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Thanks to the Psy phenomenon and his overly famous Gangnam Style
which made us hate Kpop - Thanks a lot guys, really thank you!
Almost everyone is familiar with Kpop and Jpop
Personaly, i'm a real otaku of the Club Dorothee's Generation (old French show)
so i kinda grew up listening to this kind of music
even if the french openings are very different from the original ones
Naturally, we don't grew up like other kids
And we bare lifelong consequences - for life!
First of all, we have weird games like "Burn your cosmos!"
Or we comb our hair to look like Chunli and kick the neighbour's *** because
Pocahontas (that ***!) cheated on John Smith and our faith is love is over, OVER i say!!
- Joooooohn
We listen to music that makes "ching chong" sound, and we sometimes have....a different way to deal with things...
- Are you still listening to your chinese music?
- It's not "Chinese", it's Japanese!
- Chinese, japanese, what's the difference...
- Don't joke about this.....just don't
I'd say that we are meant to have weird taste and that's why
my mom gave up early and accepted that I would fancy a singer who would combed his hair with a firecracker,
who would wear more make-up than any girl and would sing inapprehensible lyrics
She already went through my Worlds Apart's period anyways so...
From the US boys band to their gay...Hello Kitty...Japanese version
there's only one step.
And when you leave Japan to look across the sea to his neighbour Korea's artists
Unbelievable!
It's like tasting lobster for the first time, after having eaten shrimps all your life!
For a non-initiated person, i know it's kinda freaky, you must be surprised
Because a Kpop singer looks like....this:
They wear perfume, make-up, they pluck their eyebrows,
they wear Jeremy Scott's fashion (in fact, as long as you're wearing non-matching colours, it's okay)
Most of the time they sing lyrics that make no sense at all even in their native language
They do the Rain Dance on a RNB electro disco
- It's the nowadays French gangsters in a way
And , of course, their hairless body is shimmering with the holy coconut oil that makes the fangirls
scream whenever Mister Singer rips his shirt off!
We even come to think that real manhood is about wearing eyeliner to go and buy your baguette!
Yep, we've come to THIS point!
Plus, occidental guys look neglected and dirty because they have a lot of hair
- EXCEPT for Hugh Jackman. -....Yes he does have an international exemption!
- We're standing there because we brainwashed ourselves
Japanese singers on this other side looks exactly the same...without muscular bodies.
But it goes even further!
They even go and make you doubt your sexuality
Let's take for example, the international case of Amber: Rap singer in the Korean girls band F(x)
- Hot! - Indeed...
I'm still intimately convinced that it's a lie and that she's in fact a dude, and they're only calling him a girl
so I would use Photoshop editing of her and me riding a unicorn, fighting for same-sex wedding!
Plus i spent my childhood and teenagehood watching things like Sailor Uranus...
- Who's a guy transforming into a girl! - ... of the Sailor Stars...
- Which is a boy band, so guys transforming into girls!
- ...and who would use attacks named Star Gentle Uterus.....
-Yeah I know.... Plus, i was a huge fan of Shun (Saint Seiya)
How can my brain be normal?
A couple of weeks ago I discover a new band called FUDANJUKU
They look like a typical Johnny's boy band right?
Yeah, except that they are all girls.
Well, girls dressed as guys.
That is guys that already look like girls in the first place....
Hum... Japan!
I mean we already have a hard time making the difference between who's a girl and who's a guy
and now they're doing cross-dressing. How do you expect us to get through this??
Boy
Girl
Girl
Boy
Boy
Girl
Hem....well...er... Ladyboy??
Moreover most of those guys look prettier than me.
Not that's difficult. No. It just pisses me off.
I am a REAL girl, dammit it's so unfair!
I have to admit when we first watched FUDANJUKU we were kinda....scared
After that we listened to their music and thought it was pretty nice.
After that we made some research and found out that all of them are big nerds/otakus
- Ah they all are otakus! - Oooh nice! I like them now!
- Me too, that settles it then: I'm becoming a fangirl.
And you can doubt my moral and manners, I don't give a slap-my-butt-with-a-thong f*ck about it!
If YOU, misbeliever, also like sh*t*y pop music, idols that
you listen in secret but are too shameful to admit
- Admit you like SNSD, you dog you! - Stop it, you!
Visual Kei, and all those strange stuffs,
Listen to FUDANJUKU! because.... it's cool.
Okay, seriously.
Choreographies are a must-see
Music videos are deadly cliché
- Hi Princess. - Oh my GAWD you're so handsome!
- Yeah.... I know
Plus, you danced on Gangnam style all year long until now
so it's too late to have an attitude now!
- Nope, I did NOT dance on that - Yes you did, look!
- I am NOT on this video. - Aren't you? that's weird! Must be a mistake!!
- Yeah, a "mistake"....
- ...wasn't me either!