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Welcome to part 4, then.
Mr. Map greets you once more.
And now another song parody by the tune of the Pokemon theme song...
I'm in Silent Hill, on my way
Searching for a chick
I paid her in advance to beat my meat
And I crashed my jeep into a fence.
Gotta catch that ho
It's her and me
That grammar sucked, but don't you see
Chelsea can't find the school because she can't read maps
And monsters keep biting Harry...
Stupid ho
Gotta catch that ho
Think I left out a verse, but you get the point. I made the trek a bit less boring. You're welcome.
Yellow bus, blue bus, white bus...what color rhymes with blue?
And the kids were drinking health drinks. There are a lot of alkies in this 'hood.
Saving on the bus, before you go go
Gotta get to the school-io-o
My knuckle really hurts for some reason.
I hate it when I record too much to caption and still want to play. I never got past a main section in a Silent Hill
game before. I have music playing in my other ear from my iPod. It's not cheating...it's...jamming.
I missed a DERP moment. I'm sure there will be plenty in this school. The most convoluted *** place
when it shifts into the nightmare world.
Seems pretty tame now. My laptop fan keeps growling at me.
Another map!!
Oh, map. So colored, so handsome, you know all the places.
Yes, I did just make a map perverted. Questions?
SO. Objective. Right.
Can't read signs.
I'm horrible for pulling out the map every two seconds, but I get lost if I don't. It's a compulsion.
Is there a map-addicts anonymous?
This is reading material for stuff, so I'll shut up and let you read it.
That means the chemistry lab.
That means the boiler room.
And that means the music room. All these rooms have puzzles or fetch quests to get medalions for the tower
outside in the courtyard. We tell the time by reading the clock tower. We change the time by putting in
medalions. This is the start of the convolution that is this school.
Remember this guy? He was at the nightmare at the start of the game. He is a mumbler.
Mumblers replaced clawfingers in the PAL version of the game because clawfingers looked too much like
children. You know what else looks too much like a child? The child we're chasing. D'oh.
Round and round the courtyard...
So, it's 10:00. That means we should go to the chemistry lab as indicated by that bloody note.
Past-Chelsea is attempted to figure out the control for switching pages.
That thing next to the save point looks like a health drink, but it's not...sigh.
If Harry's health is dire, he'll breathe harder. He's in a good health right now. Sometimes he'll breathe heavily
if he runs for a great amount of time. He's going for a 5k marathon after this, I'm sure.
If anything could help my fat *** lose weight, it'd be running from monsters. Consult Jenny Craig.
You can't read the signs due to the pixelated quality. 1990s, everyone.
Didn't want to go out there. Harry, what are you doing to me?
And here's why the school is not my favorite part. TOO MANY *** LOCKED DOORS
Yeah, watching myself play makes me want to yell at my past-self. Get on with it, ***, let's go!!
Oh, right, forgot about the office.
Remember this painting.
Handgun ammo in the office, why not.
Harry will do a humorous skip backward if you hold run and back.
This melee session will not last long, I can assure you.
Pressing the action button once will do an overhead swing...
Pressing it twice will do a side swipe. I'm just not very experienced, so I prefer my handgun.
DERP
Got one in.
It's called a mumbler, but I like to call it a Blowjobber.
I'm horrible with the pipe.
That hit was just luck.
Quit eating his ***, he is not into that freaky ***...
I don't know, he might be. He did pay the *** five hundred bucks.
Doubt he wants these guys as substitutes.
Look, Blowjobber, you have to a least ask for a guy's name before this. Even so, immediately going for his pants,
mouth wide, is still not even the second date. You know take him to a movie, a club, and then drop to your
knees. This has been Chelsea for dating advice. Considering I've never even been in a relationship.
What the *** am I talking about?
Told you it didn't last. Melee saves bullets, but like it was once said, health drinks are ammo for melee.