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"What a back-heel goal! Huh, Cristi?" "With this heel I'll be the envy of all players."
"You're right. Your back-heel against Rayo was an amazing goal."
"I know it, but I'm not talking about the back-heel against Rayo but about my new high-heeled shoes: A heel height of 10 centimeters.
It's the new trend in the USA: Men in high-heeled shoes. It makes you glamorous."
"That's true, I've bought a pair as well. They've got a lot of glamour. Look!"
"Glamour? You look like 'Chiquito de la Calzada' (Spanish comedian)." "Listen to me!"
"Yes, I'm all ears." "Yes, you're all ears: Yours are large and ugly."
"Boys, congratulations on yesterday's game. It's been the most difficult win of the season so far."
"Yes, it's lucky I've saved your ***, as usual." "Thanks to Cristi and to the ref, who didn't send off Sergio Ramos, didn't show two yellow cautions to Ramos too, sent off Michu unfairly..."
"The ref didn't help us. And what's more, our fitness coach was unfairly sent off." "Of course, the ref didn't help us. He's bad, very bad."
"Exactly! And always remember: When Barça wins, it's just thanks to the refs; but when we win, it's thanks to..."
"Me!" "No! Don't be so self-centered! We win thanks to me!
By the way, where are the other players?" "They're on the pitch, celebrating Pepe's birthday. He turned 29 yesterday."
"29 years old! How old he is!" "Yes. We've made a piñata for him."
"What? A piñata? For Pepe! Are you crazy?"
"Ouch! My mouth!"
"It seems Pepe has broken Sergio's 'piñata' (teeth)."
"Another player is injured!" "Great, another one! He's gonna keep me company!
What a tragedy, another injured player. It's bad, very bad."