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>>Sallans: Hey Folks, Ryan Sallans. And this video is for all the people out there who
are struggling to find acceptance from their parents.
All the people out there who have to deal with verbal harassment or physical harassment
from an un- approving parental figure.
All the people out there who are seeking love, and really just wanting unconditional love,
but due to a higher being or your parents’ pride or fear
of acceptance, or fear of how they are going to be seen in the
community, they can’t give it to you.
This is who this video is for today.
The important thing to understand is that even though it hurts, even though it is hard
to comprehend in a way that a parent can’t be approving of
you, that a parent can’t love you, that the person that has
brought you into this world or has either adopted you or fostered you, can’t just
say >>Sallans Quoting: Hey, you’re my kid and
I am scared right now, but I want you to be happy.
>>Sallans: It’s frustrating to know and to comprehend that parents can’t feel that
way. One of the most important things that you
can do for yourself then if you are really struggling with this
type of abuse, this un-acceptance, this non-caring approach to who you are is to let go, to unplug
from your family in a way.
This is partly for your own survival and it is also for you to learn and to recognize
that you can take control of your life and that you HAVE control
of your life. This is no one else’s to live. My body isn’t my parents’ body, my desires
and my job isn’t my parents’ job, my fantasies, dreams and
desires are not what my parents were, we are different people. Just like you are different
from who your family is.
So let go of them having that control over you and take control of your life for yourself.
And then, instead of always reaching out and trying
to find their acceptance, after you let go, you are going to be
able to say >>Sallans Your Voice: Alright, I’m at a
place where I have found this piece and I am proud of who I am.
And now it is my choice if I want to let you back into my life. What have you done to deserve
to be back in my life? Can you actually be a true human
being with me and have a true relationship instead of
judging me and trying to push me into either the categories or boxes that you want me to
fit into?
>> Sallans: If they are able to do that. If they are able to see you for who you are and
say
>>Sallans Parent Voice: Yes I love you and want to support you.
>>Sallans: Then that will be a wonderful moment in your life. But if they are not, then that
will be a continual set up for you to be knocked down
when you are feeling good. To lose a little bit more hope of
wanting something with your family, and you just have to ask yourself
>>Sallans Your Voice: How long am I going to let myself continue to feel this way?
>> Sallans: I know that I’ve reached a point, and again, you know, I’m going on 33 so
this has been a long process for me and it’s hard to do, but
I’ve reached this point where I’m taking control of my life, and it’s
my choice when to let people into it again.