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STAMP!
Pop!
Pop!
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'The Song of the South Trail'
Pop-Pop, Pop-Pop, Pop-Pop, Pop-Pop.
Woah, Woah, Woah. Settle down, settle down.
What's all the hub-bub?
It's awful.
The most terrible-ist thing has happened.
What, what's happened?
They're gonna close down the park.
Say what?
They're gonna tear up the park and build a court house.
Court house? Not that damned court house again!?!
They be trying to build that court house for years... They tried to take my theatre from me.
Now listen here kiddies. I'm gonna tell you a story. I was the general manager of a grand
old theatre. It was the 1970's.
Back when the men were men and the women were unshorn.
I was the general manager of the 'South Trail Cinema'. And I was in charge of a motley but
lovely crew of folks. There was 'Sweet As' Susie, the ticket-taker.
One Please.
Enjoy the show.
Thank you.
Come again soon.
Gentleman Bill, the usher.
Uh, uh huh. Good day sir!
One-eyed Jed, our janitor...
"Harder, harder, harder."
"Softer, softer, softer."
And I was also the projectionist. And I am proud to say that every film that played down
the south trail was in sharp focus!
But then that fateful day when that damned municipal employee came and disrupted our
happy family.
Well hello, my foxy lady. Joe Mandanda. Who runs this joint?
Maybe you do big boy...
I'm looking for the manager mister, you dig?
Well, I ain't the manager I just run the *** bucket.
Now you must be the manager.
Uh. Huh, huh!
What? You some jive turkey like those other fools?
I'm neither jive nor turkey. But charmed...
Pops. Some crazy cat's looking for you downstairs.
What's the story One-Eye?
Don't worry. Everyday, *** out. Water in.
"Mr. Johnson, It's Nurse Nancy. It's time for your sponge bath."
It's time to clean up this town.
What's your hurry?
"The water's nice and warm."
The heats on...
"Nurse Nancy, you treat me like a King."
And you want to be Mayor.
"Maybe I can help you erect a monument?"
Right on.
And building a new court house on your *** theatre is gonna get me there. Ha ha!
"In my Pants? My wife never elects to do this."
You'll get your comeuppance.
Whether with the voters, now. Or with the almighty in the future.
"Ooooh. She should watch and learn. Be sure she gets the massage."
Now that Nurse Nancy. Nurse Nancy... She's Boss.
"Uhhh... Or I could, be sure she gets the message."
Take care of yourself Joe. I'll check back with you in a few.
And that my kiddies. Is how we got Old Joe Mandanda.
He got hooked on Nurse Nancy.
Gentleman Bill brought him the whole box full of tissues.
And then 'Sweet As' Susie...
You don't even want to know what she did.
And I brought in the Fuzz. Caught old Joe red handed. So in the end, he didn't beat us.
He beat himself.
But, what happened to the One-Eyed Jed?
One-Eyed Jed? He got his mop and cleaned up. Just like he always does.
Wow. What happened to the theatre?
Well. We stayed open for a few more years.
But in the end we got beat by something bigger than Joe.
And it's right here in this very room.
What is it? What is it?
BETAMAX.
Now get out there and save that park of yours!
Where's my remote?