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Captions made possible by HOME BOX OFFICE
A Division of TIME WARNER ENTERTAINMENT COMPANY, L.P.
ONE NIGHT FOUR LADIES IN THE EAST MET AT COMPASS
TO DISCUSS GOING WEST.
I HAVE TO GO TO SAN FRANCISCO ON A BOOK TOUR.
YOU WOULDN'T GO TO THE UPPER WEST SIDE,
SUDDENLY YOU'RE GOING TO SAN FRANCISCO ?
THEY'RE MAKING ME.
APPARENTLY, I'M VERY BIG IN SAN FRANCISCO.
YOU MEAN, BIG IS IN SAN FRANCISC.
OKAY, YES, PERHAPS, I'LL SEE BIG.
GUYS, I NEED TO HAVE SEX, IT'S BEEN TOO LONG.
LATELY, I'VE BEEN HAVING THESE DREAMS WHERE I RUN,
I RUN UP TO COMPLETE STRANGERS
AND JUST START KISSING THEM.
IF ALL YOU WANT IS SEX,
YOU DON'T HAVE TO GO ACROSS THE COUNTRY,
JUST GO ACROSS THE RESTAURANT.
THOSE GUYS HAVE BEEN CHECKING US OUT EVER SINCE THEY SAT DOWN.
OH, CUTE.
CUTE, CUTE !
BORING, BORING, AND BORING.
LIKE THESE SCALLOPS.
I LOVE THE FOOD HERE.
SAME OLD, SAME OLD.
SAME OLD ? JUST OPENED LAST WEEK.
SCALLOPS ARE SCALLOPS AND BACHELORS ARE BACHELORS.
SOUNDS TO ME LIKE YOU MIGHT BE EXPERIENCING
A BEEN THERE/DONE THEM EXISTENTIAL CRISIS.
IT'S NOT ME, IT'S NEW YORK.
NOTHING IS EVER REALLY NEW.
IN FACT, THEY SHOULD CHANGE THE NAME TO SAME YORK.
YOU'RE NUTS !
THESE SCALLOPS ARE FANTASTIC AND THOSE GUYS ARE CUTE.
YOU SHOULD GO SAY HI.
MAY I ?
NO, I DON'T WANT TO SAY HI.
I WANT TO SAY, COULD ONE OF YOU LAY ON TOP OF ME FOR A WHILE ?"
I NEED TO FEEL THE WEIGHT OF A MAN ON ME.
IT'S TIMES LIKE THIS I WISH WOMEN COULD GO TO MALE PROSTITUTES.
WOMEN DO.
NO, NO, ONLY IN BAD SCREENPLAYS AND FIRST NOVELS.
THAT IS AN INCREDIBLE INVESTMENT IDEA.
WE SHOULD OPEN A BROTHEL WHERE THE MEN ARE CUTE
AND THE SHEETS ARE 500-COUNT EGYPTIAN COTTON.
SAMANTHA, YOU CAN BE THE MADAM.
WELL, AT LEAST IT'S SOMETHING NEW.
WE CAN PUT ONE IN EVERY NEIGHBORHOOD, LIKE STARBUCKS.
STARFUCKS.
A PLACE LIKE THAT DOESN'T EXIST IN REALITY
BECAUSE WOMEN DON'T THINK ABOUT SEX LIKE THAT.
IT'S NOT AN ANIMAL URGE.
WE NEED TO FEEL THINGS.
WE NEED A CONNECTION, ISN'T THAT RIGHT, CARRIE ?
NOPE, BIG IS MY MALE ***.
I AM MIXING BUSINESS WITH MUCH-NEEDED PLEASURE.
AND MY RELIEF IS JUST A TRAIN RIDE AWAY.
A TRAIN, WHY DON'T YOU JUST FLY ?
OH, NO, NO, FLYING MAKES ME NERVOUS.
I GET A LITTLE UNEASY SEEING THE NATIONAL GUARD GO THROUGH MY MAKEUP CASE.
BESIDES, IT'LL BE FUN.
ESPECIALLY IF SAMANTHA GOES WITH ME.
OH, PLEASE !
C'MON, IT'LL BE HILARIOUS !
TWO GALS ON A TRAIN, VERY "SOME LIKE IT HOT".
AND THE WHOLE TRIP ENDS WITH A LUXURY SUITE
IN A FABULOUS
FOUR-STAR SAN FRANCISCO HOTEL.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME ?
BECAUSE SAMANTHA'S THE ONLY ONE WHO'S BORED ENOUGH TO DO IT.
SO, WHAT TIME DO WE LEAVE SAME YORK ?
♪ I'M GONNA GET LAID ♪
♪ I'M GONNA GET LAID ♪
( Carrie ) MORE AND MORE SINGLE WOMEN OF A CERTAIN AGE
ARE LOOKING FOR A CERTAIN THING.
AND THAT CERTAIN THING
DOES NOT NECESSARILY INVOLVE A CERTAIN RING.
WE MAY HAVE TRADED THE LITTLE BLACK BOOK FOR A LITTLE BLACK DRESS
AND REPLACED THE FERRARI WITH A FENDI
BUT IN VIEW OF CERTAIN EVIDENCE, I HAD TO WONDER...
ARE WE THE NEW BACHELORS ?
( PA system ) Final call for the 9:15...
WHAT DID BIG SAY WHEN YOU TOLD HIM ?
I HAVEN'T YET, I'M GONNA WAIT 'TIL I GET THERE.
YOU KNOW, "HELLO, GUESS WHERE I AM."
VERY CASUAL, VERY "LA, LA, LA".
OH, THAT'S ONE APPROACH.
I WOULD'VE CALLED AND SAID, "I'M COMING
AND I WON'T BE THE ONLY ONE."
I THINK I'M GETTING A PIMPLE.
CAN YOU SEE ANYTHING
RIGHT HERE ABOVE MY FRECKLE ?
ALL CLEAR.
OH, GOOD, THE LAST THING I NEED IS A BIG HONKING ZIT
WHEN I MEET MY ***.
THIS MAY BE JUST WHAT I NEEDED
IF I CAN STAND THE TRAIN FOR THREE DAYS.
OH, THINK OF IT AS AN ADVENTURE.
IT'S NOT THE DESTINATION, IT'S THE JOURNEY.
A JOURNEY IN ADJOINING, FIRST-CLASS,
DELUXE SLEEPER BIRDS.
TRUTH BE TOLD, I'VE ALWAYS WANTED TO TAKE A TRAIN.
IT'S SO SEXY.
YOU NEVER KNOW WHO'S GOING TO BE GETTING ON
AND GETTING ME OFF.
( conductor ) ALL ABOARD !
HELLO, SIR.
( Carrie ) OH, WE'RE HERE.
UM...
UM...
WE WERE SUPPOSED TO HAVE THE DELUXE FIRST-CLASS SLEEPER.
THIS IS THE FIRST-CLASS SLEEPER.
AND I SUPPOSE THE REGULAR CLASS SLEEPS IN WHAT, A TUNA CAN ?
AND RIGHT HERE YOU HAVE YOUR DOOR TO THE RESTROOM.
WAIT.
YOU SHOWER OVER THE TOILET ?
I'M STARTING TO UNDERSTAND WHY THERE WAS A *** ON THE ORIENT EXPRESS.
( doorbell )
AND IN A FAR LESS CROWDED SPACE.
OH !
DELIVERY FROM BLOOM AND GOLDENBLATT.
I THOUGHT THEY'D SEND A MESSENGER.
DO YOU KNOW WHAT WE WOULD CHARGE YOU
FOR A MESSENGER TO MAKE 12-BLOCK DROP ?
SO, A PARTNER PERSONALLY DELIVERS MY DIVORCE PAPERS ?
SURE, WHY NOT ? I NEEDED THE WALK.
OKAY.
I WAS JUST GONNA GO WORK OUT, BUT, COME IN !
OOH, IT'S HOT !
EXCUSE ME ?
OUTSIDE.
I'M SCHVITSING LIKE A PUDDING IN A PICNIC.
SO, THIS IS THE PAGODA WE'VE BEEN FIGHTING OVER, HUH ?
IT'S IMPRESSIVE.
I CAN SEE WHY YOU'D NEVER WANT TO GIVE IT UP.
ACTUALLY, I'M THINKING ABOUT SELLING.
AFTER EVERYTHING WE WENT THROUGH TO GET IT ?
WELL, YOU KNOW, IT'S TOO BIG FOR ONE PERSON.
I'M JUST PUTTING THE WORD OUT
IF ANYONE HEARS OF ANY GREAT APARTMENTS.
I GOT A BUDDY WHO'S PUTTING HIS PLACE ON THE MARKET.
IT MAY BE A LITTLE TOO BACHELOR FOR YOUR TASTE.
I CAN CHANGE THAT.
YOU SHOULD'VE SEEN THIS PLACE WHEN I MOVED IN.
IT WAS WHERE PLAID FURNITURE CAME TO DIE.
I CAN SET IT UP SO YOU CAN GET A FIRST LOOK.
OKAY.
DONE, SO, LET'S GET YOU DIVORCED.
SIT AND SIGN.
DO YOU HAVE A HANDKERCHIEF OR SOMETHING ?
YOU'RE STILL SWEATING.
OH, SORRY, THIS NEVER HAPPENS.
OH, THANKS.
THAT'S IT ?
THAT'S IT.
YOU ARE NO LONGER MRS. TREY MACDOUGAL.
HMM...
HOW DO YOU LIKE THAT ?
I LIKE IT.
YOU HAVE SOME TISSUE STUCK.
I'M A *** MESS TODAY.
( Carrie ) SOMEWHERE OUTSIDE OF PITTSBURGH,
SAMANTHA AND I DECIDED TO GET OUT OF OUR TWIN CANS
AND GO FOR A CLASSIC TRAIN DINNER IN THE CLUB CAR.
THIS IS IT ?
I THOUGHT THERE'D BE WHITE LINEN TABLECLOTHS
AND BING CROSBY SINGING AT A PIANO.
OH.
EXCUSE ME, TABLE FOR TWO, PLEASE.
JUST SIT ANYWHERE THAT'S OPEN.
WHOA.
OH, SORRY, THE TRAIN ZIGGED.
OKAY.
EXCUSE ME, SORRY.
( whispering ) Really ?
HELLO.
THANK YOU.
I'M EATING WITH THE AMISH ?
UH-HUH.
ARE YOU AWARE EVERY TIME WE STOP
GOOD LOOKING PEOPLE GET OFF,
AND MORE UGLY PEOPLE GET ON ?
SHH.
I'M SERIOUS, THIS IS THE TRAIN TO UGLY.
THERE ISN'T ONE MAN ON THIS TRAIN I'D ***.
WHAT ABOUT YOU ?
DON'T ASK ME, I'M ***,
AND NINE HOURS OF TRAIN ROCKING HASN'T HELPED.
SORRY.
IF SHE HAS A PROBLEM, NEXT TIME SHE CAN TAKE A BUGGY.
THANKS.
HOW DO YOU THINK THE ZAGAT GUIDE
WOULD RATE A PLACE THAT LISTS POTATO CHIPS AS AN APPETIZER ?
DON'T EVEN SAY POTATO CHIP TO ME.
THIS ZIT IS GETTING BIGGER BY THE HOUR.
HERE, CAN YOU SEE IT NOW ?
LET'S JUST SAY YOU'RE STARTING TO LOOK LIKE YOU BELONG ON A TRAIN.
OH, REALLY ?
WHAT CAN I GET YOU ?
A MARTINI AND AN AIRPLANE.
UM, WHAT'S SAFE TO ORDER ?
THE CLUB SANDWICH.
AND A MARTINI.
OH, GOD, I NEED A BIG OLD DRIN.
MM-HMM.
AGAIN, SORRY.
( Carrie ) AND SPEAKING OF MARTINIS.
A ZEBRA-SKIN RUG ?
HEY, I TOLD YOU HE WAS A BACHELOR.
BUT A BAR IN THE BEDROOM ?
OH, YOU AIN'T SEEN NOTHING YET.
♪ TA-DA ♪
EW !
OOH...
WELL, YOU SEEM TO KNOW YOUR WAY AROUND HERE.
OH, YEAH, I SUBLET WHILE I WAS GOING THROUGH MY DIVORCE.
WAIT, WAIT, WAIT.
( music playing )
SURROUND SOUND.
I CAN'T BELIEVE THAT MEN THINK IT TAKES ALL THIS STUFF
TO GET A WOMAN INTO BED.
WHAT DOES IT TAKE ?
CHARLOTTE...
WHAT ?
I THINK YOU ARE THE SEXIEST WOMAN I EVER MET.
HARRY !
DON'T BE RIDICULOUS, I'M WEARING MY GLASSES.
IT MAKES ME CRAZY WHEN YOU SAY MY NAME !
THEN I'M DEFINITELY GONNA STOP SAYING IT.
WHAT A PUTZ YOUR EX-HUSBAND MUST BE.
TREY WAS NOT A PUTZ !
WAS A PUTZ !
IF I WAS LUCKY ENOUGH £sTO HAVE YOU IN MY B,
I WOULD NEVER BE ABLE TO TAKE MY HANDS OFF YOU.
STOP, HARRY.
EVER SINCE THE FIRST MOMENT I SAW YOU
I CAN'T THINK ABOUT ANYTHING ELSE.
I'M *** ROMEO OVER HERE.
GOD, IT'S HOT, I'M SWEATING, CAN YOU OPEN THE WINDOW ?
I FANTASIZE ABOUT YOUR LIPS,
YOUR PERFECT PINK LIPS.
♪ SOMEBODY NEEDS YOU ♪
♪ YOUR LIPS, GIRL, THEY KILL ME ♪
( Carrie ) TWO DAYS, TWO TOILET SHOWERS
AND TWO MANY CLUB SANDWICHES LATER...
( phone ringing )
HELLO ?
IT'S ME AND IT'S STILL BAD.
THE TRIP OR THE PIMPLE ?
Both.
I TRIED TO SQUEEZE IT SOMEWHERE OUTSIDE OKLAHOMA.
HERE'S A HELPFUL HINT,
NEVER GIVE YOURSELF A TRAIN FACIAL.
GOT IT.
THIS THING HASN'T STARTED TO DEFLATE BY COLORADO,
I'M NOT EVEN CALLING BIG.
( knocking )
HOLD ON.
SOMEONE WHO USED TO BE SAMANTHA JUST CAME IN.
RUMOR HAS IT GROUP OF GUYS NOT RESEMBLING THE ELEPHANT MAN
JUST GOT ON AND ARE HAVING A BACHELOR PARTY IN THE BAR CAR.
GET DRESSED.
I CAN'T GO ANYWHERE WITH THIS PIMPLE.
I GOT ON A TRAIN FOR YOU.
YOU ARE GOING TO THE BAR CAR WITH ME.
I HAVE TO GO TO A BACHELOR PARTY.
( Carrie ) AND BACK IN NEW YORK,
CHARLOTTE FOUND HERSELF SANDWICHED
BETWEEN SOME CONFIRMED BACHELORS.
HOW CAN A PERSON HAVE REALLY HOT S-E-X
WITH SOMEONE THEY DON'T EVEN LIKE ?
YOU'RE SPELLING "SEX" IN A PLACE WITH A GO-GO BOY ON THE BAR ?
I'M SERIOUS.
WHY ?
OH, MY GOD, CHARL.
YOU ?
I DON'T KNOW WHAT HAPPENED.
HE'S MY DIVORCE LAWYER AND I DON'T EVEN LIKE HIM.
SO, SOME OF THE BEST SEX I'VE HAD IS WITH PEOPLE I CAN'T STAND !
DETAILS !
THIS IS SO EXCITING.
WELL, HE WAS SHOWING ME THIS BACHELOR APARTMENT
AND I THINK IT WAS ALL THE LEATHER AND MUSIC.
LEATHER, I GET IT, GO.
SUDDENLY, OUT OF NOWHERE, WE WERE KISSING AND THEN--
*** ?!
OH, MY GOD, CHAR, THIS IS SO EXCITING !
HOW WAS IT ?
UNBELIEVABLE.
COSMOS FOR EVERYONE !
NO, NO, IT'S NOT GOOD !
I DON'T WANT TO DATE HIM, HE'S NOT VERY ATTRACTIVE.
UGLY SEX IS HOT.
NO, HE'S SWEATY AND PUSHY
AND NO, NO, I COULD NEVER DATE HIM !
WELL, MAYBE JUST FOR THE SEX.
HOW DOES THAT WORK EXACTLY ?
OKAY, LISTEN UP.
YOU HAVE TO BE VERY CLEAR ABOUT THE RULES.
IT'S JUST SEX, YOU CAN'T ACT ROMANTIC AT ALL.
YOU HAVE TO TALK JUST SEX TALK,
"*** ME" AND "GET OUT".
ISN'T THAT RUDE ?
NO, IT'S HOT.
HELLO !
WHERE'S MY DRINK ?
THINGS ARE LOOKING UP.
THEY ARE PRETTY CUTE.
THIS BLUSH IS WORSE THAN THE PIMPLE.
I LOOK LIKE I'M IN A HIGH SCHOOL PLAY OR SOMETHING.
C'MON, FOLLOW MY LEAD.
HELLO.
HI.
WELL, WELL, WELL.
AREN'T YOU BOYS A SIGHT FOR SORE EYES.
SO, WHAT ARE WE DRINKING ?
LIGHT BEER.
OH, WE CAN DO BETTER THAN THAT.
SIR, A BOTTLE OF CHAMPAGNE PLEASE.
I'M SURE ONE OF YOU GENTLEMEN WILL HELP ME POP MY CORK.
( Carrie ) AND JUST LIKE THAT
WE WENT FROM "SOME LIKE IT HOT"
TO "SOME LIKE US NOT".
I THOUGHT I WAS LOOKING PRETTY HOT.
YOU ARE PRETTY HOT.
NOT ACCORDING
TO THEM.CH?
OKAY.
HI.
EXCUSE ME.
BUT, WHAT KIND OF BACHELOR PARTY IS THIS ?
WE'RE NOT REALLY BACHELORS, WE'RE ALL MARRIED.
EXCEPT BRI, HE'S THE LAST ONE IN THE GANG TO BITE IT.
YEAH, WE'RE TAKING HIM TO THE GIANTS GAME IN SAN FRANCISCO.
WELL...
MY FRIEND OVER THERE
HAS COME ON THIS VERY LONG TRIP AS A FAVOR TO ME
AND I WAS HOPING THAT ONE OF YOU FELLAS
COULD OBLIGE HER IN A LITTLE HARMLESS MALE FLIRTATION.
WE'RE TRYING TO BE GOOD, PROMISED OUR WIVES.
( Carrie ) AS FAR AS A ***, I WAS A TOTAL TRAIN WRECK.
THEY LOVE THEIR WIVES.
YOU WERE RIGHT, CARRIE.
IT'S NOT NEW YORK THAT'S THE PROBLEM, IT'S ME.
I AM HAVING AN EXISTEN--
A MID-LIFE THING, YOU KNOW.
THIS THING HAS ROOTS.
I DON'T KNOW WHAT I'M GONNA DO.
I MEAN, I ALREADY *** YOUNGER GUYS
AND I DON'T WANT A SPORTS CAR.
OH, GOD, PARKING IN NEW YORK IS A ***.
I'M SORRY ABOUT THE TRAIN.
THIS WAS A TERRIBLE IDEA.
OH...
IT'S ALL MY FAULT.
ALL BECAUSE I HAD TO GET LAID.
THERE ! POPPED IT.
ALRIGHT !
LET'S GET ANOTHER BOTTLE TO CELEBRATE.
( Carrie ) ONE VERY LONG TRIP LATER,
SAMANTHA AND I DRAGGED OUR CABOOSES
INTO A BOOKSTORE NEAR THE GOLDEN GATE.
IMPRESSIVE TURNOUT.
I GUESS YOU ARE BIG IN SAN FRANCISCO.
OH, MY PUBLISHER.
YOU MADE IT IN ONE PIECE !
WELL, THAT'S DEBATABLE.
WOW.
I CAN'T BELIEVE IT.
ALL THESE PEOPLE CAME TO HEAR ME READ ?
UM, CARRIE ?
YES.
THEY'RE NOT ALL JUST FOR YOU.
MR. WINKLE'S HERE.
WHO'S MR. WINKLE ?
HE'S MAKING AN APPEARANCE RIGHT AFTER YOU.
YOU'RE OPENING FOR A DOG ?
I KNOW.
THEY HAD A CHANCE TO GET MR. WINKLE AND THEY JUMPED AT IT.
HE'S HUGE ON THE INTERNET.
LILY, I CAN'T BE THE OPENING ACT FOR A DOG.
WHAT CAN I SAY, CARRIE ?
THE WEST COAST SALES REP TOTALLY *** ME ON THIS.
( male ) LILY, HI !
HEY.
ONE SEC, I'LL BE RIGHT BACK.
YOU KNOW--
THANKS, BUT DON'T EVEN WASTE YOUR ENERGY.
GO BACK TO THE HOTEL
AND GET IN THAT GIANT TUB AND RELAX.
I'LL SEE YOU LATER AND WE'LL HAVE A MEAL.
LATER ?
AREN'T YOU GONNA CALL BIG ?
BETWEEN THE PIMPLE AND THE PUPPY, I'M NOT UP FOR IT.
ARE YOU SURE ?
YEAH, GO, GO, TAKE A LONG BATH.
I MAY NEVER GET OUT.
BYE.
THIS BOOK TOUR STUFF IS ROUGH.
THAT'S A CUTE TOP.
"AS I WALKED HOME I COULDN'T HELP BUT WONDER,
"WAS IT MR. BIG, WAS IT NEW YORK,
OR WAS IT ME ?"
( cell phone ringing )
DOES ANYONE HAVE A QUESTION ?
YES.
WHEN IS MR. WINKLE COMING OUT ?
OH, AH,
IN A MERE MOMENT.
SO, IF THERE ARE NO OTHER QUESTIONS ABOUT MY BOOK...
YES, I SEE A HAND, BUT I CAN'T SEE THE MAN.
COULD YOU SHIFT, SORRY.
YES, I HAVE A QUESTION.
UM, THIS MR. BIG CHARACTER,
DOES HE HAVE A REAL NAME ?
YES, BUT I CAN'T REVEAL IT.
I HAVE TO PROTECT HIS PRIVACY.
( Carrie ) I NO LONGER CARED ABOUT MR. WINKLE.
I HAD MR. BIG.
SAMANTHA ?!
SAMANTHA !
I'M TAKING A BUBBLE BATH.
YOU HAVE TO GET OUT.
BIG'S HERE, I NEED TO HAVE SEX.
I'M TAKING A BATH.
I GOT YOU A SMALLER ROOM, ALL TO YOURSELF DOWNSTAIRS.
I CAN'T GET IN ANOTHER SMALL ROOM.
PLEASE, I HAVE TO GET LAID.
WELL...
YOU BETTER *** HIM GOOD
BECAUSE I'M NOT GONNA GO THROUGH THIS AGAIN IN ANOTHER SIX MONTHS.
CAN YOU HURRY ?
I TOLD HIM TO COME UP IN A HALF HOUR.
SO, SNAP IT UP, FASTER.
OKAY, THANK YOU, SWEETS, THANK YOU.
( knocking )
OH...
HEY, YOU.
SO, DID YOU HIDE THE BODY ?
WHAT BODY ?
OR WHATEVER IT WAS YOU NEEDED TO DO
THAT KEPT ME WANDERING AROUND THE HOTEL GIFT SHOP FOR HALF AN HOUR ?
HMM, I GOT YOU SOME GUM.
BIG RED.
THE CLERK RECOMMENDED IT.
WELL, AREN'T YOU SOMETHING.
WANT SOME ?
SURE.
HMM.
NICE DIGS.
THIS WILL SET YOUR PUBLISHER BACK, HUH ?
YEAH.
YOU LOOK GOOD.
SO DO YOU, KID.
( choking sounds )
WHAT ?
MY GUM.
CHRIST, YOU SURPRISED ME.
OH.
YEAH, I SWALLOWED IT.
SORRY.
LET ME KISS IT AND MAKE IT ALL BETTER.
HOW'S THAT ?
WE BETTER GO.
DINNER RESERVATIONS.
OH, I'M NOT HUNGRY.
WE HAVE TO GO, I PROMISED MY PARTNERS
I'D MAKE A LITTLE VINEYARD CONNECTION WITH THE RESTAURANT OWNERS.
SO, LET'S GO,
WE'LL HAVE A NICE MEAL AND CATCH UP.
OKAY.
SO, I'M WALKING THROUGH THE MALL AND I SEE YOUR BOOK.
WAIT, YOU WERE IN A MALL ?
I LIVE IN AMERICA NOW.
YOU GOTTA GO THROUGH THEM TO GET TO THE OUTSIDE.
ANYWAY, I PASS A BOOKSTORE AND THERE YOU ARE,
RIGHT IN THE WINDOW NEXT TO THE REAL BOOKS.
OH, SIR, YOU ARE TOO KIND.
GOOD COVER.
CUTE, SEXY.
SEXY, HUH ?
MMM.
SO, I GO IN, I BOUGHT IT, DROVE RIGHT HOME,
SAT IN MY PORCH, LIT UP A CIGAR
AND I READ IT COVER TO COVER.
"PORCH" ?
SCREEN DOORS AND EVERYTHING.
WELL... WHAT'D YOU THINK ?
I HAD NO IDEA THAT I HURT YOU SO MUCH.
I GOTTA SAY, IT WAS TOUGH TO SEE IT IN PRINT.
YOU'VE READ MY COLUMNS.
NO ALL AT ONE SITTING.
ONE READING, ONE RIGHT AFTER THE OTHER.
BAM, BAM, BAM.
I REALLY GOT HOW MUCH I HURT YOU.
OH, C'MON, THAT'S FICTION.
FICTION !
I EMBELLISHED.
NO, CARRIE, SOME OF THAT STUFF REALLY HAPPENED,
WORD FOR WORD.
IT'S JUST WRITING.
IT'S ALL IN THE PAST.
LET'S FORGET ALL THAT AND TALK ABOUT SOMETHING ELSE.
HOW'S THE WINE BUSINESS ?
GREAT.
YEAH ?
YOU KNOW IN THAT CHAPTER ABOUT MY APARTMENT KEY ?
WAS I REALLY THAT BIG OF AN *** ?
OH, MY GOD.
"HE WAS LIKE THE CITY ITSELF.
COLD, INFURIATING AND EXHAUSTING."
( Carrie ) SUDDENLY IT BECAME CLEAR TO ME,
THIS WAS NOT MY BEST LAID PLAN.
SEE, THAT'S WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT.
WHEN HAVE I EVER BEEN COLD ?
AM I COLD ?
NO, YOU'RE HOT.
VERY HOT.
WHAT ABOUT CHAPTER THREE ?
THAT WAS ALL YEARS AGO.
CAN WE-- CAN WE PLEASE STOP TALKING ?
WAIT, WAIT, WAIT.
WHAT, WHAT, WHAT ?
LOOK, I JUST DON'T WANT YOU TO GET HURT AGAIN.
I WON'T, IT'S JUST SEX !
WELL, ACCORDING TO THIS BOOK, IT IS NOT JUST SEX.
LOOK, WHAT HAPPENED IN NEW YORK WAS ALL MY FAULT.
I DIDN'T READ THE SIGNS.
YOU WERE UNAVAILABLE AND VERY CLEAR ABOUT THAT.
IT WAS ALL ME !
NOW, PLEASE, KISS ME.
OR AT LEAST, LIE ON TOP OF ME.
CARRIE, I THINK IT'S VERY CLEAR FROM THIS BOOK,
THAT WHEN IT COMES TO ME,
YOU DO NOT HAVE GOOD JUDGMENT.
NOW, LOOK AT CHAPTER THREE.
THAT'S FICTION !
AND IT'S NOT EVEN A BESTSELLER !
HERE, PAGE 39.
I CAN'T BELIEVE THIS IS HAPPENING.
ARE YOU INVOLVED WITH SOMEONE ELSE ?
NO.
OH, IT'S THE PIMPLE, ISN'T IT ?
I JUST DON'T WANT TO DO SOMETHING HERE
THAT I'LL BE SORRY FOR LATER.
I'M FINE, LOOK AT ME.
PUT THE BOOK DOWN
AND LOOK AT ME.
I'M FINE.
JUST FINE.
DON'T I LOOK FINE ?
MM-HMM.
SO...
LET'S TALK JUST A LITTLE MORE.
NOW LOOK, PAGE 39.
THIS PART...
I LOVE MAKING LOVE TO YOU.
NO.
THAT WAS NOT LOVE, THAT WAS JUST SEX.
CHARLOTTE, YOU ARE SO BEAUTIFUL.
YOUR SKIN IS SO SOFT,
SO SMOOTH.
AND YOU...
HAVE A HARD ***.
NOW, PUT YOUR PANTS ON AND GO.
IS THAT OKAY ?
WHATEVER YOU SAY.
( Carrie ) THERE THEY WERE,
THE BACHELORETTE AND THE BEAST.
WHAT ABOUT...
DINNER SATURDAY NIGHT ?
HEY, THIS IS JUST SEX.
WE'RE NOT A COUPLE, YOU'RE JUST...
A GREAT ***.
IS THAT CLEAR ?
CLEAR.
( phone ringing )
HELLO ?
( female ) Good morning, it's your wake-up call.
OH, WHAT TIME IS IT ?
7:30.
WHAT TIME DID I SAY ?
7:30.
OH, OKAY, THANK YOU.
( Carrie ) AFTER MY WAKEUP CALL, I GOT MY REAL WAKEUP CALL.
THANKS TO MY BOOK
NOTHING WAS EVER GOING TO HAPPEN WITH BIG.
HEY.
WHERE ARE YOU GOING ?
I HAVE TWO BOOK READINGS THIS MORNING
BEFORE I HEAD BACK TO NEW YORK.
NOT SO FAST.
COME HERE.
NOW ?
WHAT ABOUT LAST NIGHT,
ALL THAT TALK, ALL THOSE CONCERNS ?
*** IT.
YOU'LL NEED MATERIAL FOR THE SEQUEL.
"LIKE THAT FRECKLE ON MY FACE
THAT HE ONCE TOLD ME HE LOVED.
"I COULD DO MY BEST TO COVER IT DURING THE DAY,
"BUT AT NIGHT,
"AFTER I WASHED THE CITY OFF MY FACE,
"THERE IT WAS,
"A TINY BROWN DOT NEAR THE TIP OF MY LIP
"AND I WONDERED,
"HOW SOMETHING SO SMALL
COULD SUDDENLY SEEM SO BIG."
HERE YOU GO.
THANK YOU.
LUGGAGE IN THE CAR, CAR AT THE CURB.
OH, THANKS FOR DOING ALL THAT.
SO, HOW DID IT GO WITH BIG ?
WE HAD SEX.
HALLELUJAH.
YEAH, BUT IT WAS NOT AS SIMPLE AS I HAD HOPED.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN ?
THE QUESTION AND ANSWER SECTION OF THIS READING
IS NOW OVER.
I'LL TELL YOU ON THE TRAIN.
TRAIN ? GET REAL.
AMERICAN AIRLINES,
FIRST CLASS AND SOME VALUE.
I CANNOT WAIT TO GET TO NEW YOR.
WHAT ABOUT THE MID-LIFE CRISIS ?
HONEY, WHO'S MID-LIFE ?
( Carrie ) AND SOMETIMES IT'S NOT THE JOURNEY,
IT'S THE DESTINATION.
♪ YOU KNOW HOW I FEEL ♪
♪ SUN IN THE SKY ♪
♪ YOU KNOW HOW I FEEL ♪
Captions Copyright 2002 HOME BOX OFFICE
A Division of TIME WARNER ENTERTAINMENT COMPANY, L.P.
Captioned by HBO COMMUNICATIONS CENTER