOES THE
KICK AND HE JUST LEAVES THE
ROOM.
>> THAT'S HIS MIKE DROP.
>> "I'M OUT!"
>> "DONE!
CAN'T GET BETTER THAN THAT.
LEARN."
[ LAUGHTER ]
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]
>> Narrator: COMING UP, WHO WILL
WIN THE "UPLOAD DANCE OFF"?
AND WHAT WILL BE SHAQ'S CLIP OF
THE WEEK?
>> WHEN "UPLOAD" CONTINUES.
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]
[ HORSE NEIGHS ]
>> Narrator: BEFORE THE BREAK,
SHAQ ASKED THE GANG FOR THE
GREATEST DANCE CLIPS FROM AROUND
THE WORLD.
GODFREY SHOWED US JAPANESE
SPEEDO BOOGIE, GARY SHOWED US
AMERICAN *** QUAKE, AND GUEST
COMIC ELIZA SKINNER SHOWED US
OLD GREEK DUDE.
NOW IT'S TIME TO PICK A WINNER.
>> ALL RIGHT, ALL RIGHT, SHAQ...
>> [ SIGHS ]
>> ...IT'S TIME FOR YOU TO
DECIDE THE WINNER OF THE
"INTERNATIONAL UPLOAD
DANCE OFF."
>> WAIT A MINUTE, SHAQ.
BEFORE YOU MAKE YOUR DECISION, I
JUST WANT TO REMIND YOU THAT MY
VIDEO HAD WAY MORE DOILIES.
THAT ROOM WAS THICK WITH
DOILIES.
[ LAUGHTER ]
LOOK AT IT.
>> THAT'S A LOT OF DOILIES, I
ADMIT.
[ LAUGHTER ]
>> AND BEFORE YOU DECIDE, JUST
REMEMBER, YOU GOT A WAY BETTER
SHOT OF HER GIVING YOU A
[BLEEP]JOB THAN ME AND GODFREY.
>> FRANKLY, I DON'T KNOW THAT
THAT'S TRUE.
I'VE SEEN THE WAY YOU TALK
TO HIM.
>> YO! YO!
OHH!
OHH!
[ APPLAUSE ]
>> AND THE WINNER IS...
ELIZA SKINNER.
>> WINNER!
>> [ LAUGHS ]
BY DECISION.
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]
[ UP-TEMPO MUSIC PLAYS ]
>> WE'D LIKE TO THANK ALL THE
PUKEY WEIGHT LIFTERS THAT HELPED
MAKE THIS EPISODE POSSIBLE.
>> AND THANKS TO ELIZA SKINNER
FOR STOPPING BY.
ELIZA, WHAT DID WE LEARN?
>> WELL, THINGS AREN'T TOTALLY
BETTER AT MICHAEL VICK'S HOUSE,
BUT THERE'S BEEN SOME PROGRESS.
[ DOG GROWLING ]
>> GONNA BEAT YOU, MAN.
>> THANKS FOR WATCHING.
WE'LL SEE YOU NEXT TIME ON
"UPLOAD"!
>> WE LEAVE YOU WITH THIS
PARTING GIFT.
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]
[ HIP-HOP MUSIC PLAYS ]