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It appears the Caped Crusader has taken on a ward.
That's right: Robin!
The Boy Wonder. And this bird boy has all of Gotham aflutter.
We here at Channel 7 have taken to the streets to find out, what Gotham has to say about the Dark Knight's not-so-dark new pal.
Oh! Yeah, Robin...
What do I think about Robin?
Batman's hanging out with some *** kid now? What do I think of that?
What can I say about Robin that hasn't been said already?
It's plain to me that...
I might be the only one who thinks this, but...
I'm pretty sure, everyone agrees, that...
Robin sucks!
Batman's a loner, you know, but now he's running around, telling jokes with some kid, it's like...
Don't do that!
Where's the kid's pants?
The Batman should always be a solitary figure. The concept of a child crime fighter is ridiculous.
It ruins the gritty realism of a man, who fights crime dressed as a bat!
So say we all, Excelsior.
Amen to that.
Batman doesn't need a sidekick undermines his whole aesthetic whole thing just gives me a headache
Robin sucks!
You've reached the voice mail of: 'Bruceman- I mean Batwayne- I mean Bat... ah, fu-'. Please leave a message after the tone.
Hey Batman! It's Superman.
So, I heard about your new sidekick. That's cool.
So, you're copying me again?
I mean, everyone remembers my sidekick.
Krypto? The superdog?
Been growing up that a superdog is a superman's best friend.
Then we moved to Metropolis and
he started chasing cars and destroying them, and
leaving some superpoops on the floor of my not-so-super efficiancy.
And then he superhumped Lois' leg and put her in that full body cast and that was kinda strike three for Krypto.
So I moved him to a pen in the fortress.
But I guess he couldn't take the solitude.
He wanted to run, not being cooped up, so
he ran off on me.
I miss that dog.
Speaking of missing things, where were you for the Solomon Grundy thing on Monday?
Turned out to be smaller then I expected, just a couple of cool guys.
Me and...
Solomon Grundy.
Yeah, anyway, just give me a call back.
Krypto!
Extra, extra! Read all about it! Robin sucks!
I'll take one of those.
I'll take one of those, ma'am!
Thank you.
He may be a solid dude
But Batman, he needs solitude
Robin makes him fricking cute
Robin sucks!
Tanya said that Larry said that Sarah said he wets the bed
He probably does, he's only ten! Robin sucks!
Now get out of my office!
Mark Twain!
Yep, I live here.
Another criminal, Commissioner.
I caught this ruffian here trying to download Photoshop onto more then one computer.
I'd like to speak to my lawyer.
Quiet, you.
Thanks, Robin, but, erm...
Where are your pants?
Pants are luxury. My costume is designed to be aerodynamically perfect.
Oh God, you suck!
If I would wear pants, it would decrease my crime fighting ability by twenty percent.
I can't afford that, can you?
- Well, geez, if you can't afford a pair of pants, I'll give you mine! Let me just... - (Where did he go?)
...get them off me. Here you go... Hey!
Where did he go? He vanished!
Robins aren't scary, they're completely ordinary Might as well call him canary, freaking Robin sucks!
Robins are so common, they're the statebird of Wisconsin So, what else do you need to know, Robin sucks!
Boing!
Help! Help! Somebody help me!
I know that sound all too well.
That's the sound of an innocent soul falling victim to the world's injustice.
Well, it's time for The Robin to swoop in.
Grayson Dive!
Help! Help! Somebody please, help me!
Miss Rachel Dawes of the DA's office!
Well, don't worry, I'm here to help.
Oh thank Go- Oh.
Robin. Great, I wanted help, not a babysitting gig.
Just when I thought this mugging couldn't get any worse.
Stand down criminal, or I'll be forced to use force.
Good heavens, sir, you look ill!
Oh my! Heavens to Betsy!
This man needs a doctor! He has to go to the hospital
so he can go to jail.
The boss said the pain would go away. That my tum-tum wouldn't hurt no more.
What's the matter with your tum-tum?
It's friggin upset!
The boss.
He-
He mades me eat...
What?
What did he make you eat?
Pop Rocks... and a Coca-Cola
Pop Rocks and a coke.
Miss Dawes! Keep down!
I always like to enter on a ***.
Ah, who... who are you?
Me?
I'm the one who's been feeding Gotham's craving for chaos.
Haven't you and Batman enjoyed my latest batch of M&M's?
*** and mayhem, there they are!
Gotham City still has a...
Sweet Tooth!
That's me.
And you are the one behind all the new villains in town!
Aren't you a Smarty!
Oh, I like these.
Good! Good!
Well, your sugar high is over, Sweet Tooth.
And you're right about to crash. Into Arkham Asylum that is.
Get ready to trade your Peppermint Patty for a padded cell.
Oh, you're the one who's nutty if you think I'm going to the nut house.
My Almond Joy wonder.
Oh...
I don't like these.
Well perhaps you'll enjoy my next batch.
Get him, my Sour Patch Kids!
'Bout time we candy coated this Robin's breast red.
We're gonna tear out your Jelly Belly.
Miss Dawes, go! I'll take care of the Lollipop Guild.
Thanks, Robin.
Now I feel bad for thinking you suck.
Just go.
Oh, you're not going anywhere, Miss Dawes.
Gob, stop her!
I'm sorry Gob, but I'm the only jaw breaker around here.
Do I have to do everything myself? Hand me my Bazooka, Joe!
Now, *** it!
Damn it! Take it. How do you... How do you work this thing?
Ah-ha!
That Bazooka is shooting my legs with bubblegum.
Mh, I can't move them.
They're wrapped in Bubblicious.
Miss Dawes!
And I thought I was a gumshoe.
Now that's what I call a sticky situation!
- Huh, ST? - You said it, Candy.
Well, what do you think, Robin? Doesn't Candy here look good enough to eat?
She's my little Sugar Baby.
Yeah, and he's my SweeTART.
I'm the one who makes the candy puns around here!
Got it?
Oh, Miss!
Miss, oh, Miss! Did he hurt you?
No. It felt like -
a kiss.
Kiss... What could it mean?
Take this bird boy!
Noooooooo!
Oh, a bird in the hand!
So, what do you say, ST? Shall we kill him Now -
or Later?
No, no, no, no. I have plans for this little Chiclet.
Take 5, boys! We've got a long night ahead of us.
Candy, be a Dove and tell my troops to advance on Gotham Square.
Get ready, my darling deluded Dark Knight!
It's gonna be a Hot Tamale in the old town tonight.